Certain Rules

by G. L. Snodgrass

  She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I think it’s going to have to be Star.” We chuckled because she was right. No other name would do.

  Star wobbled to his knees then to his shaky feet. He swayed back and forth as if he might fall over. My heart went out to him, I wanted to walk over and help keep him steady. Chrissy didn’t seem too concerned as she waited for him to get stable.

  He took a few hesitant steps finally grasped the concept and began to move more easily. He hurriedly made his way to his mother’s belly where he started pushing with his nose trying to find his first dinner. All three of us laughed at his antics.

  After a few minutes Scott said, “Let’s give them some peace. Mattie will check on them throughout the night. I can take you home, if you’re ready?”

  My heart stopped and my stomach dropped. I didn’t want to leave. Everything was so wonderful here, full of life and the drama was important not silly, useless things.

  Nodding my head I started to follow him out of the stall but turned and went back to give Chrissy a goodbye pat on her neck. I leaned in and whispered my thanks for letting me be there to share this wonder event. I think she understood because she looked into my eyes and winked as if to say the world’s a special place.

  A huge silver moon bathed the yard in bright light. The air outside had that crisp burning wood smell and nipped at my loose hair and warm cheek.

  “Mattie will kill me if I go inside with this messy shirt. Let me grab a shower then I’ll take you home,” he said as he pulled his shirt off for the second time that night.

  Yes most definitely, the world was a special place.

  Chapter Ten

  Scott

  Katie couldn’t stop smiling as I held the truck door open for her. She hopped in and buckled up as I made my way around the vehicle. This was going to be an interesting ride home, I thought. It would be the first time we were truly alone together. Just the two of us.

  God she looked good. The dashboard lights bathed her in a soft glow. Highlighting her gorgeous face and sending shivers up and down my spine. Those glasses and the form fitting coat that hugged her shape. Plus she’d put her hair into a high pony tail. It gave her a sexy prim look that tickled my insides to a flutter. Squeezing my heart a little.

  She’d pushed a wisp of her lustrous auburn hair behind her ears and flashed me a smile that thrust clear thru my heart. What was it about this girl?

  My gut tightened into a hard knot whenever I thought about her. It freaked me out a little to think about getting involved with someone again. There was no way I was going through that again. Gina had taught me a lesson I wouldn’t soon forget.

  My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as I tried to regain control of my emotions. She’s not like Gina I told myself in the understatement of the year. Katie’s soft and warm and an old fashioned sweet. It’s important to her that those she cares about are happy. It’s a different perspective. Gina wanted those around her to make her happy.

  It was like a nuclear explosion went off in my head when I realized the difference and all the signs that pointed to it. We always had to do what Gina wanted or her lips would curl into a frown and pout like a little girl. Danny, you pour slob, I thought and chuckled.

  “What?” Katie asked, as her eyebrows rose in question.

  “Nothing really,” I said. “So tell me, why’d you move in with your aunt? Southern California so boring you had to come to our giant metropolis in the heartland of Nebraska to finding any action?”

  The smile dropped from her face and she scrunched into the corner like a trapped rabbit facing a hungry mountain lion. My heart stopped and adrenalin pumped through my muscles. What had I done? “Jesus Katie, I’m sorry. It was just an innocent question. You can tell me to mind my own business, or better yet. To shut up and leave you alone.”

  She relaxed a little and gently shook her head. She stared off through the window at the black night for a movement. “My mom’s in jail, prison,” she said. It was like someone had let the air out of a balloon as she shrunk in on herself and hunched up waiting for an explosion.

  Wow, I hadn’t expected that. My heart went out to her, she looked so lost, so hurt. My god what had that been like, especially for a girl like Katie. I could just imagine how her friends had acted. She’d been through all that and still voluntarily helped me.

  “Prison? Did she hurt you?” I asked as I held my breath waiting for an answer. My heart turned over at the thought of anyone ever hurting this girl.

