Me and My Ghoulfriends

by Rose Pressey

  I sighed. I had to admit I would be a little sad when, and if, he left. I was getting attached to the little guy.

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  Chapter 23

  Pole fitness, as it is referred to by the experts—Mindy corrects me when I call it pole dancing—should have come with a disclaimer. Will cause humiliation and endless amounts of bruising. I had a eureka moment during the class, and that eureka moment was that I was sure the sight of my posterior, as it spun around, was not terribly appealing for all to see.

  During class I discovered the hard way, that if you are fully covered when you pole dance, it makes it very difficult to hold on to the pole. I had the bruises to attest to that. So wearing all my clothing like I wanted to did not work.

  Then I realized, if I tried it while just wearing my workout gear, my skin was guaranteed to pinch as I gyrated around like a complete idiot. The hideous screeching sound of flesh on the poles that rang out throughout the room during the class was extremely painful to hear. Alas, bruising was not the only physical pain that came from that damn pole either. The aforementioned pinching was also involved to a great extent.

  I came out of there looking like I'd been in a bar fight, except I figured it would be pretty hard to get thigh, armpit, ankle, and palm bruises from a bar fight. Or maybe you can. I'd never been in a bar fight, so I couldn't say for sure. I had aches from muscles I never knew even existed until Mindy had been kind enough to point them out with her damn class.

  Usually when someone thought of pole dancing, I was sure a rather sensual image came to their mind, but I was sure anyone watching our class wouldn't use the word sensual to describe what they were witnessing. All I needed was big hair, big lips and big ... well, you know, and maybe I would have been just like Pam Anderson.

  Except I wasn't like that. I wanted to be sexy, but not in that way. I wanted to be confident sexy, and not flaunting-every-asset sexy. As I attempted to spin around, my bruised and aching body would make a loud galumphing sound as it landed against the pole. Finally, I'd given up and fallen to my feet, completely dizzy, trying to regain my balance with Mindy barking orders at me constantly. Thank God it was over and I had survived. Barely.

  After that embarrassing class, I was headed back to my house for a much-deserved rest. My mouth was watering, and I could already taste the lime and salt from the forthcoming margarita fest. I needed a night of drinks and girl talk after all I'd been through.

  The worst part out of everything that had happened lately was not the crazy woman trying to harm me, the jerk who'd led me to believe he really liked me, or the ghosts hanging around. No, the worst part was the exercising with friends of my grandmother's on a stripper pole.

  Damn Mindy for getting me into that mess. It wasn't like I needed to do it. I was perfectly happy with my walking fitness routine. Whatever happened to plain old aerobics, or maybe a session of tennis? It wasn't as if I was sneaking out after dark to some smoky bar to grind on a metal pole with men leering at me. No, I was doing it in the light of day for my health.

  I'd never been graceful. As it was, I'd been told to stop dancing class when I was eight. My mother was informed she should help me find some other hobby. I needed to focus on other activities, they told her. Which meant simply that I couldn't dance. I'd eventually gotten better as an adult, but I'd never be a ballerina. So I had no business attempting pole fitness, and Mindy knew that.

  As soon as I'd trekked my sore butt into the house I made a beeline for the kitchen. I scoured through the cabinets to dig out my favorite pitcher for the margaritas. It was a pretty multi-colored ceramic one my grandmother had given me several years ago. Finally, I located it on the top shelf so I had to grab a chair and hoist my sore butt up to retrieve it. Next, I grabbed the brown bag that had the tequila I had just purchased tucked inside. Since I didn't drink often, when it came time for margarita night I always had to buy liquor. Mindy was always laughing at me because of it. As I waited for Mindy to show up, I added the salt to the rims around the glasses.

  A sharp knock jarred me, making the glass almost tumble from my hand. I grunted as I trudged my sore muscles to the door. Several grunts later, I grabbed the door and Mindy cheerfully popped in. Sometimes I hated her perky self.

