Pause

by CJ Adler

  It's then that my eyes land on the two lightsabres lying on the floor of Bell's room. I pick up one and toss the other to Bells. I know that the red one is Troy's – he prefers the side of evil. When the two of them argue over something, they have a plastic duel with their light sabres to see who gets to make the final decision. Bell usually beats Troy by far. Bell's mom often has to break their duels up because Bells tends to bruise her brother's face. They've always been so childish, hence why I love them both so much.

  I take Troy's light sabre and poke it into Bell's ribcage. “Hunger!”

  Bells swings her lightsabre at me. “It's on guard, not hunger, you absolute moron. It's is associated with—”

  I cut her off from rambling when I take another jab at her with the red light sabre.

  “'Bequeela Wars' is on, yo!”

  “Like 'Star Wars' but 'Bequeela Wars'. Nice,” Bells approves.

  Max tries to grab the light sabre from me but ends up hitting Bells over the head with it. His eyes widen when she pouts, feigning pain. He takes her face in his hands. “Aww, baby, I'm so sorry. I never meant to—”

  I hit Max with the light sabre and wink at Bells. “Got your back.” I turn in my stance and glower at Max. “Get a room, lovebird.”

  Max gestures to the room. “I got one. You're just invading it.”

  I roll my eyes at him playfully, taking it as my cue to get going. “Just remember, you get Bells pregnant and the child shall be named 'Aqueela the Great the Second' and I shall be the godmother.”

  They both roll their eyes at me, unimpressed.

  I smirk in delight before giving the two a wave of my fingers. “Toodles!”

  Max shoves me out the door. “Just go already! You've had your dramatic exit, how are you not satisfied yet?”

  ***

  “You're home early,” I remark. Jay usually works until the early hours of the morning unless he's racing. I pity him, I really do.

  “Yup,” he answers, moving past me, flopping down onto the couch and switching on the TV. He places his feet up on the coffee table, lounging back with his arms behind his head.

  “How come?” I ask, trying to make conversation with him. “Quiet today. Sent home early,” he answers, being vague.

  “Oh,” I state dryly, not knowing what else to say. He's not making it easy. I guess I deserve it for my attitude when he tried to tell me something heartfelt and important to him. I take a seat on the couch opposite him. “So, I assume you had a good day then?”

  “Mhmm,” he answers, keeping those electric blue eyes focused on the TV.

  “Want to tell me about it?” I ask, hoping we could go back to us insulting each other on a daily basis. It's way better than being ignored or being answered in one-syllable words.

  “Nope,” he answers blandly, popping the 'p'. “Why?” I blurt out, frowning at him. “Because.” He shrugs.

  “Jay,” I whine, pleading for his attention.

  “Aqueela,” he retorts back without a care in the world.

  “Please talk to me,” I beg, throwing my pride aside.

  “Now you want me to talk to you?” he asks, switching off the TV as he turns in his seat to face me. “You just asked me to give you space and when I do, then I'm suddenly being a jerk. Now you suddenly want me to talk to you again? What do you want from me?”

  I sigh aloud. “I've apologized for that about a million times now. If you had something to say back then, then say it now,” I encourage. “I'm listening.”

  He fixes his eyes on me as if he's actually considering it. “I had and have nothing to say,” he eventually says, clearly lying to me.

  “You did and you do!” I raise my tone at him, exasperated by his ongoing stubbornness. I'm trying to meet him halfway here. The least he can do is help me out a little.

  “I'm going to bed,” he states, standing up from the couch as heads upstairs to his room.

  I sigh to myself, my eyes lingering on the spot where he'd just been sitting.

  ***

  I snap the third pencil in aggravation in order to stop me from reaching over and killing her.

  Stupid, blonde, airheaded bimbo!

  “Would you stop glaring?” Mason whispers from beside me. “You're burning holes through her head.”

  Ha! I wish!

  “And stop snapping my pencils!” I frown. “I can't help it.”

  We're in science class. Mr. Brown has put us in pairs for an assignment. I was purposely placed with Mason because Mr. Brown knows that Mason has been helping me in science. Mr. Brown likes pairing the weak with the strong, hoping the latter can boost the former up.

  Jay was placed with the well-known cheerleader, Ashley. She's daft and flirtatious but incredibly popular. Everyone likes her, everyone being the male gender. She is just drop-dead gorgeous with her long, brown curls and baby blue eyes.

  I've never hated the girl but I've never been a fan either. It's only when she begins flirting with Jay that she crosses the line. It's not even her flirting that bugs me — she can't help herself — it's the fact that Jay is smiling at her and giving her his full attention.

  “She's not even doing anything,” Mason points out, leaning over me to look, clearly not seeing what I'm seeing. He moves closer to me as he whispers in my ear, “I'm not following.”

