A House Full of Hope

by Missy Tippens

  She looked up at him with bright green eyes—the green of emeralds, of early summer leaves, of—

  “I’ve had fun today,” she said, interrupting his fanciful thoughts. “We still need to repaint the siding, but it’s nice to see the house sparkling once again.”

  “My mom and dad used to sit out here on evenings my dad left the store early. And on Sunday evenings. I’d hear them talking in low tones, and laughing. Those sounds made me happy. Made me feel secure.”

  She gave him a wistful smile. “I’m glad you have those good memories. My mom and dad laughed a lot early on, too.”

  He noticed she didn’t go into the hard times. The later times, after he came into their lives. “I’m sorry for the troubles I caused.”

  “It wasn’t all your fault. Dad always had a hard time dealing with Mom’s negativity and controlling nature. I’m pretty sure they already had financial difficulties, as well.”

  Trying to take comfort from her words, he nodded. “Still, I’d like to hear that you forgive me, if you think you can.”

  She put her hands on each side of his face. They were warm, and smelled like summer. “I forgive you. You’re a good man, and I’m glad God led you home. If He hadn’t, I might still be holding on to anger and resentment.” She gave him a quick, soft kiss. “I’m grateful He brought us together even if it’s just for a short time. Though I’m hopeful for longer.”

  He put his hands over hers, encasing his face, and leaned in for another, more satisfying kiss. When he pulled away, he told himself not to get used to this closeness. Not to depend on any kind of relationship until he’d won over Donna. He touched his forehead to hers. “Thank you, Hannah.”

  “As much as I’d rather sit here, we need to finish the last section of the porch.” She popped up to her feet and grabbed his paintbrush. Then she brushed a streak of paint down his forearm. “Oops.”

  “Why, you…” He dashed after her across the porch as she squealed in laughter. When she dodged his grasp and darted down the steps, he grabbed another brush. He caught up to her in the yard and dabbed the brush on her nose.

  She gasped in shock, then quickly followed it with a burst of laughter. He spun to the side. Felt the brush slap him on the back as he tried to arch, but couldn’t manage to get away.

  Squeals—kids’ squeals—sounded on the porch. He stopped long enough to look up. Into four laughing faces.

  “We’re not a very good example to your children right now,” he called to Hannah as he made another lunge in her direction.

  “Oh, I beg to differ.” She grabbed at a stitch in her side, then doubled over with a big belly laugh.

  He caught up to her easily, and once she stood, he wrapped his arms around her waist. “So you consider this art lessons?”

  When she smiled up at him, the dollop of white paint on her nose rather cute, he thought he’d never seen anyone so perfect in his life. “No. They’re getting to see two people in—” Her eyes flared open. “Having fun together.”

  Had she been about to say two people in love?

  “Are you going to kiss?” Becca called in a very rational tone of voice, as if observing a science experiment.

  Risking kisses with Hannah alone was one thing. But not in front of her children. They might get their hopes up. “No, we’re just playing.”

  She stepped away from him. “We were being silly. And now look at the mess we made.” She wiped a smear off his cheek, and gave him a sad smile. They both wanted something they couldn’t have.

  Yet.

  Everything would be perfect if only he could convince Donna he meant Hannah no harm.

  He would try to talk to her on Sunday.

  Hannah couldn’t wait to see Mark at the worship service Sunday morning. They’d only been apart twelve hours, yet she longed to be near him.

  She knew she shouldn’t allow herself to look forward to something so much. So many issues stood between them—her mother, her sister, his business.

  Not exactly an auspicious beginning for a relationship.

  “Will we get to see Nana today?” Tony asked as they walked in the church sanctuary, reminding her she needed to settle down and quit being so distracted. He stood on his toes, looking toward their regular pew, searching for his grandmother.

  She rubbed his back and did her own search. No Donna in sight. “I hope so.” But she knew better. Her mother was always early. If she wasn’t there now, she wouldn’t be coming.

  Mom, please. Please don’t do this to the children.

  She searched the sanctuary for her mother. No sign of her anywhere. As Hannah and the kids started down the aisle, Redd stood up and motioned for them to come down front to where he sat.

  With Mark.

  She couldn’t help smiling at seeing the two of them together, totally relaxed. But then she realized, too late, her smile had indicated to the kids that they should respond to his summons. The four of them raced ahead and zipped into the pew between the two men.

  What could she do but follow? When she arrived, Mark stepped out into the aisle to let her enter.

  “Good morning,” he said as she slipped in and took the only seat available. Between him and the kids.

  “Good morning.” What was she doing? Sitting with the Rykers was practically advertising a relationship with Mark. Her mother was sure to hear about it. She leaned toward his ear. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

  “I tried to stop my dad, but he said Donna isn’t here today, so you might need help with the kids.”

  His breath tickled her ear, sending goose bumps down her bare arms.

  “Cold?” He took off his jacket and settled it over her shoulders.

  The man had noticed her chill. He was that attentive.

