Me and My Ghoulfriends

by Rose Pressey

  I glanced at my wrist, it was 5:55. Just then, the bell chimed and I snapped my head up to see Mindy waltz through the door with a sheepish grin on her face. Damn. I was hoping she'd forget about our meeting. No such luck.

  "You put on a fresh coat of lip gloss,” she screeched as she walked through the door.

  "I can't believe you noticed that. I wanted to look my best. Or somewhat best. Brianna's not the only one who can wear lip gloss,” I snorted.

  "Hey, you're telling me.” Mindy held her hands up in surrender. “I was going to suggest you do the exact thing when I got here. I can't let you go over there looking like hell."

  "Right, well, let's get this over with,” I said, grabbing my purse and keys while heading toward the entrance. I grabbed Mindy's arm and lassoed her to the door. I felt like a kid being ordered to the principal's office.

  I'd had my fill of Brianna's boutique in the past. The one and only time I'd gone in there, she'd managed to insult me repeatedly. And I thought the customer was always supposed to be right? It was all I could do not to peek over at the coffee shop as we walked down the sidewalk. Fortunately, for the sake of not embarrassing myself, Callahan closed his shop at four. As we looked both ways and crossed the street, I saw Brianna inside her store eye us suspiciously.

  "Now, make sure to mention your date with hot coffee shop guy."

  "It's Callahan."

  "Right,” Mindy said, her eyes wild with excitement. She almost looked possessed.

  "I don't want to gloat."

  "It's not gloating. It's just merely sharing facts about your life, that's all."

  Ugh. She had me there, but I didn't want to share any facts about my life with Brianna. We walked through the door, and Brianna greeted us with a weak glance. She must have missed the memo that said you're supposed to be nice to all customers.

  After a minute, she looked at us again and said, “Hello” in her generally all-around surly tone.

  Brianna's shop really was nice; too bad she wasn't. Trendy clothes lined the walls. The feminine pink walls and the raspberry striped rugs were a stark contrast to the historic building. Modern chrome and glass tables added clean lines to the space; it was very much Brianna's taste.

  As I scanned the store, I had no idea what I was even looking for. A dress? A sexy top? It was impossible to decide.

  "Brianna,” Mindy said in a clipped tone.

  Brianna didn't look up from her latest issue of Cosmo. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, minus the hooker clothes, of course. I expected when I asked how much something cost, Brianna's response would be ‘very expensive.’ Mindy flashed me a devilish smile and mouthed, “Watch this,” as she walked closer to the counter and tapped her finger loudly on the surface in front of her.

  "Excuse me."

  Brianna continued to look down at her magazine. Slowly, she reared her head up as if she had to finish the last sentence in the article before being distracted by a customer. She glared at Mindy. Her eyes were like daggers and I thought at any minute she'd cut right through Mindy with them.

  "My friend here,” Mindy gestured to me, “needs something very sexy to wear.” Mindy looked in my direction and smirked.

  This was so bad I wanted to run from the building and never look back. I had warned Mindy about gloating and she wasn't even the one going on the date. I was the one who would suffer. I didn't like the situation I was in at all.

  "You see, she has a date with Callahan Weiss. The owner of the new coffee shop.” Suddenly, Mindy had no problem remembering his name.

  "Huh?” Brianna snorted. I could have sworn her eyes glowed red for a split second.

  "Mindy, you know, I just remembered I have that black dress I think I'll wear,” I said.

  Mindy shot me a don't-you-dare-leave glare. I promptly turned and slunk toward the door. Making a run for it, I felt like a prisoner running for my life. The loud clicking of Mindy's heels rapidly approaching behind me echoed throughout the store. At that moment, I wanted to get out the door and onto the sidewalk before she tackled me as if I was holding the football. “Touchdown,” she'd exclaim.

  With a deep sigh, I escaped the horrid scene as my feet firmly hit the sidewalk in front of the boutique. As I walked away a few steps, Mindy grabbed my arm, halting me in my tracks.

