Getting the Important Things Right

by Padgett Gerler

  Well, I thought I had seen shit hit the fan before, but Colonel Tom increased the shit-hitting decibel to a level I didn’t know existed. He was furious! He screamed and ranted and raved and called Percy and Vickie every degrading name in the book. His face turned red, the vein popped out on the side of his forehead, and the sweat poured down his face and soaked his shirt.

  As usual, Percy just sat with his clenched fists between his knees and his head bowed. On the other hand, Vickie stared Colonel Tom directly in the eye and didn’t flinch. I liked Percy’s little majorette. She was a cool customer.

  When Colonel Tom was drenched in sweat and spent from his tirade, he bellowed, “And don’t be expecting me to attend any sham of a wedding!”

  And, with that, Percy stood, took Vickie’s hand, and guided her toward the door, stopping just long enough to say, “Colonel Tom, I don’t recall inviting you to our wedding.”

  Once Percy and Vickie closed the door behind themselves, there was an eerie calm in the room, a deathly silence. Then there came a knock on the door. Colonel Tom opened it and found Vickie standing there alone.

  She stepped inside and said, “Mr. Albemarle…”

  To which The Colonel bellowed, “Call me Colonel Tom!”

  Vickie began again: “Mr. Albemarle, Percy and I have made a mistake, but we are trying to make it right. We are going to have a child. We don’t know the first thing about raising a child, but we’re going to do the best we can. We think that the first step is marriage. If you choose not to support us, we’ll have to accept that. But don’t you ever call me a dumb shit again!”

  Then Vickie turned her back on my father and walked out the door.

  I was bracing for another of Colonel Tom’s explosions when he turned to face us.

  He was smiling.

  Fifteen

  Once Percy and Vickie had told The Colonel and Ma’am of their pregnancy, Vickie said, “Now I have to tell my mother.”

  They were going to drive the thirty miles to Vickie’s home, and they invited me to go along with them. After I had witnessed the explosion from The Colonel, I figured the parents-to-be wanted me as a buffer between them and Vickie’s mom.

  As we approached the little white-washed country house by a gravel drive, the bright red front door opened and out stepped a large woman wearing a purple flowered housedress, drying her hands on her apron.

  Mamie Worsham was an only child who loved babies. When she was a little girl, she dreamed of marrying a nice man like her daddy and having a house full of children. As she approached thirty with no prospects of finding a nice man like her daddy, she decided she needed to come up with another plan.

  She knew that there were lots of children who needed homes and needed her love, and she planned to find them. That’s when she came upon the foster care system.

  Vickie was a surly seven-year old when she became Mamie’s first foster child. When Vickie’s birth mother found herself pregnant at sixteen, she told the baby’s father. He disappeared. When she told her parents that she was pregnant, they turned their backs on her. Though she tried, she soon found that raising a baby alone without a home, a job, or an education was impossible. There were many who wanted to adopt her beautiful little girl, but she just couldn’t bring herself to sign the papers and lose her baby forever. That’s how Vickie became a ward of the foster care system.

  She had been shuttled through nine foster homes by the time she arrived at Mamie’s house. She was so accustomed to loving and losing families, that she had just decided to stop loving. Mamie understood, and she gave Vickie all the time and all the space she needed. And Mamie’s method of mothering worked. Vickie flourished under Mamie’s care, becoming an outgoing child and a straight-A student. Mamie had cared for nineteen foster children over the years; many came and went, but Vickie was the only child who stayed. Vickie saw her birth mother often and she loved her, but Mamie was the one Vickie called Mama. And when Vickie was fifteen years old and lost her birth mother in an automobile accident, it was her real mother, Mamie, who comforted her in her grief.

  Vickie earned an academic scholarship to Middleburg College, and you know the rest of that story.

  When Mamie saw Vickie emerge from the car, her arms flung open, and she smiled so wide that her eyes just disappeared into her doughy face. Vickie left us at the car as she ran ahead to her mother’s open arms.

