by Ivy Smoak
He nodded. “You look tired.”
“You look like shit too.”
He laughed. “Touché. I’m trying to land a new client who has these ridiculous requests. He’s impossible and I’ve been spending way too much time in the office.”
“I was at the office all day today too.” I could feel James staring at me, but I didn’t turn to him.
“A problem with one of your clients?” Mason asked.
“No. Just…catching up on some stuff.”
He nodded. It looked like he wanted to ask me another question, but instead, he took a sip of his drink.
I’d first learned to master my fake smile around my family. Mason had been really concerned about me after Brooklyn died. And I hadn’t wanted to talk about it. So I pretended I was fine. And I was pretty sure that he pretended that he thought I was fine. But it worked for us.
I lifted up the scotch they’d ordered me and tried to ignore how awkward it was that James hadn’t said a word since I’d arrived.
“Did you finish all those papers you had to grade?” I finally asked him, hoping to break the awkward silence.
“Yup,” James said, his eyes trained on me. But he surprisingly didn’t look mad at all. If anything, he looked…happy?
Why did he look so happy? I was pretty sure it was because he was about to try to break my nose.
“How was the game last night?” James asked.
“Good. We won again. Undefeated so far.” I stared at him, waiting for him to punch me in the face or something, but he just smiled. Weird. “It might be fun if you guys came to a game one of these days.”
“The Untouchables back at it again?” Rob said and slung his arm around my neck before hugging James and doing a weird handshake with Mason.
No one called us the Untouchables anymore. Not after we all realized that we weren’t untouchable back in high school. That real life could break through a good last name and an exorbitant amount of money. I’d learned the lesson the hardest.
“Sorry I’m late,” Rob said. “I swear RJ is actually aiming to kill me. Whenever I change his diaper it’s like a freaking golden shower.”
We all laughed, but I was pretty sure Mason and I looked more horrified than anything. We were the only ones without kids. Rob’s hair still looked wet and I had so many questions.
“I have so many questions,” Mason said, reading my mind.
“Right,” I said. “The most important being…did you shower after your kid’s golden shower or…”
“Of course I took a shower. RJ hit me right in the face.” He shook his head but he was smiling. “Straight shot into my left nostril.”
I laughed. “Why do you seem proud of that?”
“I think it means he’s going to be great at whatever sport he chooses. Don’t you think most kids just spray everything all over? My boy zeroes in on a target and hits it. He’s a total baller.”
James laughed. “Smart kid.”
Rob nodded. “I bet Liam just pisses all willy nilly without true purpose.”
“Well, I’ll tell you one thing. My son has never pissed in my face. I consider that a win.”
I had to agree with James on this one.
“Whatever,” Rob said. “Just wait until RJ makes varsity and Liam gets cut. Now enough about piss and back to Matt’s game. We really should all go to one. It would be fun.”
“I’m pretty busy on the weekends,” James said. Even though we were all sitting here together with nothing else to do on a Saturday night. But even as he said it, he still didn’t look pissed at me.
What was his game here? I’d snuck around behind his back with his wife. He should have been threatening to kill me by now. I shrugged. “Most of the games are on Fridays.” I didn’t really care if they came to my games though. And I also didn’t expect them to.
“Maybe we can come to the next one,” Rob said. “Geez, I haven’t stepped foot in Empire High since graduation. I bet the girls would like a tour. Do you think you can arrange for us to walk around the school?” he asked me.
“Yeah, probably.” As long as Jefferson stops putting dings in the principal’s car.
“Well, let us know. Even if James and Mason can’t make it, I’m sure I can convince Daphne to come with me. It would be fun. And it would be nice to have a familiar face in the crowd, huh?”
James didn’t mention the fact that Penny had already been to one of my games. And I wasn’t going to mention it either. I cleared my throat. “My parents come to some of the games. And Tanner always comes.”
“Tanner?” Rob shook his head. “Psh. That guy.”
