Lifestyle Mastery Boxed Set
Page 35
Is there something you need to do, but you just haven’t gotten around to it? If so, write it down.
This is a vital action step to gaining control of your life. Without performing this exercise, you could spend countless weeks or even years struggling to keep up with everything that is demanding your attention. By making a list of all the unfinished business around your desk, on your shelves, in your closets, under the bed, and in your head, you will feel a great sense of relief.
“Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing
what they've started.”
— David Allen
Above all else, you will be able to sort through everything when you are more aware of what you have. As you become aware of your priorities, the stress of having to take care of everything melts away. Remember that you can’t do everything, but you can take care of the things that matter most.
As you work down your list of tasks, you will start to feel a great sense of accomplishment. The more tasks you concentrate on finishing, the more your confidence expands. You can make anything happen as soon as you get organized.
Here are the steps in summary:
Make a list of tasks, projects, chores and all work that remains unfinished. Create a list of everything, no matter how small it may seem.
Prioritize the items on your list in the order they should be tackled. In this case, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to do the biggest project on your list first. You might want to start with something small and work your way through before taking on a larger task. The purpose of this is to get something done!
For work that requires multiple steps to complete, create a list of tasks that need to be checked off in order to finish the project. Put these mini-tasks in order of importance.
Review your progress once a week. Make note of what has been done. Be sure to recognize the progress you’re making. Then, take note of what needs to be done this week, next month, and possibly over the next year.
Continue to review your progress and set yourself up with a schedule so you can concentrate on the goal or project at hand.
Action Plan
Draw a box on a piece of paper and write down the activities, people, or situations that are really important to you. These are your priority areas. It can include a new project, a family event, or something you just love doing and would like to spend more time on. Write as many things as you want in this box.
Make another box on a separate page and write down any distractions that waste your time. Is it TV, too many video games, pleasure-focused activities, or a boss who has you staying late at work every night? Everyone has to face these things, and as soon as you focus on them, you begin losing precious personal time.
What is your master goal for this month? Write it down and make a list of priority actions that will enable you to complete this goal. Write down all the actions you can think of, including making phone calls or taking a course at a college. Put these action steps into an organized plan and get to work! It could be anything—an unfinished novel, or even a half-renovated kitchen.
Using the steps outlined in this chapter, make a list of everything you have to accomplish to see this project through to the end. Now, make your list of actions and continue the task.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The Wall of Obstacles
“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.”
— B. C. Forbes
Obstacles are barriers that stand between you and the fulfillment of your dreams. To get from where you are today to the place you desire to be in the not-too-distant future, you will have to face life’s challenging roadblocks along the way.
Most of these obstacles can be overcome with a few simple strategies. More difficult challenges require an advanced approach. This could be a shift in personal values, the adoption of new beliefs, or developing a deeper level of wisdom and mindfulness.
In some cases, therapy is required to overcome issues that may be blocking you from reaching your goals.
If you are serious about achieving your dreams and are willing to go to any lengths, you will endure difficulties in which courage and confidence is challenged, beliefs are questioned, and unresolved trauma is confronted. In this place of fear and uncertainty, you will have to face the most terrifying obstacle of all: yourself.
You must prepare yourself to dig in and push through the problems blocking your direct path to freedom. Only by facing obstacles will you be able to make progress. Unfortunately, many people falter as soon as they hit the first wall and realize there’s no instant solution that can solve their problems.
An obstacle is blocking your path and appears insurmountable. Unless you can find a way to get past this hurdle, you will always be stuck by challenges that appear larger than you. When you find yourself at this crossroad, remember there is no problem or difficulty too complex that cannot be resolved.
Your success in any situation is measured by your performance in working through problems. If there is a way to avoid dealing with the problem, your first instinct may be to disregard it, bury it, or try to pass it on to someone else.
Either way, you will only seek to defeat yourself. That which you do not confront is unresolved. Even if it is resolved by someone else, this won’t help you grow. You must take care of your own weeds in the garden. They are still your weeds—even if someone else pulls them out.
When you pass the buck to someone else, instead of making a real effort to solve the situation, you end up disempowering yourself. You are doing the other person a favor by giving them the opportunity to solve what you passed on. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help but be intentional in conquering your own issues.
Life’s obstacles present an opportunity to strengthen yourself and become more confident as you defeat your own limitations. One of the greatest measures of successful people is their ability to transcend life’s difficulties and overcome the roadblocks that threaten to hold them back. Successful people stand up to challenges that threaten their goals and dreams.
