Eat the Ones You Love (The Thirteen Book 2)

by J. L. Murray

  “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I brought Sully here. I’m sorry, Fisher. You tried to help me.”

  “You could have stopped it.”

  “Don’t say that,” said Jenny.

  She crab walked back on her hands, to get away from Fisher, to keep his eyes from hurting her anymore. She stopped when she sensed a presence looming above her.

  Two figures. One was short and thin, the other wide and busty. There was something wrong with them. They stepped toward her. She covered her mouth with her hand when she saw them. Veronica and Beacon, carrying their own heads, gore dripping from their necks.

  “You could have stopped it,” said Beacon’s head.

  “You could have stopped it,” said V’s head.

  “I didn’t know,” Jenny whispered from behind her hand.

  “You didn’t even try,” said V. “He loved you.”

  “Jenny,” said a voice, so familiar. Jenny stood and turned. They were walking towards her now, all but one. Casey stood in front of her now.

  “Don’t say it,” Jenny said. “Please.”

  “You didn’t know,” he said.

  “I didn’t know,” she repeated. But it came out false. “I didn’t try.”

  “Would he have let you?” said Casey.

  “Yes,” said Jenny. “He would have done anything for me. Even…”

  “Even died?” said Casey. “Died for you like he killed for you?”

  Jenny didn’t answer. She looked over at the figure standing alone. The others crowded around her. She couldn’t feel their touch but she saw them reaching for her.

  “I could have stopped it,” she said, the words feeling like glass in her throat. “But I didn’t.”

  All the shapes disappeared but one. The lonely silhouette standing by himself. She walked towards him and as he came into view she gasped, her heart in her throat, her legs turned to jelly. Declan stood tall, looking at her, his guts black with rot, his spine exposed and glowing white. Black blood gushed from the wound under his jaw. He looked down at her.

  “I could have stopped it,” she said. “I’m so sorry, Declan.”

  “You didn’t know,” he said, his voice gurgling with blood.

  “I should have tried.”

  “Let it go,” he said. “It wasn’t me.”

  “Yes, it was,” said Jenny. “It was you and it was my fault.”

  “You lost me the moment Sully bit me,” he said. “I was gone when I came back, Jen. It wasn’t your imagination. We played at being human for a while, but it was pretend. You know it was.”

  “We didn’t pretend,” said Jenny.

  “You don’t even sound like you believe yourself,” said Declan.

  “Stop it,” she said. “Why do you sound that way? You’re so cold.”

  “I am cold. I’m dead. And you’re free now.”

  “I’m not free,” she said, her voice suddenly full of emotion. “I am the opposite of free. I am gasping for air, Declan. I can’t breathe for all the guilt and hate and grief. Because I didn’t save you.”

  “You’re free now,” he repeated. “You don’t have to pretend.”

  “Pretend what? Pretend to be human?” she said.

  “Yes.”

  “If I’m not human, then what am I?” she said. “I really need to know.” She stepped close to him and looked up at his face, his beautiful face that was so cold and so dead now. No more pretend. “What am I, Declan?” she whispered.

  “A monster,” he said. He smiled brilliantly, his face cruel and joyful.

  And she felt something shift inside her. She felt the pain being overwhelmed by another feeling. Something cold and dark and hungry. Then she remembered.

  “I don’t need to breathe if I’m dead,” she said.

  “You have to be Jenny Undead if you want to win.”

  Jenny gasped for air as her eyes shot open. She was lying on a couch in a dim room. Candles flickered on a desk, casting their shadows onto the ceiling. Metal was pressing into her head. The barrel of a gun.

  “Did you know,” said an old woman’s voice from across the room, “that it’s far cheaper to kill you than to sedate you?”

  “What the fuck is happening?” Jenny said, her head swimming.

  “You are in my office,” said the woman’s voice. “I am Dr. Warnken. So nice to see you, Jenny.”

  “Fuck you.” Jenny spat blood on the thick green carpet. The muzzle pressed harder into her head.