  "Why did you leave?” She didn't wait for me to answer. “Did you see the look on her face? She was furious.” Mindy chuckled.

  "I couldn't do that, Mindy. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. It's obvious she hates us. I really don't think we should antagonize her. It only makes things worse."

  Mindy sighed and then folded her arms in front of her chest. I was pretty sure that was her way of pouting.

  "Let's just go back to my place and raid my closet. I know I have something that'll be just the right amount of va va voom. I'll even mix us some drinks.” I gave her a nudge. “What do you say?"

  I felt like I was trying to bribe my three-year-old cousin to eat her broccoli. I gave her another nudge. “Come on, you know you want to make fun of the clothes in my closet. Remember that denim ruffled skirt I own? That always makes you snicker. And I know you want to gulp down a few margaritas.” I smiled.

  "You do make a mean margarita,” she said quietly.

  "There you go. Come on.” I laughed.

  As we set out to cross the street, I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. Brianna was standing at the window glaring at me. Chills ran down my spine so badly it almost felt paralyzing. Shaking off the chills, I placed my foot on the street, and the next thing I knew, I was dazed and flat on my back on the sidewalk.

  "Ugh,” I sputtered.

  "Are you all right?” Mindy croaked.

  I glanced over and saw Mindy lying next to me, her eyes were wide with fear.

  "What the hell happened?” I asked as I surveyed myself, looking for injuries. Luckily, I appeared to be unscathed.

  "I'm really not sure, one minute we were ready to cross the street, and the next thing I knew, you'd stepped off the curb and a car came out of nowhere.” She took a deep breath and then added, “I grabbed you and pulled you back."

  "So, basically, what you're telling me is that you saved my life? Is that what you're trying to tell me?” I said as I shakily stood to my feet.

  "Yes, I think that's exactly what happened.” Mindy twisted the corners of her mouth into a slight grin and shrugged her shoulders.

  "So, now I owe you my life?” I snorted, letting out a long breath.

  "You're forever indebted to me."

  "Ugh. Maybe you should've just let the car hit me."

  Mindy huffed and puffed, her bottom lip down in protest of my complaint.

  "I'm kidding,” I said, as I picked a leaf out of her hair.

  "Are you sure you're all right?” She touched my shoulder.

  "Yeah, I just had the wind knocked out of me, that's all."

  An eerie presence was swirling around us and I felt eyes on me, so I turned to look over my shoulder again.

  Brianna was standing at the window watching the whole scene. She had a smirk on her face and an evil gleam in her eye. I really had an uneasy feeling about her stare. I just wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible.

  "Let's get out of here.” I grabbed Mindy by the arm and we cautiously stepped onto the street, quickly crossing before another car could zoom out of nowhere and mow us down.

  When we reached Book Nook, Abe was standing at the window of my store, watching me intently. I shook my head to let him know I wasn't coming back in there. He gave me puppy dog eyes, but I resisted them. We reached my aging BMW and fumbled to get the keys from the bottomless pit of my purse.

  "Ride with me,” I said.

  "Are you sure? You'll have to drive me back later."

  "I'm sure, I don't mind. Hop in."

  We climbed in, and as I stuck the key in the ignition and glanced in my rear view mirror I discovered Abe perched in the middle of the back seat again. I let out a long puff of
air in frustration.

  "What's wrong?” Mindy asked, looking at me with a puzzled look.

  I gestured with my head to the backseat. After all this time, she still somehow expected to see the spirits when I pointed them out, so she turned to look.

  "Are we not alone?"

  "Nope. Mr. Lincoln is right in the middle of the seat again,” I snapped, raising my voice slightly to make sure he heard me. Sadly, I probably did need to be more patient with him. After all, he was President, and he was dead. That has to be tough.

  I turned to face Mr. Lincoln. “I told you if you're going to ride back there you have to lose the hat."

  He carefully removed the hat. “Sorry.” He nodded.

  Mindy stifled a laugh.