  “She’s doing two to five years for prostitution.” Katie continued. That scared rabbit look was back as she watched me and waited for my reaction.

  I shook my head in shock then furrowed my brow in confusion. Prostitution? That seemed a long time, but what do I know. Katie saw may confusion and said, “Yeah, I know, it is a long time. That’s what they do when you get arrested six times and convicted for the third.”

  “Wow, are you okay, I can imagine that was all pretty hard on you.”

  She let out a long sigh then looked at me with tears in her eyes. They sat on the edge ready to spill at the slightest disturbance. She nodded and said, “Yeah, I’m fine, it’s all behind me now.” Her eyes looked up to the truck roof. And I knew she was lying. It had to have been the first time she’d ever lied to me.

  Jack’s convenience store was coming up and I pulled into the parking lot. Parked and turned the engine off before putting my arm over the back of the bench seat and turning to look at her. Her eyebrows had risen half way up her forehead as she questioned what I was doing.

  “I didn’t want to get in a wreck, besides. I can’t take you home like this. Your aunt will think I tried something.”

  She laughed “Yeah, like you’d ever try anything. I’d kick your butt and you know it.” She got all serious on me again like turning a light switch. “You’re the first person I’ve ever told. My Aunt Jenny knows because the social worker told her. She’s never questioned me about it, she let me know the first night she was available if I wanted to talk. But it wasn’t something I could ever bring up. I was way too embarrassed.”

  That wasn’t all of it, something happened to her somewhere along the way, something real bad. She turned away from me to watch a young family leave the dinner. The man was dressed in jeans and a button down shirt with a suede leather coat. The woman wore a dress and puffy parka. Each of them held the hand of a little girl in pig tails. I don’t know why I was paying attention to them except they’d captured Katie’s fascination. She stared and started talking. It was like somebody had opened a hose as it all rushed from her.

  “It was never something I knew about growing up. I was twelve before I realized what was going on. I thought everybody’s mom would get calls in the middle of the night and take off for a couple of hours. When I was little she’d leave me with Mrs. Alverez. By the time I was about eight, Mrs. Alverez moved back to Mexico and Mom just left me alone. The times Mom was gone for more than a day or two I’d hang out at Mrs. Caluchi’s house. Social services never knew I existed. Mrs. Alverez was illegal, no way was she calling the government. Mrs. Caluchi hated the government and wouldn’t have called them if her house was on fire.”

  My heart squeezed shut thinking about a little girl growing up in that kind of home. I used to think I had it bad with Grandfather. I had to give him credit. He was always there when we needed him. We never had to worry about who would take care of us.

  “The last time, some things happened,” She said. She shuddered as if a ghost had walked across her grave. She shook it off and continued. “Anyway, the authorities learned about my existence and tracked down Aunt Jenny. I didn’t even know I had an aunt.”

  “What about your dad?” I asked.

  She gave me that familiar lost patient from the asylum look and snorted. “I never knew my dad. Until today I figured he was some john with a broken condom.”

  “What happened today?” I asked and twisted in my seat. This was getting interesting.r />
  “On the way to your guy’s house my Aunt Jenny mentioned something that made me realize my mom was probably pregnant with me before she left town. She was only sixteen.” Katie lifter her hand to her mouth and gasped. “My god, she was a year older than Mattie. Two years younger than me.”

  The mention of Mattie and her mother’s situation in the same sentence made my stomach clench up into a knot. Raising a kid on your own had to be tough. Doing it without social services or welfare had to have been hell on both the mom and the kid.

  “I can’t believe I am telling you all of this,” she said.

  “You know Katie I like listening. That way I don’t have to do the talking. Besides, if you ever need it, I have big shoulders

  .o0o.

  Katie

  Scott seemed to be taking it pretty well. I couldn’t read him but he wasn’t throwing me out of the truck so it was something. There is an unspoken rule for kids. Your parents should be respectable. Even when teenagers bitch and complain about how bad their parents are and how they’ll never be like that when they have kids. Still, deep down, it is important their parents be respectable, that they not bring shame on the family. That’s the kid’s job.

