Jacked Up

by Samantha Kane

  Maybe he should call Jane. She was so levelheaded in situations like this with Sam. She was the expert at taking care of others. King had seen it at the hospital and with Sam. She had the same urges King did, the same need to care for the people she loved. But how could King tell her about him and Sam? He’d cut off his right arm before he hurt her. Why hadn’t he thought of that before he’d fucked Sam? Because, as usual, he jumped in and took what he wanted without thinking it through first. He was such an idiot sometimes.

  It might be better if he called Mark Sweeney. Mark was more qualified to talk to Sam about this than King was. Dammit! He’d told King Sam was okay, that wherever things went, Sam could handle it. Hadn’t he?

  Suddenly he heard Sam get out of bed and walk around. A moment later he heard him say, “Jane? It’s Sam.” Then he closed his bedroom door and his voice was muffled.

  King felt the closing of the door like a hit to the solar plexus. He was being locked out. When Sam needed someone, he turned to Jane. Wasn’t that the first thought King had had, too? They may not know one another very well, but from the moment they’d met, Sam and Jane had had a connection. King had seen it, and Sam had talked about it. Jane was what Sam needed. Neither of them needed some fucked-up threesome shit with King. Sam had enough troubles in his life, and Jane deserved better.

  The question was, how did he back out now without hurting Jane, and without losing Sam’s friendship? The idea of not having either of them anymore made his future look pretty damn grim. He knew Jane needed someone to take care of her. He got the impression that she always tried to be the strong one. Like her insistence that she was always the good girl. Sounded like she was trying too hard to please everyone else and failing herself in the process. She needed someone who would value her for who she really was. Could Sam see that? Or was he too caught up in his own shit, and Carmina’s, and football? It wasn’t Sam’s fault, but King knew people could fall back into certain roles in relationships. What if Sam and Jane did that? They needed someone who could take care of them both.

  And maybe King was trying too hard to control everyone else’s life. Hadn’t his mom and sisters warned him about that? He knew he could be a bulldozer, flattening any objections to the way he thought things should be. But he was usually right. He’d been right about Sam so far, hadn’t he? And he’d been right about Jane.

  He’d known as soon as he saw her that she was perfect for Sam.

  King cursed under his breath. That’s what he’d thought. Not perfect for them, but perfect for Sam. He’d detoured from that original plan. Was the detour for his benefit, or for all three of them? That’s what he had to figure out. And he had to figure it out before it was too late not to hurt the two people he cared about in the process.

  —

  “Sam?” Jane said, only half-awake. She checked her phone again. “It’s three in the morning,” she said, yawning. “Is something wrong?” Her head began to clear. “Oh my God, is everything all right?”

  “No, no, it’s fine,” he said. “I’m sorry. Go back to sleep. I shouldn’t have called.” His voice said everything was not fine.

  “Well, I’m awake now,” she said, settling back against the pillows. “Might as well tell me what made you call me in the middle of the night.”

  “It’s stupid,” he said. She could hear the frustration in his voice, and suddenly she knew.

  “Did you have another nightmare?” she asked quietly. There was silence on the other end of the phone. “It’s okay if you just wanted to talk about it,” she told him. “I don’t mind. Isn’t King there?” She’d wondered if they were going to go back to Sam’s and sleep together. She wouldn’t have been surprised. They’d both been really into each other earlier. She should have felt left out and awkward about the whole thing, but the truth was that she was totally turned on by the fact that they wanted to have sex with each other, and they wanted her there when they did it. Her kink meter just hit eleven, apparently.

  “I woke him up, too,” Sam grumbled. “I sent him back to bed.”

  “So you weren’t sleeping together?” she asked curiously.

  “No,” Sam said pretty forcefully. “Why would you think that?”

  “Well,” she said, carefully choosing her words, “you were both pretty into it earlier today. I just assumed that you might want to explore more of that when you guys got home.”

  “You were there,” he said quickly. “It’s different.”

