Me and My Ghoulfriends

by Rose Pressey

  I trudged back downstairs, still uncertain of what I'd just gotten myself into, but I had to ask myself, could she possibly be any worse than the others I was already sharing my home and business with? I pulled the cellphone from the bottom of my bag and hit redial, since Monica was the last person I had called. She picked up after three rings.

  "Hi Monica, it's Larue."

  "Is everything all right?” she asked with worry in her voice.

  "Yes, everything is fine. I'm all done here."

  "You're all done? Already? That was fast."

  I knew she would be shocked. Everyone always was. They expected a long drawn-out process.

  "Yes, it wasn't easy, but I think I've solved your problem."

  I didn't want to go into specifics with her. In no way did I want to confide that I was taking her ghost home with me. I could just imagine how insane that would sound to the average person, to someone that hadn't been seeing spirits their entire life.

  "I don't know what to say. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit I was skeptical of you at first. But then again, I was skeptical of ghosts and hauntings at first, too. Then I started working at Manchester. That all changed quickly, as you can see."

  "Don't worry about it. I'm used to people being highly skeptical of me and what I do."

  "Is there anything thing else we need to do after you leave? Any special instructions?"

  Normally I would tell her to burn sage around the place for cleansing, but in her case, there wasn't anything to cleanse. I was taking what needed cleansing with me.

  "No, nothing at all. Would you like for me to drop the keys off for you? I think I'm going to start my way back home, although I probably will stop for the night at a hotel."

  "Please be careful out there, it can be so dangerous on the road, especially since you are all alone."

  Little did she know I wasn't exactly ‘all alone’ on my ride home.

  "You can leave the keys with the security guard at the front gate, if you'd like. Larue, I don't know how to thank you. I'll be forever grateful."

  "It's what I enjoy doing. You don't have to thank me. Remember, if you need anything just call me. Any time."

  "And you're sure it will be safe to go back in? I'm just so nervous. I mean I thought I was going to die the other day. I can't work in those conditions, where I fear for my life."

  "I promise you, it is safe for you to go back in. I wouldn't tell you to do that if I didn't think it were safe. If you still have reservations about the stairs maybe you could do all of your work on the first floor for a while? Just until you feel safe. But I feel confident you won't be having any more problems. And remember if you need me, I'm only a phone call away."

  Monica seemed hesitant and I could understand her apprehension. If I didn't see the ghosts and couldn't communicate with them, I would feel the same way.

  As I headed back onto the interstate with my ghost in the passenger seat—her name was Vivian, I'd discovered—my cellphone rang.

  "When are you coming home?” Mindy asked, slightly panicked.

  "Actually, I'm headed back right now, although I'll probably stop soon for the night. I'm so tired and I don't want to drive like this. You sound upset, is there something wrong?"

  She paused and I instantly became concerned.

  "Did you breakup with Robert?” My voice was higher pitched than I'd meant for it to be.

  "No, no. It's nothing like that."

  She paused again.

  "Well get on with it, Mindy. You're driving me crazy here. I may wreck my car if you don't tell me soon."

  "It's Brianna."

  "Yes ... What about her? Let me guess, she's dating one of the men from the Assisted Living facility?” I snickered at my own joke.

  "It's Callahan,” she muttered.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter 9

  It felt good to be home. I collapsed onto my sofa; I was exhausted after my long trip. Not only did I have a woman who'd died in 1881 with me, but I'd also picked up a Native American chief along the way.

  Do not ask.

  Luckily, I did manage to get him to cross over, just after I crossed the Kentucky state line.

  I now sat nestled in my favorite spot, going over the past few days in my mind. I'd called Mindy back when I was almost home and she'd finally told me she'd spotted Callahan and Brianna all over town together.

  Some people in town had said they'd seen the couple and that they'd looked rather cozy together. With a small town like Magnolia, it was hard to hide, and word spread like wildfire. Needless to say, that information was not exactly what I'd been expecting to hear.

