Eve

by Beverley Hughesdon

  And finally he almost smiled. ‘I suppose heaving a trunk all the way across my roof might have been a bit much, even for you.’ Then his half-smile rapidly gave way to a frown. ‘But if this was your intended plan, why then did you scale that pinnacle?’

  ‘Because you’d made me promise that before I left you could see me.’

  He stood staring at me for a moment before he said, ‘Yes, I did, didn’t I?’ He raised his eyes to the ceiling and exclaimed, ‘Oh, spare me from the ruthless logic of the seventeen-year old!.’ Then looking straight at me again he announced, ‘Now, I want another promise, and this time I shall endeavour to be more precise. Promise me that while I run downstairs you will not leave this room, by door, windows,’ he glanced round at his nicely flickering flames, ‘Or chimney.’

  ‘I promise – on my herring gutter’s knife. I’ll stay in this chair, if you want.’

  ‘I do want, Eve.’ He closed the door behind him and left me anchored in the schoolroom – from whence, such a short time before, he’d tried to banish me. I pulled his jacket right round me and began to shake again. Stop it, Eve – you got away with it – though that stupid joke of his had been a bit too near the mark, I could have finished up flying, only without the benefit of wings –

  Wings!

  “I had wings… wings like silver… but he wouldn’t let me fly…” And echoing in my head was her terrible wail of despair, “He cut off my wings!”

  She thought she could fly – she must have tried to jump. He’d managed to stop her, then – but seeing me perched up there my arms flailing he’d thought I was trying to do the same – and all he could do was stand and watch. I was so ashamed of myself.

  Tugging my arms out of the sleeves I turned and buried my face in his jacket, seeking the comfort of his sweat. I just lay there waiting for him to come back. Which he did, quite quickly.

  I sat up straight. ‘Monty, I’m so sorry – it was all my fault. I made a mistake – the lightning conductor was loose, but I didn’t test it – I didn’t test before I moved. I forgot Apa’s rules!’

  I saw the expression on Monty’s face and ran to him. He held me tight, rocking me – we were rocking each other. I reassured him, ‘Honestly, I didn’t intend to – to do anything silly. It would have been quite safe – it was, once I found my balance, and got my nerve back.’

  He said softly, ‘So that’s why you stayed on up there – to get your nerve back?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  He echoed, ‘Of course. I forget at my peril that you’re the girl I watched climbing so calmly over the Gob of Helspie.’ Still holding me he began stroking my hair – stroking and drawing the pins out at the same time, until my plait fell free. But not for long – because now he coiled that plait of mine round his fingers – coiling it tightly up until his warm palm lay heavy on my neck. ‘You gave me a nasty shock out there, Eve.’

  My lips brushed his ear as I confessed, ‘I gave myself a bit of a shock, too.’ Then, lifting my face to his I admitted, ‘Apa always warned me never to climb when I was angry – but tonight I did, and so I made a mistake.’ I put my head down on his shoulder again and whispered, ‘I was so angry with you for sending me away.’

  I felt rather than heard his sigh. ‘I tried so hard to do the right thing by you – and it very nearly ended in disaster.’ He gave me a quick, fierce hug before setting me away. ‘You go back to your armchair puss cat. I’ve brought up some more milk – but I’ll make the cocoa this time.’

  So I sat waiting, waiting for Monty.

  When he returned with the two dogs at his heels he was wearing his velvet smoking jacket and slippers again, and carrying a tray. He set the tray down and handed me my large nursery cup and saucer. He looked just a twitch too pleased with himself, and giving half a giggle, I teased, ‘I didn’t know you could make cocoa, Lord Rothbury!’

  ‘I can do lots of things you don’t know about, Miss Courtney!’ A full giggle this time, which was met with his smile of approval. ‘You’re looking rather pinker now, Eve.’

  ‘So are you.’ I raised the plain blue-banded cup to my lips and took a cautious sip. ‘Your cocoa is really very good!’

  ‘You sound surprised, Eve – but obviously I had to serve my time as a fag at school.’ Apa had told me about doing that, so now I asked Monty, ‘Could you make toast as well?’

  ‘And rather good scrambled eggs – though I do say it myself.’ He smiled. ‘Although there was one unfortunate incident. I’d dumped a plateful of my best scrambled eggs and toast down on a chair while I brewed the tea – then Fred Parton turned up with his mind on something else as usual and before I could stop him he sat down on top of the whole lot!’ I started laughing, and Monty joined me.

