by CJ Adler
Defeated, I hopelessly glance around the room. Something catches my eye: a picture on the coffee table. In the picture is a man I recognize, a man who happens to be my father. He's wearing a suit and seems to be quite wealthy, judging from his respected stance, attire and his body language in general. His eyes that were once filled with warmth now seem cold, lifeless and empty.
I can't help but match his frown. I don't understand. Why hasn't Jay showed me this yet? It dates back to a week ago.
I furrow my eyebrows, turning over the photograph to see a short message written on the back. The writing is messy, barely visible. It resembles scribbles, the kind of writing doctors have, the kind of writing that everyone at school knows belongs to our physics valedictorian, Jay.
'Stopping search.'
There's an address on the side. He was obviously going mail the photograph back to his connection source. He's been lying to my face all this time when I trusted him with something important to me.
When I see an incoming call from Mason, I don't hesitate in answering my phone. “What?” I huff rudely, taking out my fury on him.
“Uh, hey,” he answers meekly. “I'm surmising that you know about your tutoring program by now.”
“Your surmising is correct,” I answer glumly.
I hear him inhale nervously from the other side. “You want to meet up tomorrow?”
I glance at Jay's sleeping form hesitantly. He's not going to help me. He doesn't have time. “No,” I answer blatantly. “Now leave me alone,” I answer stubbornly, preparing to hang up on him.
I hear him swallow anxiously. There's a brief second of silence between us before I hear him take on an even gentler tone, “Aqueela, please, I'm trying to help you. I don't want you to fail. I swear it isn't a ploy of mine or anything. It's just a friend helping out a friend.”
“That's rich coming from you of all people.” I scoff into the phone. “I think I'd rather fail.”
“You and I both know that you're lying, but fine.” He sighs aloud. “Have it your way.”
He's about to hang up when I realize that he has a point. I have to pass. I need him.
“Mason, wait!” I breathe out sharply. “I'll allow it.”
“You'll allow it, huh?” He chuckles, amused. “Whatever, I'll swing by your place at 10 tomorrow. Just give me an address. I still don't know where you live.”
I give him Jay's address. “Oh, and by the way, I'm living with Jay now, so 'kay cool bye,” I say hurriedly before hanging up on him, not giving him time to protest and ask a million questions that I don't have the energy to answer.
Chapter 33
Damn you, Aqueela
I'm up early the next morning, waiting for Mason to arrive. I'm deciding to give Jay the benefit of the doubt for now. I owe him that much. Still, I've been dropping subtle hints all morning to see if he'll fess up. Nothing.
“Aqueela, door!” I hear Jay call from somewhere upstairs as the doorbell rings.
I sigh aloud. “I'm going, I'm going.” A part of me really didn't want Mase pitching. I don't want to fail science but things are going to be so awkward between us.
By the time I get to the door, I see that Oog has already let Mason in and is now offering Mason a blob of butter. I stifle my giggles as I lead Oog away before returning back to Mason.
“Hey.” He smiles lazily, dazed.
“Hi,” I greet. “Thanks for coming.”
Mason shrugs. “Not a problem. Just one question, who was that little, filthy guy?”
I laugh at that, the tension broken. “Nevermind him,” I say before flopping down onto one of the couches, patting the empty seat beside me.
Mason raises his eyebrows at me but sits down beside me anyway.
“Let's get this over with.” I sigh, compliant for now.
***
“Masooon,” I drawl out lazily, “can we please take a break?”
“Sure,” he agrees. “How about I tell you some chemistry pick up lines to clear your mind?”
I shrug. “If it makes me laugh, why not?”
“Do you have eleven protons because you're sodium fine?”
Being the one who laughs easily, I erupt in giggles.
“You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread hotness everywhere.”
I throw my head back and laugh louder. Oog joins in for the sake of laughing as he cuddles beside me on the seat, not wanting to be excluded. He's defensive over his limelight.
“Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.”