  When we caught up with her, Vickie said, “Mama, I want you to meet Percy Albemarle and his sister, Sis. Percy, Sis, this is my mom, Mamie Worsham.”

  Percy reached her first and extended his hand for a shake, but Mamie was having none of that.

  She grabbed Percy’s hand, pulled him forward, and folded him in her ample arms, saying, “Welcome, Percy. Thank you for bringing my baby home.”

  Since Percy and I didn’t come from a touchy family, we just weren’t used to getting bear hugs. The closest Colonel Tom ever came to hugging us was a firm choke-hold on our necks and a promise to shake a knot in us if we didn’t straighten up and fly right.

  And if we got too close to Ma’am, she’d say, “No, no, Darlin’, Ma’am’s got new hair,” or “Don’t smudge Ma’am’s lipstick,” or “If you children get any of that Twinkie goop on this dress, you’ll be sorry!”

  I have no idea what we’d have been sorry about because we never got close enough to Ma’am’s dress to find out.

  Percy seemed a little uncomfortable in Mamie’s embrace and looked relieved when it was over. I knew I was next. I felt kind of like you get before you ride a roller coaster—scared, but anxious to get on with it and see what it’s like.

  Being in Mamie’s arms was like being comforted by a huge bed pillow that smelled like vanilla. I realized as she held me that all of my life I had been missing something I didn’t even know existed. I stayed in her embrace somewhat longer than was comfortable for everyone, but I didn’t care. When I showed no signs of leaving her hug, Mamie eased me away, looked me in the face, smiled that eye-disappearing smile, and said, “You’re a cuddly one, aren’t you?”

  She herded us all into her cozy house and said, “Okay, spill it. What’s with the surprise visit?”

  And, without hesitation, Vickie said, “Mom, Percy and I are going to have a baby.”

  I braced for the fireworks.

  Then Mamie said, “My baby is going to be a mother. We’re going to have a little one to love. Oh, we are all so blessed.”

  Of course, the lectures and advice would come in time, but, for now, Mamie just wrapped the new parents in her love and offered her congratulations.

  Vickie told Mamie that The Colonel and Ma’am would not be participating in their wedding, so she and Percy had decided to go down to City Hall in Waynesville. She wanted to know if Mamie could give her away.

  Mamie had just two foster kids at that time, both of them in wheelchairs. She said that there was just no way that she could get them to the city, and there was no one who could take care of them in her absence.

  Then she said, “How about getting married right here? It’s not fancy, but it’s fancier than City Hall. And I’m certain Pastor Newsome would be delighted to perform the ceremony.”

  Vickie jumped up and hugged her mother and said, “Thank you, Mama! Now let’s go get my dress.”

  Vickie’s sudden desire to go shopping surprised me, but I didn’t understand what she meant. You see, Mamie made wedding dresses for a living. She had started her sewing business so she could stay home and take care of her foster children. She was such an excellent seamstress that more and more people began requesting more and more elaborate clothing. Soon she was making nothing but cotillion, wedding, and debutante dresses. Vickie had seen the wedding dress she wanted when she was fifteen years old, so Mamie had made it for her then and had kept it until now.

  Mamie led us to a back room where she had about eight dresses in various stages of completion hanging on racks. They were exquisite, with huge gathered skirts, big puffed sleeves, and lots and lots of beadin
g. I couldn’t wait to see which one was Vickie’s.

  Then Mamie reached into a closet and pulled out a flat garment bag. She unzipped it and took out the most elegant dress I had ever seen. It was a simple white raw silk sheath, cut high in the front and scooped low to the waist in the back. Think sophisticated. Think Audrey Hepburn. It put those other dresses to shame, making them seem almost clownish.

  Without thinking, I said, “Will you please make me a dress like this when I get married?”

  Everyone laughed at my brashness and made me blush, but Mamie gave me a hug and promised she would.

  Percy and Vickie said they’d head to town, get their marriage license, and be back in three weeks to be married. Mamie said to leave the wedding details to her.

  As Vickie hugged her mother, I hung back, wanting to be the last to get a vanilla-pillow hug. When Mamie took me in her arms, she held me a little extra long and rubbed my back very gently.