  So there we were again, sitting opposite each other toasting our toes and drinking our cocoa. It was just the same as before – only not the same. Putting my empty cup down I said, ‘Monty, do you remember that time in Chelsea when I – when Eve Gunn – offered to be your mistress?’

  Setting down his own cup he said quietly. ‘Yes, I do.’

  ‘Well, at first we got – sort of at cross purposes, so you suggested we start again – and play a game that when you asked me questions I had to tell you the truth. Now tonight you’ve already asked me questions, and I told you the truth, so—’ I finished with a rush, ‘So now it’s my turn.’

  ‘I see.’

  I leant forward anxiously, ‘Will you do it, Monty – please?’

  He stood up. ‘Yes, Eve, I will. But, as I think I told you then, games have rules – and I’m making a couple of my own. One is that I reserve the right to decline to answer if I feel your question is – shall we say, inappropriate – and the other rule is that there must be some limit on the number of those questions.’ Moving over to the games cupboard he took out the dice cup and rattled it. ‘We’ll let lady luck decide for us tonight.’ He handed me the cup. I rattled and rattled that dice, praying for a six. It was a three.

  He picked it up, ‘Fire away, then, Eve.’

  Now I hesitated. Did I really want to know? Finally I plunged in. ‘Why did you say it was the right thing—’ I corrected, ‘That you were doing the right thing, by sending me away?’

  He replied in a level tone, ‘Because I am a danger to you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I am a danger to you because I want something from you that I have no right to ask for.’

  I paused to think. Since I already knew exactly what he’d wanted from Eve Gunn – what was the point of wasting my last question on that? I stared into the fire he’d so carefully re-built for me, and heard him say above my head, ‘You have one more question, puss cat.’ And his voice sounded almost as if he were prompting me –

  So, my eyes still on the flames, I asked, ‘What is it you want from me, Monty?’

  ‘Love, Eve.’ My head snapped back. He said quietly, ‘So you see, I had to try and send you away. For your own sake.’

  ‘For my sake?’

  ‘You are still very young.’ He smiled – my serpent, who loved me.

  This second shock was more than I could cope with. Hiding my face in my hands I began to cry. Crying with relief.

  He – you – came and knelt at my feet – put your arms around me, cuddling me, stroking my hair, holding me close, comforting me – and handing me your large white handkerchief. ‘Have a good blow, puss cat.’

  So I did. Then I gave him a watery smile and he said softly, ‘It’s all been too much for you – I shouldn’t have said that, should I?’

  ‘I’m glad you did.’

  ‘Yes, so am I – tonight. Tomorrow I shall feel differently.’

  ‘VVhy?’

  His fingertip stroked my cheek. ‘Because Eve, you know my position.’

  Wings… he cut off my wings… Sybella at Sunset.

  Monty said softly, ‘I have nothing to ofter you, Eve – there is nothing I can offer you.’ Raising my own hand I gently traced the arch of his eyebrows. Monty, my se
rpent who protected me – even from himself.

  He sat back on his haunches. ‘I don’t know what we’re going to do now, Eve.’

  I reassured him, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll think of something.’

  He winced. ‘After what happened earlier tonight—’

  ‘That, Monty, was my not thinking.’

  With a smile he rose to his feet. ‘Well, I think it’s time I packed you off to bed – you look very tired.’ He paused a moment before continuing, ‘And Eve, I would prefer you not visit my roof again before you leave – especially not the roof of this tower.’

  I said quickly, ‘I always went round by the drainpipe – I never set foot on the steps to the trap door, because you told me not to.’

  He stood there looking at me, without speaking, but still I heard his voice in my head saying that time at Wenlock Court, ‘You have a weasel way with words, young woman.’ And now even worse I’d had a weasel way with his words – words which he’d said to protect me, because I’d been ill – I felt my face burn with shame as I dropped my eyes from his.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Then looking up at him again I admitted, ‘I think sometimes being Eve Gunn led to my behaving badly.’

  He replied quietly, ‘In all fairness, puss, there were times when your being Eve Gunn led to bad behaviour on my part, too.’

