by Tina Beckett
Until it was done.
Over.
Tiny ripples still quaking his center, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down against him, careful to remain connected. He just needed a few more seconds. A few more whispers of sensation.
Her head nestled in the crook of his neck as he waited for the waves to carry him back to the shore. It wasn’t all at once. They pushed him forward and then dragged him back for what seemed like forever, their breath mingling, her hair tickling his chest.
He kissed her cheek.
Tonight was something he would never forget. Would never forget her.
Ever.
There was something final about that word. Something that tugged at a place inside him that was long forgotten. Or was it just buried too deep to be found?
Whatever it was, he was changed.
Marked.
With that realization came a niggle of fear. They were in a hotel room that didn’t belong to them, doing something they—
What was he doing here?
He firmed his jaw. Nothing they both hadn’t wanted.
She hadn’t asked for forever. Hadn’t even hinted at it. Which was good.
Wasn’t it?
He had no idea.
Maddy shifted for a second, and he thought she was going to pull away and get dressed. He wasn’t quite ready for that yet. Wanted a few more seconds to figure this out.
“Don’t leave.”
She sat up to look at him. “I wasn’t going to. My legs are just going to sleep.”
He smiled. “We can’t have that, can we?”
Moving to the center of the bed, he pulled down the covers and motioned for her. “Lie with me. Just for a few minutes.”
A few minutes turned into a few hours of watching her sleep. For real this time. Without fighting it. And then unable to do anything else, he blanked everything out except for the feel of her warmth against him, the soft steady sound of her breathing.
Almost paradise?
The song had it so very wrong.
She was paradise. And now that he’d had a taste of it, he wasn’t sure he could let it go. No one else would ever come close to where this woman had taken him tonight.
And he didn’t want them to.
All he wanted was her.
It scared the hell out of him, but there was absolutely nothing he could do to change it. And he wasn’t sure he would, even if he could.
He could worry about that tomorrow. But for the next couple of hours he was going to enjoy having her close, because who knew better than he did that tomorrow wasn’t promised? Not to him. Not to Maddy.
Not to anyone.
* * *
Maddy opened her eyes and found darkness. But there was sound.
Something.
A ringtone. But it wasn’t hers. It was unfamiliar.
A spot of light appeared, and then a low masculine voice abruptly cut the sound off, speaking into the phone.
Then another one went off, one she recognized this time, and a frisson of fear woke her up the rest of the way. She remembered exactly where she was. Who she was with. And what that call might be about. There was no way both of their phones could go off at once, unless...
Ivy!
Stumbling through the darkness, she searched for her phone just as Theo belted out, “When?”
She found hers. “Hello?”
“Madison, this is Naomi. Ivy has taken a turn. We’re trying to locate Theo, but so far no luck. You wouldn’t happen to know where...” A pause was followed by “What?” to someone nearby. Then her friend came back on the line. “Okay, Dr. Sumner has found him. Sorry to bother you. But do you think you could come in? I know it’s late.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Theo grabbing for his clothes, his muscles flashing in the low light of her phone.
“Of course. What’s going on?”
“Ivy woke up crying.” Naomi’s swift indrawn breath told her this was about something far worse than a simple nightmare or bellyache. She waited for her friend to continue.
“Madison. She can’t feel her legs. At all.”
“I’m on my way.”
Ending the call, she tossed her phone on the bed and looked for her own clothes. Not the ones from the wedding but her normal street clothes.
They were still in the bags on the floor. She hurried over and dragged them out, then realized she still needed to locate her panties, which were somewhere in that huge bed. She scrambled onto it, tossing aside bedclothes and sheets, until she found them buried beneath the rubble.
Rubble. That was a very good word to describe the aftermath of last night. Guilt snaked up her spine, lodging at the base of her skull.
Theo still hadn’t said a word as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his socks and shoes. She dragged on bra and panties, unable to face him naked, then she turned on the light, blinking until her eyes adjusted. “Was that Dr. Sumner?”
“Yes.” The one-word answer was curt with pain and accusation. Probably not at her but at himself.
She went to stand over by him. “This isn’t your fault.”
“Hell if it’s not. I never should have been in this room.” He glanced up at her, angry eyes skating down her body and then away. The inference was obvious.
It was like a slap to the face.
He’s hurting. This is not about you.
She could tell herself that for as long as she wanted, but it didn’t change the fact that he regretted being here with her. Making love to her.
If it could even be called that. Right now he’d looked at her as if he loathed her.
Maybe he did. But probably not more than he loathed himself.
She gathered the rest of her clothes and pulled them on, not bothering with her coat.
When he spoke again, his voice was devoid of emotion. “I’ll have the concierge send the rest of our things to my flat if that’s okay. I’d rather not arrive with them at the hospital. In fact, I’d rather we didn’t arrive together.”
