Shaping Destiny

by Hmonroe

  “Well, the healing thing, I truly have never seen before. That is new to me.” He paused for a minute. “But before I tell you about me, I need to know one more thing about you.”

  I waited for him to continue.

  “There is no easy way to ask you . . . Along with smell, hearing, and healing, can you shape shift?”

  This wasn’t happening. Was he really asking me the same question as the boss did when he captured me? Fear ran down my spine. Could they possibly be working together?

  I stood up. “What kind of question is that? I told you the night the boss tormented me that he expected me to be some kind of shape shifter, and here you are asking me if I truly am one. The boss is insane; you don’t believe for a minute that he was telling the truth, do you?”

  “Leah, please sit down. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “Well, when you start asking the same questions the boss did, it makes me wonder.” I crossed my arms against my chest. “Who hired you to protect me?”

  “You can’t truly believe I have anything to do with the boss. After all the times I fought against him. You know I’ve already broken the rules by being with you. I can’t tell you who hired me. This whole thing was supposed to be discreet.”

  “I don’t know what to think anymore. Please take me home.”

  Max ran his fingers through his hair, feeling desperate. “Leah, I know you can feel the connection we have with each other.” He stood to walk closer to me. “I know you react to my touch, and I to yours.”

  My eyes locked with his, in shock.

  Max slowly reached out until the tips of his fingers glided along my cheek. “I can see the goosebumps that form on your skin. I can feel your insides tremble when our skin meets. I tried with all my might to stay away from you in the beginning, but I couldn’t. I have never felt this before. Please don’t run and think I’ll hurt you. Even the thought of you being hurt enrages me. No one is going to hurt you, I promise.”

  My body ignited on fire by his words. “Why?” I put my hand to my chest, feeling so much emotion for this man.

  “I don’t know yet.” We got lost in each other’s eyes, drifting hopelessly closer. As my body heated through, his desired expression started to fade to concern.

  “Your eyes.” He put his hands on either side of my face. “I can hear your heart beating too fast. You need to calm down, take a deep breath.”

  I tried breathing, but it only came out shallow and fast. “I can’t think when you’re so close. It’s burning.” I barely spoke.

  He stepped away quickly, while I crumbled in pain. I started counting in my head and breathing as deeply as possible, until the pain subsided.

  “Leah, it’s OK. You did it, you held off the change. Are you OK?”

  I slowly moved to the boulder we once sat on and leaned against it.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “You’re a shape shifter.” He leaned down to look at me. “I know you don’t want to believe it, but you are.”

  “I’ve heard enough. What you’re saying is impossible. You’re not making any sense! I thought you were different.”

  Max looked down, not speaking for what seemed like forever. “I am different, just not the way you think. Remember that night when you were telling me about a black wolf that came and scared everyone way?”

  Feeling drained I replied, “That was you?”

  “Yes.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Max drove me home. I’d had enough talk of shape shifting. Although I supposedly almost shifted myself, I still didn’t want to believe it was possible.

  As the next week passed, Max kept reminding me that I couldn’t hide forever. He wanted to help me understand and not go through this alone, but I didn’t want to face the truth yet.

  ***

  The connection between Max and me only made the need to shift more apparent, which only made it harder to ignore the inevitable. That day when we were up in the mountains, he told me how he felt. He placed his hands on my face, and our feelings circled around us. It was then when my heart wouldn’t slow, and pain enveloped my torso. Not until he let go was I able to pull myself together again. This fact didn’t keep me from seeing him, though. I feared to tell him the burning pain he caused me, and the more we were together the stronger it got. It was time to do something.

  From my patio, Max’s smell filled my senses. I needed to talk to him. After grabbing my coat I headed outside, knowing Max would find me.

  “I know you can hear me.” I continued walking down the sidewalk. He never lingered far anymore, because of the repeated attacks. “I’m ready.”

  A black truck rounded the corner and stopped instantly next to me, its passenger’s door already swung open.

  “Get in,” Max said.

  We drove up to our spot in the mountains: the waterfall. Max opened the door for me when we arrived, and we climbed hand in hand to the top.

  I couldn’t run away anymore. The boss and his lackeys were after me, and I needed to know why. My choices where limited: either I learn what was happening to me or I get captured by the boss. Max couldn’t protect me forever.

  “Should I be scared?”

  “What are you scared of?” Max stopped to asked.

  I looked down. “Being a monster, hurting you, and not being human.”

  “You have this all wrong. Just because your body changes, doesn’t mean your mind does. You will still be you.” He put both hands on my arms. “If you’re having second thoughts . . . ”

  “No, I’m fine. Let’s keep going.” Having second thoughts was putting it mildly. My whole life had turned upside down in a matter of months.

  Max said he could feel the pull between us, but he didn’t know his touch made it harder for me to control. I never wanted to tell him, because he would try to fix it. No matter how much I feared being a shape shifter and denied it, it frightened me more than the thought of his leaving.

  “No matter how many times I see this place, it’ll always be amazing,” I said.