External and Internal Obstacles
“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”
— Ronald E. Osborn
I have divided obstacles into two categories: external and internal. We largely create circumstances in our lives through our emotion, thought, action, interaction with people, and the quality of our relationships.
The problems we create because of our direct influence are called internal obstacles. The other set of obstacles is external, and in most cases, has nothing to do with us directly. However, we may be connected to such obstacles, not by choice but by duty or responsibility to seek solutions.
External Obstacles
External obstacles are the unpredictable events thrown in your path when you least expect them. They are created by the situations, circumstances, and natural events that are beyond your control. Whether it is a global crisis that starts on the opposite side of the world or an ill family member who needs your immediate attention, external obstacles challenge your ability to deal with a situation that is not entirely of your own making.
There is very little you can do to prevent these things from happening. However, you can do everything in your control to make the circumstances more favorable. This could mean reaching out to someone who really needs your help. Or, being pulled into a situation either at work or at home where a problem exists and you are expected to provide a successful outcome for other parties.
You may not have created a particular problem, but you could still be a part of the solution.
When a situation that you didn’t create arises, instead of responding with fear or by deciding it’s “not my problem,” condition yourself to adopt a different approach. Consider this a valuable opportunity to step
up and take charge.
If you feel afraid of the problem, let yourself feel that fear. Take action in the face of what frightens you. Your fearful emotions do not have to control your actions. You can control your emotions by doing something.
You can respond to any situation. If you choose to disregard a certain problem, it will continue to exist. The best time to determine how to deal with an obstacle is when it stands between you and all your hopes and dreams. You may face a situation in which you’re asked to find a solution to a problem, and others could be looking to you for guidance.
Regardless of whether the problem is a situation in your company, at home, or in a personal relationship, always ask yourself the following:
What can I do in this situation?
How can I make a difference here?
What actions could I take right now that everyone else is avoiding?
These questions create a higher level of personal empowerment as you start to think about possible solutions.
When you seek solutions to obstacles keeping you stuck, you empower yourself. When you rely on someone else to figure out the answers, you empower them. If you work together to overcome a barrier, you empower each other.
You can develop new methods and solutions for tackling these barriers when they appear and pose as obstacles in your path.
External obstacles include things such as the decisions of others and how they impact you, global economic crisis, war, natural disasters and illness.
You can decide how to handle the situation. Will you let it influence you in a negative manner, draining your energy day after day as the circumstances of the world shape your future? Instead, will you take action to seek out a solution to make the best of the situation at hand?
You always have a choice, in any situation, to do something. Take the lead when you have to and step back to let others deal with the crisis when that’s the best thing to do. As long as you are aware of the difference, you can decide either way.
Internal Obstacles
Internal obstacles are problems or conditions that are created through your direct involvement. It may be a situation arising from an unresolved issue, a difficult relationship, or a crisis related to work.
These obstacles can be very threatening because of the personal emotional ties we have to them. With external obstacles, it is much easier when you can acknowledge that you had nothing to do with creating this situation. But personal obstacles are more emotional and tied closely to your feelings of rejection and failure.
We all face countless internal obstacles. Many of these obstacles are small and harmless, so they go unnoticed. Other obstacles, however, may take over our lives. If they are not controlled or removed, their manifestation could make you miserable. These self-defeating behaviors grow from within and threaten to destroy you. They harm you spiritually and negatively influence your confidence and your ability to take a proactive stance.
If they aren’t confronted, they act like slow poison. When this happens, we become powerless, foolish, and fatigued. In our efforts to avoid pain and suffering caused by obstacles created by our self-defeating behaviors, we may turn to other methods of escapism (drugs, alcohol, excessive shopping) to relieve our suffering inflicted by this internal enemy. Internal obstacles include things like addictions, grief, trauma, negative thinking and more.
Obstacles that are hidden from view are the most difficult to overcome. Our greatest enemy is within us and remains elusive until strong intervention measures are taken.
Once you have confronted your greatest fears, you will have taken the first step to victory. The stranglehold that these problems have on your life will be defeated and the pathway to a new way of living will appear before you. This is your pathway to freedom. When you face your greatest trial with courage and faith, you are free to walk this path.
Facing your fears and personal demons gives you great strength. When you refuse to be defeated, the chains that bind you are released.
Whether you have an addiction, or you habitually think negatively, the power to change these behaviors lies within you. In the end, you are only as weak as you believe yourself to be.