  As I turned back to face the steering wheel, I noticed an elderly man walk past and eye me curiously. He'd probably noticed me talking to an empty back seat. You'd think after all this time I'd remember where I was before I started talking to invisible people. It just makes me so frustrated when they refuse to listen to what I say.

  Sometimes I feel like I'm babysitting. All these people talking to me 24/7, they're just so needy. Well, not all of them are needy, but a heck of a lot of them are. But I supposed I might be that needy, too, in the same situation, I reminded myself.

  Mindy and I drove back to my place and I was still lost in thought. I supposed I shouldn't complain about the dead people, because I knew sometimes I asked for it by going to haunted locations. Lots of accumulated spirits from over the years were just waiting for someone to help them out. And here I was complaining that I had problems. At least I wasn't stuck between worlds.

  Mindy and I spent all night drinking my delicious margaritas. I'm afraid to boast about my drink-making abilities too much. I don't want to give the wrong impression or anything; I'm not a lush.

  I don't drink often, but what can I say, I can make a mean cocktail. By the end of the night, we were so tipsy that the outfits Mindy pulled from my closet had become increasingly clown-like. We giggled like teenagers at a boy-band concert as I modeled clothing from the dark caverns of my closet that probably had been in my wardrobe since my teenage years. They should never see the light of day ever again.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter 5

  I woke up the next morning with the sunlight streaming through my window, splashing across my face. I had one hell of a hangover. Why had I let Mindy talk me into opening that bottle of wine after we had sucked the pitcher of margaritas dry?

  Mindy had stumbled to my guest bedroom to crash. Clearly we were not capable of driving anywhere in our condition. Thankfully, before I'd drunk too much, I'd decided on an outfit to wear on my big date. I'd hate to have seen what I would have chosen after the wine bottle was uncorked.

  The drinking wasn't inconsequential, though. It had also calmed my nerves over the date with Callahan. With my hangover came the nerves again. My cotton sheets were tangled around my legs almost as badly as my hair was tangled from sleeping off our drunken fashion show.

  I reached up and touched my hair. Tonight was my big night, and I wanted to look perfect, but it wasn't going to be an easy start with my hair in the condition it was. Fortunately, Mindy had helped me choose a black dress from my closet, and I had borrowed her strappy sexy Gucci heels.

  I lifted an eyelid open and looked at the blaring red light from the alarm clock on the nightstand next to my bed. Only a half hour until work. I needed to wake Mindy and make sure she got to work on time; I didn't want to be held accountable for her losing her business.

  I forced my legs over the side of the bed. I had a busy weekend in store for myself, and I needed to get the day started. No time for hangovers, I reminded myself, just get through work all day and then an enchanting dinner with Mr. Yummy. Then tomorrow, it was on to Greensburg to help the restless lingering souls pass on to the next world.

  I stumbled from my bed, slid my feet into my loyal bunny slippers (old hardwood floors were constantly cold), and shuffled across the floor toward the bathroom. My bedroom had always been my refuge. In the corner of my room, I had placed a comfy overstuffed chair. In the evenings, I loved to sit there and read beside the crackling fireplace. A great thing about old houses is almost all of the rooms had fireplaces.

  As I shuffled past the chair, I glanced briefly at it and continued my trek into the bathroom. When I reached the sink, it hit me. Who was that woman in the chair? I ran back out of the door and looked over at the chair. There, sitting in the chair with a stoic look on her face, was a sixty-something-year-old woman. She raised her head and eyeballed me up and down, clearly judging me.

  "You look like hell in the morning,” she said sarcastically.

  She didn't exactly look as fresh as a daisy, but I didn't bother to tell her that fact. Her perfectly arranged brown hair exaggerated her cross expression, and her dark business suit only added to her frosty appearance. Ugh. A new one had found me.

  "Look, I'm busy this morning, and I'm running really late. You're just going to have to wait until I have time to talk."

  I spun around to head back to the bathroom. I didn't have time for idle chitchat with ghosts.

  As I reached just inside the door, I stopped and let out a deep breath. That's when the guilt set in. I always had let them get to me like that.

  "Damn,” I mumbled as I pivoted around back to the chair.