  When we separated, Mamie looked me in the eye and said, “Come back soon and often, Sis. We can do this some more.”

  Sixteen

  Percy wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He didn’t know how to take care of a wife and child, but he figured he’d better learn real quick. He knew he had to find a job and a place for his family to live, but until he was able to put all the pieces together, he and Vickie went back to school and stayed in their separate dorms.

  The morning after Percy and Vickie broke their news to our parents and Vickie’s Mom, Percy drove from the Middleburg campus to Waynesville. He was planning to go talk to Mr. Peterson at his garage. Percy’s only job had been fixing bikes, so he thought a visit to Mr. Peterson’s was the wise place to start. He was hoping he would give him his part-time job back, and if he could find another part-time job, he figured he could support his family.

  Mr. Peterson was tinkering with a bike when Percy walked in. He threw down his tools and met Percy with a fatherly embrace.

  “Man, it’s good to see you, Percy. I’ve missed you around here. Customers ask for you all the time.”

  “Well, Mr. Peterson, you may be seeing lots more of me, if you’ll have me back. I’m getting married in a couple of weeks, and I’m going to be a father soon. I sure would appreciate it if you’d give me my job back.”

  Mr. Peterson said, “Now, Percy, I just can’t be putting up with this part-time stuff, working your hours to suit your schedule. If you can’t be giving me a forty-hour week, I just won’t be able to use you.”

  Percy could see right through his old friend. He knew that Mr. Peterson didn’t need a full-time worker, but Mr. Peterson knew that Percy needed a full-time job.

  Percy said, “Are you sure, Mr. Peterson?”

  And he said, “Damn straight, Percy. It’s all or nothing, Son. I’m not getting any younger, and I’d like to slow it down a bit, take a little time off. I’m going to need to know that I can depend on you if you come back.”

  Percy grabbed his hand and pumped it vigorously. “I won’t disappoint you, Mr. Peterson. I’ll give you forty hours and then some. By the way, is the apartment taken? I’d like to rent it if it’s available.”

  “That’s part of the job, Son. I’ll give you the apartment rent free if you’ll just live there and keep an eye on the place after hours.”

  Percy said he nearly broke down in tears. He knew that his new life wasn’t going to be easy, but Mr. Peterson’s offer went a long way toward calming his fears.

  Percy couldn’t wait to get back to Middleburg to tell Vickie the good news.

  “Waynesville? What do you mean Waynesville? I thought you were going to get a job in Middleburg. If you think I’m quitting school, you’ve got another think coming. I’ve got a four-year scholarship, and I’m not throwing it away. I’m getting my degree, Percy! I know we’re going to have a baby, and it’s not going to be easy. I’ll get a part-time job, if I have to. I’ll figure a way, but I will not be giving up school. So don’t you even try to talk me out of it.”

  Percy couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Every time Vickie took a breath, he’d try to jump in, but she’d talk over him and get louder and louder. So he just let her talk herself out before he told her his plan.

  “Vickie, I haven’t asked you to quit school. I’d never do that. I know how important your degree is to you, and I know you can’t do your social work without your degree.”

  “But, Percy, I can’t attend Middleburg from Waynesville. It’s fourteen miles away, and I don’t even have a car. Are you expecting me to walk? Maybe hitchhike?”

  “Now, Vickie, if you’ll just let me finish talking without erupting again, I think we can work this out.”

  “Well, you’d better, Percy, cause this just isn’t…”

  Percy held up his hand and said, “Just let me tell you my plan, and then you can tell me if you think it’ll work. Vickie, I not only got a full-time job, I got an apartment, free of charge!”

  “What?”