Her head could understand all of that. It was quite logical. But her heart cried out as yet another dart pierced her skin. He didn’t want to be seen with her.
“It’s fine.”
It wasn’t. But this wasn’t about her precious ego, it was about a little girl’s life.
She can’t feel her legs.
Something about that niggled at the back of her head. Something important. But right now she couldn’t separate what was what, or trust her judgement. Not until she was able to get out of this room and forget about what had happened here.
Was that even possible? Madison had no idea, but she needed to at least try.
Within fifteen minutes they had everything bagged back up and were down at the concierge’s desk, where someone was ahead of them. She glanced down at her watch. Four o’clock in the morning, and there was someone else checking out? Theo looked at her. “You go on. I’ll take care of this.”
“No. She’s your daughter. You go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Just give me the address to your apartment.”
Scribbling something on a piece of paper, and then handing it to her, he nodded at her. “Please don’t tell—”
“I won’t. Just go.”
He nodded, and with a heavy sense of doom and an even heavier heart Madison watched him leave, until he was through the doors and out of sight.
Then it was just her. Alone. An all-too-familiar song in a very familiar life.
He didn’t want her to tell anyone about tonight. It was obvious he had no intention of repeating what had gone on here. Even if it had rocked her world and made her realize that maybe even a lone wolf was capable of falling in—
Stop it! This is about Ivy and not your feelings.
The concierge could
have asked any of a million questions about why the person checking out of the room was different from the person who’d checked in. But he did neither, just took down the address Theo had given her. He was polite and discreet. And for that tiny gift she was grateful.
She dragged her mind back to Ivy as she left the hotel with only her purse and the memory of all the magic she’d experienced last evening.
She couldn’t feel her legs.
What did that mean?
The growing weakness had been the main symptom up until now. She assumed that if Ivy couldn’t feel them, she also couldn’t move them. Which meant she was now paralyzed from the waist down.
How long before that paralysis began to creep up to other affected areas.
Madison couldn’t let that happen, even if she had to spend her days and nights studying every case file from here to Timbuktu.
Until she finally found one that fit Ivy’s symptoms. And could put an end to her—and Theo’s—agony once and for all. Then maybe, just maybe, Ivy’s biggest Christmas wish might come true after all.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“GOD, WHY DIDN’T I see it? My legs fell asleep and I didn’t see the connection. Until now.” She didn’t care that Theo might be cringing over that particular memory. None of that mattered.
Madison bent over Ivy, retesting the sensation in her legs, and got the same result Dr. Sumner had. Nothing. Not a flinch, not a contraction of the muscle, not one hint that the nerves in her legs were transmitting signals of any type up the neural pathway. And she bet she knew why. It was the same reason she hadn’t been able to feel her own legs after she and Theo had had sex. “I need an MRI. Right now.”
“But you already said there were no lesions.” Theo’s voice was calm. Too calm as he sat by his daughter’s bed.
Judy and Naomi had left the room a few moments ago so that Madison could examine Ivy without any distractions. Theo’s housekeeper had been distraught, apologizing over and over for falling asleep in the chair next to the bed. It had edged Madison’s guilt even higher for keeping the child’s father away from his daughter. But if she felt guilty, then Theo felt it a thousand times more deeply, judging from his haggard appearance.
She remembered her earlier words to him. Don’t you give up on me.
It was as if he already had. As if their night together had sounded a death knell for his daughter.
But he was wrong. So very wrong.
Destiny was not going to punish him for wanting—no, needing—a little human companionship.
She felt as guilty as hell for not being here when Ivy’s symptoms had progressed. But she wasn’t going to allow her feelings to paralyze her—to keep from doing what needed to be done. Unlike the times when she’d been a kid and had sabotaged her chances in one foster home after another, so sure her mom was going to come back for her someday. She’d let her emotions rule her, and they had almost destroyed her.
Not anymore. And certainly not this time. Not when Ivy needed her. Not when Theo needed a miracle.
“I don’t want another scan of her head. I want one of her back.”
“Her back? I don’t understand.”
Ivy’s voice came up to her. “What’s wrong with my legs? Why can’t I feel them?”
That tearful voice had asked the same question time after time ever since Madison had arrived at the hospital a half-hour earlier.
The cause had come to her in a flash. She just needed confirmation. And she prayed desperately that she was right.
She leaned in close to the child. “We’re working to find out, sweetheart. Do you think you can handle being in that white tube again?”
“Y-yes. If I have to.”
“It will help me find out what’s going on with your legs. And hopefully make you better.”
Theo’s grim voice interrupted her. “Madison...”
He didn’t want her to make empty promises. But she wasn’t. Not this time. And if she was right...
They might be able to reverse the course of Ivy’s condition. She’d have to strengthen her muscles to be able to walk, but at least she’d have the chance to be completely mobile again.