  “Well, there goes that fantasy,” she said, teasing, trying to ease the tension in his voice.

  “What fantasy?” he asked sharply. She hesitated. Did he really want to hear it? Should she even bring it up? Sam seemed a little uptight about the physical side of his developing relationship with King.

  “You sure you want to hear this?” she asked.

  “Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” he answered. She could hear his sheets rustling, and the knowledge that he was lying in his bed while they were talking excited her.

  “Are you wearing anything?” she asked before she thought about it.

  “Boxers,” he said. “Which I can lose if that’s part of this fantasy.” He didn’t actually sound like he was into it at the moment.

  “I didn’t mean to take it there,” she said with real regret. “I know that you didn’t call for phone sex.”

  “Added benefit,” he said. “Like a free Coke with popcorn at the movies.”

  She laughed. “I’m a free Coke?”

  “Sweet as one, for sure,” he teased. “Boxers on or off?”

  Despite where this was going, she took a second to think about it. “On,” she said.

  “What?” He sounded surprised.

  “I want to get you all worked up,” she said in what she hoped was a sexy voice. “But you have to save it until we see each other again.”

  “Oh, man,” he said, with a disbelieving laugh. “You are mean, Cruella.”

  “Hmm,” she hummed happily. “So? My fantasy. Remember?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She shivered. She loved it when he went all soldier on her. He sounded kind of interested now, so she guessed he liked her mean. She mentally added it to the sexual perv list for both of them. That list was getting pretty long.

  “See, it stars you and King,” she said slowly. “Naked. I want you to take a few seconds and imagine that. I’m sitting in a chair at the end of the bed and you two are standing next to the bed, on opposite sides.”

  “Are you naked, too?” he asked. “Just need clarification.”

  “Totally and completely,” she said, getting into the story. “And I’m manspreading.”

  “What?” he asked with a laugh.

  “You know,” she said impatiently. “I’m sort of leaning back in the chair with my legs spread wide.”

  “Ah,” he said. “Next time lead with the wide-open legs.”

  “Hush up,” she said. “You’re harshing my vibe.”

  “No vibes,” he said. “If I can’t come, you can’t come.”

  “You are officially as mean as me. Now be quiet.” She licked her lips. “ ‘Get on the bed,’ I tell you both.”

  “And King is okay with that?” Sam asked in an amused voice. “Mr. What-I-Want-Is-What-I-Get?”

  “I’ve noticed that,” she said, smiling. “Are you going to get your head into this fantasy or what? You’re making this very hard. I’ve never had phone sex before.”

  “This isn’t phone sex if we’re not coming,” he explained patiently.

  “That’s what you think. Ninety percent of sex is mental.”

  “The other ten percent is someone touching my dick,” Sam said wryly. “No offense, but that’s where the big payoff is.” She couldn’t contain her laughter.

  “Poor baby,” she cooed. “Where was I?”

  “We were getting on the bed. This sure is a slow fantasy.”

  “ ‘King, get on top of Sam,’ ” she said, making it up as she went along.

  “Ouch,” Sam co
mmented. “You know he’s pushing 300 pounds, right? I’m like 240 soaking wet.”

  “Mmm,” she said, closing her eyes. “Wet. Yes, you’re both wet from the shower, all those muscles slipping and sliding against each other as King slowly rubs against you. And you’re held captive by his weight and by lust.”

  “Damn,” Sam said under his breath. “You’re good at this for a rookie.”

  “King uses those big arms of his to lower himself down, licking the drops of water from your chest and stomach, until his face is right over your cock.” Sam was breathing heavily and she grinned. “ ‘Suck it,’ ” I tell him. And he does. Just the tip at first, in his hot, wet mouth.”

  “Holy shit,” Sam groaned. “Stop. I can’t.”

  She pouted, glad he couldn’t see. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought that was what you wanted. Did I go too far?”