  My hands were clasped together in my lap like eagle talons. My hair had fallen in front of my face but I couldn’t let go long enough to push it out of the way. The handy wipe packet in my front pocket was burning a hole into my leg, demanding to get out and clean away the shame. But still I couldn’t move.

  “I’ve got a couple of questions,” Scott said.

  My heart jumped into my throat, here it comes. “Okay,” I whispered.

  “What’s your middle name,” he said like he was asking the time of day. “Mine’s O’Brian, not Brian, but O’Brian. It was my mom’s maiden name. It always gets screwed up on the school district paperwork. Someone thinks I don’t know my own middle name and changes it. I sort of like it though. Different you know.”

  My eyes bugged out, what did that have to do with what I’d been talking about? Did he hear what I said?

  “I already know your favorite desert is cheesecake,” he said with a smile.

  My brain was floundering around trying to figure out what was going on. I gave up and answered, “Sharri, Katherine Sharri Rivers. No reason, just a name.” I said trying not to look at him like he had three heads.

  He nodded, accepting my answer. “What’s your favorite color,” he continued as if we were passing the time of day. He stayed twisted towards me with his arm along the back rest. His eyes bore into me with curiosity. “No let me guess, green, forest green in fact.”

  “Yes, how’d you know,” I asked, more amazed that he’d noticed than how this conversation was going.

  “Oh your eyes are a green that reminds me of spring corn. And you wear a lot of green, it goes good with your hair. Okay, now tell me what your last school was like?”

  What could I tell him, that my last school was boring? Filled with people I didn’t know. How life was about keeping my distance. Not letting anyone know anything about me and my family. Maybe I should tell him how my stomach was in a permanent knot. Fearing what would happen when everyone found out what my mother was. I know, I could tell him that my biggest fear is some strange boy walking up to me in front of everyone waiving a bunch of twenties in my face and asking me to have sex for a hundred dollars.

  Instead I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. “It was your typical school, nothing special,” I said. I knew it wasn’t going to be enough when I said it.

  “Come on, you can do better than that. Was it fully of Barbie types and surfer dudes?”

  I laughed, “There were a few.”

  “What were your school’s dances like? Full blown formal affairs, like the prom every month. Or kicked back and informal, cutoffs and flip flops,” he said, his lips curled up in a smile.

  My shoulders relaxed a fraction and I shook the hair out of my face and shrugged my shoulders again. “I don’t know. I never went to any of the dances.”

  “You didn’t,” he said, his eyes opening wide. “I know you haven’t gone to any of them here. I would have noticed. Are you telling me you’ve never been to a high school dance?”

  My face grew warm and I shook my head no. What was so special about high school dances anyway?

  “Hmm, interesting, well in that case. Would you like to go with me to the dance in a couple of weeks? Everyone should go to at least one high school dance in their life. If anything, so they can see how awful they are and look back on them in happiness that they never have to do it again.”

  “Wow, you make it sound so romantic.”

  “Hey, I think I’m doing pretty good here. Don’t ruin the moment.” He said with a chuckle. Fear flashed through me, did he think I was easy. Was that why he asked me out. I suddenly realized that I was alone with him in a deserted parking lot. My heart raced for a moment.

  I looked at him again and knew that wasn’t what was going on. Scott wouldn’t treat a person that way. My heart melted right there and then. This boy had turned one of my most embarrassing and heart wrenching moments into a joyful memory. I knew that for as long as I lived I’d always treasure this conversation with him. For the first time there was a corner I could turn, an opportunity to start looking at life a little differently.

  I smiled back at him. His forehead was creased and his eyes were focused on mine. I realized he was nervous waiting for an answer. What must it have taken for him to put himself out there again? Especially so soon after being crushed by Gina.

  Nodding my head I said “Yes, I would like to go to the dance with you.” I immediately locked my eyes on the hands in my lap. Had I really just been asked out by Scott James, and said yes. My melted heart began to knit itself back together and I smiled to myself.