His jokes just keep coming. He was a flirt before Bells so I get why he has them all mesmerized. Granted, the girls he flirted with didn't get these jokes.
“Hey, baby, I've got my ion you.”
I begin laughing so much that I fail to notice the new presence in the room.
“My favorite attractive force is Van Der Waal's force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't.” He moves closer to me for effect.
“I'm so strongly attracted to you; scientists will have to discover a fifth fundamental force.”
“Can't breathe!” I clutch at my aching sides.
Oog, laughing louder than me, even though he doesn't get it, copies me.
“Oog not breathe either.”
Someone in the room clears their throat. “I hope for your sake, Montry, that you have no more.”
Immediately, I fall silent, my laughing hushed. Mason and I turn our heads to see Jay leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, his head cocked to the side as he watches our interactions.
Before Mason can even speak, Jay turns to me questioningly, “What is he doing in my house?”
I give him a sheepish grin. “Tutoring.”
Jay furrows his eyebrows. “In what exactly?”
“Science,” I answer meekly.
“You didn't tell me that you needed help in science,” Jay replies, pointing out false facts.
“I told you last night, even hinted at you tutoring me,” I remind him.
“I don't remember having this conversation,” he murmurs, thinking back.
“Because you fell asleep on me.” I chuckle.
Mason, unwise, opens his big mouth, “Why are you living with him in any case?”
I slap a hand over Mason's mouth. His mere voice is enough to set Jay off.
Jay locks his intimidating stare back onto Mason. “I have a better question, why are you still here?”
“No!” Oog pouts, holding onto Mason's upper arm. “He Eela make laugh. He stay. Forever.”
Jay shakes his head. “I drew the line with you, Oog.”
“You should leave him, Aqueela. He's just an accident waiting to happen,” Mason stupidly voices his opinion, unaware of everything Jay has done for me. The animosity between them is clear.
“Get out of my house,” Jay commands, daring Mason to do anything other than what he just said.
Mason stands up and picks up his books. He turns to me with a half-grin intact. “I should just go. Next time, you can just come to my house. It kind of sucks here. Not the house, the one living in it.”
Jay pushes himself off the wall, stepping beside me protectively. “You want a fight?”
“Look, Taylor,” Mason holds his hands up, “I'm not gonna get into fight with you right now.”
“That's a first,” Jay replies back coldly. “Is it 'cause Aqueela's here or 'cause your buddies aren't? Usually, you're always game, especially when I've told you that I'm not.”
Mason sighs before repeating himself, “I don't want to start a fight with you.”
“Too late,” Jay says before he steps forward and punches Mason on his jaw, having lost his temper.
A clicking sound echoes around us as Mason flays backward. He and I didn't see it coming.
“Always knew you had a glass jaw,” Jay says, shaking out his fist, unfazed by what he's just done.
“Jay!” I shout angrily before I rush to Mason's side. “Are you alright?” I ask Mase, conc
erned.
“Don't worry about it, Aqueela. He can't help but be a stuff up,” Mason replies, shooting Jay a glare filled with hatred.
“You're right.” Jay shrugs, uncaring. “That's exactly what I am.”
I turn back to Jay, now reeling in fury. “What has gotten into you?!”
“He started it.”
“He didn't do anything, you maniac!” I shout again, ready to hit him. Mason pulls me back by my waist before I can.
“I wasn't talking about now,” Jay replies back stiffly, momentarily detached from the world.
“Leave it alone, Aqueela. It's fine.” Mason tries to reassure me, holding his bruised jaw as if in pain.
“It's not fine! He can't just punch you in the face for no apparent reason!” I yell at poor, unsuspecting Mason who hasn't done anything wrong—well, other than insulting Jay.
“I'll just go,” Mason tells me quietly.
I barely notice Mase leaving and Oog chasing after him. My attention is solely on Jay. “What is going on with you?” I ask him, woorried. “I've never seen you like this before. You can't just punch people, even if they're asking for it.”