  “It reminded me of you when I first saw it.” Max put his hands in his pockets and looked down. “I’ve never met anyone like me before. A shape shifter, I mean.”

  “Not one? Not even family?”

  Max shook his head. “I’m adopted. When I found out, I was seventeen. I never told my parents or friends. I’ve always kept this secret to myself.”

  “So you had no one to talk to about it?”

  “No, but I don’t want that for you, Leah. I want to help you understand.” Max looked up.

  “But how do you know that I am like you?”

  “There are too many things that have happened: smell, hearing, the attacks. I know you want to fight it until the very end, but there is no denying it any longer. I’ll prove it to you; we just have to find out what triggers your turn. For me it was anger, but I don’t think that’s it for you. Last time we were up here you almost turned, so I thought this would be a good place to start.”

  My cheeks burned red. I knew exactly what made my insides heat up. I just needed to tell Max.

  “I do,” I said softly.

  “You do what?”

  “I know what would make me turn.”

  “That’s great. Tell me.” He walked toward me.

  I put my hand out to block him getting too close as my stomach turned into knots with anticipation. I already felt his presence strong enough just talking to him. I didn’t need him any closer.

  “You. You are my trigger. I can’t even get near you without feeling like I’m going to explode. It’s just getting worse and worse every day.”

  “Me?” He took a step back. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because of that.” I gestured to his step back. “I didn’t want you to leave.”

  “I’m not going away. I couldn’t go away.” Silence fell between us. “When you’re ready to turn, I’ll help you.”

  Blush filled my cheeks. “I’m ready . . . I think.” Who could be ready f
or something like this? Thinking about my skin, bones, and muscles all moving in a painful transformation made me want to walk back to Max’s truck . . . until I locked eyes on him.

  That’s all Max needed to start his way toward me. Maybe it was out of respect that he held back any physical desire, but now he didn’t. His eyes became lustful, yet gentle. Prickling pain started at my toes and worked its way up slowly. His pace didn’t slow toward me, and all I could hear were our hearts beating faster and faster. All sounds became muffled as blood pumped through my veins. My skin boiled with heat, my head started to spin, and without warning his lips landed on mine. Our arms enveloped each other. His hand slowly went up my back until it rested at the nape of my neck. I had never experienced a kiss with so much passion, desire, and heat. I couldn’t fight the fire much longer even though I tried.

  I yelled in pain, breaking our kiss. Max never let go as my legs gave out. He cradled me and gently laid me down on the ground, stroking my hair in hopes to comfort me. I screamed even louder as transformation consumed me. The pain felt as if I were being ripped open from the inside. My screams turned into roars as fur lined my skin and my hands turned to paws. There was no turning back now, even if I wanted to. The transformation was almost complete.

  “You’re OK, Leah. It won’t be this painful every time.” Sadness laced his words.

  Everything calmed. I opened my eyes to reveal much crisper and detailed lines of nature. All the trees and leaves shimmered. They lit up nature with vibrant colors and smells. I could hear cracking of branches and brushes as if they were breaking right next to my ears. The breeze held more than just air; sounds of nature danced between the plants and animal life. A mile away a field of pine trees filled my nose as they tried to grow. Nature encircled every part of my senses.

  Fur covered my whole body, and I held no resemblance of being human. I knew it would happen, but to actually see it surprised me. I continued examining my body and turning all different directions. There was no denying that I was a shape shifter any longer. My fur was light and striking in color. Reds weaved between white strands. The thickness and warmth comforted me.

  Max sat in awe watching me soak in the surroundings. “You’re magnificent.”

  “Roar . . .” I tried to speak.

  Max laughed. “I can’t understand you right now.”

  So many images came to mind before transforming. I could have become a wild beast that roams the forest forever or die from the pain. But I never felt more alive and in control than at this moment.

  Not wanting to go too far but wanting to explore, I traveled up the hill on all fours. I weaved my agile body through trees and leaped over logs, scaring birds along the way and hearing their angry squawks.

  “Leah!” Max yelled.

  His voice stopped me in my tracks. Noticing I’d gone too far, I followed my scent back in a run. The speed thrilled me and I didn’t slow until I was inches away from Max.

  Max took a couple steps back, ready for impact. “I think you’ve got the hang of it. Are you ready to shift back?”

  I shook my head in agreement and went back to where my clothes lay. They were ripped in two. Of course, I thought. How could clothes that fit a 110-pound human fit a 200-pound wolf?

  “Sorry, I should’ve told you about this part. I have a blanket in the truck.”

  Max picked up all the scattered clothing. “Race you back.”

  Was he kidding? My four legs would carry me faster than his two any day, but I took off after him. I caught up to him instantly, making him run faster. Effortlessly, I ran by him until his truck came into view.

  “Leah, hold back just a bit. I’ll go get the blanket. We don’t want anybody to see anything.”

  This place never had people around, but I found a tree and hunched down to wait.

  Max hurried back with a large, red, fleece blanket. “I’m not sure what where going to do when we get back to your dorms, but this should work for now.” He half giggled.

  A light growl vibrated my throat to let him know it wasn’t funny.

