Detour Complete Series

by Kacey Shea

  “I never slept with my lawyer,” he twists his hands together in a nervous movement.

  His admission is the splash of water I need to find my voice. Anger surges with the knowledge Austin’s been with lots of women. That he’s able to have sex without panic taking over. That he has a healthy—albeit leaning toward excessive—sexuality, and I’m nothing close to normal. “Yeah, I remember. She wasn’t on the list.” I bite the words out and give no other indication he has the power to shake me. I don’t like feeling weak, but somehow Austin pulls it out of me.

  “That’s fair.” He nods but his gaze never leaves mine, as if he’s searching for something. “I just want to be clear. We good? Because I feel like we’re not.”

  “Everything’s fine.” But it’s not. Not even a little. It doesn’t matter whether I want him or not. Or that the message meant for me in our latest video melts the shield around my heart. I won’t be able to do anything about it—not without being completely vulnerable, and that would shatter what control I’ve gained. My mental health is more important, and I won’t put that at risk. Even for him. I shove my hands behind my back so he doesn’t see them shake.

  He stares, waiting, but when I don’t give him more he finally nods, his disappointment as clear as his gorgeous green eyes. He doesn’t say a word, simply turns and walks away. My rejection to his proffered olive branch steals the lightness from his steps.

  I did that. But instead of satisfaction or a sense of security, I’m left with the fear that maybe I pushed too far. I lived without Austin’s friendship for thirteen years, but something tells me I’ll be forever changed after this tour. I won’t survive without him this time. Even now as I push myself through the routine of pre-show security, it’s lonely as hell without the warmth of his smile or jabs of humor. I wanted to protect myself by not allowing him to get too close, but there’s a good possibility I already fucked that up.

  Why am I still fighting this force of attraction between us?

  I already know the answer, and it’s one I don’t like to think about or dwell on. I don’t get the luxury of having a normal relationship. I freak out when someone touches me wrong, or when a memory slams into the forefront of my mind. Guys don’t want me. I’m damaged goods. It’s deceiving because my scars don’t show on my body. They’re woven into the facets of my mind. Even I have the good sense to understand that as interested as he seems, there’s no way in hell Austin’s prepared for what that entails.

  128

  Austin

  I’m dying here. Hard up and rocking a case of blue balls that puts all dry spells to shame. I need to get off before I lose my goddamn mind. I need to sink my dick into Jayla’s slick, tight pussy. No, her mouth. Fuck, I’d be happy if she stroked me. Or better yet, I could stroke my dick while she gets herself off.

  But none of that is going to happen. Not tonight. Probably never. The stress of trying to be a better man or to be celibate for a woman who doesn’t return my affection is pointless. And I can’t keep running off to masturbate like a horny, pathetic teen, not when it doesn’t offer much relief. The minute I clean myself up and tuck my dick back in my pants, my entire body goes back to aching for her.

  I’m acting like a pussy-whipped loser, and I am not that guy. No one finds that guy attractive. Jayla isn’t going to give me a medal, and waiting for her is pointless since she’s made herself perfectly clear. She doesn’t want me. Not in that way. After the video I posted last night and practically begged her to watch, I expected something. A kind word. A smile. Hell, I’d settle for a look in my direction. But if she’s watched it, she’s not impressed. It’s almost as if she’s actively avoiding me, going out of her way to be nowhere near me tonight. Which, frankly, is all the answer I need. It’s time to move on. Stop pining after a woman who wants nothing to do with me.

  So, tonight I’m resolving my problem the best I know how. I’m finding a consenting woman to fuck.

  It shouldn’t be difficult. This post-show party is packed with groupies, industry professionals, and the It list of Chicago’s social media influencers. There are plenty of hungry-eyed women who want to leave with a rock star. It’s their lucky night, because I’m in need of a warm body. All I need to do is pick one, lay on the charm, and presto, my temporary vow of chastity will be gone.

  Only, they’re all wrong. I scan the crowd of women searching for something to spark my interest but come up short. Sure, their skin is beautiful, but it’s the wrong tone. There’s no tempting dark chocolate, the kind I’ve come to adore. I look for curves, but all I find is flat asses and skinny legs. There’re no plump lips spouting fiery words, or eyes sharp with skepticism and truth, or hair as wild as it is beautiful. Right now, I couldn’t get it up for any of these women.

