Vacancy: A Love Story

by Tracy Ewens

  “I drink myself comfortably numb and then I stick my head in the sand.”

  Hollis laughed. “I’ve mastered that. Do I have permission to return to the sand, Mr. Miyagi?”

  Uncle Mitch laughed, and they sipped their tea knowing full well the time for drinking had come and gone. This was the end of it. He never pushed or asked for the details, and he didn’t judge. He simply put his arm around her and squeezed. She imagined it was easier being an uncle as opposed to a father, but at that moment, Hollis was on Team Mitch because if she’d had the same conversation with her father, she’d be sucking her thumb in the corner. Failure of this magnitude, and as a result of a moment of stupidity no less, was simply not acceptable in the Jeffries household. She had tried for two months. She would go back to her cabin tonight and send more e-mails, leave more voicemails, and find a way to accept the “dark place.”

  Matt walked through the men’s locker room of the gym and out a door to the pool. According to Toro, they were going to be working in the outside pool today. It was a little after eight and one of Poppy’s full-time days as she started to make her way back to managing the shop. There were two long lap pools in the front and a secondary “deep end” pool, as Toro had described it, toward the back. The smell of sunscreen and chlorine hung in the air in almost equal measure. There was some type of adult swim lesson going on in one of the pools, but Matt finally found Toro’s massive frame crouched down at the back pool’s edge. As he made his way closer, he saw his father, bare from the waist up, holding on to the side of the pool. His hair was wet and when he noticed Matt approaching, he did something Matt had not seen in years: he smiled. Matt had given up feeling much more than duty and responsibility toward his father a long time ago, but his chest tightened at the sight.

  “Hey, man,” Toro said, hopping into the pool next to Matt’s dad.

  “Hey, this is a great place.”

  “Isn’t it?” his father said. “Thanks for coming down to get me.”

  Matt was taken aback, and Toro smiled when their eyes met.

  “I was telling your dad here about my surfing accident and how pain can put you in a bad mood forever until you get some relief.”

  “Are you starting to feel relief, Dad?”

  His father nodded as Toro moved him off the wall and deeper into the water. Matt sat on one of the chairs poolside and felt tears well in his eyes. They should have been tears of joy seeing his father so fluid and mobile, but they were loaded with so much more. The pressure of his solitary childhood eased and he saw his father as simply a man. In the water, hair slicked off his face, he wasn’t the stern taskmaster who put Matt to work after school starting when he was thirteen. “It’ll keep you outta trouble,” that’s what he’d said. But here, kicking and moving the water with his hands, he was something Matt recognized. He was a man in his simplest form working on making himself better, and Matt had never felt closer to his father than he did in that moment.

  When they were finished, not wanting to disturb the look on his father’s face, Matt let Toro help his father out of the water while he stood and handed him a towel.

  “You’re looking good, Dad.”

  “I feel good. I’m almost one hundred percent.”

  “Ninety-nine.” Toro smiled as they all sat around a small white table.

  “So how’s your girl?” his father asked.

  Matt looked to Toro, who shrugged in that way that confirmed they’d been talking about him.

  “She’s probably packing to go home as we speak.”

  “Ya see, this is where I went wrong.”

  Matt could feel the strain creep into his neck.

  “I never told you what a catch you are, how lucky a woman would be to have you.”

  Now shocked twice in the last hour, Matt wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Does she know you’re loaded?”

  They all laughed and Matt shook his head. “She knows what I do for a living.”

  “She knows you’re a coffee guy. Does she know the things you’ve invented? Has she seen your office downtown? These are the things you need to be showing off.”

  “Dad, you haven’t even seen my office.”

  “I know, and I’d like to.”

  Matt looked to Toro. “Is there some kind of magic in the water?”

  Toro shook his head and left them alone.

  “He’s a smart man and I’ve been a good father, but not lately.”

  “Dad, it’s fine. I’m glad you are feeling—”

  “Don’t interrupt. I am not sure when I jumped off track, but you’re all I have, and lately that scares me. We tried hard not to burden you with your brother’s death, and I keep bringing it up. Maybe I’m getting old. It’s getting hot out here and my trunks are starting to itch, but I wanted to thank you. I also want you to know that I’m so proud of you.”

  Matt had to turn away because he was going to cry, so he hugged his father. “Thank you.”

  Both men walked back to the locker room and his father said Toro was “one of those meditating types and he’s helping me relax my mind too.”

  Matt laughed.

  “I know, right? Your mom’s awful happy about that part too.”

  He left his dad at the door to the locker room and made plans to have lunch with him in the city, at his office, in a couple of weeks. Matt still wondered about the magic in the water, but he wasn’t going to question any of it. His father was making his way back and Matt felt a sense of pride that he’d barged in, picked him up, and helped, no matter how messy it was in the beginning. Matt was no longer on the sidelines waiting for things to happen.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Hollis started packing her things when she woke up around four in the morning on Tuesday. When she’d opened her eyes, her first thought was that time was up. Kind of like exam days in school, when the period ended and the teacher would say in a stern voice, “Pencils down.”

