Proud Mary

by Bette McNicholas

  The conversations remained light and there were stories told that made everyone laugh, along with a few jokes. Stede handed her a key and Carolina excused herself, wrapped the remainder of her rib and the bone in a napkin and headed to the motor home to wash her hands and face.

  She gave King the food, filled his bowl with water and went into the motor home. When she came out, Stede was waiting for her.

  “I need to wash up, too,” he said. “Did you enjoy the dinner?”

  “Yes. The ribs were delicious, but I’m so full I feel like I should exercise for an hour.”

  After he washed up, he said, “Well, come on, we’re going dancin’, that’s exercise.”

  She took his hand and he led her back to the pavilion. The dance floor was crowded, not only with dancers but people milling around the stage where the queens were soon to be introduced. The good news was that the large crowd forced everyone to dance closer together.

  With her arms around his neck, and his hands riding her hips, they moved as one on the dance floor, dipping and swaying, their gaze locked on each other.

  Stede smiled and said, “I like the view of your dress from up here. Being tall has its privileges.”

  “I know you think being called incorrigible is a compliment,” she quipped, although the implied intimacy strummed her heartstrings, sending a thrill right down to her toes. She raised her head to assess his level of seriousness and in doing so invited his kiss.

  A deep sigh escaped her lips and he bent down and asked, “Did you say something?”

  She nodded slightly, stood on her tiptoes and whispered, “When you wrap me in your arms, I feel protected and free from harm. For the first time in my life I actually feel safe when I’m with you.”

  Not caring that they were in the middle of the dance floor, he enclosed her even tighter, lifted her slightly off the floor and kissed her until they could no longer breathe. When their lips parted, the couples around them had stood there watching and broke out in applause.

  Stede good-naturedly raised a hand in the air and waved, but Carolina wished the floor would open and swallow her whole; her cheeks felt as scorched as her lips.

  She tried to bolt but he wouldn’t let her go and they continued dancing, while she buried her face at the base of his neck. They danced until the band took a break and then they headed back to the trailers.

  “It’s almost nine o’clock,” he said, “tomorrow morning is the beginning of the rodeo. There will be a parade and Colors and the National Anthem, clowns and kids and balloons.”

  Carolina was ready to turn in and she knew he had to rest for the big day. “Thank you for another fun evening,” she said, reaching up to kiss him. “I hope you sleep well.”

  Stede smiled. “I doubt I’ll get much sleep,” he said, brushing her lips with a kiss of his own. He waited until she was safe inside and he and King went into his trailer.

  She leaned against the inside of the door and shook her head. She wished he didn’t have to leave. She knew she’d have trouble sleeping, too. Her entire body bore the imprint of his and she missed being wrapped in his arms. For all her skepticism regarding a relationship with him, she knew she’d fallen deeply in love and tried not to think about the stark fact that there could be no future for them.

  Her mind worked against her feelings of the heart until her insides were in turmoil and the more she attempted to catalogue attributes and pros and cons, and positives and negatives, the lower she felt her self-confidence recede.

  More than anything, her family background compared to his frightened her. They’d be in Dallas soon and she fretted about being around his family and having them ask about hers. Pride and shame haunted her all her life and limited the depth of her relationships out of fear of rejection when people found out about her past. What good could possibly come from meeting his parents? Parents who were already disappointed he hadn’t, in their opinion, married the perfect woman they had chosen.

  Most of the night she tossed and turned and fought with her past until she finally made the decision to find her mother and sister and come to terms with them, then return to Washington as soon as possible. She fell asleep and left dealing with her feelings for Stede for another time.

  ****

  The next morning came too soon, but Carolina was anxious for the day to begin and the rodeo to be over soon. She wanted to speed up their trip to Dallas and after she faced her mother and sister, she could get back to resuming her life and pursuing her goals and Stede could, too, sweet though this interlude had been.

  Every time she looked at him, she was reminded that she’d have to face the fact her plans didn’t include him even though she didn’t want to hurt him.

  She never intended to fall in love and having to tell him she planned to return to Washington, permanently, pained her deeply. She doubted she’d ever get over him and knew she’d always love him.

  Both Jenny and Manny were gone when she woke and Stede had left a rodeo ticket for her, taped to the microwave. Carolina took her time getting ready, not caring if she missed the parade or not. She was no longer in the mood, especially when she thought about the cowgirl groupies, that Jenny referred to as buckle bunnies, she saw hanging around the grounds on her way to the grandstand. She wondered which one of them might take her place in Stede’s heart after she was gone?

  To marry Stede and be left alone in Arizona while he traveled would never work for her. No matter how convinced she was that he loved her, she’d never be certain he might not bring another woman to his bed when he was on the road. She was too insecure.

  She didn’t have the luxury of grand amour propre to trust him to remain faithful because the temptation and the competition were too great for most people to handle. And that, she knew was not good for any relationship.

  Everything she ever heard or read about a cowboy reminded her they were often loners, loved their freedom, and were considered drifters. They took life as they found it, and didn’t let everyday things get in their way. If they had problems or issues, they withdrew and dealt with them on their own, that is if you didn’t take into account a horse or a dog and a bottle of whiskey.