  What's worse is that Jay actually seems to be enjoying her company and presence altogether, whereas in the past, he'd keep to himself. Something in his character has changed and it's the result of my actions, of me shunning him.

  “Ms. Lawson and Mr. Montry, stop flirting and get working,” Mr. Brown scolds us.

  Mason quickly moves away from me as a result. I see his cheeks glow pink as he tries to clear his throat from his embarrassment. He doesn't even bother to correct the teacher.

  I sink down in my seat, ducking my head in shame, as the entire class begins to snicker at our expense. Their gossiping makes the situation all the more humiliating. I can't even face Mason right now.

  I try to get over it, clear my head, and focus on the science task. I fail to do so because I can feel his blue gaze on me, piercing right through my soul. I happen to look up in that instant, catching him staring at me. I raise my eyebrows at him in confusion, wondering why he's suddenly interested.

  He's frowning. That's when I realize that his gaze has shifted to Mason. I can tell that he's not impressed at all. He must actually believe that Mason and I were flirting. No doubt Jay has heard all the classmates' remarks too. In fact, I think he might just be 'jaylous'.

  When he realizes that I've caught him staring, he immediately turns back to Ashley and pretends to listen to her. I see through him. I can see that he's not listening to her anymore, that he's thinking deeply about something else. He's miles away from her and here. He's gone to 'Jay World'.

  I study him closely, wanting to understand him better. He's just so complex. It's exhausting.

  “Aqueela! Stop drooling over Mr. Taylor and get back to work!” Mr. Brown scolds me for the second time.

  I feel my cheeks warm as the class erupts in laughter. Nonetheless, I stopped caring a long time ago. I'd rather not fit in at all if it means I have to act like them. I'd rather be an outcast. I'd rather be shunned by my peers.

  “Lawson, give up. Jay Taylor is way out of your league, hon. Guys like him, well guys in general, will never be into you.”

  I can't recall her name. I don't bother with names anymore.

  Laiken, of course, has to have his say too. “No sane guy will ever be interested in Weirdo Lawson. She's too damn crazy. You need to be a hands-on kind of guy to even look her way. If you get with a whack job like Lawson, there's no doubt that you're one hundred percent screwed up in the head.”

  Mason remains quiet, saying nothing, but I know he hears it all as well seeing as his posture visibly stiffens. I don't expect him to stand up for me. I know how much he values his reputation among his fellow jocks.

  Mr. Brown doesn't even bother giving a lecture

to Laiken and the cheerleader. He knows that either way, they won't listen. He simply allows it.

  I don't bother reacting.

  From the corner of my eye, I catch Jay's gaze. He sees me looking back his way. He arches an eyebrow at me in question. He doesn't have to speak for me to realize what he wants to know. He wants to know why I'm taking this. He knows me as the type to never back down.

  They don't deserve a reaction from me. They're not worth it.

  I shrug at Jay, having no answer for him.

  There's a sudden screeching sound from within the classroom. Everyone turns to see Jay purposely scraping his chair back against the tiles as he stands up from his seat. He obviously wants to create a scene for some reason.

  Everyone is watching him, including Mr. Brown. We're all wondering the same thing—what the hell is he doing? Jay usually rocks up on time for class and keeps to himself the entire lesson. He doesn't make noise or cause disruptions. It's just not him. He's the introvert type that only speaks when spoken to. So, of course, we're all shocked that he's purposely drawing attention to himself.

  Everyone's eyes are on him as he walks straight up to Laiken's desk, his hands clenched into fists. Laiken opens his mouth to say something but before he can get a word out, Jay's fist meets his face in one single punch. Laiken lets out a groan of pain as his hands move up to his nose, blood now on his hands.

  The class falls silent except for the panicked murmurs and hushed gasps of shock here and there. As for me, I smile because I know Jay did that for me.

  “What the hell, Taylor?!” Laiken roars, almost as furious as Jay.

  Jay throws an accusing finger in his face. “I'm trying really hard to see your perspective on how no guy will ever be interested in Aqueela but I just can't get my head that far up my ass,” he says to Laiken, just loud enough for the rest of us to hear. “Say something like that to her again and you'll be the one who's one hundred percent screwed up in the head. You'll see just how sane I can be. It's not a threat, it's a promise.”

  Laiken nods obediently, not daring to defy Jay a second time. Mason shoots a dark glare at Jay, catching the 'sane' part of Jay's speech. Mr. Brown allows Jay to get away with it, aware that Laiken deserves it.

  However, Jay's still not quite done. He moves onto the cheerleader next. “Fiona, hon,” he emphasizes the last word, “Aqueela is the one that is out of my league. So, sit back down, shut your mouth and stop making it so obvious that you're jealous of her. It's not doing anyone any favors. And some advice, get some face with that make-up. I don't know if you've heard but, guys like me, as you say, are into seeing faces these days. If I wanted a doll, I would have gone to Toys R Us.”

