The Travelling Companions: A Story in Scenes
Page 15
CHAPTER XIV.
+Miss Banquo.+
SCENE--_Gardens belonging to the Hotel du Parc, Lugano. Time, afternoon;the orchestra is turning up in a kiosk._ CULCHARD _is seated on a benchin the shade, keeping an anxious eye upon the opposite door_.
CULCH. (_to himself_). She said she had a headache, and made her fatherand Van Boodeler go out on the lake without her. But she certainly gaveme to understand that she might come out when the band played, if shefelt better. The question is, whether she _means_ to feel better or not.She is the most tantalizing girl! _I_ don't know what to make of her.Not a single reference, as yet, to that last talk we had at Bingen. Imust see if I can't recall it to her memory--if she comes. I'll waithere, on the chance of it--we are not likely to be dis----. Confound itall--Podbury! (_with suppressed irritation as_ PODBURY _comes up_).Well, do you _want_ anything in particular?
PODB. (_cheerfully, as he sits down_). Only the pleasure of yoursociety, old chap. How nicely you do put things!
CULCH. The--er--fact is, I can't promise to be a particularly livelycompanion just now.
PODB. Not by way of a change? Ah, well, it's a pity--but I must put upwith you as you are, I suppose. You see--(_with a grin_)--I've got thatvow to work out.
CULCH. Possibly--but _I_ haven't. As I've already told you--I retire.
PODB. Wobbled back to Miss Trotter again, eh? Matter of taste, ofcourse, but, for my part, I think your _first_ impression of her wasnearer the truth--she's not what I call a highly cultivated sort ofgirl, y' know.
CULCH. You are naturally exacting on that point, but have the goodnessto leave my first impressions alone, and--er--frankly, Podbury, I see nonecessity (_now_, at all events) to take that ridiculous--hum--penance_too_ literally. We are _travelling_ together, and I imagine that isenough for Miss Prendergast.
PODB. It's enough for _me_--especially when you make yourself so doosidamiable as this. You needn't alarm yourself--you won't have any more ofmy company than I can help; only I _must_ say, for two fellows who cameout to do a tour _together_, it's---- [_Walks away, grumbling._
_Later. The band has finished playing_; MISS TROTTER _is on the benchwith_ CULCHARD.
MISS T. And you mean to tell me you've never met anybody since you evencared to converse with?
CULCH. (_diplomatically_). Does that strike you as so very incredible?
MISS T. Well, it strikes me as just a _little_ too thin. I judged you'dgo away, and forget I ever existed.
CULCH. (_with tender reproach_). How little you know me! I may not bean--er--demonstrative man, my--er--feelings are not easily roused, but,once roused, well--(_wounded_)--I think I may claim to possess anordinary degree of constancy!
MISS T. Well, I'm sure I _ought_ to feel it a vurry high compliment tohave you going round grieving all this time on _my_ account.
CULCH. Grieving! Ah, if I could only _tell_ you what I went through!(_Decides, on reflection, that the less he says about this the better._)But all that is past. And now may I not expect a more definite answer tothe question I asked at Bingen? Your reply then was--well, a littleambiguous.
MISS T. I guess it's got to be just about as ambiguous now--there don'tseem anything I _can_ say. There's times when I feel as if it might besort of elevating and improving to have you shining around; and there'sother times when I suspect that, if it went on for any considerableperiod, likely I'd weaken. I'm not just sure. And I cann't ever makemyself believe but what you're disapproving of me, inside of you, mostall the time!
CULCH. Pray dismiss such--er--morbid misgivings, dear Miss Trotter. Showthat you do so by accepting me as your guide and companion through life!
"HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW ME."]
MISS T. My! but that sounds like a proposal?
CULCH. I intended it to bear that--er--construction. It _is_ aproposal--made after the fullest reflection.
MISS T. I'm ever so obliged. But we don't fix things quite that way inmy country. We want to feel pretty sure, first, we shann't get left. Andit don't seem to me as if I'd had opportunities enough of studying yourleading characteristics. I'll have to study them some more before I knowwhereabouts I am; and I want you to understand that I'm not going tocommit myself to anything at present. That mayn't be sentiment, but Iguess it's common-sense, anyway. And all _you_'ve got to do is, just tokeep around, and kind of impress me with a conviction that you're thevurry brightest and best man in the entire universe, and I don't believeyou'll find much difficulty about _that_. And now I guess we'll go into_table d'hote_--I'm just as _ravenous_!