  After a short while, a sharp rap at my door startled me back to reality. I'd never gotten over the mysterious sounds of knocking on doors, whispers and footsteps. Occupational hazard, I guess. I shuffled over to the door and swung it open to see Mindy standing huddled under the little porch awning, impatiently tapping her toe.

  "What took you so long?"

  "Sorry. I was daydreaming on the sofa."

  "What the hell have you been doing? You look beat,” Mindy said gliding in my front door.

  "I am. It was a long drive and I'm starving."

  "Well, that's what this is for.” Mindy held up a white sack.

  My mouth instantly watered. I knew exactly what was inside. The best hamburgers and fries I'd ever tasted. The little hole-in-the-wall diner the sack came from didn't look like much, but their food was heavenly.

  "Bless you,” I said, grabbing the bag like I'd been stranded on a deserted island for years.

  "I'll grab us a couple of diet cokes from the fridge,” Mindy offered as she bounced to the kitchen.

  I curled back onto the sofa, into my favorite spot, with my bag of treasures. Opening it carefully to enjoy the whiff of aromatic cuisine, I stuck my nose into it.

  I pulled the napkins out and made an impromptu tablecloth with them on my coffee table. Times like this called for the comfy dining atmosphere that only my sofa could provide.

  I placed the food on the napkins and popped a fry from Mindy's stack into my mouth. I needed all the extra energy I could get, and she wouldn't miss one fry.

  "Hey. Hands off my fries,” she shrieked.

  I swallowed the fry quickly and gave her a sheepish smile. Maybe she would miss a single fry.

  "Something just doesn't seem right to me about the whole situation.” Mindy handed me the can of soda.

  "No, I'll tell you what the situation is. Obviously, the guy is a jerk like every other guy I've ever met.” I heard a cough from the other room.

  "Except for you guys,” I yelled to Mr. Haynes and President Lincoln.

  Mindy glanced over her shoulder into the kitchen.

  "It's so sad,” I said, popping open the can. “I just got a different vibe from this one. I thought he was different from all the rest. I'm usually such a good judge of character, you know?"

  "Well, the sooner you learn that all men are alike, the better off you'll be."

  "What about Robert? Do you feel that way about him?” I dipped a fry in my mound of ketchup.

  "Absolutely. He's just like all the rest."

  "That's not healthy. How can you be in a relationship with someone when you feel like that?"

  "Look, you just pick the one that's least like a jerk. But, to some extent, they're all like that.” Mindy took a huge bite of her burger.

  I took a bite of my burger, ketchup oozing out the sides, and contemplated her words. Wiping my mouth with my tiny sliver of napkin, I said, “I don't think I agree with you. Sorry."

  She just shrugged her shoulders.

  Obviously, I'd never change her mind. I wasn't sure at what point Mindy had become so jaded about men. I did know that she'd always felt that way to some extent, though it had gotten progressively worse over the years. She'd had her share of bad dates too, so I guessed it had eventually gotten to her.

  "Maybe we should be more worried about Brianna. I mean, the way she acts,
she's vicious. She probably only wants him because you were interested in him,” Mindy said, shooting me a glance as she shoved a French fry in her mouth.

  Mindy was probably right.

  "No, I'm telling you, I have a strange feeling about her.” Mindy reiterated.

  I crumbled up my used napkin and threw it in the empty bag. I wished I had another fry.

  "I know what we should do! We should go spy on her. Let's go see if he's at her house,” Mindy said, polishing off her food with a strange twinkle in her eye.

  "What? Spy on her? No way! I'm just going to let it go,” I said with a wave of my hand. “I mean, yes, he is gorgeous. The most gorgeous guy I've ever seen, actually, but I'm not even going to get involved with a two-timer. A snake in the grass."

  Mindy sank down on the sofa just a little more. “I don't know. The scene the other day I saw in her shop was weird. Just kind of creepy. It gave me chills, and it still does.” Mindy said, brushing a dirty blond curl away from her eyes.

  I nodded. “Yeah she is kind of creepy. Did you ever notice that weird look she gets in her eyes?"

  Mindy laughed. “Yes! I've noticed that, and it is so weird. So, what do you say? Let's go see what she's up to. She won't see us, I promise."