“And you can't tell me what to do!” he snaps at me, raising his voice. He doesn't yell that often so it takes me by storm. “And in case you've forgotten, this is my house. I do what I want.”
“That's the problem, Jay!” I huff in frustration, taking a courageous step toward him. “You always do what you want even if it's at the expense of others!” I poke his chest repeatedly, infuriated.
Jay catches my hand in his before I can poke him again. His blue eyes are simmering in fury and his heart is beating furiously. “You wouldn't understand,
Aqueela. Montry is a terrible human being, if he can even be classified as such.”
For a split second, everything freezes and time seems to stop as we both come to realize the close proximity between us. His eyes find my own. I look down to my hand that he's captured. I glance back up to find that his gaze has softened.
“Why do you hate him so much?” I ask softly.
“It doesn't matter.” He waves it off as if it's no big deal.
“If it matters to you; it matters to me,” I tell him, meaning it. “I trust you, even if you don't tell me everything.”
He senses the underlining reason in my behavior. “What are you on about now?”
“Were you ever planning to tell me that you found my father?” I finally come out with it. Mason was just the cherry on the top.
Jay's eyes find mine once again, guilt evident in his expression. “Were you ever planning to tell me that you went through my stuff ?”
I place my hands on my hips in defiance, unimpressed by his antics. “I'm serious, Jay.”
He sighs, reaching up to run a hand through his hair before stepping back from me. “No,” he answers truthfully.
“Why?” I breathe out angrily, wanting to know the reason.
“I'm not going to ever tell you why, so just let it go,” he answers, adamant in his decision. There's clearly no swaying him. He's made up his mind.
“Tell me, Jay,” I demand. I'm not letting something so important to me go without an explanation.
“No,” he persists.
“I deserve to know,” I reply through gritted teeth, annoyed with him. “My house, my rules. If you don't like it, then leave,” he retorts bitterly.
I glare fiercely at him. I take him up on the offer, moving out of his reach and toward the door. “I will.”
“The door is literally open,” he says, gesturing to the front door that Mason left wide open. “No one's stopping you. I certainly won't.”
His words sting. I flinch before shaking my head at him, disappointed. I walk out the door, slamming it shut after me. There's nothing left to say. It just isn't worth it. I can't stay if he's going to be unreasonable.
It's only when I'm halfway down his driveway that I remember that all my stuff is in his house. No matter how furious I am with him, I refuse to leave my stuff behind. I do a 180 and slam the door back open, only to find him rooted on the same spot.
“I'm just getting my stuff and I'll be out of your hair forever,” I grumble moodily, attempting to move past him.
He reaches out and stops me, purposely making himself an obstacle in my way.
“What are you doing?” I complain, trying to break free from the hold he now has on my wrist, but to no avail. He merely overcomes my every struggle with his own movements.
He doesn't answer and takes a step closer toward me, forcing me to take a step back. He takes another step forward and, naturally, I react with another step back. This goes on for a while.
Forward. Back. Forward. Back.
“Stop this,” I eventually react when my back hits the wall. “I said that I was just getting my stuff,” I remind him as I move to the side in an attempt to escape him.
He's quick to counteract my actions, sidestepping me and boxing me in.
“I'm sorry,” he says bluntly. “I didn't mean it.”
“Yeah, you did,” I argue.
“No, Aqueela,” he reasons, “I didn't.”
I meet his gaze, his eyes revealing the truth. I notice the speck of silver entwined in those depths of blue.
“I don't ever want to see you walk out that door again,” he confesses. “I'm sorry.” He leans in closer, his warm breath intermingling with that of my own. My heart automatically starts to race. “Damn you, Aqueela,” he murmurs softly against my lips. “You mess me up.”
I smile just as he drops his head to kiss me.