  That’s it. My dick is broken. Fuck my life.

  A hand clamps down on my shoulder. “Why do you look like someone pissed in your beer?” Sean tips his chin, raising two fingers to the bartender before turning his attention to me. Our other two bandmates are off in the crowd, mixing and mingling with their girlfriends, the lucky bastards. Jess’s flight is scheduled to land soon if it hasn’t already, but considering Sean’s next to me and not upstairs in his hotel suite, my guess is she’s not here yet.

  I take a long swallow of my beer and exhale the bad news. “My life is over.”

  “What?” Sean lets loose a chuckle, takes in my serious expression, and hands me a fresh beer from the bartender before leaning his back against the bar. “Tell me all your troubles, bro.”

  “I don’t want to fuck any of these women,” I admit begrudgingly, and lift my drink to my lips.

  He lifts his brow along with his lips. “Yeah? Me, neither.”

  “That’s ’cause you’re love drunk.”

  “What’s that exactly?”

  “Stupid, head over heels, committed to Jess. Which I respect, but that’s not my issue.”

  “No? What’s your problem, then?”

  Jayla.

  “Come on, motor mouth. Cat got your tongue?” he goads, and it’s the truth. I don’t have problems spilling my thoughts, or telling it how it is. He bumps his shoulder against mine. “Not that I’m complaining; it’s just a rare sighting. I’m not sure how to handle it.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” I mutter and lift my beer, feeling even more confused than before.

  “It’s her, isn’t it?” There’s amusement in his tone, as if he finds this funny. As if he finds it hilarious my dick can’t get up for a beautiful stranger and he knows exactly why. Asshole.

  “Who?” I turn to face him with a carefree expression even though I know damn well there’s only one woman he could be referring to.

  “So, it’s gonna be like that, is it?” He laughs and then tips his chin over my shoulder. He leans in close, motioning me to do the same as if he’s about to drop a secret. “She’s here, you know. Just walked in.”

  My entire body lights up with the news. My chest puffs up, my body tenses ready to make a move, and my dick throbs like it hasn’t spent the last hour in voluntary hibernation. But I need to play it cool. Fuck me, I can’t let her see how she’s gotten under my skin or stolen my game. I have my man card to protect.

  “You wanna look, don’t you?” Sean waggles his brows.

  I shrug, feigning nonchalance, and bring my drink to my lips, pretending for a moment they’re pressed against her warm skin and not a cold glass bottle.

  Sean laughs, but it dies as his stare comes to a halt at something across the room. For a second my pulse thuds with fear, but it’s quickly rectified.

  “And I’m out. Later, man.”

  “Wait, what?” I call after him, but he’s already pushing his way through the room. He’s like an animal claiming his prey, and good luck to any idiot who tries to stop him. “Some friend you are,” I grumble to myself as I watch Jess’s gaze find him stalking toward her. Her entire face lights up as if she’s just won a million dollars or been given the gift of her dreams, and I guess t
hat’s basically the same thing. They’re disgustingly romantic as he sweeps her into his arms, kisses the hell out of her, and then practically drags her back out the doors she just came through. Thank fuck we have our own rooms tonight. No way do I wanna listen to them banging.

  “What’s a guy like you doing alone in a party like this?” a smooth and candy sweet voice croons at my right. It’s the wrong tone, nothing like Jayla’s, but I turn to take her in regardless. Gorgeous long legs, toned and tanned. She’s blonde but not from a bottle. No, she’s actually beautiful and yeah, she wears makeup, but not so much her face appears fake.

  “I’m not alone. I’m drinking with fifty of my closest friends.” I tip my bottle in the air. I should ask her if she wants a drink, or call over the bartender, but my eyes catch Jayla’s staring from across the room and I can’t find it in me to care about anything else.

  This beautiful young thing doesn’t slink from my coolness, though. She only laughs, and surprisingly it’s not an annoying sound. It’s warm, inviting, and I dip my gaze to hers for another moment.