  ***

  After class, I catch up with Jay – at least, I try to. He walks like the earth is about to end. Eventually, I give in and just do a full on sprint as I chase after him, tugging him to one side as the other students pass us by.

  He spins around to face me, his backpack slung over his right shoulder and his right hand holding the strap down firmly, his left hand in the pocket of his jeans. “Space. Remember?” he reminds me every chance he gets.

  NASA's Employee of the Month right here!

  When will he get over it? I miss interacting with him.

  “I just wanted to say thank you for standing up for me back there,” I tell him, truly grateful.

  “I didn't do it for you.”

  I roll my eyes at him, not buying it. “Mhmm. Sure. 'Kay,” I patronize him. I won't wound his pride. “Still, thank you, even if it wasn't for me,” I conclude as I take a bold step forward and place a kiss on his cheek.

  I smile when I feel him tense and hear his breath hitch. I pull away to see his eyes closed. I stifle my laughter and click my fingers in front of his face. Just as predicted, his eyes flutter back open, revealing that beautiful electric blue that I've grown so accustomed to seeing.

  He doesn't say anything, not that I expected him to. He seems at a loss for words right now. I caught him off guard.

  I offer him a grin before passing him by, heading to my next class. Without Jay, life is bleak.

  Chapter 37

  Call it Off

  “Aqueela, are you sure this is a good idea?” Bell asks again, restraining herself from overpowering my decision with her usual bossiness.

  “Probably not. When am I sure of anything?” I answer truthfully, lounging back in the seat in much comfort while Bells paces the room, back and forth, like the worrywart she is.

  There's suddenly a knock at the door. Bell, in fright, jumps at least ten meters into the air as a result. Her blue-green eyes lock onto me. “You look who it is,” she commands. “This was all your idea.”

  She's losing her cool.

  “Chillax a little, Bella Bells,” I say to her before opening the small slot in the door. “Who is it?” I ask, seeing only the eyes of the person on the other side of the door.

  “Me,” Max answers.

  “Who is 'me'?” I ask just to irritate him. I'm a sadist like that. “I will slap you, child,” he replies teasingly.

  “I'm sorry, I don't know an 'I will slap you, child'. Your name is not on the list of VIP members, thus you cannot enter. You are invalid and not accounted for. Goodbye.” I shut the slot back closed so that I don't have to see his ugly eyes anymore.

  Here's a little secret, there is no list.

  Bell looks to me, a frown on her face. “Was that Max?”

  I shrug. “Could be. Could very well be. Could most definitely be.”

  Bells rolls her eyes at me, having got the answer. “Let him in before he gets caught out there.”

  There's more knocking this time. It sounds as if Max is banging so hard on the door that his knuckles could very well be bleeding.

  I open the slot in the door again. “Who is it?” I chime innocently. “Aqueela!” He hisses, annoyed.

  “It can't be Aqueela because I'm Aqueela. Nice try, rascal. Now, what's the secret password?” I question.

  “You run this room like a cult! Since when was there a password? Hurry up before a teacher sees me! I don't want another detention.”

  “I don't believe that that's the password, young man.”

  “Let me in or else you die,” he threatens me. He's a little more intimidating this time and I use the word 'intimidating' very loosely.

  I give in and unbolt the door, allowing Max entrance to the teacher's lounge that I had secretly taken over with the help of my good friend, Bells. She's a wizard when it comes to bobby pins and locked doors. I love dragging her into these kind of rebellious situations.

  Max shoves me out of his way, angered. I ignore his sulking and quickly bolt the door shut again, wouldn't want a teacher to walk in and see that there's no longer a teacher's lounge.

  “I brought milkshakes for us,” Max says to Bells as he hands her a vanilla milkshake, knowing fully well that she likes the flavor vanilla.

  Bells pecks his cheek in thanks.

  I notice that he's only brought two milkshakes. I know that he already drank his on the way here like the pig he is, so the remaining milkshake must be mine, but he's not offering it to me and it's bubblegum flavored.

  I pout. “What about me?”

  Max shrugs carelessly. “What about you? Didn't you have one on your date with Blubber?” He smirks.

  I stood Blubber up. He was not very happy but it led to him meeting a girl his age. If anything, he should be thanking me.

  I grab the bubblegum milkshake right out of his hands and begin to slurp it madly.

  “Hey!” Max yells at me. “That's mine!”

  “It's mine now, so shut up!” I retort in all seriousness. This is what he gets for not buying me one.

  Max sighs, knowing full well that he can say goodbye to his milkshake.

  “Why must you always shut me up?” he whines with a pout of his own.

  “Why must you always breathe?” I turn the question back on him. “Who knows? I don't have all the answers.”