  She had exhausted her options; the final consulting firm came back with something she hardly understood. There was some key or encryption to Zeke’s methodology that he alone could unlock. They all apologized, asked where to send their invoice, and moved Hollis closer and closer to the place she was now standing. Right on the edge of a cliff.

  Her phone vibrated right as she finished putting her two sweaters on the top of her suitcase. It was Reese. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat and told herself there was no way he knew. There would need to be an investigation into the failed investment. That’s when they would know what she’d done. He knew nothing, she told herself, and answered.

  Reese announced he was in the conference room with Corning, Megan, and a few of the investors. Her heart dropped. Hollis greeted the group as if nothing was wrong. There was a brief pause; then she heard what sounded like clapping.

  She didn’t say anything, wondering if someone else had entered the room.

  “That was the best we could do with you still off site, Ms. Jeffries,” Corning said.

  Hollis was still confused. Fortunately, Corning was a direct man, a trait she admired in her boss, and he got right to the point.

  “I have to say, I had my doubts for a minute there, but you have saved this project in brilliant fashion. Working tirelessly under pressure, and remotely at that. Zeke has delivered the finished product and Liam e-mailed the extensive testing results. Things are on track.”

  “We couldn’t be happier,” some other female voice said.

  Hollis probably would have recognized the voice had she not been more shocked and more confused than she’d ever been in her entire life, and that included the time her Chemistry teacher gave her a D on the final.

  Wait, Zeke fixed it? Was that possible?

  “And as if that is not good enough, Zeke says he was, and I quote, mad inspired, and has completed two more follow-up games that he would like to show us next week,” Corning added. “Hollis, are you there?”

  “Yes, I’m here. Still soaking in the relief. I�
�m so glad things worked out and we made it happen within the time frame. Investors, thank you for your patience.” She thought that sounded convincing and heard chattering. Hollis needed to figure out what was going on, so she decided to back out slowly while they were obviously talking among themselves.

  “Thank you for the call, but I need to catch another call in five minutes,” she lied.

  “Okay. Sure. You go off and save the world a little more. When can we expect you home?” Corning asked.

  “I need to wrap up a few things.”

  “Fine, tie up loose ends and we’ll see you in the office on Monday. Incredible work on this.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Oh, and Hollis?”

  “Yes?”

  “We’ve already sent them an e-mail, but if you have a chance, please thank your team at Pilot Programs for their help. Great idea reaching out to them. We’ll let you go,” he said and disconnected, which was a great thing because she wouldn’t have been able to say anything even if she’d known what to say.

  Pilot Programs. Holy shit!

  Hollis felt an avalanche of emotions hit her all at once, and none of them were good. She closed her laptop and left the cabin.

  Matt was in the kitchen when he heard the front door of his parents’ place open. He knew it was her, knew why she’d stopped by. Bradley had called him last night to give him the good news. He was going to call her, tell her, but decided not to. She was walking toward him with a look that told him he should have called.

  “Morning. I was about to call you.”

  “Really? Why?”

  The anger spilled off her. He’d expected it because he’d broken the rules, Hollis’s golden rules of distance and space. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m sure you—”

  “Don’t you dare.” She stood, hands on her hips. He’d never seen her so pissed, and he was somehow fine with it because whether she knew it or not, the weight behind her eyes, the worry, was gone.

  He stepped into her, leaving no space between them. “Dare what?”

  “You do not save me. I save myself.”

  Matt said nothing yet tried to hold on to her gaze.

  “I didn’t need your help. I would have figured it out.”

  “I don’t think so, Holls. You needed some help with this one, and I was happy to offer.”

  “Offer? You didn’t even tell me.”

  “You didn’t either. Bradley mentioned something about your firm and the trouble you were having, so you didn’t tell me either.”

  “I’m not some charity case you need to ride in on your white horse to save.”

  “I don’t have a horse and I didn’t save you. I helped. It turned out to be a coding issue, and some of our guys knew Zeke.”

  “It’s not your right. You had no business—”

  “I love you. I have every business.”

  “Why?”

  “Why is it my business?”

  “No, why do you love me?”

  “Oh, Holls. You were right. You’re my split-apart, and you were killing yourself over something that I found myself in a position to fix. I can’t help it.”

  “I left us, left you.” She sat at the small kitchen table and he sat across from her.

  “So what? That’s the past, let it go. Please, this one time, give yourself a damn break.”

  “I can’t because if I let that piece go, then I lose all the rest.”

  “It’s not a package deal. We can shine it up and turn it into whatever we want. Hell, half the world doesn’t even know you were pregnant. No one knows you didn’t want to be pregnant. It’s the past.”

  “Don’t dismiss this, dismiss my feelings like they’re no big deal. I’m not some doe-eyed girl in awe of your powers. This is my job, my life. I wish you had respected me enough to give me my space. I was blindsided in that conference call. You stepped over the line.”

  “I told them you called us, gave you the credit. What line? I helped you.”

  “I didn’t ask. Forget it. I’m repeating myself, and I’m leaving.”