  Between the warmth of the jacket that smelled like him—fresh and clean—and the warmth of the attention, she wasn’t feeling inclined to move away. For the first time in years, she felt secure. Protected.

  And in all honesty, she could use some help. Emily and Eric usually had a difficult time sitting through a whole service without getting antsy. She relished having two extra adults to watch them.

  She tried to rationalize the sense of joy. She had every right to make decisions that were best for her family. That would make them happy. But she hated the thought of her mother at home, refusing to associate with them…refusing to attend the worship service—all because Hannah had stuck up for Mark.

  It sucked the joy out of the moment.

  Her breathing quickened. Heat washed up her neck and face as she imagined an opportunity to tell her mother how wrong she was. If the woman had a legitimate beef with Mark, that would be one thing. But he’d apologized. He’d changed his life.

  Donna was being stubborn and unforgiving. Hannah couldn’t let that influence her choices in relationships.

  In a moment of rebellion, she scooted a little closer to Mark.

  Mark glanced down at Hannah, who’d scooted right up next to him earlier in the service. He wanted nothing more than to have her by his side. But not yet. Not when he hadn’t earned her mother’s respect. He couldn’t put Hannah and her children in the middle.

  The sooner he made amends, the better.

  “Why don’t we all go out to eat?” Redd said as they filed out of the church. “I’m buying.”

  Hannah glanced at Mark. “Well, the kids and I don’t have plans.”

  Going out to eat as a virtual family might not be a good idea.

  A little warm hand slipped into his. When he looked down, he found Becca staring up at him.

  She pushed up her pink glasses with one finger and squinted to hold them there. “Are you coming, too?”

  A quick glance at Hannah made his decision. Hope. He saw hope in her eyes
. And fear. And maybe some longing?

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” he told Becca as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

  They all walked across the street to Frank’s Pizza Place. Frank, who’d opened the business when Mark was a child, waved and smiled. He never said much, but he made the best pizza in three counties.

  Once they’d ordered, Redd leaned back in his seat. “So, Hannah, how’s the fundraising going for the mission trip?”

  She gave a little snort and grinned at his dad. “Do you have to ask?”

  Mark looked between his dad and Hannah. “What’s up with the trip?”

  “Hannah called a while back to ask if the store could sponsor a child for the mission trip. I agreed to sponsor one. Then when I took your money out of my account, I passed it on to Hannah for the youth. Now I can sponsor…well, several kids.”

  Mark had been learning about giving. Learning to acknowledge that all he’d worked for and earned was a gift from God. Seeing the joy on his dad’s face at the possibility of helping others was humbling. “Hannah, I’d like to sponsor some of the kids, too.”

  Redd clapped him on the back and smiled. “Son, you just did.”

  Mark was happy they could laugh about what had been a difficult situation before. A smile crept up on him.

  Hannah took hold of Mark’s and Redd’s hands. “The generosity of both of you has financed the whole trip. We’ve also set aside part of the money to help with scholarships next year. Gabe is hopeful it’ll become an annual, church-wide event, growing each year.”

  She plastered a proud look on her face. “We won’t turn away another donation, though. You could always contribute to the ski-trip scholarships. And retreats. And local mission projects. Maybe a matching program. You’ll match whatever the youth make on their fundraising projects.”

  Mark nodded. “I like it. They’ll have to do their share of the work.”

  “Of course. They’re hard workers when it comes to their projects.”

  “You’ve sold me. I’ll contact Gabe when I get back to Seattle.”

  The comment was like a splash of cold water in his face. And, apparently, on Hannah, too. The grip of her slender hand slackened, and she pulled it away.

  “Seattle is in Washington state,” Tony told Redd. “It’s clear across the country. Like a thousand miles away.”

  Redd whistled. “That far, huh?”

  “Yeah. But not as far away as Heaven.”

  Mark’s eyes shot to Hannah’s. The weight of what he needed to do sank in.

  There was a lot more at stake here than just his and Hannah’s feelings for each other. Hannah was a package deal.

  A relationship with her was also a relationship with four children who’d lost their father.

  He would go talk to Donna as soon as they finished lunch. This time, success was critical.

  Donna stared at Mark through a small opening in the door.

  “You don’t have any business here,” she said as she slammed the door shut—on the foot he’d inserted.

  “Please. I’m worried about Tony and need to talk with you.”

  Fear glittered in her angry eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “Can I come in? I won’t keep you more than ten minutes.”

  She threw the door open and jerked her head toward a small kitchen at the back of the duplex.

  Everything was tidy, spotless. Perfectly matched picture frames, filled with photos of Hannah’s kids from birth to the present, lined the short hallway. When they reached the kitchen, he sat at a small wooden table he suspected was clean enough to eat off.

  “Talk,” she said once she’d sat stiffly across from him.

  “I think Tony is getting attached to me.”

  She shook her head. “Well, duh. He misses his dad.”

  “And his grandmother.”

