She watched as he poured wine into their glasses and put the bottle back carefully while his gaze kept searching her face, his eyes meeting hers as if she was the only woman on the face of the earth. She loved it. The feeling of being the focus of his caring attention, the way he made her feel special.
He held his glass up to her. “I’d like to propose a toast to you and me.”
“A toast,” she said, a smile hugging her lips.
He took a sip. “So often we forget how fortunate we are.” He put his glass down. “As far as I’m concerned, I’m the luckiest man alive, and it’s all because of you.”
She picked up her glass again, excitement dancing through her. “To happiness.”
“And to us,” he said. “Peggy Anderson, you and I are going to be very happy.”
“You can see the future?” she asked, trying for a teasing tone while his words filled her heart with joy.
“Very clearly. You and me together. It’s inevitable, you know.”
“What is?” she asked, knowing the answer but needing to hear the words.
“Me and you,” he said. With his voice filled with love, he got up and came around the table, knelt beside her, turned her toward him and kissed her with so much gentleness she could hardly believe it.
He touched her cheek. “I love you.”
His words took her breath away. It was as if they had been together for years, not a few weeks. She needed him with her, wanted his attention, his caring and love. For the first time she experienced some of what her parents must have felt for each other. They always seemed to be in a world all their own. Now she understood why. When two people loved each other, nothing else mattered as much as being together.
Her body tingled at his touch, the look in his eyes. She returned his kiss, stroking his face, feeling her body reach for his. She was in new territory. Her feelings for Rory were real, her need for him overpowering. With her heart thudding in her chest, she looked up into his eyes. She wanted to tell him she loved him. That she’d never felt like this before and never would again. He was waiting for her...
She ran her fingers along his jaw, soaking in the feel of his skin, the scent of him. Was he about to pick her up and carry her to her bedroom and make love to her? Her heart rose in her throat, and a happy kind of anxiety and excitement made her feel as if she could take on the world. What a great thing that she’d decided to put fresh candles in her bedroom and changed the bed, putting on her best cotton sheets.
“Ah... I think it’s best that we move on,” he said, a little sheepishly, his gaze wavering. “Hate to admit it, but this floor is a little hard on the knees.”
I love you had been on her lips.
They both gave a weak laugh to cover their predicament.
Once back in his chair, Rory seemed so focused on his plate, he hardly looked her way. She was all right with that. After all, he’d spent a painful few minutes on his knees and she’d been too dumb to respond to anything other than his kiss.
Feeling that she once again missed the chance to tell him her true feelings, she ate slowly, listening to the ’60s on satellite radio, her attention centered on the man sitting across from her, his hair tousled and so touchable.
“Like the view?” he asked, a teasing, sexy tone back in his voice.
“Yeah, you could say that,” she murmured, taking one final bite of her fish. Rory placed his fork on the plate, picked up his wine and leaned back in the chair. “I have something special to talk to you about. About our future,” he said, the old excitement back in his eyes.
Oh! Was he going to propose? No! Too soon for that. Was he going to suggest they move in together? Maybe... “Come on. Don’t keep me in suspense.”
“Where should I start?” he said, looking into the distance.
She held her breath, anxious and excited and so much in love with this man.
Don’t do this to me. Tell me!
“You remember me talking about my team leader in Haiti, Grant Williams?”
“Yes...” What did Grant Williams have to do with them?
“He called today. He’s in Boston on business.” Rory leaned forward, reaching for her hand.
A little surprised but still wanting to know what he was talking about, she slid her hand across the table to meet his. “I hope it’s not bad news.”
“Yes and no.” Rory stroked her fingers. “One of the orphanages our organization did the maintenance on burned down. The children are safe, but it was terrifying. They are going to be placed wherever there is room for them. Some will end up in other communities, all of them will lose what they’d come to consider their family. These children who have lost so much already are losing again.”
Peggy could only imagine the loneliness and fear these children must be feeling. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Grant must be really upset, and the other aid workers...”
Rory leaned closer, his expression filled with compassion. “These children need our organization’s help. Grant is home to make arrangements to provide that assistance, and he called me for advice.”
“Do you need to go to Boston? Or is he coming here to see you? I’d love the chance to meet your friend.”
Rory clasped her hand in his. “Grant has asked me to go back to Haiti to reconstruct an orphanage with modular units, to reunite these children as quickly as possible.”
“But you told me you needed time to recover from everything you’d seen and experienced in Haiti. Surely he can’t expect you to return to the place, at least not yet.”
Rory didn’t speak, but his gaze never left her face.
What did he want her to say? Where was he going with this? “Are you seriously considering this?”
“Those children need me.”
“So do I. We need each other, don’t we? I mean, we’ve just started to get to know each other. You said you loved me.” She could feel something shift inside her. She felt left out of his life, alone. What Grant Williams wanted was obviously still very important to him. “I thought you wanted a relationship with me.”
His blue eyes focused on her, he whispered, “I do. We’re perfect together.”