  "The margaritas are waiting. I figure we can have one while you prepare the burritos,” I said as Mindy walked in with her hands full of bags of ingredients for our dinner. I pulled a couple of bags from her hands and followed her into the kitchen.

  My mouth was watering just thinking about Mindy's yummy burritos. Extra sour cream and loads of cheese and an extra ingredient she would never disclose to me. I justified the extra calories as needed to help ease my sore muscles. That was a legitimate reason, right?

  My home was buzzing with activity, as if a party were taking place, a paranormal party. Abe and the gang were sitting in the living room talking amongst themselves.

  Mindy was hard at work in the kitchen stuffing the tortillas with chicken and rice. She topped the burritos off with a nice dollop of sour cream. I grabbed the plates and handed them to her.

  "So are they here?” Mindy whispered as she placed the burritos on the plates.

  "Yes, they're in the living room."

  "Do you think they want a burrito?” She laughed.

  I rolled my eyes. “I don't think so."

  "When are you getting rid of them?"

  I slumped my shoulders. “I have no idea."

  "Abraham Lincoln has been around for a while, huh?” Mindy pulled a couple of forks from the drawer.

  I heaved a sigh. “Yes, he has. And he is very opinionated."

  "Well, he was president."

  I laughed. “Good point."

  I poured another round of margaritas and we made our way to the dining room table. I loved my dining room. My grandmother was great at decorating. I'd found a fantastic distressed table at a flea market, and my grandmother had then incorporated reds and yellows into the area. She'd said those colors would stimulate the appetite. Not that I needed mine stimulated, it was already that way.

  Mindy and I spent the evening devouring burritos and downing margaritas. The only bad part was that we didn't stop at one pitcher. No, we had to have two. Needless to say, Mindy ended up spending the night because she was way too tipsy to drive.

  We laughed over ideas we came up with to get back at Brianna. And the fact she thought she was so trendy, but in reality, she really looked stupid. With her orangey fake tan, and clothing that clearly cost a small fortune, yet looked just plain silly. We weren't jealous, though. No way. Well, maybe a little jealous of her shoe collection.

  The next morning I felt like hell. Someone had snuck into my bedroom with a hammer and was pounding on my head with it. I prayed for a hangover tonic. Some elixir to make it all go away. I cursed that second pitcher. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Mrs. Williams was lucky she didn't try to perform for me, I didn't know what I would have done if she had.

  Cursing under my breath, I rolled out of bed, when all I wanted to do was snuggle back under the sheets. Maybe I should have just crawled to the shower, it would have been easier. I could hear Mindy stirring upstairs. I wasn't sure how she was going to give a morning class. Between my sore muscles and hangover, there was no amount of money that would have gotten me there. If she asked me to do another class today, I knew I might kill her. I'd have to use that damn pole on her.

  I trudged into the kitchen with a few disapproving looks from the ghost gang. I ignored them; I didn't need a lecture of the evils of alcohol from them. I grabbed a bowl and was pouring my cereal when Mindy walked in.

  "How are you feeling this glorious morning?"

  "Oh My God. One too many margaritas that's for sure."

  "Do you want breakfast? I have cereal."

  "No way, I don't think I can handle it. I'm taking off. I'll stop by Book Nook in a few. There are a couple of things I need to do real quickly. I'll see you soon.” She grabbed her t
hings and headed for the door.

  I wasn't sure if it was just me or she was being a bit mysterious. I wondered what that was all about.

  "Bye.” Mindy disappeared out the front door.

  "That was some giggling session you ladies had last night,” Mr. Haynes announced.

  "Yeah, I guess so.” I laughed. It had felt good to laugh last night. It had relieved a lot of tension. Although I was paying for it this morning.

  As usual, Mrs. Williams rolled her eyes. I took that as a sign she didn't approve. I didn't think she would.

  "You need to have fun. It'll do you good,” I said to her.

  She just glared at me and then said, “I'm dead. How much fun can I have? And you look like hell, by the way."

  Ugh. I turned my back to her.