  Most of them were lean and tall, like Stede, lived in their jeans, worked hard and played harder. She carried too many layers of rejection and hurt feelings already, to handle a cheating heart. She couldn’t cope with the heartbreak and she knew she’d be condemning their marriage to failure if she tried to confine him to staying home. He loved his independence and then there was always the fear he’d be seriously injured…

  When she took her seat in the grandstand Jenny asked, “Are you all right, Carolina?”

  She nodded. “I’m tired, that’s all. I didn’t sleep well.”

  “You arrived in time to see the qualifying round of the team bronc.”

  Carolina lifted the binoculars and focused on the number of the chute where Jenny told her to look. The gate opened and there seemed to be nothing but chaos as the team held the horse, while Stede saddled and mounted him and fought hard with all his strength to stay on long enough to reach the imaginary finish line.

  There was a lot of noise and cheering for all the teams that competed. The Foster Ranch Team came in second in scoring points for this event. Carolina’s heart was in her mouth, as the saying went, the entire time.

  She and Jenny watched the men compete in the calf and steer roping competition and she learned about Heading, Heeling and Bulldogging, and also learned to appreciate what great horsemanship was required to compete, not to mention the athletic ability of the men and animals.

  One of the cowboys entered in the calf roping competition failed to get his loop around the calf’s neck in the allotted time, which meant, according to Jenny, it would now be impossible for him to place in the event.

  Everyone watched as the rider pulled back violently hard in anger on the rope and caused the calf’s head to flip backward and the animal fell to the ground. The crowd stood, making disturbed sounds, then hus
hed and waited. Certain the man had broken the little calf’s neck, Carolina held her hand over her mouth.

  The cowboy dismounted and rushed to tie its legs together, but Stede and some of the rodeo officials surrounded the small animal to keep the children attending from becoming overly upset, but you could hear some of the children as well as adults crying in the stands.

  Carolina sat back down and looked at Jenny. “Is the calf dead?”

  “I don’t know. They’re bringing out a cart now to remove the animal from the arena,” she said, pointing.

  The officials on the address system tried to assure everyone, especially the young children, that the calf was going to be all right, and that the veterinarian would attend to him. The silence in the grandstand became deafening.

  Whispering, Carolina asked, “Will they do anything to that cowboy?”

  Jenny nodded. “Yes, he’ll be fined, maybe suspended for a while, and if the calf dies, he may lose his standings and license. A lot will depend on whether or not he’s had other infractions. Believe me, this doesn’t happen often, and this was blatant.”

  Jenny stood. “Come on, follow me. We’ll go see what’s happening. I know where to find Stede.”

  All Carolina knew at this point was how dangerous this sport was, not only for the riders, but also the animals. She felt sick to her stomach, but fortunately hadn’t bothered to eat before coming to the arena.

  When she and Jenny approached the tent covered corral that was used to treat injured animals, Stede’s voice could be heard loud and clear. He had that cowboy by the front of his collar and ordered him out of there. “You’re lucky the calf is going to be all right. I hope to God you’re suspended for a long time and I hope, for your sake, I never to run into you again at any rodeo where I’m competing. Is that clear?”

  The cowboy gestured with his hands, perhaps trying to apologize, but Stede turned his back on him. The cowboy threw his hands in the air and walked away, kicking gravel.

  Jenny called to Stede to ask if he needed any help with the calf. He said, no, but thanked her for offering. He went back in the corral to take care of the calf that now struggled to stand. She and Jenny waited until Stede finished, and when he came he put his arms around both of them. “I’m sorry you had to see that. That kind of anger and abuse shown to an animal irritates me to the bone. Maybe one in about two thousand animals gets injured each year, but that was a deliberate act of vengeance on an innocent calf. I have to go wash up—you ladies want to get us a table and we’ll meet you for lunch.”

  They nodded, and Stede kissed them both on the forehead and headed toward the trailer.

  ****

  After lunch, Carolina and Jenny went back to the stands and watched the first round competition for Saddle Bronc Riding. Carolina kept her eyes shut during Stede’s short eight-second ride, holding her breath and praying with every fiber of her being until Jenny nudged her to let her know he finished.

  Everyone tried to assure her that many safety precautions were taken not only for the rider, but also for the animal. But in this event, the animal seemed to be the winner most of the time. More riders limped out of the arena than walked.

  Chapter Fourteen

  By the end of the next day, Carolina had settled down from the emotional war she fought with herself and also from the experience of seeing the rougher side of the rodeo. And for the most part she had made an effort to attempt to relax and enjoy the competition. They were leaving for Dallas before noon the next day and she looked forward to sleeping in a real bed.

  Besides Sunday brunch, she and Jenny enjoyed having popcorn, drinking sodas and even eating foot-long hotdogs smothered with onions and mustard. The vendors at the stadium continually cooked food and they found the aromas hard to resist. Carolina laughed when she thought she had been making up for all the carnivals and rodeos she never attended as a child.

  Stede surprised them by showing up in the stands to visit for a few minutes. When Carolina looked at him, she smiled, wondering how any woman could possibly resist him. “What a wonderful outfit; you look handsome.”