  “I’m Destiny.”

  Of course she is. Old me would ask if her destiny includes joining me in my bed. But those aren’t the words that come out of my mouth. Apparently my mouth is as broken as my dick. “I’m Austin.”

  “Yeah, I know.” She laughs again, the sound throatier this time. She leans forward, and I’m granted a very generous view of her cleavage.

  I look, because I can’t not, but my gaze snaps back over her shoulder searching for someone else. Only this time Jayla’s not looking. Her back is planted against the wall next to one of the guards, and her attention is solely on him. He talks to her with a too friendly grin on his lips and I suddenly feel the urge to punch it off of his face. Who the fuck does he think he is? He better not be hitting on her.

  “Austin.” Destiny inches closer, her lips practically on my ear now. She doesn’t seem to care that I’m not fully invested. Or maybe she thinks I’m playing hard to get. “How about we get out of here? Spend a little time in your hotel room. I’ll let you do dirty things to me while I play with your cock.”

  Well, that gets my attention. Or at least my dick’s. He’s not totally broken. Phew. That’s a relief, but it’s short-lived, because as this woman pulls back, a Cheshire grin forms on her lips and I just know I can’t go through with it. Not with Jayla on my mind.

  “I don’t think so. Not tonight.” As soon as the words leave my lips, my dick fully retreats, and I’m not sure whether he’s more upset at this turn of events, or relieved we’re not gonna pretend Destiny is Jayla.

  “You sure?” Destiny’s brows rise and she’s shocked at my refusal. In all honesty, so am I. She’s supermodel gorgeous, and I doubt she ever gets turned down. Another night and I’d be salivating after her like a little puppy. But I only have eyes for one woman . . . and said woman is glaring daggers into the back of Destiny’s head at this very moment.

  Interesting. Either this lady hitting on me is a real threat to security or Jayla doesn’t like the idea of me hooking up with her. Jealousy is a powerful tool, one I didn’t think to use until this moment.

  I lean forward to drop a chaste kiss on Destiny’s forehead and flash her a smile. “Sorry, I’m not interested.”

  Destiny’s eyes widen wildly at the finality of my words. Shit. They came out arrogant and more asshole-ish than I intended. She flips her hair across her bare shoulder. “Your loss.”

  “I’m sorry, I—” The excuse dies on my lips. I’d do you, but I’d have to pretend you’re someone else.

  Her brow rises and the hardness in her gaze challenges me to continue stuffing my foot in my mouth.

  “Sorry.” I sound like an idiot. I feel like one too. A month ago I wouldn’t have apologized to any woman. A month ago I would have hauled this girl over my shoulder, slapped her barely clad ass, and had my wicked way with her.

  “Whatever,” she says, annoyed and put out by my rejection.

  “It’s not personal.” I try for nonchalant and shrug, but clearly that’s wrong.

  “Yeah, and karma’s a real bitch.” Her hands ball into fists as though she’s holding back her impulse to strike out physically. I almost wonder whether she will, but she must think otherwise and turns, walking all the way across the room and out the main doors.

  My gaze searches the room, wanting—no, needing—to find Jayla, if only to observe her reaction to the spectacle I caused. But she’s not here.

  “Looking for someone?” Trent saunters up with a beer in his hand. “’Cause your lay for the night just left in a huff. Not sure that you noticed.”

  “What?” I say, more irritated that I can’t find Jayla anywhere.

  “Oh, right. You didn’t notice the seething unicorn who just left the building. The one talking to you?” He laughs and slaps me on the back. “What did you say to her? It had to be absolutely horrid because she was totally into you otherwise. I thought for sure you’d be taking her back to your room.”

  “Why are you still talking?” I glance over his shoulder, but only find Lexi chatting with her sister. “And where the hell did Jayla go?”

  “Dude. No.” The smile falls from Trent’s lips and he shakes his head. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” I bark back more irritated than I should.

  “No fucking with Jayla. Not when we’ve just got things going good again.”

  “Jayla doesn’t want to fuck me.” I hate the truthfulness of the words.

  “Wow.” His eyes widen and he pushes his hair back from his face. “I don’t believe it. I never thought I’d see the day.”