  He started humming to himself - It sounded like “Singing in the Rain.”- He twisted back around and started the truck.

  .o0o.

  We pulled into Aunt Jenny’s drive way, the truck felt so warm and toasty that I never wanted to leave. He turned the truck off and held out a hand to stop me opening my door. “Let me,” He said as he jumped out and ran around the front of the truck and opened my door holding out his hand to help me down. Obviously I didn’t need any help but I placed my hand in his and let him. An electric shock traveled up my arm at the speed of light and shot strait into my soul. My cheeks were starting to hurt I was smiling so much. He must think I’m some kind of freak.

  He held my hand as we continued to the door. I wondered if he would try to kiss me. God, what if he did and I freaked. Was I about to ruin this wonderful day. I stilled my heart and prepared myself. I could do this, I wanted to do this.

  He looked down and stepped next to me. He was so tall I really had to crane my neck back. His chocolate eyes pulled me in and I felt myself floating.

  “Thanks for the Christmas cookies,” his deep voice soothed my ruffled edges.

  It took me a moment to realize what he was talking about. It was all so long ago. I swallowed and nodded a “you’re welcome.” I couldn’t seem to make my lips work enough to speak.

  He continued to smile, started to lean forward. I felt it. Knew what was coming but he changed his mind and pulled back. “Goodnight Katharine,” he said with a sad smile then turned and walked back to his truck. I felt a hollowness surround me as he left. That old familiar loneliness crept back in. I sighed and stepped inside praying I could avoid Aunt Jenny long enough to get my tumbled thoughts together. Wow what a day, I delivered Christmas cookies to my friends, watched a horse get born, told Scott one of my deepest secrets and not only didn’t he run away screaming in the night, he asked me out to a dance. Okay, it was officially one of the greatest days of my life.

  My phone beeped in my pocket. I pulled it out and switched to the text screen. “Sweet dreams Katie, It was a great day.”

  My heart melted once again, it was getting to be a habit. Oh boy Katie girl, you’ve got it bad. I smiled to myself a
nd floated to my room.

  Chapter Eleven

  Scott

  ‘Singing in the rain’? You’ve got to be kidding me. Where did that come from? I asked myself as I made my way home in a haze. Why did you ask her out, what were you thinking? I hadn’t planned it, it bubbled up and burst out like a dam releasing overflow.

  Jesus what a screwed up life she had. It sucked and made me feel all sick inside every time I thought about her having to go through it. I will never forget what her face had looked like when she told me about her mother. The fear and shame had been etched deep into her furrowed brow.

  The porch light cast a yellow glow over the yard as I pulled in. I turned the truck off and slowly pounded my head into the steering wheel. What had I done and why? This was a road I hadn’t planned on taking and didn’t know for sure where it went. This girl’s got more baggage than an airport carrousel, I thought. However, admit it Scott, you can’t stop smiling. I was looking forward to the dance. I was looking forward to spending more time with Katie.

  Jumping out of the truck I made my way to the barn to check on Chrissy and her foal before heading in for the night. Grandfather leaned on the stall’s Dutch door watching the horses. He glanced up when I stepped into the barn and asked, “You get that girl home safe.”

  “Yes Sir,” I answered.

  He nodded his head and returned to watching the little colt. He appeared to be lost in thought. I couldn’t really blame him as I leaned against the door and watched the foal scamper around the stall. Chrissy took it all in stride and would occasionally nudge him with her nose and get him into the right position to feed.

  “I liked that girl, Katie, she reminded me of your mom.”

  Wow where did that come from? Grandfather was not known for offering unsolicited compliments about people.

  “I didn’t know you knew Katie’s aunt,” I said.

  “Who, Jenny Rivers. I’ve known her since she was a little girl. She and your dad dated for a while in High school. In fact there was a time I thought they might end up married, but then you dad went off to college and came back with your mom.”