The Knight's Maiden in Disguise

by Ella Matthews

  She heard William’s footsteps falter behind her before he caught up with her again. Perhaps she should not have told him that. It was something she kept to herself—not even her younger brothers knew the full circumstances of Aven’s death.

  William would have more questions, he always did.

  ‘You never did tell me what the Baron did to your brother. Will you tell me now?’

  Down this side of the keep, the darkness was so complete Avva could not see what was directly in front of her. She ran her fingers along the rough stone wall, searching for the side entrance.

  ‘Avva.’

  Her fingers touched wood and she stopped to grope for a handle. William reached out and grasped hold of her hand, stopping her movements. His hand was warm and dry around hers.

  ‘You cannot leave it there, Avva, I want to know what Caerden is capable of. Please tell me.’

  Avva took a deep shuddery breath. She could do this. She could talk about her darkest days—perhaps her heart would be lighter for telling the whole story. Lord knew it could not feel worse.

  ‘Caerden and Barwen like to hunt.’ She swallowed. Telling this story was harder than she’d anticipated. The terror she always experienced whenever she thought about this dreaded event, the fright experienced by all of the townsfolk, gripped her even though it wasn’t happening right now. William’s thumb brushed the underside of her wrist, giving her the courage to carry on. ‘Sometimes, when there are not enough animals around, they send some of the villeins into the woods and tell them to run. They made...well, Aven was quite often one of them. Aven was fast and agile and always eluded Caerden and the other nobles until the time he didn’t.’ William’s hand tightened on hers, pulling her towards him. She leaned her head against his chest, drawing comfort from the warmth of him. ‘Most of the time those captured only receive a pummelling. Nobody wants to be beaten up, but mostly young men are chosen for the hunt and they are fit and healthy enough to recover eventually. On this particular hunt Caerden and Barwen caught Aven. Barwen said something to Caerden, something to taunt him. Caerden didn’t like that. He took his anger out on Aven, lashing out with a knife and cutting him in several places. They left him there and it took me a while to find him. By then, it was too late and an infection had already set in. Aven was unlucky.’

  A long moment passed, Avva concentrated on the rise and fall of William’s chest. That was what mattered now, the living man in front of her. She had cried enough for Aven.

  ‘What did Barwen say?’ asked William eventually.

  Avva pulled away from him—it turned out she wasn’t ready to tell William everything yet. She wasn’t sure she would be able to bear the look of disgust on his face when he realised Caerden was her half-brother. Once he knew, he couldn’t unknow it. Could she really trust him with her deepest secret? Her heart told her that she could, even that she should, but her head argued that this was too much. Why share something so personal with someone who didn’t, and couldn’t, love her? ‘Look, we don’t have all evening to get you into position. You need to let go of me so that we can move on.’

  William said nothing and he didn’t let go of her hand.

  Avva tugged herself free. ‘We need to go.’

  This time she found the handle with no trouble and the wooden door swung open easily. She heard William inhale as if he was about to speak again so she stepped into the dark interior of the castle. Any more confessions could wait. A drop of icy water landed on her forehead and she shuddered. ‘This passage is only used by the scullery boys and they’ll be busy with the evening repast.’

  ‘Why is this corridor unlit?’ William’s voice was gravelly, a tone Avva hadn’t heard before running through it.

  ‘Caerden wouldn’t want to waste candles on the boys.’

  ‘Don’t they come to harm this way?’

  ‘Of course they do. That’s not something Caerden bothers himself with. I thought that would be obvious to you by now.’

  William followed Avva silently, but she was sure she could hear a low rumble as if he were growling. As they got deeper into the keep the clanging and shouting of the busy kitchen at work grew louder.

  ‘Is there a way to avoid going through the kitchen?’

  Avva stopped in her tracks, bristling at his words. ‘I’ve kept you hidden for days and brought you into the castle through a side door, but, yes, I’m now going to make you walk through the kitchen where everyone can see you.’

  Behind her, William chuckled. The sound nestled close to her heart. He took a step closer to her, his breath brushed along the sensitive skin of her neck. She resisted the urge to lean back into him.

  ‘Sorry,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘I didn’t mean to make it sound as though you don’t know what you are doing. I’m not used to depending on another person.’

  His apology melted her irritation. She turned slightly towards him. ‘There is a way around the kitchen. We will need to be quick and quiet.’

  ‘I trust you.’

  She was glad of the dark as her cheeks warmed under his praise. Without another word she set off down the remainder of the dark corridor. As they turned a corner, light from the kitchen spilled out on to the corridor ahead. She came to a pause just before the first pool of light. ‘This is where it gets dangerous. Normally, I would walk into the kitchen now and take some food. I don’t often meet anyone, but that’s not to say it can’t happen.’

  ‘Then we’ll be quick and quiet.’

  She nodded, taking in a deep breath. ‘Let’s go.’

  They walked quickly without speaking. A loud crash from the kitchen had Avva throwing herself against the wall. William’s hand flattened against her lower back, urging her on. Her heart pounding, she forced her legs to move. ‘That’s it,’ whispered William. ‘Keep going.’

