From Fat to Thin Thinking
Page 13
Throw Away the Weight Struggle Exercise
This is one of my favorite exercises at the Shift Weight Mastery Process seminars. I have everyone take the piece of paper on which they have written their Weight Struggle Story, crumple it up, and throw it in the trash.
Doing this symbolically rids them of that heavy story. It was not serving them in any way and cluttered their precious brain space like a piece of trash!
Directions: Crush the paper on which you’ve told your Weight Struggle Story into a wad and THROW IT IN THE TRASH. You are now leaving that legacy behind you. You no longer need it, phew!
START THE JOURNEY REVIEW
Excellent work, Apprentice. You have completed the final Shift in your Start the Journey process.
Please confirm that you have:
Forgiven yourself so that you can reconnect with yourself and love yourself down the scale.
Made the decision that you are an Apprentice of Weight Mastery, leaving the struggler behind.
Created your mastery vision and have stepped on the path to your ideal mastery weight and life.
Turned up your belief to 100 percent so that you are moving toward long-term permanent weight release.
Great job. Give yourself acknowledgement for the SHIFT you have made so far. You are ready to move forward to your first hypnosis session—START THE JOURNEY HYPNOSIS.
CHAPTER 19
HYPNOSIS SESSION #1
Start The Journey Hypnosis
You are now ready to begin the first hypnosis session in the Shift Weight Mastery Process. It is called Start the Journey. This hypnosis session is a wonderful end to the processing that you have done thus far. Hypnosis takes the work you completed in this section to a deep, subconscious level. I hope that you are excited!!
Remember, hypnosis is not mind control but a way of refocusing your mind and attention. Your conscious mind will still be present and acts as a filter for your subconscious so you cannot be made to do anything that is not aligned with your conscious desires.
Instructions
Go to www.FromFatToThinThinking.com to access your Start the Journey hypnosis session.
Listen to hypnosis only while you are in a relaxed position.
Listen with an open mind that is expecting 100 percent success.
DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY HYPNOSIS SESSION WHILE DRIVING OR OPERATING HEAVY OR COMPLEX MACHINERY.
Expect to feel relaxed; don’t expect to feel “hypnotized” in some out-of-body experience.
If you fall asleep, try the session in a less relaxed position next time (sitting more upright). However, hypnosis can make an impact even if you listen while you are asleep
Enjoy your hypnosis. When you finish the session, meet me at the next phase where we will find your guide—YOUR INNER COACH.
THE SHIFT
Creating The Connection To Your Inner Coach
Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.
—Benjamin Franklin
CHAPTER 20
AT LAST, MY COACH HAS COME ALONG
Meet Your Inner Coach
Welcome back from your first hypnosis session! I hope you enjoyed the relaxed mind state and felt a shift starting to happen within you. Everyone’s first experience with hypnosis varies, so whatever you experienced is perfect. After the first hypnosis session at Shift Weight Mastery Process seminar, a man once told me: “I heard everything you said during the session, but I am not sure I ‘went there.’ My mind was kind of all over the place.”
I assured him that even when your conscious mind may wander during a session, your unconscious mind is listening and shifting. This man went on to release 50 pounds in the first year after the seminar. Thus far, he has maintained his weight release for five years. So even if you didn’t think the first hypnosis session “worked,” keep going and using this powerful mind tool. I assure you it makes a huge difference.
INSTRUCTIONS: MEET YOUR INNER COACH
Continue to have that pen and your journal handy. You will be writing.
Go to the Online Resource Center at www.FromFatToThinThinking.com. There you will find additional resources to augment your Meet your Inner Coach process. Head over there now to get started.
Download the Inner Coach hypnosis recording. Listen to it at the end of this section. This recording will also be found at www.FromFatToThinThinking.com in the Online Resource Center.
Meeting Your Inner Coach
I bet you have no problem coaching, nurturing, or problem-solving for others and in certain areas of your own life where you are functioning well. But around the area of weight management, you probably are more accustomed to hearing your restrictive and condemning Inner Critic and your resistant and instant-gratification-seeking Inner Rebel.
This communication system has kept you riding the same un-merry-go-round of the Weight Struggle Cycle for years. Beginning at this moment, you are going to start a new dialogue between you and the wise, patient, rational, Weight Master within.