  “I knew your mother, Jenny. I was so very sorry to hear of her passing.”

  “Didn’t you watch it happen?” said Jenny. “Didn’t you pop some popcorn and watch my sister kill my mom?”

  “Bring her over here,” said the woman. “I hate yelling across the room.”

  Strong hands grabbed her by the arms and lifted her.

  “Oh come on, she’s 120 pounds. Stop being such a pussy about it,” said the woman, her white hair sparkling and reflecting the tiny candle flames.

  “She killed Dr. Klein,” said a man’s voice in her ear. “She killed him like it was nothing.”

  “Well, no one liked Klein. Not really,” said the woman. Her voice was familiar. “Just bring her over. Sit her down.”

  The man half-carried her to a purple overstuffed chair in front of the desk. She sank into it and closed her eyes, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

  “Your body is repairing your brain,” said the woman. “It takes time. Tell me, how do you feel?”

  “Fuck off,” said Jenny, looking up. The candles were flickering, making her eyes focus on them. She blinked and the person behind the desk came into focus. A woman, tall with a masculine face etched with age. She had her hands laced together on the desk.

  “I know you,” said Jenny.

  “Indeed.”

  “You were here before, when I was a little girl. You brainwashed me. You made me believe she wasn’t real. My sister.”

  “I was under strict orders. My father was in charge back then, and he did things differently. Now it’s Mr. Mercer’s way. They have quite different…styles. They always did. And the differences have — what’s the word? — intensified in recent years.”

  Jenny covered her eyes.

  “Why the fuck are there so many candles?”

  “Oh,” said Warnken. “I’m sorry. I was told that candles were soothing. Shall I tell them to take them away?”

  “They make my eyes hurt,” said Jenny.

  “Yes, the bullet nicked your optic nerve. You may experience some sensitivity.” She motioned to the man at Jenny’s side, who hesitated.

  “Ma’am, I would advise against this.”

  “Shut up and take this shit away,” she said.

  “You have a dirty fucking mouth,” Jenny said.

  The gun was removed from her temple and the man came around and bent over the desk. Jenny twitched and he jumped, sweat popping up on his shaved head, reaching for the gun he’d just replaced in its holster. Jenny smiled at him. He narrowed his eyes and then blew the candles out one by one, placing them on a cart. Jenny’s head was starting to clear.

  “No, don’t put them there, take them out of here. It smells like a fucking Catholic church in here.”

  “Ma’am…”

  “Get the fuck out,” said Warnken. “I’ll buzz if I need you.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  He shut the door behind him and Warnken looked at Jenny.

  “Was that supposed to impress me?” Jenny said.

  “Frankly, I don’t care. You are something of a rebel, aren’t you? You always have been. I’ve been wanting to see you again for a long time.”

  “Then why haven’t you?” said Jenny. “You sent people out to keep an eye on me. Abel. Faron. Sully.”

  “We had nothing to do with Mr. Sullivan. He was a disgusting man.”

  “He worked for you.”

  “I employ a great many disgusting men,” said Warnken, sitting back in her chair. “You have to wade in the muck oc
casionally if you want to run the world.”

  “You want to run the world?” said Jenny. “This world?”

  “And as for not seeing you earlier, it just didn’t seem sensible. You run with a very tough crowd, Miss Hawkins. Terrorists, anarchists, murderers. Outlaws. It may have clouded your judgment. I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to see the bigger picture.”

  “The bigger picture of running the world?” said Jenny. “Yeah, I’m a dick that way.”

  “Believe it or not, that is exactly how your mother reacted in the beginning. But she came around because she wanted to see what the technology could do. Curiosity always was her downfall.”

  “The technology,” said Jenny. “Is that what we’re calling it?”

  “What do you call it?” said Warnken.

  “I call it horrific,” said Jenny. “I call it cruelty to children that didn’t have a say or a choice. I call it something that never should have fucking happened. Ever. I call it the biggest mistake anyone in history ever made.”

  “Oh, don’t be dramatic,” said Warnken. “This is progress.”