I laughed. “I really don’t understand what you have against him.”
Rob stared at me like I was insane. “He’s just so…Tannery.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I know you guys don’t believe me, but I swear I’ve seen him rocking a man bun walking around the city in a neon green tux. And these weird little goblin shoes.”
“Goblin shoes?”
“The ones with the curvy tops.”
“Elf shoes?” James offered.
“Whatever you want to call them. Weird little goblin elf shoes. The guy is clearly bonkers,” Rob said.
“I’ve only ever seen him in normal colored tuxedos,” I said. “And normal shoes. And I don’t think his hair is long enough for a man bun.” The sides of Tanner’s head were shaved, and even though his hair was long on the top, I’d never even seen him touch it, let alone pull it into a bun.
“It was him. I swear it was. He’s up to something sketchy, I’m telling you.”
“Of course he’s up to something sketchy,” Mason said. “He owns Club Onyx.”
“But you didn’t strut around in weird clothes when you owned it,” Rob said. “I’m telling you, Matt, I really don’t think you should be hanging out with him. The guy’s hiding something.”
I laughed. “Yeah, it’s like Mason said. He is hiding something. Club Onyx is literally a secret club.”
“I’m not talking about Club Onyx. He’s hiding something else. I’m sure of it. And I think it would be best if you stopped seeing him.”
“Stopped seeing him? What are you, my mom?”
“Nah, I’m not as good of a cook as Mrs. Caldwell.”
No, he most definitely was not. “Could you just try to be nice? Tanner’s supposed to join us tonight.” I looked over my shoulder to see if he’d arrived yet. Tanner was rarely late, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“You invited him here?” Rob sighed. “To hang out with us? So much for a fun night.”
“Rob, give him a chance,” Mason said. “Yeah, he’s a little different, but he’s a nice guy.”
Rob mumbled something under his breath.
James cleared his throat and turned to me. “Help me grab another round, Matt?”
I looked down at his glass that was still full. I’d been waiting for him to pull me to the side and threaten me to stay away from his wife. Might as well get it over with. “Sure.” I followed him to the bar.
He didn’t say a word as he waved down the bartender for our order.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
His fingers drummed along the top of the bar like he was nervous. “You could have come to me, you know.”
“For…” I had no idea where he was going with this. To ask his permission to fuck Penny? That was a pretty weird request. Were they swingers? Or was he talking about something else?
“I used to be your wingman,” he said.
“That was a long time ago.” James hadn’t been my wingman since we were teenagers. Rob had been more of my wingman before he’d met his wife. Now my only wingman was Tanner. And why did everyone I know keep wanting to insert themselves into my lack of a love life?
“It doesn’t mean I couldn’t help you with this stuff now,” he said.
I didn’t need help. Especially his help.
The bartender dropped off our drink order, but James didn’t move to go back to th
e table.
“Is Penny really the best person to ask for help with this?” James asked. “She doesn’t really know anything about what you’ve been through.”
What I’ve been through? That was a very cordial way to say that my fiancée had died. But I knew he was implying more than just that. Penny was one of the only people in my life that hadn’t met Brooklyn. Penny didn’t know I was in love once. She didn’t know I had been engaged. She didn’t know about any of it.
I picked up my fresh drink and took a hearty sip. “No one knows what I’ve been through. And that includes you.”
“Matt.” He didn’t say anything else. He just lowered his eyebrows at me as I took another sip of my drink. Like he was worried that I was an alcoholic or something. Hadn’t he gotten the memo? That was him.
“I really don’t want to talk about this.” I took another sip.
“You don’t want to talk about dating? Or Brooklyn?”
Hearing her name out loud felt like a punch in the gut. Great, he was here for me now. But he hadn’t been there for me when I’d needed him to be. He’d flirted with Brooklyn behind my back. He’d kissed her. He’d fucking proposed to her. He didn’t get to stand here and pretend he had my back when his favorite pastime in high school was stabbing it. “I’m not talking about her with you.”