  “Hell, no,” Sam said. “I do want it. But there is no way I can listen to this and not come. And I really feel like the first time I come because King is sucking my dick he should be there. In the flesh.”

  “Good point,” she said. “We can wake him up again.”

  “No. He needs his rest,” Sam insisted immediately. “We leave for Houston tomorrow, remember?”

  “Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I forgot. You need your sleep, too.” She bit her lip. “Can you sleep?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I think so,” he told her.

  “You could always go and crawl into bed with King,” she said, all teasing gone.

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Sam said after a long pause.

  “I’m getting hot and cold signals here, Sam,” she said. “You can’t string King along, you know. You have to make a decision. Whatever it is, he’ll respect it and so will I.”

  “What does that mean?” he asked. “You wouldn’t care if King and I were having sex without you?”

  She gave the question the attention it deserved and thought about it before answering. “No,” she finally said. “I wouldn’t. I mean, sure, I’d prefer to be there, because the idea of it pushes all the right buttons for me. But you guys are together a lot, much more than I’m with you. And the attraction between you is smoking hot. So I don’t expect you to deny your feelings for each other or what you want to do just because I’m not there.”

  “I don’t know how I’d feel if you and King did it without me,” Sam said. “I’d probably be hurt and worried you didn’t want me anymore.”

  “Is that what the problem is?” she asked, getting really worried. “Are you having second thoughts about the three of us now that King and I have fooled around?”

  “No,” Sam said. “I still want that. I still want both of you.”

  “I’m okay with that,” Jane said. “Which surprises the hell out of me, don’t get me wrong. But, I don’t know, when you two are focused on each other I can tell that you haven’t forgotten about me. Isn’t having someone there watching part of what makes it so hot? I know I really like that when I’m with one of you and the other is watching.”

  “But would you do it with one of us if the other wasn’t there?” Sam persisted.

  “Yeah, I would,” Jane said, getting a little exasperated. “I like all of us together, but I also like both you and King. What I feel for you both individually isn’t diminished by what I feel for the three of us together. Does that make sense?”

  “King and I had sex tonight,” Sam blurted out. Jane was stunned into shocked silence for a second or two. “Jane?” he asked, sounding worried.

  “I just needed a minute to get over the shock,” Jane said. “I mean, I knew you guys wanted to, but so far this conversation led me to believe you weren’t sure about it. What’s going on in your head, Sam?”

  “I really, really wanted it,” Sam confessed in an anguished whisper. “But I felt guilty the whole time because you weren’t there.”

  “Because I wasn’t there, or because you had sex with a guy without a woman there?” Jane asked, after a second of hesitation. This was a big deal, and Sam was clearly having issues with it. Damn it, everything was so new. She didn’t know how to navigate this stuff.

  “Because you weren’t there,” Sam said. “We chased you and begged you to give us a chance, and then the minute we’re alone we fuck without you. I feel like we cheated on you.”

  “Whoa,” she said. “Back up. I just told you I’m okay with it. Honestly, if it’s the first time you two have been together, and the first time you’ve been with a guy, then I totally understand doing it without an audience. That’s pretty heavy, and it should be a memory for you two.”

  “Maybe not a great memory,” Sam said.

  “Uh-oh. Wasn’t it any good?” Jane asked, wincing. “I’ve only done anal once or twice and neither time was great because the guys I was with didn’t know what they were doing.”

  “You’ve had anal sex?” Sam asked, his voice shocked.

  “Every guy wants it now,” Jane said drily. “It’s the new third base.”

  “It was good,” Sam told her. His voice got a little rough when he said, “Very good.”

  “Well, that’s great, right?” she asked, totally confused now.

  “Maybe I wasn’t ready,” Sam said miserably. “Maybe this wasn’t the right time.”