  Hollis turned and Matt took her shoulders. “No. If you’re going to walk out again, I’m going to blow your bullshit wide open. You let people help, just not me? Okay, so when your project hit the fan at work, when you screwed up, how many people did you let help you? Who’d you call?”

  “I called my family. I told them everything.”

  “Everything? Did you? No, you wouldn’t have shared the ugly part, the piece you might need help dealing with. Those pieces you keep for yourself. You must have quite a collection shoved down in there by now.”

  “I hate you.”

  “That’s okay. But know one thing. I know what’s happening. I can feel it. You’re getting ready to run again, back to your corner, where you can control all the optics, come out as Hollis Jeffries, perfect oldest daughter. I used to be the perfect guy for you because I never wanted a mess either. You said back up and I backed up. You wanted more space and I was happy to oblige because… because I’m probably as screwed up.”

  She scoffed and turned away from him. He pulled her back.

  “Here’s the problem with your plan this time. I’m not that kid anymore, Hollis. Know that if, when, you bolt, I’m coming after you. Be prepared for that.”

  He took her face, cradled it. “Fall on me. Let it all go and let me hold you.”

  “No.”

  “Look at me. I will not drop you. I’m right here and no one is looking. Break, Hollis. Let it go.”

  “I… please leave it alone.”

  She looked at him, deep into his eyes, questioning if she could once and for all trust him and like a wave about to crest, she pulled back and then crashed.

  “The two guys, the ones that run Pretty Boys with Zeke… I slept with one of them. There, are you happy now? Is this ugly enough for you?”

  “I know.”

  “You… what? How do you know?”

  Matt said nothing because he knew she would continue and he didn’t want to screw it up.

  “The worst part is I didn’t even want him. Some other partner at our firm wanted him. He could have been her mistake, but instead I wanted to show that I could get him, that I could win. Oh God, that’s so screwed up I can’t even believe I said it. He climbed into my bed and assured me that his company was on the up and up. I let that influence my decision and I took the deal without meeting Zeke. One look at him and I would have pulled back, I would have known, but instead I was—”

  “Distracted.”

  “Yeah, an amateur move, and I fell for it. That makes me—”

  “Human?”

  “Oh no, don’t pull that with me. ‘You’re like everyone else, Hollis.’ I’m not. I’m worse.”

  “I don’t think that’s true.”

  “That’s because you’re screwed up too. You… don’t see me the way I am. Did you know when we were in college I got back up to study for a couple of extra hours after you went to bed to make sure I knew more than you?”

  “I did.”

  “Did you know one time in Junior Sailing I hid your tiller?”

  Matt laughed, he couldn’t help it. “That one actually sounds like fun.”

  “It’s true, and one time when I was playing Monopoly with Annabelle and I was banker, I took two extra five-hundred-dollar bills when she wasn’t watching.”

  She put her head in her hands. “I’m an awful person. I don’t know if it’s because I was the first, you know, the guinea pig for my parents or what, but something went wrong because I’m awful.”

  Matt shook his head. “I’m sorry to say it because I know you hate being ordinary, but you’re like the rest of us, Holls. You make mistakes. The difference is you don’t let them go. You never forgive yourself, so there’s a self-hate thing going on.”

  Hollis was still crying and made her way to the door. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but this time, he knew what he was doing. He was giving her space, but not much and not for long.

/>   Chapter Twenty-Eight

  By the time Hollis walked back to her cabin, she’d calmed down and found some order. Being back had taught her so many things, but now it was time to go. Whether or not she wanted him too was irrelevant now. Matt had saved her ass, saved her job so she could go back to the life she’d worked so hard to create. There was some irony in there, but Hollis didn’t have the stamina to figure it out. She closed her suitcase and walked to her uncle’s office. He was feeding receipts into the small machine she bought him. His desk was clean, a candle lit, and his classical string music softly played in the background. It looked like a collected, civilized place and Hollis almost fell over.

  Her uncle’s eyes went to her suitcase then found hers. “Is it time for you to go already? I’m starting to get the hang of this thing.” He stood. “I think orderly and responsible looks good on me.” As if he sensed she was going to cry, he pulled her into his arms. “I heard things worked out at the job,” he said softly, resting his head on top of hers.

  Hollis nodded.

  “That’s good.”

  They stood and embraced, and Hollis didn’t want to let go. She did what moved her forward, closer to the next cookie, but she didn’t want to this time. She’d found peace in folding towels, setting up activities, and playing the karate kid. She’d watched the movie three times with him since that day. It was good.

  “You’ll come back and see me soon?”

  She nodded again, almost afraid to speak for fear she’d blubber all over him.

  “Quick story.”

  Hollis started to pull away, but he held her. “Right here is fine. This one will be quick. So I knew this guy once, second in his family of two boys, and he was a badass. Hotshot stockbroker, living the life. He met a gorgeous man who, for some reason, liked him too and so he got down on the proverbial knee to ask him to get married. He said yes and they set the date.”

  She could feel his breath quicken.

  “They were going to go someplace with palm trees and blue water for the honeymoon, so a few months before the wedding, they decided to get certified in scuba. The gorgeous man went for the standard physical and found out he had cancer. Stage four, pancreatic.”