  "How are you feeling?” Vivian asked with a worried look.

  "I'm fine. Thank you for asking.” I guess she was worried about my drinking. She probably thought I was an alcoholic.

  "I'm very sorry to hear the news about the wedding. There will be other men—I know there will be."

  "I'm fine, really. Like I said before, we just had a few dates, no biggie.” I slurped the milk off of my spoon.

  "You shouldn't mope around. Get out and enjoy life,” Mr. Haynes said.

  "I know that. I'm not moping around for him. Forget him."

  I said the words, but honestly, I knew I was having a hard time forgetting his kisses, not to mention the way he smelled. And his arms. No, I needed to erase him from my mind completely. Pretend he never existed. But then, I was always brought back by the thought of Brianna wrapped in his arms. And the new ring on her finger.

  The reality was, he was not worth my thoughts. I just needed to remember that. There were other guys out there and someday I would meet one. So what if I might be eighty years old before that happened?

  "We're here to help you. If you need anything,” Abe continued as I walked to the front door to leave.

  That's just it. I didn't want them there to help me. I just wanted to be alone. For once in my life, I wanted to be alone. I'd always had someone around. As a kid, it was nice to have playmates. Everyone thought they were my imaginary friends. But as an adult, I just wanted to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. No commentary constantly playing in my mind. Yet, somehow I felt guilty for having those feelings. I let others’ feelings overpower my own.

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  Chapter 24

  Mindy fell through the door of Book Nook. She shook her umbrella, splattering water everywhere. Then shook her body like a wet dog.

  "Hey, be careful. You're getting water everywhere."

  "How are you doing? Are you still moping around?"

  "I was never moping. Why does every one keep asking me that? I was sore from your stupid class. As far as those two are concerned...” I pointed across the street. “I've moved on with my life and I'm doing an excellent job of ignoring both of them. I mean, I did just have a few dates with him. It's not like we were engaged or anything."

  Thankfully, Mindy didn't remind me of the fact Callahan was now engaged to that she-devil.

  "It's just rotten of them and it makes me furious. I want to beat them up,” Mindy chimed as she sidled up to the counter.

  "Obviously they are in love. Let them have each other. I don't want to talk about it anymore,” I said with a wave of my hand.

  Abe was standing next to me and slumped his head down; I couldn't understand why he was so sad. What did he care if I had a date or not?

  "So tell me. How is pole fitness really doing?” I asked, trying to take my mind off my worries and change the subject.

  "Honestly, it's not so great right now. But I'm convinced business will pick up soon,” she said, trying to sound positive.

  "Have you ever thought of offering different classes? Maybe different options for everyone? Maybe add aerobics and pilates or something?"

  "I guess,” she said lackadaisically. “Is this safe to eat?"

  "Yes.” I gave her a thumbs up. She grabbed a piece of the candy from the jar I always kept on the counter and popped it in her mouth.

  "I'm not sure how to ask this,” she said.

  "No!"

  "You don't know what I was going to ask, how can you say no?"

  "Whatever it is, it can't be good,” I laughed.

  She frowned. “Just hear me out."

  "All right, what is it?"

  "I have a date for you.” She unwrapped the candy.

  "No way.” I waved my hands in a no gesture.

  "Why?"

  "Who could you possibly have to fix me up with?"

  "Robert has a friend, and we were thinking you may hit it off with him. He's really nice."

  "So he's not that good looking?"

  "Looks aren't everything. You have to look beyond the surface."

  "No, looks aren't everything. You got me there. But psychical attraction does count for something."

  I had her on that one.

  "Okay, you're right, it does. But how do you know you won't like his looks if you've never seen him?"

  "What does he look like?"

  "He's a dentist in Frankfort."

  "He's not even from around here?” I screeched. “That would never work."

  "Maybe you'll fall in love, and he can move his practice here."

  "We already have a dentist in Magnolia, no need for two.” I shook my head. “Besides, I didn't ask what he did, I asked what he looked like."