  A few minutes later we were in my car, driving in the direction of Brianna's home. I was navigating a curve while Mindy was digging around in the bottomless pit she called a purse.

  "Ah ha!"

  I glanced over to see what she'd pulled out of the cavern.

  "You brought your binoculars? Why am I not surprised?"

  "I come prepared for everything. I have anything you could possibly ever need in this baby.” She gave her bag a pat.

  "We're going to get caught snooping around, you know that, right? Brianna will call the police, we'll be arrested, booked, and our mug shots taken. I'll have to call my mother to bail me out of jail. If that's not bad enough, then I'll get a year in prison and lose the bookstore. Then, when I finally get out of prison, I'll be homeless. All because you wanted to spy on Brianna."

  Mindy rolled her eyes at me.

  "What?” I said.

  "Are you finished being a drama queen?"

  "No, not quite. I'll let you know when I'm done."

  She glared at me and I couldn't help but laugh.

  "You know you want to."

  "You are a bad influence."

  "What's your point?"

  "All right, we have to be quiet, though, or we really will be caught, and my prediction will come eerily true. We'll both be wearing orange for a very long time. And you know how bad I look in orange."

  Mindy nodded. “You do look bad in orange."

  Zipping my car into Brianna's street, I pulled up to the curb about a block from Brianna's home. Her house sat in Magnolia's most luxurious neighborhood; huge homes, swimming pools and lots of gated entries. Luckily, Brianna's wasn't one of the secured ones.

  As I turned off the ignition, I was sure someone was going to notice us sneaking around. They probably had one of those neighborhood watch things.

  Mindy especially stuck out like a sore thumb. She'd never been one for subtlety. I loved her dearly, but she had a penchant for loud clothing. Today she wore a skin-tight black sweater, which would be fine if paired with, say, a pair of jeans? But Mindy preferred bright yellow pants, giving her a not-so-discreet bumblebee effect.

  It was not exactly subtle attire for spying on someone. Maybe we should have worn camouflage. Nonetheless, Mindy was confident in her skin, so that's all that mattered. Quickly, we dashed over and hid behind some tall shrubbery. For the most part it was silent, except for the cute little birds chirping on a tree branch across the way. Looking around to see if the coast was clear, we then snuck around to a line of trees near her house. We were close enough that, with the binoculars, we'd have a good view, but far enough away we felt safe that we wouldn't be caught. Or, should I say, Mindy felt safe enough that we wouldn't be caught?

  Mindy pulled the binoculars up to her eyes and began feverishly tweaking the dial.

  "I can't get the damn things to focus. That's what I get for buying the cheap ones,” she mumbled.

  Finally, after a few seconds passed, she began spanning the length of Brianna's house.

  "This is so wrong. You do realize that, right?"

  "Yeah, yeah. It's wrong, blah blah blah.” She gestured with one hand at me, all the while looking at Brianna's window.

  "Why do I listen to you?” I whispered. “You always talk me into something crazy like this. Yet I continue to listen to you."

  "You love it."

  "Ugh. I do not love it. What would Callahan think? I'll tell you what he'd think,” I said before she had time to answer. “I'm some deranged stalker is what he would think."

  "Trust me, he'd probably thank you if he knew what an evil woman Brianna really was."

  "Do you see anything? Because if not, I think we should just go. We need to get the heck out of here while we still can.” I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching us.

  "I don't see her. She's probably getting her beauty sleep. That, or sacrificing small animals, or whatever she does in her spare time."

  "That's it. I'm leaving. Come on,” I whispered sternly as I grabbed her arm.

  "Wait, there she is.” Mindy pointed with one hand, while holding the binoculars steady with the other. She really knew how to use those things.

  I wondered how many others she had spied on in the past.

  My shoulders tensed up and my pulse increased. Now we really were spying. Before, we actually hadn't seen Brianna, and I figured that made it not technically a crime. But eyeing her in her home? That was definitely illegal.

  "What the hell is she wearing?” Mindy snapped. “She looks like she just stepped out of a Dr. Seuss book."