  Gratefully I reached out my hand to his. He gave it a quick squeeze before returning it to me and saying, ‘On the other hand, if you hadn’t played Eve Gunn we two wouldn’t be here now, would we?’ With a smile he moved to the door and opened it for me, ‘Off you go now, puss. I’ll see you—’ He closed his eyes a second as before re-phrasing, ‘We’ll enjoy our farewell breakfast together in the morning. Good night.’

  As I opened my bedroom door I turned and smiled. ‘Good night, Monty, and thank you – thank you so muoh.’

  I undressed with hands that were trembling with joy and relief. I was loved again – Monty loved me. Tumbling into bed I fell instantly into sleep – and awoke to that joy in the morning.

  Chapter Fifty Four

  Monty loved me. I was adrift no longer. I had an anchor again, and a safe harbour in time of trouble – Monty, who loved me.

  It was still early, so I lay back on the pillow in that lovely golden room and began to think. Thinking first of yesterday evening, and the love and comfort he’d given me after my stupid mistake on the roof.

  But then I remembered why I’d gone rushing up on the roof in the first place – because I’d been so sure he didn’t care for me, and was simply intent on shuffling me off onto someone else. I’d been so sure – and so wrong. Knowing that he could offer me nothing but a dishonourable relationship, shunned by the world, he’d been trying to protect me from himself. It was because he loved me that he’d tried to send me away. So now I had to think, and quickly – otherwise he’d try and send me away again.

  Whatever could I do? Oh Apa, if only you were here to help me! Grief pierced me yet again as I mourned my Apa and the lost green paradise of my childhood. But in that stab of anguish India gave me my answer. An answer I’d made use of already, as a joke – now it must become true. For a while, at least.

  Turning over I drifted off to sleep again, until Elsie’s voice woke me, ‘Good morning, miss.’

  As soon as I was bathed and dressed I set off in search of Monty. Mr Hayter told me he’d taken the dogs out as usual, and should be on his way back by now, so I went to meet him.

  ‘Good morning, Eve.’ Already I saw the trouble in his eyes, and reassured him, ‘It’s alright Monty, I know what we can do.’

  ‘You do?’ I heard the doubt in his voice.

  I was firm. ‘Yes.’

  ‘But Eve, you do realise there are certain choices that I cannot, and will not, let you make?’

  ‘Yes, I know.’ I smiled up at him in love – and gratitude, because I knew too that I wasn’t ready for those choices yet.

  ‘So what are your plans?’

  ‘I’m going up to London this morning, as we agreed before, and first I’ll see Mr Henderson about Apa’s money. Then—’

  Monty interrupted me. ‘There’s just one problem with that idea, Eve – Hayter found an envelope for me when he unlocked the post box this morning. You’ll have to let me return it to you – I won’t have you going up to Town penniless.’ His eyebrows came together. ‘I can’t imagine how you intended to get there in the first place—’

  My turn to interrupt now. I said with a smile, ‘I’ll tell you over breakfast, Monty. Then as soon as I’ve seen Mr Henderson I’ll find a place to live.’

  He said softly, ‘Eve, you do need someone to keep an eye on you.’

  ‘Yes, I agree – but I’ve got someone, haven’t I? My bracelet brother.’ I waited, holding my breath.

  He began to laugh, ‘Indeed you have – two of them, even, since Bym will be in Town with me shortly. And,’ he added rather too quickly, ‘A bracelet cousin Eunice, and cousian-law in Ted.’

  I put my pennorth in, ‘Anyway, I already know someone at the place where I’m planning to live.’

  ‘And where exactly is that, Eve?’

  ‘When it’s all arranged it I’ll let you know where.’

  He gave a slight groan, ‘Somewhere I won’t approve of, I suspect.’ Almost certainly not. But I simply smiled. ‘Well, Bym and I will come and inspect the premises—’ Oh dear. ‘—as soon as you bring the address round to Chelsea.’ He glanced up at the stable yard clock. ‘Ten minutes to breakfast, Eve – I’ll see you in the morning room.’ He whistled Span and Jack to heel and I stood watching his broad back as he strode off to the service court – turning briefly to smile and doff his cap to me before he rounded the corner of the tower and out of my sight.

  Breakfast was of the usual excellent quality – but with the addition of one or two surprises. Though I suppose Monty’s opening proposal was scarcely a surprise.