She firmed her jaw and faced him. “I know what I’m doing. You need to trust me. In this, anyway.”
He might not have trusted their decision about last night, and he’d be right. Everything about what had happened between them had been about a lack of impulse control. But here in this room she was not driven by a decision made in the heat of the moment. Or some kind of crazy attraction that had no logical basis and no possible future.
He’d as much as said it.
They hadn’t checked in with the rest of the treatment team as most of them were still at home in their beds, so this was ultimately Theo’s call as to whether he let her run with her hunch.
She waited with bated breath as a flurry of emotions crossed his face, and her mind wept as she read each one of them—fear, dread, guilt...pain. And finally resignation.
“Let’s do it. We can talk on the way down.”
Talk? Oh, God. She hoped it was about Ivy and not about last night. She didn’t need anything else clogging up her thoughts. She was having enough trouble filtering pertinent information as it was.
And if he was going to try to let her down easy...
Well, it was too late. Her heart was about to crash to the earth and tear open a crater so deep that no one would ever be able to find it again. Worst of all, it was for the best.
Madison made the call to the imaging department, who said they’d send someone right up for Ivy.
She sat on the bed beside her and held her hand for a long minute, while the child looked up at her with moist blue eyes that brimmed with some of the same emotions visible on Theo’s face.
“It’s going to be all right. We’ll be down there with you in a very few minutes, okay?”
Ivy nodded, glancing toward her father as if for reassurance.
Theo came over and kissed her on the head. “I won’t leave you, sweetness. Not even for a second.”
He would have to, of course. He couldn’t stay in the scanning area with her, but Ivy would already know that. He could wait in the control room and talk to her, though.
Minutes later, Ivy had been whisked away, leaving Theo to explain to Judy what was going on and to ask her to wait here in the room. The housekeeper, her white hair pulled into a bun, nodded. “You’ll let me know as soon as you hear anything?”
“I will.”
“I’m so sorry for spoiling your evening. You made it to the wedding?”
“You didn’t spoil it. And, yes, we... I went to the wedding. I’ll call you as soon as I know something.”
If Judy caught his little slip of the tongue, she said nothing, didn’t even glance in Madison’s direction. More hurt balled into a lump in her throat. A lump so big it was impossible to dislodge, no matter how many times she swallowed.
Madison and Theo exited the room, heading down the hallway to the elevators. “Theo, I am so sorry.”
“Don’t.” He cut her off. “The blame lays entirely with me. If anything happens to her...”
She caught his hand, forcing him to stop. “If this is what I think it is, there’s a good chance we can reverse the paralysis.”
His hand tightened on hers. “What do you think it is?”
“Let’s see the scans first. I don’t want to jump to conclusions without seeing definitive proof. Can you wait just a little while longer?”
“I’ve been waiting for months, it seems. And...” a muscle in his cheek worked “...it just feels like the clock is running out.”
She forced a smile. “I told you I’d tell you when to worry.” She shifted her hand and linked her fingers through his, knowing she was letting her impulses reign again. But she was desperate to set his mind at ease, even though she k
new it wasn’t the time for that yet. “This is not it. But it is the time to hope.”
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, sending a stream of conflicting emotions streaming through her. “I want you to be right. Heaven help me, Maddy, I pray you’re right.”
* * *
They sat in the room overlooking the MRI room as the machine took detailed pictures of his daughter’s body section by section. She’d been given a light anesthetic to help her hold perfectly still during the process, so he was grateful that she wasn’t afraid or confused.
Unlike Theo, whose heart pounded in his chest, sending his blood pressure through the roof. It wasn’t all due to Ivy either, although right now she was all that mattered.
Maddy had made Theo do something he hadn’t done in a very long time. Forget about Hope.
And he damned himself for that. Damned himself that he’d been with her while his daughter had been lying in a hospital bed unable to feel her legs.
He swallowed back a sea of emotions. Even in the hallway a few moments ago, he’d been unable to resist kissing her hand.
As a result of her words, his conscience argued.
No. As a result of last night. And it had to stop. Right here. Right now. Nothing else was going to divert his energy from finding out what was wrong with Ivy. Not even Maddy.
Especially not Maddy.
He’d had no trouble brushing off a woman’s interest. Up until now. And the worst part of it was the interest hadn’t started with her. It had started with him. He’d been the one who’d felt an immediate attraction to her. And he still had no idea why.
Yes, she was funny and sweet and tenacious as hell when it came to her patients. And she was beautiful beyond belief. But for him to have let down his guard at a time when it should have been at its highest was unforgivable. If Hope knew he’d jeopardized their daughter’s health on a night of meaningless sex, she’d be horrified.
Only he wasn’t so sure it had been meaningless. And that horrified him. He’d been so sure that no one would ever be able to take his late wife’s place. And here he was pining over a flesh-and-blood woman who was here, whereas Hope wasn’t.