  “You infected the world with a disease. That’s not progress.”

  “It is progress, if that’s your intent,” said Warnken. “My father didn’t want to fix the world. He wanted to start fresh. And so do I.”

  Jenny laughed. “Fresh? Seriously?”

  “The nanotechnology that Grant designed is flawless. It will combat this horrible illness that vexes the world now.”

  “The plague that you spread.”

  “Nothing is perfect in the beginning,” Warnken continued, ignoring Jenny. “There are still some areas that need more research.”

  “And that’s why I’m here now,” said Jenny.

  Warnken leaned forward. “Let’s be clear. You are here now because our most brilliant engineer was in fear of his life. You are here now because you allowed our most tireless researcher to be brutally murdered. You are here now as a courtesy. I should put you where you belong. In a cell.”

  “Is that where Sarah is?” said Jenny. “Trix and Zeke, too? You put them in a cell, is that right? Just like Faron?”

  “Mr. Faron has stolen information from us,” said Warnken, her voice edgy. “He is locked up until he tells us what he has done with it.”

  “Information?” said Jenny.

  “Information, drugs, you name it,” said Warnken. “You understand that I can’t let you kill him until he tells me where he has taken my property.”

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” said Jenny. “You were serious about letting me kill him? You fucking made him.”

  Warnken narrowed her eyes. “Faron is my child, it’s true. You all are. Even you, Jenny. Especially you. You were our first success. If you think about it, we’re all family.”

  “You apparently don’t know what happens to the people in my family.”

  “Oh, but I do. You eat the ones you love, is that it?” She smiled a knowing smile. A motherly smile that made Jenny’s stomach turn. “Or do they eat you? We know about…your companion. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  “Don’t talk about him,” Jenny said.

  “I understand he was very important to you.”

  “Don’t fucking talk about him. Don’t even think about him.”

  “He was yours, correct? He was yours and no one else's? I can understand that.”

  Jenny was across the desk before she knew what she was doing, her vision tinged with red. How long had it been since she’d seen the red? It seemed a lifetime ago. But here she was, seething with rage, with hunger, and the red was coming back. Like an old friend.

  Like it never left.

  “I see the family resemblance,” Warnken said, the gun under Jenny’s chin. “Is it pleasant when you die? Are you so eager to do it again? I’m not sure you have an infinite number of lives, you know. For all we know, there could be a very finite number of times you can come back again.”

  Jenny could feel the blood pumping through the woman, the gush of the blood rushing through her heart. She could smell the life.

  “I don’t care about coming back,” she said. “I can die now.”

  “And if you die,” said Warnken, her voice taking on a crooning note, “who is going to save your sister?”

  Jenny loosed her grip on Warnken’s throat.

  “Where is she?” said Jenny.

  “I’ll let her go. But you have to do something for me.”

  “What?” Jenny let go, backed to the edge of the chair. “What the fuck do you want?”

  “Let us fix you,” said Warnken.

  “What?”

  “Hear me out, Jenny. There’s something gone wrong with you. The hallucinations?”

  “I’m not hallucinating,” said Jenny, staring past Warnken’ head to look at Casey shaking his head at her. She closed her eyes. “You’re not cutting me up.”

  “We will repair you, whether you like it or not. We want to see how far the technology will take you. It’s all research, Jenny. Whether you believe that or not, you are the future. Let us fix you so we can finish our work. You’ve been amazingly helpful in field testing, I must say. A most excellent research subject.”

  Jenny sneered. “Fuck your research. What’s wrong with me? Are you afraid I’m going crazy like Faron? Ruin all your good field testing?”

  “It’s a possibility.”

  “You’re not cutting me open,” said Jenny. “No one will ever touch me again with a scalpel.”

  Warnken brought her hand out from under the desk and the door burst open.

  “Oh, you buzzed them, didn’t you, you filthy old hag?”

  “Of course I did. Just go quietly, Jenny. And everyone you love will be free.”

  “You said it yourself,” said Jenny. “I eat the ones I love. You think you helped us. You think we’re your children. But you know what you really did?”