  "You are all about looks. That's why you fell so hard for Callahan."

  "I am not. And I didn't ‘fall hard’ for him."

  Just then, I caught movement outside and turned my head to look out the windows lining the front of Book Nook. Brianna was slinking into her store, carrying that same strange looking bag we'd seen before, purple with gold stitching and tassels. It looked like nothing I had ever seen before, and for some reason, this time, it cast a bad vibe with me. I felt the negative energy zinging off it.

  "What is she up to now?” Mindy asked as she followed my gaze to see Brianna.

  "Who knows? She always has some weird-looking junk that she's carrying into that store. She acts suspicious if you ask me.” I popped a piece of candy into my mouth. I was trying to ignore the negative vibe I was getting. However, I couldn't seem to shake it.

  "Really, why didn't you tell me? I know we saw her once with that bag, but there have been others?"

  I didn't answer. Instead, I gave her a blank stare.

  "Hold on, I'll be right back,” she said, as she walked toward the front door.

  I prayed Mindy wasn't going over to confront Brianna. That's all I needed today was to break up a cat fight.

  After a minute, Mindy reappeared through the front door holding her binoculars.

  "Oh no, not again."

  I placed my hands on my temples. I felt a headache coming on already.

  "Maybe you should have become a private investigator instead of a pole dancer."

  "I am not a pole dancer!"

  I snickered. She always hated it when I said that.

  "Mindy Childs, P.I.. not a bad ring to it,” she said, smiling as she pondered the thought.

  Mindy was probably envisioning herself catching some cheating husbands. Staking them out at some seedy hotel, and then gleefully handing over the photo evidence to a distraught wife the next day. I watched as Mindy slid over to the window, hiding herself behind a tall stack of books on a high display shelf. Her sleuth mode was already setting in. She motioned for me to join her.

  I trudged over, reluctant again to be a part of her spy games. They hadn't yielded anything before, and I felt it was pointless. Though, I had to admit, I was a tad bit curious.

  Mindy steadily held up the binoculars and positioned them for the optimal viewing of her suspect. We stood in silence; the only thing I could hear was her breathing. Whatever she was watching must have been good because her heart rate was obviously mounting.

  A few more seco
nds of silence and then Mindy yelled, “Oh My God. She's a witch."

  "It's all right. We all know she's a witch with a capital B. That's nothing new,” I said impassively.

  "No, I mean literally, she's a witch.” She turned her gaze away from Brianna just for a second to give me a hard glare.

  "What? What are you talking about?"

  "Get over here and take a look."

  I removed the binoculars from her tight grip and then held them up to my eyes, trying to keep them steady.

  "These things are so heavy,” I said, with shaky hands.

  "If you came to my class more often, your hands would be strong enough to hold them."

  "Humph,” I said.

  As I focused in on Brianna standing in her store, I saw a bright flash that looked just like lightening as it filled the air and, in an instant, a puff of smoke swirled around Brianna.

  I couldn't believe my eyes. What was I seeing, an optical illusion?

  "Did you see that smoke and lightning?” I said, with bated breath.

  "Yes, why do you think I said she was a witch?"

  I gasped as I watched another flash of lightning fill the air, followed by another cloud of smoke, this one a different color to the first. The first had been white, and the second one was blue. And not a pale blue, but a rich sapphire color that floated through the air.

  My mouth gaped open at what I saw.

  Slowly, I pried the binoculars away from my face and turned to look at Mindy. She had the same expression splashed across her face. Suffice it to say, we were both stunned.

  I pulled the binoculars back up to my face.

  "We need two pair of those,” Mindy glowered.

  Brianna had black candles lined up in a circle all around her, flickering and casting dancing shadows across her face. The dancing shadows seemed to be laughing at me all the way from over there.

  "Isn't she afraid someone will walk in there and catch her doing that?"

  "Look. The sign is turned to closed. No one can walk in, and she doesn't think anyone can see her, either,” Mindy said pointing at her door.