  She barely breathed until they rounded another corner and were once more plunged into darkness.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  Avva’s whole body began to tremble. ‘I...’

  William pulled her into his arms. ‘You’re shaking.’ He held her tighter. ‘This is too much for you. I should never have involved you. Please go back to the stables. I can manage from here.’

  She shook her head against his chest. ‘I’m fine. I’m staying with you.’

  ‘Avva...’

  ‘Don’t argue or I won’t tell you which way to go.’

  ‘I could work it out from here.’

  ‘I’d still follow you.’

  He laughed and she realised he’d known exactly what to say to calm her down. She was no longer trembling, his words had taken her mind off her fear. Something strange shifted inside her as she realised just how well he had come to know her. She knew she should get moving, but she was reluctant to pull herself out of his arms. One large hand smoothed the length of her spine and she arched into him. He grunted as her body connected with his and she stepped back quickly. ‘I’m sorry, I forgot you were hurt.’

  He let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a groan. ‘That’s not why I... I’m fine. Let’s get moving again.’

  She turned back, her cheeks warm even though she wasn’t sure why.

  ‘His room isn’t far now. Just up this staircase and a little bit along. What’s the plan when we get there?’

  ‘The plan is for you to leave me there and return to the stables.’

  ‘We’ve been through this. I’m not leaving you unless there is some danger to my life. Now tell me, what are we going to do?’

  She heard his deep sigh, but he didn’t say anything more about her leaving. ‘I plan to wait in Caerden’s room until he turns up. When he does I shall make him reveal his plan to me and then...’

  ‘And then?’

  ‘And then, we shall see.’

  ‘Are you going to kill him?’

  There was a long pause, so long tha
t Avva didn’t think he was going to answer. ‘I might have to. Is that a problem for you?’

  Avva reached the top of the flight of stairs and stopped outside a wooden door. ‘Only if you make me leave.’

  William gently moved her out of the way. ‘Understood. But please let me enter this room first. We don’t know if he’s decided not to attend the meal in the Great Hall this evening. If we find him waiting in there, I’d far rather it was me he saw first than you.’

  Avva allowed herself to be gently pushed to one side. She wanted to see this through to the end, but she’d prefer to come out of it alive. She wanted the opportunity to live in a world where Caerden wasn’t a constant threat.

  Now that this series of events was set in motion it was possible, even probable, that Caerden would meet his death. With his ending Avva would finally have justice for Aven’s death. Perhaps this wasn’t the most Christian thought to be having about her half-brother, but Caerden had caused so much pain and suffering for so many families, including her own, that she doubted anyone would be saddened by his passing.

  The sound of the handle turning reverberated around the corridor. William glanced down at her and shrugged. If Caerden was inside, they had just lost the element of surprise. William pushed the door open fully and entered the room before Avva had truly realised what was happening. She scurried after him. Apart from William, the chamber was blessedly empty. William was standing a few steps into the room, a thick frown crossing his brow.

  ‘This room makes me incandescent with rage.’ William’s fists were tightly clenched and he was staring at a thick rug as if it had done him a great wrong.

  Avva stared down at it, but she couldn’t see what was making William so angry.

  ‘Caerden has so much wealth and yet those who depend on him are starving. It’s not right.’

  A strange sensation began to unfurl around Avva’s heart. It was as if her heart was expanding, filling up her chest until there was no room left for anything else. This strange new emotion was directed at William—his protectiveness was making her experience something she had never felt before.

  He turned to her. ‘Is everything all right?’

  Her throat felt tight, she didn’t trust herself to speak. She nodded wordlessly and moved further into the chamber. A large table took up a big portion of the room and she ran her fingers over the golden spine of the bible resting on its top. She wondered if Caerden had ever opened the book—he certainly had never shown any sign of having any Christian spirit.

  She swallowed a few times. The blockage in her throat appeared to have passed, but she knew herself to be irrevocably changed somehow.

  ‘Will you wait for Caerden in plain sight or will you hide?’ she asked to fill the strange silence that was building between them.

  William tapped a long finger against his chin. ‘I think it would be best to hide from him to start with. I always find information obtained under threat of torture to be less reliable than information freely given. He may talk to his cronies and reveal more of his plan.’

  Avva pressed a hand to her stomach. She’d known William’s world was a violent one, but hearing him talk so calmly of torture made her stomach turn.

  ‘Avva.’ She looked up at him. He was smiling gently at her. ‘There’s no need to look so stricken. I do not torture people as a general rule. Now, I think the best place to wait is behind this arras in the large window seat. It’s unlikely he’ll head straight over here so it should buy us some time. Besides...’ William pulled the arras back, revealing a deep alcove ‘...it will be more comfortable than crouching behind the chair.’

  He smiled at her again and her heart fluttered. She had no idea what that meant, but she didn’t think the sensation was a good one. Oh, it felt lovely right now. It was as if her heart was taking flight and the world was a much brighter place just for his smile. She had a horrible feeling, though, that these strange new emotions settling on her were something much deeper. That it wasn’t just an appreciation for the way he made her body react when he touched her.