“It’s been 16 years.”
“It doesn’t feel like that long ago to me.” It felt like yesterday when I’d held her in my arms. I downed the rest of my drink and waved the bartender over to top me off. James was the only one of my friends that ever tried to talk to me about Brooklyn. We’d all made a promise not to bring her up until I said I was ready. James kept breaking that promise a few times every year. I wasn’t ready twelve years ago, or five, or fucking now. We both knew that he didn’t really care.
James still didn’t touch his drink. “Penny said that you told her you wanted to settle down. Is that really what you want?”
I wanted a lot of things I could never have. But mostly I wanted out of this conversation. “I’m not going to talk about this with you.”
“But you’ll talk to my wife?”
I clenched my jaw.
“That’s fine. If you think she can help you move on, I want that for you.”
He was supposed to be mad at me right now. Not overly caring. “So you don’t care if I hang out with Penny one on one for hours at a time?” I was purposely pushing his buttons and I didn’t know why. Maybe I was the one that wanted to fight.
“I was under the impression that Tanner would be there now too. But when you put it like that…” he shook his head. “What do you want me to say, Matt? That I’ll fucking kill you if you ever touch her again like you did the other night in my home? Because I’m pretty sure that’s always implied.”
“It’s creepy that you watch Penny 24/7.”
He didn’t acknowledge my comment with a response. “You and I are friends. So stop acting like we’re not. I know you lost Brooklyn. I know she loved you. But it doesn’t mean you were the only one who lost something the day she died. She was my friend.”
“Your friend? Do you always kiss your friends?”
“Do you?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t kissed Penny. Yeah, I’d wanted to. But I didn’t. He’d kissed Brooklyn 16 years ago though. I wasn’t the dick here. He was.
“We were just kids,” James said. “And I’ve apologized a dozen times.”
“Maybe try apologizing a dozen more.”
“I’m sorry I kissed Brooklyn 16 years ago out of revenge. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He said it a few more times and I laughed.
“You can stop. I get it. You’re sorry.” Honestly, I believed him. I was sorry for a lot of things too.
“I am.” He rested his elbows on the bar, not showing any intention of going back to our table. “And I do see it. The similarities between Penny and Brooklyn. I get it. But Penny isn’t Brooklyn.”
I knew that. I looked down at my glass.
“Are you going to tell her about Brooklyn?” he asked.
“No.”
“Okay.” He finally took a sip from his glass.
I looked up at him. “You really haven’t already told Penny about Brooklyn?”
He shook his head. “It’s hard for me to talk about Brooklyn too. And I made a promise to you that I wouldn’t bring her up.”
“Then why do you keep bringing her up to me?”
“Because you’re the only one back in high school that seemed to realize that I had a problem. I think I’m the only one that sees that you have one now.”
I wanted him to be saying I was an alcoholic. But we both knew what he was implying. Because I felt it. I was stuck. I couldn’t move forward because I was haunted by the past. And even worse, I had no intention of fixing any of it. Every day felt like I was drowning.
“Looks like Tanner is here,” James said.
Tanner had just walked in. Despite what Rob said, Tanner wasn’t wearing a man bun or goblin elf shoes. But he did have some blonde chick on his arm. What was he doing? I’d told him this was a boys’ night.
Chapter 8
Saturday
I hurried back to our table before Rob could say anything rude to Tanner. “Hey,” I said, slapping Tanner on the back. “Glad you could come.”
Rob didn’t say anything snarky, but he squinted his eyes at Tanner. I ignored him.
“Me too,” Tanner said. “Have you met Abigail?” He touched the blonde’s lower back, gesturing her forward. Almost like he was giving her to me as an offering. Which was weird, because she was clearly his date.
“No,” I said. “But it’s nice to meet you.” I put out my hand to be polite. Not that it was necessary. Tanner went through women even faster than I did. I’d never see this girl again.