  I scan the crowd again, but I lost her. Jayla is gone. My gut clenches with disappointment. So much for my attempt at provoking jealousy. I finish my beer with one last long pull and rub my temples after I slam the bottle back onto the bar. “What the fuck are you yammering about?”

  “You like her. You like-like her. You turned down a sure thing because you only want Jayla.”

  “Fuck you.” The fact he sees through my bullshit leaves me rattled, that and he’s exactly right.

  He laughs and I swear Lexi hones in on the sound, circling up to our spot at the bar with Opal and Leighton in tow.

  “What’s so damn funny?” Lexi grins.

  “Austin. And the fact he’s being cock blocked by his own head.”

  “Wait, what?” Lexi leans in close. “This I need to hear.”

  “You are all fucking idiots.” I stare at their expectant gazes. The fact I’m talking to two happy couples only irks me further. “You think you have it so good with your person. All the support, and love, and fucking ‘how was your day?’ crap.”

  “Bro, how much did you drink?” Leighton chuckles.

  “I bet you pity me, don’t you”—I should walk away, or shut up, but now that I’ve started, I can’t seem to stop—“with your whispered little love secrets? Look at him. Poor guy. Doesn’t have anyone to share his hopes and dreams.”

  Trent just raises an eyebrow.

  “Well, fuck y’all anyway!” I throw up my hand and then pound my chest to drive my rant home. “I’m the smart one. I’ve got it all figured out. Last man standing. I should get a fucking award.”

  “More like last one to fall,” Leighton mutters but we all hear him clearly.

  “It’s a long way down from where you’re sitting.” Lexi crosses her hands over her chest, her brows raised incredulously. “I hope you brought a parachute.”

  “I’m standing.” I widen my stance. “And I’m not falling for anyone.”

  “Mmm hmm.” Opal takes a sip of her water, but she won’t meet my eyes.

  “Keep telling yourself that.” Trent slaps his hand on my shoulder. “Might even make it true.”

  “Whatever.” I push off the bar, not willing to be their entertainment for the evening. “This is bullshit. I’m out.”

  “Oh, come on, lonely boy!” Trent shouts. “Don’t bail. We’re just having fun.”


  I flip them the bird but don’t turn back. I’m tired of this party anyway, and Jayla isn’t here. I wish I knew where the fuck she went. Isn’t that her job, to keep us safe? How the hell is she gonna do that if she’s nowhere to be found?

  I walk out into the hotel lobby and when I don’t find her here, a sliver of worry that something bad happened works into my mind. That’s the reason I pull my cell out to text her. At least, that’s the lie I tell myself.

  Me: You okay?

  I walk to the bank of elevators, my stride lazy and my gaze on my screen.

  “Mr. Jones. Heading up to your room?” Ray, I think that’s his name, says low and rough as he hits the call button for the elevator. He’s on the security team and though I’ve never said more than two words to the guy, he always nods in greeting when we pass.

  “Yeah,” I say, remembering how Jayla asked we all request a security escort before heading back to our rooms. Fuck that. I’m not a baby. I don’t need anyone to witness me slinking back to my bedroom alone—like a loser—so early in the evening only to report my actions back to Jayla later. How pathetic. “Forgot something in my room. I’ll be back down.”

  He nods, holding the door open for me as I step inside. “Terrance is walking the halls if you need him. Or if you decide to stay in.”

  “Thanks, man,” I say, but I don’t like the way he hints at me staying in, as if he sees through my bullshit but won’t completely call me on it.

  I step into the elevator as my phone buzzes.

  Jayla: Working. What’s up?

  I don’t want to sound like a whiny bitch, but . . . fuck it. I step into the empty elevator and lift my room card to the sensor before pressing the top floor.

  “Hold the door, please!” Before the doors shut, two women race to step inside. Ray stops them, but one of the woman shoves her ass against the open door, halting it from closing. Great. They giggle, talking in hushed tones to Ray, but I can feel their eyes on me. Normally, that’d be enough for me to lift my gaze and smile. Maybe flirt. But I’m most interested in why Jayla left the party and where she’s working.