CULCH. (_to himself, as he follows her_). Really, this is not muchbetter than Ruskin, after all. But I don't despair. That last remark wasdistinctly encouraging!
SCENE--_A large Salle a Manger, decorated in the Pompeian style. Tabled'hote has begun._ CULCHARD _is seated between_ MISS TROTTER _and alarge and conversational stranger. Opposite are three empty chairs._
CULCHARD'S NEIGHBOUR. Then you're going on to Venice? Well, you take_my_ advice. When you get there, you ask for tunny. Don'tforget--_tunny_!
CULCH. (_who wants to talk to_ MISS T.). Tunny? Thank you. I--er--willcertainly remember his name, if I require a guide.
HIS N. A guide? No, no--tunny's a _fish_, Sir, a coarse red fish, withflesh like a raw beefsteak.
CULCH. Is that so? Then I will make a point of asking for it--if I wantraw beefsteak. [_Attempts to turn to_ MISS T.
HIS N. That's what _I_ did when I was at Venice. I sent for the Manager.He came. I said to him, "Look here, I'm an Englishman. My name'sBellerby. (CULCHARD _bows in patient boredom_.) I've heard of yourVenetian tunny. I wish to taste it. _Bring_ me some!"
CULCH. (_crushingly_). A most excellent method of obtaining it, nodoubt. (_To_ WAITER.) _Numero vingt-sept, demi bouteille de Chianti, etsiphon!_
HIS N. You don't wait till I've _done_, Sir! I _didn't_ obtain it--notat first. The man made excuses. I was prepared for _that_. I told himplainly, "I know what _you_'re thinking--it's a cheap fish, and youfancy I'm ordering it out of economy!"
CULCH. (_raising his eyebrows for_ MISS T.'S _benefit_). Of course, henaturally _would_ think so. And _that_ is how you got your tunny? I see.
[MR. BELLERBY _stares at him suspiciously, and decides to suppress theremainder of his tunny._
MISS T. This hotel seems to be thinning some. We've three ghosts rightin front of us this evening.
CULCH. (_turning with effusion_). So we have! My friend is one, andhe'll be here presently, but I much prefer myself to see every seatoccupied. There is something so depressing about a vacant chair, don'tyou think?
MISS T. It's calculated to put one in mind of _Macbeth's_ littledinner-party, certainly. But you can cheer up, Mr. Culchard, here comesa couple of belated _Banquos_. My gracious, I _do_ like that girl'sface--she has such a perfectly lovely expression, and looks realsuperior too!
CULCH. (_who has just dropped his glasses into his soup_). I--ah--whichlady are you referring to? (_He cleans and adjusts his glasses--todiscover that he is face to face with_ MISS HYPATIA PRENDERGAST.) Oh ...I--I see--precisely, quite so! (_He turns to_ BELLERBY _to cover hisconfusion and avoid meeting_ MISS PRENDERGAST'S _eye_.) I _beg_ yourpardon, you were describing how you caught a tunny? Pray continue.
MR. BELLERBY (_stiffly_). Excuse me, I don't seem fortunate enough tohave secured your undivided attention.
CULCH. (_with intense interest_). Quite the contrary, I assure you! Youwere saying you always ordered it out of economy?
MR. B. Pardon _me_--I was saying nothing of the sort. I was saying thatI told the Manager I knew that was why he _thought_ I ordered it--arather different thing! "You're quite wrong," I said. "You may paytwopence-halfpenny a pound for it, and charge me half-a-crown, if youlike, but I mean to _taste_ that tunny!" I was determined not to be doneout of my tunny, Sir!
CULCH. (_breathlessly_). And what did the tunny--I mean the Manager--sayto _that_?
MR. B. Oh, made more difficulties--it wasn't to be got, and so on. Atlast I said to him (very quie
tly, but he saw I was in earnest), "Now Itell you what it _is_--I'm going to _have_ that tunny, and, if yourefuse to give it me,--well, I shall just send my courier _out_ for it,that's all!" So, with _that_, they brought me some--and anything moredelicious I never tasted in all my life!
CULCH. (_to himself_). If I can only keep him on at this tunny!(_Aloud._) And--er--what _does_ it taste like exactly, now?
MR. B. (_pregnantly._) You _order_ it, Sir--_insist_ on having it. Thenyou'll _know_ what it tastes like! [_He devotes himself to his soup._
CULCH. (_with his eyes lowered--to himself._) I _must_ look up inanother _minute_--and then! [_He shivers._