Instead of shaking my hand she laughed and gave me a hug. “Nice to finally meet you,” she purred in my ear. “Tanner told me you were handsome, but his words didn’t do you justice.”
I did not hug her back. Why the hell was Tanner telling his date that I was handsome?
Tanner gave me a thumbs up when Abigail didn’t move from my arms.
Holy hell. He wasn’t seriously trying to set me up with this chick? During boys’ night. I’d told him I didn’t want to actually meet anyone. Several times.
“What do you say we get out of here?” She booped me on the nose like I was five years old.
Nope. I pulled myself out of her embrace. “Sorry, I’ve had a long day,” I said. “I was just hoping to hang out with my friends.”
She literally pouted.
Maybe she really was just a kid. How old was this girl? And if this was the kind of girl Tanner thought I’d find true love with or whatever bullshit he was calling it, he’d lost it. He was as crazy as Rob said.
I sat down on my stool and pretended that awkwardness hadn’t just happened.
Tanner said something to Abigail, she pouted again, kissed him on the cheek, then walked away like he’d dismissed her. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I thought she might be a good fit.” He sat down next to me and stole my drink.
“A good fit for Matt?” Rob asked. “Was she even legal? She looked like she was 17.”
“She’s 25.”
Rob shook his head. “She booped his nose. I boop my daughter’s nose.”
“Well, she has a kid,” Tanner said. “She’s probably just used to hanging out with little Timmy all day. Anyway, how is everyone? It’s been forever.”
“It really has,” Mason said. “Bee and I have been so busy. How is Club Onyx going under new management?”
“Don’t worry,” Tanner said. “It’s still running as efficiently as ever. You’ll have to stop by sometime. It’s been far too long. And I’ve made some very interesting changes. But no business talk tonight. What about you, James? How are you?”
“Good,” James said. “Penny and I have been busy too, but not with work. Liam isn’t sleeping through the night. But at least
he doesn’t pee in my face.”
“Like a boss,” Rob said. “My son is going to go pro. In something. But we’re more interested in what you’re up to, Tanner. Especially on Tuesday nights.”
“Hm?” Tanner laughed. “What about Tuesday nights?”
Rob leaned forward. “Don’t play dumb with me. I saw you rocking a man bun and a leopard printed tux last Tuesday outside of One57. And a few Tuesdays before that…a maroon tux with black paint splatters all over it.”
“A man bun?” Tanner laughed again and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I could pull that off.”
“It was you.”
Tanner shook his head. “I promise you, young sir, it wasn’t.”
Young sir? Rob was older than him.
“But it looked just like you,” Rob said. “Except without the glasses. And obviously, your clothes and hair were more…extra.”
“Maybe I have a very extra twin running around town then?”
“But…”
“Rob, come on,” I said. “Stop interrogating him. Besides, Tanner was with me on Tuesday night.” Wait, was he? Or was that Monday? Actually, Tanner usually was busy on Tuesday nights. And Thursdays too, now that I thought about it. But I doubted he was gallivanting around the city in weird suits. He owned like a million businesses. He was just a busy guy.
“Enough about me,” Tanner said. “And more about…Georgia.” He said “Georgia” like he was the host of a game show.
“The state or the country?” James asked.
“The woman.”
A girl I hadn’t seen a few seconds ago melted into Tanner’s side. “Sorry I’m late. I had a meeting.”
On a Saturday? What was she…a stripper? She was certainly dressed like it.
“You must be Matthew,” she said and stuck her hand out for me. “Tanner has been telling me all about you.”
I didn’t take her hand, because at the same time another girl walked up to our table.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Tanner, am I early? I’m always early.” She laughed awkwardly. “You must be Matt. I’m Stacy.” She gave me a huge smile.
I turned to Tanner. “Tanner, a word?” I didn’t wait for his response. I just walked over to the bar to get another drink. Since he’d stolen mine.