  “OK, OK.” He put his two hands out. “It’s much easier to shift back to your human form than your wolf.” He took a step closer and winked. “You won’t need my help this time.”

  Flash backs of his lips on my mine flooded me. I grabbed the blanket in my mouth and turned to hit him with my tail before heading to a large tree for cover.

  First I thought about breathing and slowing down my racing heart, and then I started talking to myself. Think about being human. Just hours before, you walked on two legs. Breathe. As the wolf started vanishing, I reached for the blanket for clover. It wasn’t weather to be out in the nude, so I started back to the truck quickly. Human feet weren’t meant to walk without shoes, but I didn’t have to for long.

  “Nice robe you have there,” Max said as he whooshed me up into his arms in a cradle.

  “Ha ha, very funny! From now on I’ll be doing the packing.”

  “Does that mean you will be shifting again soon?”

  “I don’t know.” The pain of the transformation radiated in my eyes.

  “It will get easier. I don’t even feel it anymore. I think it has a lot to do with fear. The more you fight this part of yourself, the more your body fights the transformation. As soon as you accept and embrace who you are, the better it’ll be.” Max kept ahold of me while opening the passenger’s door to gently put me inside. “After we conquer your fear, we need to work on holding back your wolf so I can kiss you again.” He smiled and shuts the door.

  ***

  We pulled into a parking spot at my dorms and looked around to see how many people were near. “I think if I just keep the blanket wrapped up high, it’s long enough to cover my toes. No one will know I don’t have clothes on underneath.”

  “No one would even imagine someone walking around naked. They’d just think you’re cold and trying to keep warm.”

  “Right. OK, so I’m going.” Max and I both opened our doors and walk to the back of his truck.

  “I’ll find you later.” Max reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. I smiled and got lost in his eyes.

  “Leah!” Jared’s voice could be heard from across the parking lot.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  This could not get any worse.

  “You have to leave,” I said, turning back to Max, then back to Jared.

  A smile spread across his face. “Are you afraid to tell him you love me?”

  Love? Was he trying to make me squirm?

  “Later,” I told Max and walked toward the stairs of the dorm.

  “Leah, wait up,” Jared said.

  “Hey Jared. How’s it going?” I kept my pace steady.

  “Good. I wanted . . .” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Wait, slow down just minute. Where’re you going so fast?”

  “Just to my room. Sorry.” Getting there unnoticed was out of the question. I turned to face Jared. Why was Max still beside his truck staring? Or listening?

  “I miss you. You have been buried in school work and gone doing who knows what. I got mad because you aren’t being totally honest with me. But what I really want is to be there for you when you’re ready to talk. We haven’t been the same since we came here and that’s not like us. I’m not sure how this place changed things, but please don’t shut me out.”

  “I don’t mean to shut you out . . . Jared, can we talk about this later?” Maybe after I had clothes on.

  “Later? You don’t answer your phone, you’re never home, and when I finally catch you and try to be open, you shut me out again.” He looked over to where Max stood. “Then when I do find you, I see you coming out of a truck with another man. Not to mention you have a blanket around you.”

  “Jared, please. It’s cold outside.” I gestured to the blanket.

  “Who is he?” The dreaded question now lingered. “Leah, please. I don’t want to be lied to anymore. Not about this. I love you.”

  He deserved to know, but I
needed to tell him in my own time. To want to keep both men until it suited me was selfish, though. Love can be blind and can be felt at so many levels. This realization never hit me until Max came into my life.

  “I love you too, Jared. You’re my best friend. I’m sorry we haven’t talked like we used to. And you’re right there are a lot of things going on that I haven’t talk to you about. But I can’t. There is one thing I need to tell you, though. I just don’t want to hurt you.” I looked over toward Max, and Jared followed my gaze. “I’ve grown feelings for someone else. I’m not sure where it’s going, but I can’t be the same person you want me to be right now.”

  For a minute, Jared just stared over my shoulder. It tortured me to see his face so blank. “You like someone else?”

  “Here, let me go inside for a minute to grab something, and we’ll go out to dinner. We’ll talk. Wait here. I’ll be right back.” Jared remained a stunned statue, so I turned for my room in hopes he wouldn’t move.

  By the time I got a shirt over my head, Jared’s and Max’s voices came flooding to my ears. No way. Dressing quickly, I darted back down to the parking lot. I ran over to Jared arguing. People gawked as they passed.

  “Who are you really? What do you want from Leah?” Jared yelled.

  “Calm down, man. I’m just helping her out.”

  “With what? Who are you?”

  “You keep asking me that, and again I’m just a guy that happened to meet Leah.” Max put his hands up.

  I jumped in between them with my back toward Max. “Jared, let’s go out and get some dinner.” I put my hand on his arm, but he never released Max’s stare. “Please, let’s go.”

  “This isn’t over. I’m going to find out what you’re doing here and who you are. Leah has been with me for years, and she won’t just leave me for someone like you!” Jared finally gave into the pressure on his arm and followed me to my car. I had never seen him like that.