Obstacles Have a Five-Fold Purpose
“Happiness is dependent on self-discipline. We are the biggest obstacles to our own happiness. It is much easier to do battle with society and with others than to
fight our own nature.”
— Dennis Prager
An obstacle is not a roadblock; it is a necessary element that serves a purpose. Obstacles help us grow. We tend to think problems will prevent us from moving ahead. Instead, it is by developing solutions to overcome challenges that the greatest growth is achieved.
Here are five reasons why obstacles matter and why we should embrace them as tools that can help us evolve.
1. Obstacles contribute to growth and development.
Develop the attitude that every challenging situation carries an opportunity for you to become stronger. Create a deeper awareness of why this particular problem has come into your life.
It is important to acknowledge that obstacles exist to enable us to evolve and make progress. This builds character, boosts courage, and gives you a deeper feeling of satisfaction once you have effectively worked through a difficult period.
2. Obstacles serve to increase self-confidence and boost self-esteem.
We feel a sense of deep fulfillment by overcoming challenges. This increases confidence and strengthens the belief that nothing is impossible. Instead of being powerless, you become empowered. You develop a strong character.
With every victory, your confidence moves up a notch, making you less fearful of the future. Remember that most people fail because they don’t believe in themselves, not because they lack ability.
3. Meeting new challenges expands opportunities.
You can become the master of problem-solving only by facing adversity and the things in life that oppose your ideals or chosen path. Your greatest challenge is to deal with difficult people or unpleasant situations.
These challenges give you an opportunity to become something today that you weren’t yesterday, to face problems and find solutions. Your greatest victory lies in facing your deepest fears.
4. Overcoming obstacles puts us in line with our life’s purpose.
Dealing with obstacles aligns us with things that are important in our lives. What appears to be a roadblock is actually a tool for enhancing focus and bringing us back to the path that leads to fulfillment. Meet challenges head on, find solutions, and when you can’t find the answers you’re looking for right away, take the time to explore other possible solutions.
Weigh your decisions carefully. Brainstorm options. Meditate and focus on whatever has led you to this place. Perceive every challenge as a stepping stone to a new level of awareness that draws you closer to your purpose, enabling you to stay on track.
Once you have managed to effectively remove a roadblock, it becomes a part of your life. You don’t just throw it away and forget about it. Instead, forge a relationship with each victory. The obstacles in your life have a purpose and, once you have faced them and effectively handled the situation, your life’s purpose become clearer.
5. Obstacles serve as your greatest teachers.
Obstacles are not necessarily hindrances designed to cause failure. However, your perception of a significant problem or misfortune in many cases is disillusioned. The obstacle that stands in your way serves as your greatest teacher. You learn the deepest lessons in life by facing the situations that challenge you and by overcoming these opposing forces. Remember that the tougher the challenge, the greater the reward and more valuable the lesson.
Facing the Thirty-Foot Wall
When faced with a situation that we don’t know how to deal with, the initial instinct is to react with negative resistance. We approach the solution from an angle of powerlessness. You may say things like, “Well, it’s not my problem! I had nothing to do with this!” or c
atch yourself complaining about the situation and coming up with reasons why it happened, how it could have been avoided, and who is to blame.
Complaining is always a complete waste of resources. It only adds to the problem and offers nothing in exchange.
Complaining about something or someone only makes the situation more unbearable for both the complainer and the people listening to them. You may think that you are getting something off your chest or releasing your frustration surrounding a particular incident, but if you carefully observe how you feel afterward, you’ll probably realize that you feel even more stressed and angry. Nothing will have been resolved. Only negative emotions would have been unleashed.
Many of the ways that we deal with problems are based on our experiences, traumas, and old ways that support our limiting beliefs. When we don’t know what to do, we react based on old methods that no longer work.
We tend to fall into our old patterns, especially when it comes to problem solving, as a means of dealing with our own fears and insecurities. We resist the problem until it becomes someone else’s problem or is buried under all the lies we tell ourselves.
One of the first things we tend to do is label the problem with a negative attitude. If it is a person, we come up with damaging labels for them. Labeling something attaches the blame to a person or situation. However, labeling not only disempowers the person being labeled, it also disempowers you.
If a difficult situation arises, avoid the labeling game. For many people, their first reaction is to strap a label on the problem and walk away. They distance themselves from the obstacle as if to say, “There, I just took care of it. Next?”