  Men in black jumpsuits filed in, surrounding the desk, weapons out.

  “What’s that?” said Warnken, calm and smug.

  “You turned us into animals,” said Jenny. “You turned us into monsters. And we’re going to rip every last one of you apart.”

  Jenny watched Warnken keep her calm face, but she could smell the fear. She was sweating under her silk blouse, inside her high heels.

  “This is for your own good, Jenny.”

  “No, this is for my own good,” said Jenny. And she was on top of Warnken, ripping her clothes away, getting the first taste of her blood. She had barely scratched Warnken when the bullets tore into her. The explosion seemed quieter this time. Easier. And she sank into the darkness gracefully. Hoping it was the last time. Hoping she wouldn’t wake up. But knowing she would.

  She always would.

  Forever.

  THIRTY-ONE

  “What’s going to happen when we grow up?” said Jenny, dangling her feet off the balcony. She looked down at the blue popsicle melting in the hot sun. The ants had already found it and were forming a line. She was watching them, interested. They had an army, but she could squash them one by one. They would keep coming, but she could keep squashing them.

  “What do you mean?” said Sarah, taking an identical blue popsicle out of her blue lips. She licked the sweetness away with a blue tongue. Their father had bought the popsicles as a bribe, to keep them out of the way until his lecture was over. Sarah rubbed at the back of her neck. Jenny knew her scars bothered her when it got hot and sticky.

  “I mean, what will we do? What will we be like?”

  Sarah seemed to consider this very seriously. She frowned and her forehead wrinkled. Jenny touched her own forehead and frowned, wondering if hers looked just the same. Sarah giggled at her.

  “I want to fall in love,” said Jenny.

  “Why?” said Sarah.

  Jenny shrugged. “Because that’s what happens when you grow up. You get a job and fall in love.”

  “Mother and Father aren’t in love,” said Sarah.

 
“Yes they are,” said Jenny. “They’re married.”

  “So?” Sarah looked down the three stories to the ground, putting her popsicle back in her mouth.

  “But you have to fall in love before you get married,” said Jenny. “It’s how it works.”

  “Not everyone is in love, Jenny.”

  Jenny crossed her arms. “You don’t know everything.”

  “Do you know why they don’t get us a babysitter?” said Sarah. “Do you know why they don’t put us in school?”

  “Because we learn more here,” said Jenny.

  “No,” said Sarah, and there was a sharpness in her voice that made Jenny stop arguing.

  “Then why?” Jenny said, her voice a tentative whisper. Sarah was very wise sometimes, but other times Jenny felt like she was making fun of her.

  “Because no one is supposed to know about us,” said Sarah. “No one is supposed to see the things they do to us. Do you think it’s really vitamins they give us every morning?”

  “It tastes like bubble gum,” said Jenny.

  “Vitamins don’t taste like bubble gum,” said Sarah. “Medicine does.”

  Jenny looked at her. Sarah pulled the last tiny chunk of blue ice from the popsicle stick and held the stained stick over the railing. A pigeon was hopping around on the sidewalk below.

  “Why are they giving us medicine?” said Jenny. “Are we sick?”

  “They’re making us sick so they can cut us.”

  Sarah dropped the stick and it fell next to the pigeon, startling it into flight. Sarah smiled.

  “You’re lying,” said Jenny. “You’re trying to scare me.”

  “You should be scared,” said Sarah, leaning over the railing. “But not of me. You should be afraid of them. They’re going to send me away again.”

  “Why?” said Jenny. “I don’t want you to go. I’ll be all alone.”

  “It’s because we ran away. They think I’m ruining everything. Plus they put something in me. In my head. And it’s not working.”

  “Why would they put something in your head?” said Jenny.

  “Because I got sick. And they wanted me to be better, but they also wanted to put other things in me.”

  “Like popsicles?”

  “No,” said Sarah, leaning too far over the balcony. “Not like popsicles. Like knives and spikes and worms.” She held out her arms, balancing her body precariously on the edge of the railing.