  “These are my sponsors,” he said, pointing to the word Stetson embroidered on his hatband. Each letter in the word Wrangler was embroidered down one of the sleeves on his shirt, and a Budweiser insignia was stitched on the collar of his two-toned gray shirt with black piping and snaps.

  “Why didn’t you wear that yesterday?”

  “Because I wouldn’t have been able to have everything cleaned by today. There’s an art to starching these Wranglers, you know,” he said, winking. “Anyway, I came for a good luck kiss; I have to go. Only the top twelve will go to the finals at the end of the day and I plan to be one of them.”

  She watched him put on his leather gloves and stood to give him a kiss. “Good luck…”

  He didn’t give her a chance to finish her sentence or even a quick kiss like she expected, but instead kissed her as though he was going off to war. The crowd around them cheered and whistled; once again making her cheeks turn hot. She put the back of her hand against her face and felt the heat, and quickly sat down again.

  By the time Stede’s number was called, Carolina had some idea what to expect and Jenny continued to keep her informed about his progress and patiently answered all her questions. This event was considered second only in difficulty to bull riding.

  When she saw Stede getting prepared inside the chute, she turned to Jenny and asked, “Why doesn’t he wear protective gear like most of the other men, something besides the chaps?”

  “A lot of the cowboys wear helmets and vests to protect their heads and chests, especially the bull riders, but most wear mouth pieces and a cushion around the back of their neck. I’m sure Stede has both of them. Also, the men who have previously suffered serious injuries usually wear all the other gear. They can’t afford to reinjure some of those bones.”

  The chute opened abruptly and a broad and square-shouldered bronc bucked out of the gate while Stede concentrated on staying seated for the eight-second ride. He had to synchronize his spurring actions with the horse’s bucking, keeping his feet over the animal’s shoulders and his free arm above his head the entire time.

  The ride ended before Carolina knew what had happened or if Stede had even met any of the requirements for a great ride. He was third in this event before this ride. The announcers’ voices were raised in excitement as they shouted over the loud speakers and she knew he had done well this time. Carolina squeezed Jenny’s hand while they waited for the judges’ score to be announced. Loud cheers erupted with the good news that Stede was now in first place and his score was the one to beat in the finals.

  The man seated behind Carolina, said, “That must have been some kiss you gave him, lady,” and everyone around them laughed.

  The afternoon dragged on, and Carolina and Jenny walked around the grounds, went back to the motor home for a while and checked on King before heading back to watch the finals; neither of them was able to hide how excited and anxious they felt.

  The saddle bronc was next to the last event of the afternoon and she and Jenny laughed about how all of them would have to work out a schedule taking showers. Finally, the two of them agreed to leave before the bull riding competition was finished. They’d hurry to take their showers before the men returned to wash off all their dirt and grime.

  “Then we can sit outside and read and chat while we wait for them to get ready,” Jenny offered.

  “Stede mentioned going into town to eat tonight; is that what all of you are planning.”

  “Yes, I get rodeoed out after a couple of days on the road and eating concessionaire food on the circuit. We’ll want to get to bed early tonight. In the morning we all pitch in to clean the trailers and pack in order to head for Dallas as early as possible if we want to arrive before dark.”

  When the time came for the final competition, Carolina watched Stede perform with a little more knowledge than before and knew he had scored high. His horse buck
ed the second the chute opened and moved from left to right and back again. How he stayed in the saddle, she had no idea. But the cheers at the end of eight seconds, when he dismounted, were raucous.

  There were only a couple of riders left in the competition at this point and she tried her best to watch for the specific things the judges scored to see if she could determine if the next rider was as good as Stede. But she didn’t have to worry because he won the competition and The Foster Ranch Team seemed certain to take home a decent salary for the weekend’s work. Manny and Jamie took the buckle in the team roping competition finals, as well.

  Jenny insisted they stay and watch some of the Bull Riding event. For the most part the rider also had to stay on the bull for eight seconds. The rules for not touching the animal or equipment with the free hand were the same as the saddle bronc competition.

  The bull not only has a rider on its back, but also has a rope around its belly with a heavy bell hanging on it. The noise the bell makes spurs the bull’s anger and causes the animal to buck continually.

  Most of the bull riders wore equipment to protect themselves from injury. Carolina remarked that she understood why Stede didn’t enter that competition. “Not only does this appear to be more dangerous, but the riders are stockier and shorter built and look more like wrestlers, rather than tall and lean like Stede and Chance.”

  “That’s true. See, you learned a lot about the rodeo. Now’s a good time to go get dressed,” Jenny suggested. “The men will have to stay while the prizes are awarded and Chance and the men will have to make sure the animals are all returned and in the corral.”

  By the time the animals had been taken care of and all the men had showered and dressed, using both the motor home and trailer showers, they didn’t arrive at the restaurant until nine o’clock. That squelched their chances for getting to bed early, Carolina thought.

  The men received a round of applause when they entered the restaurant from rodeo members and enthusiasts, and several people stopped by the table to congratulate them in person and some children gathered around them for autographs.