  Eyes squinted, she leaned forward and shook her index finger at him. “Don’t you be judging me. I’ve been there for those kids every minute since Anthony died. But I won’t stand by and let Hannah make a huge mistake.”

  “Is making a statement more important than their feelings? They need you. Hannah needs you.”

  “You think going off and earning a bundle of money qualifies you to come home and act like you know everything? Well, you don’t know a thing.”

  He ran a hand over his jaw, covering his mouth long enough to keep from saying something he’d regret. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound critical. I came here to try one more time to apologize.” He rested his arms on the table, trying to read her, trying to understand why she would be so rigid, so hateful. “I know you have every reason to dislike me, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to prove I won’t hurt your family.”

  Lines bracketing her eyes and mouth gave her a hard edge. “Do you think avoiding them is easy for me? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. They’re my life. My whole life, since Sydney’s been in rehab.” Her grip tightened, bunching up the place mat until her hands shook.

  “They miss you. Especially Tony.”

  “This problem is easily fixed. Leave town.”

  Her demand hung between them—the sensible solution.

  But falling in love wasn’t simple.

  He took a deep breath and said a quick prayer for fortification. “I care for Hannah, Mrs. Williams. And for the children.”

  “So? You’ll be leaving soon to go back to Seattle and your high-and-mighty job.”

  “I’ve made amends with my dad. He’s forgiven me. I hope you will, too, so I can feel good about pursuing a relationship with Hannah.”

  “Do you think I care how you feel?” she asked in a voice both soft and menacing. “Did you care how I felt when my Sydney pickled her brain with alcohol? When my husband moved out? When we lost the house because we had to pay for another round of rehab?”

  “Please forgive me.”

  She jerked to her feet, went across the kitchen and yanked the cabinet open. Then she pulled out coffee filters and a tub of Folgers. “I want you to leave.”

  Somehow, he had to make her understand. “I was devastated by my brother’s death. My mother couldn’t function. My dad wouldn’t even look at me.”

  She turned her back to him, her hands braced against the counter. “Leave. I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

  “It was all my fault.”

  She didn’t budge. She was a fortress against compassion, waiting for him to go.

  “I’m falling in love with her. And I think she cares about me. I hope you’ll change your mind…for your daughter’s sake.”

  “I have two daughters. One in her final weeks of rehab. The other in the middle of making the biggest mistake of her life. Anything I do right now is for their sakes.”

  He forced his legs to carry him outside and away from Donna’s house. She’d deliberately brought up Sydney to reinforce the wall between them, a wall that would fuel her grudge.

  He would not get Donna Williams’s forgiveness.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hannah had been antsy all evening. Mark had gone to see her mother that afternoon. Now the sun had gone down, and she still hadn’t heard from him.

  She had the kids bathed and ready for bed and took them out to sit on the porch. Becca and Tony shared one rocker. She held the twins in her lap in the other. But she couldn’t stay still. She got up, set them in the chair and paced. Had he and Donna argued? Was he upset and avoiding coming to see her? Had he left town?

  The possibilities darting through her mind made her heart race, her breathing shallow. She shouldn’t think the worst, though. She knew Mark. He’d babysat her kids. Had protected them. He cared about her. She could trust him. He was probably just spending the day with Ann.

&
nbsp; About the time she’d given up on Mark coming at all, she heard tires crunching gravel along the driveway and then spotted his car—moving way slower than usual. Not a good sign.

  She hurried the little ones inside, promising a treat. She would let them watch a movie they’d been dying to see. A reward for behaving so well at church that day.

  Once she got the movie set up, she hurried back outside. Mark trudged up to the porch, confirming the worst. She dropped into one rocking chair and pointed to the other. “How bad was it?”

  He sat down, closed his eyes. “Pretty bad.” The chair rocked back and forth, the wooden joints squeaking with each forward and back motion. Then he tilted his head to look her direction.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Don’t be. She has a right to her anger. My actions cost her everything.”

  “And now her actions are costing you. So you’re even.”

  He smiled at her in the waning light, his teeth a flash of white. But it quickly faded. She couldn’t bear to see him so dejected, so beaten down.

  I hurt when he hurts. The realization frightened her. She’d grown to love this man.

  Of all the men to fall in love with…

  Lord, can I do this? Is this what You want for me? Even against my mother’s wishes?

  But surely, more than anything, God wanted them to forgive and try to make peace.

  Hannah knelt in front of Mark, laying her arms across his knees. “I love you,” she whispered. Tears suddenly burned her eyes. Love, fear, compassion all warred inside her.

  She refused to let hatred and unforgiveness win. She stared into his eyes, lit only by the light spilling out of the house. “I don’t know how this will work out. And I’m scared. But I do know I want you in my life. And in my children’s lives.”

  He stood, tugging her to him. With his strong arms wrapped around her, she felt as if she could take on any challenge.

  He nuzzled his cheek to hers. “Hannah, I—”