  “Have King and I pushed you too much?” she asked. “If so, I’m sorry. My excuse is I’m in new territory here. I’m confused. You guys came to me and you told me you want us to be a threesome. You tell me it can’t be a big secret. Okay. But people are going to assume we’re a threesome in every way, Sam. That doesn’t mean we have to be, but if you’re worried what people will think, well, they’ll think it anyway.” She sighed. “Trust me, I’ve been over and over this in my head. I was so worried about what everyone would think, that I’d be ruining my good reputation, all those years of following the rules thrown out the window. But the fact is that I never got anything like you and King by being good. I’m still not sure I’m ready for the backlash, but I think we’re worth giving it a shot. The question is, do you?”

  “That’s not even an issue for me,” he said, sounding miserable. “I know we’re worth it, and fuck what other people say. I’ve seen too much shit go down in my life to let other people’s opinions dictate what I do or don’t do.”

  “Then what’s going on?” she asked softly. “Tell me. Does it have anything to do with your dream?”

  “Yeah,” he said, sighing. She could almost see him running his hand through his short hair and rubbing the shaved side. “The dream was different tonight.”

  “Oh,” she said, feeling out of her depth. “Okay. You want to tell me about it?”

  “It was more about Richie—Berkovitch, a friend of mine who died in the bombing.”

  “The one you tried to pull out of the line of fire?” she asked, thinking back to what King had told her months ago.

  “Yeah,” he said. “He wasn’t dead yet in the dream, and they were pulling him away from me as he gasped my name. And Carmina was standing there crying, and the look she was giving me…man, like she blamed me. And I couldn’t move again, you know? I couldn’t do anything as Richie just kept getting pulled farther and farther away.”

  “But that’s not how it really happened,” she said slowly.

  “No. Richie was dead, lying there next to me. And Carmina was lost. I mean, she was behind the wall, knocked out cold, but I didn’t know that.”

  “What do you think the dream means?” she asked, suspecting that Sam had done some analyzing of himself.

  “I think Richie, he’s really King,” he said. “The way he gasped my name in the dream, he sounded just like King at the lake.”

  “Oh,” she said, blinking rapidly. “King isn’t going to die just because you two had sex,” she told him gently.

  “No,” Sam said with a snorted laugh. “I know that. But I could lose him. Couldn’t I?”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked, wondering where he was
getting this from. “King isn’t going anywhere.”

  “I could lose his friendship, Jane,” Sam said. “And he’s…he’s the best friend I’ve ever had. What if it’s not what he thinks it will be? You know? And he gets bored and we just, I don’t know, grow apart because he gets what he wanted and he’s done or something.”

  “First of all, that doesn’t sound like the King I know,” she said firmly. “But you know him better. Does that sound like the King you know?”

  “No,” he mumbled.

  “Secondly,” she said, “I’ve fucked you. There is no way you’re going to be a bad fuck for King. Trust me on this one. Seriously. You are a great fuck.”

  Sam laughed and she could hear his shy self-consciousness in it. “Thanks. I think. I’m not sure what the protocol is when the girl you’re dating tells you you’re going to be a great fuck for the other guy she’s dating.”

  “Thanks is good,” she said. “I think we’re making our own protocol here.”

  “Got it.”

  “I mean it, Sam,” she said. “King isn’t going anywhere. Your friendship means as much to him as it does to you.”

  “This is all new,” he said.

  “I have a feeling we’re going to be saying that a lot for a while,” she told him. “Which makes it all okay. Even the worries.” She felt better after hearing Sam’s concerns. “Have you told King about this?”

  “No.” Sam was silent for a few seconds. “I owe him an apology. I sort of kicked him out after we had sex. I still felt guilty and panicked and confused over the dream and what happened. I mean, he just fucked me. What does he think of me now? I couldn’t face him. I think I hurt his feelings.”

  “Oh, Sam. He’ll understand.”

  “I hope so.” Sam sighed. “What if I never get over this?” he whispered. “What if every fucking thing makes me have some version of that damn dream?”

  “Then we figure out how to deal with it,” Jane said immediately, undaunted by the prospect. “No matter what, Sam, it’s just a dream.”