How could he look at her that way? Make her feel what she was feeling, and then talk about Haiti? “Then...you’re not going back to Haiti, are you? You’ll help Grant coordinate things from here?”
“I told him I’d go back with him. We’re going to work out the details later this week.”
Shock rifled through her. She loved him. He loved her. Just when she believed they had a chance together, just when she was sure she’d never felt this way before about any man.
How could he do this to her? To them? She had never felt this horrible, stomach-twisting feeling of loss, of loneliness. All because she let herself believe that a man loved her. A man who, after one phone call from a friend, had made plans to leave her.
She pulled her hand away from his, drawing in a deep breath, betrayal settling around her like a cloak. He said he loved her. She was about to tell him she loved him. She believed in them, in the happiness she felt when he was around. He shattered it all with his words. What a fool she’d been to trust Rory, when all he could think about was what he wanted. It had been that way since the first time they’d met, when he was supposed to meet her for coffee and forgot. She’d been too blinded by the possibilities of what he seemed to offer her to see him for what he really was—totally self-absorbed. “Then I guess that’s it.”
“What do you mean? It’s only the beginning.”
“For you, obviously.”
“No! Peggy, I love you. I want you to come with me to Haiti. You have so much to offer these children. You could work in the local clinic drawing blood like you do here. You could help the families you meet in the clinic. You could do so much. You would make such a difference in these children’s lives.”
“Why did you do this to me? To us?” she asked, hurt and anger tightening her throat.
“What? I thought you’d understand ho
w much we’re needed.” Disbelief stood out on his face.
“You made the decision you wanted to make. Not the one we wanted. When you arrived here so full of caring for me, I thought we were...” She scrubbed her face to keep from crying. Was this how her mother felt when her father made it clear he couldn’t leave Eden Harbor? That the decision was his to make, not hers? “I thought you loved me.”
“I do. Peggy, I do.”
“There’s no relationship if you make the decisions without talking to me first. If we are a couple, if we have a future together, you would have wanted me to be part of your plan. Not someone you informed after the decision was made.”
“Peggy, I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”
“No, Rory, you didn’t.” Her heart was a hard ball in her chest, her tears about to flood down her cheeks when she stood up, nearly knocking her chair over. “It’s best if you leave.”
For a few minutes he hesitated as if he wanted to say more, but she couldn’t bear to hear another word. “Please.”
He got up, moved toward the door, looked back at her, his face dark, his expression glum. “I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
PEGGY WATCHED HIM LEAVE, fierce tears of betrayal coursing down her cheeks. She loved him. She’d trusted him. This was supposed to be the happiest night of her life, the fulfillment of her dream of finding a man who loved her and whom she loved in return. Yet here she stood, watching his truck go down her driveway, feeling like the biggest loser on the planet.
What had she done? Why hadn’t she tried to reason with him? What if she’d told him she loved him? Would it have made a difference?
She couldn’t be alone right now. She glanced around her empty kitchen at the leftovers of dinner, the untouched dessert, and didn’t know where to turn. Grabbing the phone, she called Gayle, who picked up on the first ring.
“Hey, thought you were getting together with Rory tonight,” Gayle said.
“We did,” she said, struggling to hold back the sobs.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can you come over?”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Peggy heard Gayle’s voice as she called out to her son, Adam, just before she hung up the phone. Hearing her friend’s quick response made her feel so much better. What would she have done if Gayle hadn’t been home? She could have called Sherri, but Sherri was expecting a baby. She didn’t need to be called out so late.
Relieved not to be facing the rest of the evening alone, she hurried around, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaning off the dining room table.
She was just blowing out the candles on the table when she saw a car pull in her driveway. Hurrying to the door, she opened it and went out to greet her friend.
“Tell me what happened.” Gayle said without preamble as she wrapped Peggy in a tight hug.
“Let’s go inside. I’ve got coffee ready to go. I hope I didn’t bring you away from anything... Nate?”
“Nate has gone to a basketball game with Daniel Reeves, one of the teenagers he’s working with. Adam wanted to go but he has a test tomorrow. He’s doing so much better in school these days. I can’t believe the difference in him.”
“Does he ever hear from his father now that he’s out of prison?” Peggy asked, thankful to have a subject of conversation that wouldn’t make her want to cry.
“No. Thank heavens. To think how much I worried over that disastrous situation, the mess I made of my life by not telling the truth about Harry. Thankfully, it all turned out right in the end.”
Gayle had been married to Harry Young, Adam’s father, when Adam was born. When Harry went to prison for nearly killing a police officer, Gayle divorced him. It was only a few months ago that Harry had been reunited with his son after being released on parole from prison. “Is Adam’s father still involved with fellow convicts?”
“Don’t know. Since he hasn’t stayed in touch with Adam on a regular basis, I have no idea what he’s doing. Adam doesn’t seem to mind that he’s not around—not surprising since he never knew his father. Of course, Adam and Nate are getting along so well with each other. How can you need a man who went to prison before you were born?”