Chapter 34
Close the Book
When his lips meet mine for the first time, a wave of electricity passes through me. All possible rational thoughts leave my mind, his lips gently dominating mine, softly coaxing me to respond.
I give into him and slowly begin to move my lips against his.
He tenderly places a hand on my waist, a complete contrast to his usual detached self. It's as if he's desperate to hold onto the moment.
I feel him smile as if genuinely happy before he pulls me even closer. The simple action causes a rush of adrenaline to shoot up my spine.
Still, I pull away.
“Jay,” I murmur, placing my hands on his chest to get his attention. “Maybe…” I falter when I feel his muscles go rigid beneath my fingertips, his heart beating as fast as mine. I never thought he'd feel what I'm feeling. I trail off, losing my train of thought entirely.
Jay doesn't wait a second longer before his lips return to mine. I stifle a laugh and accept his advances before pushing him away again. He's not standing for it. Instead, he dips his head and places a playful kiss on my collarbone.
I bring his head up back to me so that I can talk to him properly. “Jay,” I try again, cupping his face in my hands. “Can we talk first?”
He has that confused, boyish expression on his face that makes him all the more adorable. It's almost as if he got lost in his own world, forgetting reality completely.
“Aqueela,” he swallows, catching his breath. “Please just drop it,” he pleads before leaning down to kiss me again.
I stubbornly turn away, aware that he already knows what I want to talk about.
“I gotta know, Jay,” I tell him, willing him to understand.
He gazes back at me as if deciding what to do. Then in a flash, he's removing my hands from his face and releasing his grip on me altogether, coming out of it.
“Jay,” I drawl when he purposely places himself just out of my reach.
He runs both his hands down his face, frustrated. He mumbles inaudibly under his breath before his eyes meet mine again. Before I can say anything, he's already heading for the front door.
He always just ups and leaves when things get serious and it infuriates me.
He's not going to get away with it this time.
I grab ahold of his hand. “Jay, please.”
My words halt him as he turns around to face me again, his blue
eyes having softened as he searches my face to determine what I'm feeling. “Aqueela,” he starts softly, affectionately, “I never told you because he wants nothing to do with you.”
I stare at Jay, time slowing, as I come to realize what he's saying. My hand holding his drops limply to my side as if he just stabbed me. I process it all, saying nothing.
Jay sees and gives me that rare sympathetic look of his. “I would never keep something from you, but in this situation, I honestly thought that you'd be better off not knowing.”
I should have stopped asking when he told me to. This, what I'm feeling now, is exactly what he was trying to protect me from. He's right. I would have been better off had he kept it from me.
My heart feels heavy. It almost feels as if my lungs have caved in and I can't get any air. “How do you know this?”
“I personally got in touch with him, your father. When I told him all about you,” he stops mid-sentence and shakes his head, “he told me that he's not interested, that to him you don't exist. He doesn't want to know you,” he tells me straightforwardly and I find myself appreciating the sentiment—I don't need him sugar-coating any of it, I just need the truth.
I try to block the pain, but this time, this time I can't. My eyes begin to water as a single, traitorous tear escapes from the corner of my right eye. I quickly cover it up and wipe it away with my thumb. “Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm not worth knowing. Even you wanted me to leave just a few minutes ago. You were going to let me go. If that isn't proof enough then—”
Jay silences me when he suddenly embraces me. “I only said those things because I'm an idiot,” he says into my shoulder. “You should know that by now. You should know that I'm hot-headed. I never meant it, any of it.”
Standing limply in his arms, I begin to protest, “But—”
“You've ruined my jackets, forced me to be your friend, made me waste my money on numerous stupid occasions, moved in, let other people move in and ruined my house, but the way I see it, the way I really see it, is you being you. If you never did all those things, then I wouldn't have gotten the chance to know you, and knowing you…knowing you is definitely worthwhile, despite the trouble you bring on the sidelines and all the collateral damage you cause. Your father is a bigger idiot than me because you're worth it all, Aqueela. You're priceless.”