  He proposed a compromise. That I should attend a good girls’ day school in London while living in a pleasant boarding house, which Eunice would help me choose – along with a selection of pretty frocks to wear when I met the nice girls Eunice would introduce me to at her little tea parties. ‘So, Eve – what do you say?’

  I said, ‘No.’ Softening my refusal with a smile.

  ‘You’re quite sure?’

  ‘Yes. I’m too old for school now.’

  ‘I think you are, too – but following your own policy, I thought it worth a try.’ We exchanged complicit smiles. ‘Besides,’ he added, ‘It I can tell Eunice this evening that I did come up with the suggestion she may be slightly less annoyed at my failure to ensure your agreement to her original plan.’

  ‘Her plan?’

  Monty said hastily, ‘Mine too, of course.’ Fascinated, I watched the tip of his ears redden as he pressed the bell.

  Mr Hayter appeared bearing a silver salver, on which reposed a small oblong of white pasteboard – the latter obviously not a surprise to Monty, who as soon as the butler withdrew informed me, ‘This is for you, Eve. While you’re looking for lodgings Hayter is most anxious that you stay at his cousin’s hotel in Bloomsbury. It appears Hayter is a great admirer of your grandmother’s book – he asked me to tell you he’s read it several times.’

  I was awed. ‘Gosh!’

  Monty admitted, ‘I’m afraid that apart from a quick scan the other evening I haven’t yet done so myself.’

  ‘Nor have I,’ I confessed. ‘I’ve only dipped in. it is a bit – turgid – isn’t it? A pity, because she found out lots of interesting things – if only she’d laid it all out more clearly, like Watt did.’

  He laughed. ‘I certainly know what to give you for your birthday!’

  ‘You don’t know when my birthday is.’

  ‘Indeed I do – I made a point of asking Henderson, and I’ve jotted the date down in my diary.’ I glowed.

  ‘But talking of Henderson, you must tell me, Eve – how did you intend to reach London without a single farthing in your purse?
’ I grinned across at him. One of his eyebrows rose. ‘Ah, I’ve been rather slow, haven’t I? The girl who walked from Almora to Milam. I agree the route would not be quite as steep – but it would still take you some time. You’d need food, shelter—?’

  ‘There’s always barns, rabbits – if I wanted a loaf I could offer to milk some cows.’

  He leant forward, looking interested. ‘Can you milk a cow?’

  ‘I can do lots of things you don’t know about, Lord Rothbury!’

  He capped me. ‘Most of them illegal, I presume.’

  We were both laughing as I retorted, ‘That’s a bit unfair to Mistress McNiven.’

  ‘Indeed. Well, you’ve convinced me you don’t need this, Eve.’ Picking up the money he put it in his pocket. Oh no! He started laughing – braying. ‘Your face is a picture, puss cat!’ I said quickly, ‘As it happens I realised this morning I do need it – for Elsie’s tip.’ I sat back, hopefully.

  He took out the coins, added a few more, and then pushed them over to me. ‘Here you are then, puss.’

  Hastily I pocketed them. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘And here’s Hayter’s card. I’ll feel much happier if I know where you are.’ Just as I felt much happier knowing he wanted to know.

  Monty stood up and went to the hotplate. ‘Now, what shall I help you to? Eggs, bacon, sausage, devilled kidneys – or perhaps you’d prefer to start with a brace of kippers? As long as you don’t throw either of them at me!’ He laughed as my glow became a blush.

  We ate steadily on – just exchanging the odd word or glance – or smile. I did enjoy that breakfast – especially as whenever he lifted his hand I caught a glimpse of silken tassels in every colour of the rainbow. Yes, he was already wearing my bracelet again.

  When we’d drained our final cups of tea and wiped our lips with our linen napkins, Monty said, his voice serious now, ‘Puss cat, I think it’s high time you put Eve Gunn behind you – she was a rather reckless young woman.’

  ‘Yes, I think I should, too – but you did say that before I left—’

  He shook his head as he told me firmly, ‘No, Eve. I am not going to give Eve Gunn a goodbye kiss.’ His voice softened, ‘Much as I would like to do so.’ Then reaching into his pocket he said, ‘I have something else to give you, though, puss cat.’ A small tissue-wrapped package, tied with string and sealed. As he laid it down beside my plate I could see imprinted in the red of the wax a tiny peacock in his pride. Monty’s own seal.