  “That’s right. Mr. Peterson has offered me my old job at the garage—only full time—and he’s throwing in the apartment if I’ll agree to live up over the garage and keep an eye on the place while he’s not there. Now, it’s not fancy, but it’s got all we need for now, and Vickie, it’s free! Did I say that already? Well, it’s worth saying again. It’s free! And since I’ll be thirty seconds from work, I won’t need a car. You can have mine to drive to classes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Like I said, Vickie, the place isn’t fancy, but it’s furnished, except for baby stuff, of course. It has one bedroom and another little room about the size of a walk-in closet. But it’ll be big enough for a baby bed. Of course, there’s a bathroom, and there’s a living room with an area off to one side with the stove and sink and stuff. Do you think that will work for us?

  “It sounds perfect, Percy.”

  “And another thing, Vickie: I won’t be making a huge salary, but without rent to pay, I think we can make it just fine with one job. Don’t you even think about getting a job. You just concentrate on your school work. Now, you might have to take some night classes so we can take turns taking care of the baby, but we’ll figure that all out when the time comes.”

  Vickie put her arms around Percy’s neck, put her head on his shoulder, and started crying. “Percy, I’ve just been so scared. This isn’t the way I planned my life, and I just didn’t know what we were going to do. You’ve done some pretty goofy stuff, and I wasn’t sure how you were going to handle this. I think you’re going to handle it just fine. I’m sorry if I doubted you.”

  Percy laughed and said, “You had every reason to doubt me, Vickie. I’ve doubted myself. This isn’t the way I planned my life either; in fact, I didn’t even have a plan past this afternoon. But I understand that I have a responsibility to you and our child. I will take it very seriously. I promise I’ll do my best, and I hope I won’t let you down.”

  Vickie told me that she fell in love with Percy that day.

  She said, “Now, he can still do silly, immature things, but that day he grew from a boy to a man right before my eyes. I was still scared—and so was Percy—but I no longer doubted that I could depend on him. I knew he’d do whatever it took to take care of our baby and me.”

  Seventeen

  The Colonel had forbidden me to take part in the sham that was to be Percy and Vickie’s wedding. But Percy had asked me to be his best man, and there was no way I was going to squander that opportunity. I figured it would, most likely, be my last chance to serve as someone’s best man. And, of course, I couldn’t miss my best friend’s wedding.

  When the day came, I told Ma’am and The Colonel that I was going over to Suzanne’s, just as I did most Saturdays. They didn’t question me, and I sped off on my bike in the direction of her house, only to cut over to Percy and Vickie’s apartment when I was about a block from home. The Colonel would have my hide if he knew what I was up to, but there was no chance of my getting caught. By mid-afternoon Colonel Tom and
Ma’am would be in their own little cloudy world, so I could stay away all day and they’d never miss me.

  I wore jeans and sneakers with a University sweatshirt, my standard weekend attire. I wanted to dress nicer for the wedding, but I didn’t want to risk raising my parents’ suspicions.

  When I got to Percy and Vickie’s, they were ready to go and were just waiting for me. I apologized for the jeans, but Vickie assured me that I wasn’t causing a social faux pas and that jeans were perfect best-man attire. Vickie and Percy were still in their casual clothes but planned to change into their wedding finery once we got to Mamie’s.

  About forty-five minutes later we pulled into Mamie’s yard to find her standing on the porch, waiting for us. She was wearing the same lavender flowered house dress she had worn the first time I had met her, washed and newly-pressed, and paired with highly polished white lace-up shoes. She had taken off her apron for the occasion. She gave wonderful hugs all around and ushered us into the living room, the site of the ceremony.

  It was as beautiful as any wedding chapel. There were garlands of wildflowers suspended from the ceiling and bouquets of wildflowers on tables. Mamie had covered her threadbare furniture with delicate white doilies, and soft classical music was playing on her old record player.

  Then Mamie said, “Okay, time to get all pretty. Percy, you go on in my bedroom and change your clothes. Sis, come on back in my sewing room and help me with the bride.”

  When we got to the sewing room, I saw that Mamie had already taken Vickie’s dress out of the closet and had laid out a string of pearls, a lace hankie, and a pair of white satin pumps. I was so ashamed of my jeans and had turned to apologize to Mamie, when I saw that she was holding a mint green silk dress, the same style as Vickie’s, only knee length.