  She was still there with the same appearance of distaste on her face. Or maybe it was just a distressed look; it was hard to distinguish the difference with her. She had that scowl down pat. But anyway, I supposed I shouldn't have been so abrupt with her. She fidgeted her hands, obviously distressed.

  "All right, I have just a minute if you'd like to talk to me.” I was assuming she wanted my help, they all did.

  "I found you last night. I didn't have too hard a time finding you, but you should consider putting a sign in your front yard.” She pointed to the front of my house.

  Yes, that's just what I needed. More attention from the dead. Maybe the sign could read Dead People Welcome Here!

  "You found me last night?"

  "Yes, but I didn't want to interrupt your silly little fashion show. So I waited."

  How thoughtful of her to spare me. “Thanks,” I said dryly.

  "By the way, you snore."

  "I do not! I have a slight cold."

  "I live over on Miller Street. You know, two blocks north.” She pointed in the direction.

  I nodded. “I know where it is."

  "Unfortunately, I recently passed away,” she said matter-of-factly.

  I gathered as much. “I'm sorry to hear that,” I offered.

  "I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my husband. Poor Robert.” She sniffed.

  I was shocked to see she had another emotion other than frigid.

  "I've been with him ever since I died, and I just can't cross over because of his grieving. If you could let him know I'm all right and that I love him very much,” she paused, “then I'd be able to cross over."

  "I'll do my best to try to share your feelings with him."

  "Slip on some clothes and we'll go right away. And do brush your teeth, dear.” She gestured for me to go change. Then brushed her hand in front of her nose and pointed at my mouth.

  "Whoa. I cannot go right now. I'll be late for work. I'll tell him as soon as possible. It'll have to wait until after I come back from Greensburg this weekend.” I waved my hands at her.

  "I can't wait that long.” She shot me an evil glare.

  "Well, you'll have to."

  She made a rude noise as I turned and headed for the bathroom once again, not turning to see what she might be doing behind my back. She was going to be trouble, and I knew it. She'd probably follow me on my date, and I doubted I could explain to Callahan why I needed to deliver a message to some random man in the middle of our evening out.

  After showering, I returned to my closet to see Mrs. Williams still sitting in my favorite ch
air, pouting. I hoped she realized she'd have to move it when I wanted to sit and read. I refused to let the spirits take over my home.

  I grabbed a pair of black slacks from my closet, along with my favorite sweater, and wiggled into them.

  "Do you always dress so scantily for work?” she hissed.

  "I'm wearing a turtleneck!"

  She rolled her eyes.

  "I hardly think this outfit is questionable.” I snorted defensively.

  "You should wear nice, conservative business suits like me.” She waved her hand over her body, showcasing her suit for me.

  "No, thanks!” I said as I grabbed my purse and bolted from the room, slamming the door behind me for emphasis.

  A short time later I was in my car headed for town. Mindy's boyfriend was picking her up from my house and I was looking forward to a quiet ride into town, alone, in my car.

  Alas, it wasn't meant to be. It was a beautiful morning; the only bad part was Mrs. Williams was perched in the seat next to me. She was still badgering me about my attire. Abe was in the backseat trying to discuss politics with me. The drone of noise was almost unbearable. I flipped on the radio to drown out the racket. How was I going to deal with all these spirits? It was enough to make me pull all my hair out of my head.

  * * * *

  The day passed uneventfully. My watch read 6:30 pm. I had just enough time to finish my makeup and then jump in the car and zip over to the store to meet Callahan. I slipped on my dress and slid on a layer of pretty-in-pink lip gloss.

  I had tried what seemed like a million different hairstyles, but nothing seemed right. A twist, straight, and pulled tight into a sleek ponytail to name a few. Finally, I'd decided I'd go with long and flowing, since most of the time my hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Something new could be refreshing. I wore a sexy-but-not-too-sexy little black dress that hugged my curves in, I hope, all the right places. Lastly, I slid on the strappy stilettos borrowed from Mindy and walked out of the bedroom door.