  She brushed past him and moved into the alcove. The space was lined with cushions and soft rugs. She settled herself close to the window and looked out of the milky glass. She could just make out the faint outline of the crescent moon. She touched her fingers against one of the panes, her fingertips resting lightly against it. ‘I’ve always wanted to know what glass feels like. It’s colder than I imagined.’

  William dropped the arras back into position, making sure the material hung low beneath the edge of the alcove opening, as it had before they had entered the room.

  The space seemed a lot smaller now that his bulk filled it up. This close she could smell him, that delicious mixture of outdoors and male. She kept her gaze on the window, not trusting herself to be so near him and not reveal the new emotions and sensations that were swirling about inside her.

  ‘Avva.’ A small thrill shot through her at the sound of her name on his lips.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Will you look at me, please?’

  She turned her head. He was so close, his large brown eyes looking directly into hers. She only had to lean forward and their lips would be touching. She tucked her fingers under her thighs to stop herself from doing anything foolish.

  ‘Avva.’ He glanced down at her mouth and she knew he was thinking along the same lines as her. She had to stop him before they both succumbed to the madness that had gripped them earlier. It would be blissful, but she knew that was all they could ever share. A man in William’s position would never marry her. And an unwanted baby would only make her like her mother, an outcast until some man took her on, a man who wouldn’t want to be saddled with another man’s bastards and who would not treat her kindly. If she kept that thought to the forefront of her mind, she should be able to resist the temptation of him.

  William moved towards her, his lips slightly parted, her heart hammered in her throat. She had to stop this before it began.

  ‘Baron Caerden is my brother.’

  William froze. ‘What?’

  ‘Not my full brother. Only Aven was that. Caerden is my half-brother. We have the same father.’

  William rocked back as if punched. ‘I don’t understand.’

  Avva laughed, although she felt no humour. ‘It’s fairly simple, William. I imagine it happens all over the country. The late Baron took a shine to my mother, a couple of years after his marriage to his wife, the late Baroness. According to my mother, he actually treated her with some level of affection, which was more than can be said for his later mistresses. Anyway, it was not like she had a choice. No one could say no to the Baron and not live to regret it. Aven and I are a product of that relationship. The Baron lost interest in her when she had two squalling babies. He married her off to my stepfather. I don’t think either of them were pleased with the arrangement.’

  ‘I see.’

  Avva pulled her fingers out from underneath her and twisted them together on her lap. She could see from the look on William’s face that she had killed any desire he had for her. She tried to remind herself to be glad, even as her heart ached.

  They sat in silence, the quiet almost a living, breathing entity filling the space between them.

  William slowly exhaled. ‘Does the current Baron acknowledge the kinship?’

  ‘No—well, sometimes he does. It depends on whether he wants to taunt me or not. Aven and I have hair exactly like him. It’s quite distinctive and impossible to deny really. That’s what Barwen was taunting Caerden about on the day he attacked my brother. That’s what caused Caerden to lash out. I think he was aiming for Aven’s face, but Aven was able to protect himself and Caerden only cut his arms and chest. I say only, but the wound killed him. When I turned up to work in Aven’s place, Caerden didn’t question it at all. I think he had forgotten the incident.’

  William nodded slowly.
‘I will enjoy gutting him like a pig.’

  Avva watched as a myriad of emotions crossed William’s face. He was angry, she could see that in his tensed jawline, but there was something else at play, something she didn’t understand.

  ‘I will enjoy watching you do so,’ she said eventually.

  William moved so fast, she didn’t see it. She only felt his fingers as they plunged deliciously into her hair. Where before there had been coaxing, this time there was only heat. She moaned as she opened her mouth and his tongue swept in.

  His hands skimmed over her, tracing the length of her spine, her hip, her calf. All her doubts and fears fled as the rough skin of his palm encircled the bare skin of her ankle. She only wanted to feel more, more of him, more of his skin touching hers, more of his beautiful body eliciting exquisite sensations within her.

  She wasn’t aware of it happening, but somehow she was lying down, half of his delicious weight resting on her. Her fingers traced the nape of his neck, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to touch the corded muscles of his back, to imprint the memory of what they felt like against her skin.

  His hand skimmed over her knee and across her thigh. The ache that had been building at her centre since they’d kissed earlier came rushing back. She pushed against him, silently pleading with him to ease it.

  He grunted and raised himself on to his forearms. She tried to tug him back down. His absence was not what she wanted. He smiled against her mouth as she realised his intent. He pulled her tunic from her, the rest of her garments followed quickly.

  Her bare skin was so sensitive, the slight press of his leather belt against her hip had her moaning in pleasure.

  ‘So beautiful,’ he murmured as he traced his lips along her jaw. ‘So perfect.’

  Avva had never felt beautiful or perfect before, but, right now with his mouth on her, she believed him.

  His mouth moved down her body, his stubble scratching against her soft skin, sending tingles sweeping through her in its wake. Her breath began to come in breathy, little moans. She had to pray that Caerden didn’t choose this moment to enter his private room because she could not keep quiet, not when this need was building inside her, becoming deeper with every heartbeat.