“I remember how you worried about Adam and how he and Harry would get along.”
“Yeah...” Gayle sighed. “But I didn’t come all the way out here to talk about Harry.” She slid into the chair behind the kitchen table and shrugged her coat off. “Now tell me what’s going on.”
Peggy dug the gelato out of the freezer and brought it to the table. “Rory was here. We were having a beautiful dinner together. I was so sure that we were going to be able to work things out. He seemed so caring, attentive and made me feel wonderful.”
Gayle sighed. “Sounds perfect. So what’s the problem?”
“He told me he’s going back to Haiti. He’s leaving me, our relationship, if you could call it that. I’m pretty sure he never intended to stay here in Eden Harbor. Being here was simply a chance for him to rest up for a while. He let me think he wanted a relationship with me, when the truth was he didn’t plan to stay. All this time... I had so much hope that this time was different. I was so wrong.” Tears stung Peggy’s eyes.
Gayle gave her a stunned look. “I didn’t know he was even considering such a move.”
Peggy poured two cups of coffee and got the milk out of the fridge. “Neither did I. That’s the whole point. He didn’t ask me what I thought. He made a decision without even considering me. While I thought we were sharing a loving, caring relationship, he was off agreeing to return to the work he did in Haiti. I know he loves children, and so do I. He talked about going back to Haiti someday, but I thought that was out there somewhere in the future. That if we were together, we would talk about it when the time came. I never expected him to do something like this.” She pressed her lips together to keep from crying. “He’s made another impetuous decision. It’s how he likes to live his life, how he behaves. When I first met him, he warned me that this is how he operates. I should have listened. I can’t be around someone like that.”
“Peggy, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not fair. Rory said he loved me. I want someone to love, who loves me, but I can’t do this. I can’t be with someone who cares so little...”
“Honey. This is probably not a good time to bring this up, and I will understand if you feel I’m not being very kind here.”
Peggy sat down across from Gayle and poured milk into her coffee. “You’re always kind to me.”
“Then here goes. I think it’s time you looked at your life from a different perspective.”
What did Gayle mean? “Go on.”
“You can’t change your mother. She hurt you terribly, and you’ve had to deal with it the best way you knew how. You moved here. You’re happy here. I think you should take stock of your situation and decide where you want to focus your energy.”
Peggy frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“You’ve let your mother’s behavior influence how you see your life for as long as I’ve known you.”
“I moved here because of her,” she argued.
“I know. It must have been a difficult decision.”
“It was. And I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with her.”
“Exactly. She has forced you to react to her decisions, a very difficult and painful thing to do to you. You’re not responsible for your mother or her behavior. It’s time you stepped out of her shadow. She’s not you. You wouldn’t do what she did. You are kind and caring. Focus your time and energy on what you have right here.”
“What I did have, you mean? Or thought I had?”
“Rory made a mistake in not telling you. I’m sure that he left here wishing he could apologize and try to make it right. I’m sure he’ll be back to try to convince you that he’s sincere in his feelings for you.” Gayle stirred her coffee slowly. “In the meantime, you have to do a little soul-searching. If you want
this to be about you, you need to tell Rory how you feel. You love this man. Don’t give up on him.”
Peggy remembered that moment earlier when she felt a little of what her mother must have felt.
“You didn’t tell your mom how you really felt, how much you needed to know the truth. You got angry and said things I’m sure you both regret deep down. You carried that distrust from Seattle to Eden Harbor and let those negative feelings hold sway over your life rather than letting go.”
“Do you really believe that?” Peggy asked, feeling for the first time that she might have found a different way to deal with her mom.
“If you love Rory, why didn’t you tell him? What held you back? Was it because you weren’t sure you could trust him with your feelings?”
She was speechless at how easily her friend honed in on the truth.
Gayle took a sip of her coffee. “Don’t you remember what I was like when I let what happened in Anaheim spill over into my life here?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Then trust me. If you want to be happy, you must accept your mother for who she is, not who you want her to be. Once you do that, you’ll be able to work through your feelings where Rory is concerned and decide what’s best for you.”
“Maybe so...”
“Not just maybe. It’s for real. You have to decide how you feel about Rory, about what you see as his betrayal.”
“But it is a betrayal, isn’t it?”
“No. I think that’s where your past with your mom comes into it. You felt betrayed by your mom, and rightfully so. But what Rory did wasn’t a betrayal as much as it was a mistake in judgment.”
Gayle’s eyes were sad. “Please don’t judge Rory through the lens of your experience with your mother.”
Peggy felt Gayle’s words in her heart. She had no idea what would happen with Rory. Yet she couldn’t face him and what he’d done, the major decision he’d made without her. “What kind of relationship would we have if Rory doesn’t take my interests into consideration?”
“Probably not a good one. But if you care about him, tell him exactly how you feel. Don’t let there be any doubt in his mind.”
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