  She was one to talk, I thought, but I didn't dare say that aloud.

  "What's she wearing?” I couldn't resist asking.

  "Some weird dress with geometric print all over it. Do you want a peek?"

  "No ... no thanks."

  I turned to slink back to my car and from out of the bushes beside me a black cat leapt across my feet, hissing in disapproval at me. Evidently he wasn't happy I had disturbed him. I clutched at my chest to keep my heart from popping out.

  "Get back over here,” Mindy whispered. “You've got to see this."

  "What is it?” I hissed. I had to admit, I was more than a little curious.

  "Have you ever seen anyone stuff pizza in their face like that?” Mindy snorted.

  "Right. I'm out of here.” I waved my hand goodbye.

  Emerging from the trees, I slithered my way toward my car, scanning the area to see if we'd been noticed. So far, it seemed, we were safe.

  I felt like a cat burglar, though. All that was missing was a black turtleneck, pants and a ski mask. The craziest part of my cat burglar scenario was that it wasn't even dark yet, and I wasn't trying to sneak into Brianna's home.

  No, Mindy and I were just watching her eat pizza. Maybe we had officially lost our minds What had I stooped to? Finally, as I reached the car, Mindy came running after me. She realized I was seriously leaving. I slid into the driver seat.

  "Get in the car before I leave your ass here,” I yelped.

  I thought about pulling out and making her run for the car. Somehow she'd get me back someday for that prank, so I figured I'd be nice. She did deserve it, though.

  Mindy was giggling breathlessly as she jumped into the car. Feverishly, I pulled away from the curb, thankful for not being caught.

  "Well that was incredibly close. I swear we almost got caught,” I gasped.

  Mindy was still giggling like we were in high school and had just tee-peed someone's house.

  "We didn't almost get caught. No one even saw us."

  "That's what you think. Someone may have seen us."

  I steered the car out of the subdivision. Iron gates leading down tree-lined driveways on either side of me e
nclosed my car. With security like that, I was sure prying eyes were watching us.

  "We need to forget about the whole little fiasco. I think I've had enough fun for one evening, what about you?"

  "Not really,” she snorted through laughter.

  "You are so silly,” I laughed.

  "I'm going home and turning in early. I need my rest after all of this fun we've been having."

  "Do you spy on people often?” The voice came from behind me.

  I jumped slightly; I hadn't expected anyone to have come along for the evening ride.

  "No, I don't spy on people often, only when my crazy best friend forces me to."

  Mindy whipped her head around. “Oh, that creeps me out. I don't know how you ever get used to that. Who's back there? Is it Abe?"

  "No. It's Mr. Haynes. Do you remember him? He owned the gas station over on Fourth and Main."

  "It was on Fifth and Main."

  "I'm sorry, he corrected me. It was Fifth and Main."

  "Oh yeah, sure I remember Mr. Haynes. Tell him I said hello.” She smiled wide and nodded to the back seat.

  "He can hear you, you know. Just because you can't hear him, doesn't mean he can't hear you. He says to tell you hello.” Ugh. Now they were having a conversation through me. “He wants to know how your parents are."

  "Oh they're good. Dad is busy as ever and Mom is trying to work less."

  I rolled my eyes. “He says that's lovely. Did your dad ever buy that boat? All right! You know, I'm sorry, I'm too stressed for this conversation. Can you two chitchat some other time?” I huffed. “Great, now I hurt his feelings. He's gone. Everyone is so darn sensitive."

  "Well, you were a little snippy with him. He just wanted to know about the boat,” she mumbled.

  I gave her my best are-you-kidding-me look.

  "I just need to go home and relax before work tomorrow. No more crazy friend making me spy on people, and no ghosts interrupting my thoughts."

  Mindy was still giggling when she slid into her car and took off.

  I was glad she could laugh about it. Stepping along the stone-paved sidewalk leading to my front door, I couldn't help but chuckle at the way Mindy had behaved. She always had been bit wild. I didn't hesitate to climb into bed after giving a stern warning to my gang of ghosts that I did not want to be disturbed.