At first, the idea of working with an Inner Coach might seem like a stretch, but I assure you that not only will your coach’s guiding voice become a part of you but also by the end of your 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice this powerful way of communicating with yourself will become a natural and welcome part of your life. You will become hooked on the wonderful feeling you get from this special relationship with this aspect of yourself.
Case Study: Leanne Turned the Nurturing on Herself
Leanne struggled with the same 20 pounds from her high school days through her thirties, losing and gaining it numerous times. Over a six-year time span, she had three children, gaining weight with each pregnancy. When she came to the Shift Weight Mastery Process seminar, Leanne was 50 pounds over her ideal weight. She hated how she looked and that she had been gradually going up in her clothing size. Her husband was also putting pressure on her to lose weight, which stressed her enormously. Not only did she have an Inner Critic but an outer one, too!
At the seminar she bravely raised her hand when I asked for a volunteer for the Meet Your Inner Coach exercise. She told the group, “I’m not sure about finding my Inner Coach. I think she has moved to the moon, but I will try.”
“I know you might think that,” I said, “but with three kids, you are coaching most of the time, right?”
“Yes, I guess that’s true, but that doesn’t involve me dealing with myself. I think differently when it comes to my kids. Their health and happiness is my priority,” she said.
“Would you talk to your kids the way you talk to yourself about your eating challenges?” I asked.
“No, I am more cruel with myself than I would ever be with anyone in my life. I call myself ‘lazy pig’ and ‘hopeless.’”
“Well, instead of being your worst enemy, you have a chance to be your own best friend. Are you game to bring your Inner Coach back from outer space?”
Leanne smiled and nodded.
“Okay good. Close your eyes and take a Shift Breath. Tell me about the vision you had of yourself in the long-term ideal weight exercise.”
Leanne smiled and answered, “I see myself on vacation with my family in about five years. We’re in the mountains where we go every summer. I’m slim and strong. I’m swimming off the dock in the lake with my kids. I’m not self-conscious in my bathing suit. In fact, I feel great, and my kids are proud of me for keeping the weight off and changing my life. We are a healthy family, and I am definitely leading the kids in feeling good about themselves and their bodies, too.”
I asked Leanne to go further with this vision, and said, “This image of you is what I want you to cultivate as the image and essence of your Inner Coach. What does your Inner Coach sound like in this image? How do you imagine her sounding as she speaks to you?”
“She definitely has a reassuring, wise ton
e to her voice.” Leanne’s voice cracked with emotion. “I feel a little tug at my heart that something is going on inside of me that is warm and nurturing. It’s like the ice is melting.”
“Excellent, now take another Shift Breath and imagine stepping into the body of your Inner Coach and looking at the world through her eyes, hearing what she hears, feeling what she feels, and thinking the thoughts that she thinks. In other words, embody yourself at your long-term ideal weight and mastery mindset. Spend a moment acknowledging the you that is at your long-term ideal weight, the you that is confident, stronger, wiser, and skilled at Weight Mastery.”
With Leanne in this imaginary place, I did the Meet Your Inner Coach Exercise (below) with her. (Doing this exercise will help you to meet and join with your own Inner Coach to create your own Weight Mastery team.)
When we finished the exercise, Leanne was smiling with tears streaming down her face. “Wow, I don’t think I have spoken respectfully to myself like that in years!” she said. “I use this tender voice with my kids all the time but feeling myself as having belief in myself and inspiring myself is unbelievable. It’s as if I am giving myself permission to be my own best friend for the first time in my life.”
“I spent my life bullying myself around my weight. It never worked! The meaner I got, the more I ate. What a difference it is to work with my Inner Coach! Not only can my Inner Coach and I come up with great plans for keeping me on track so I am releasing weight steadily, I don’t allow myself to get caught up in that “start over tomorrow” game that led to bingeing and then beating myself up even more. I now have confidence that whatever happens my Inner Coach and I can figure things out together.” Leanne T. (Released 6 pounds in 30 days, 42 pounds overall. Her original goal was to release 50 pounds, but she liked the way she looked when she got to 42! She’s been maintaining for 3 years.)
Meet Your Inner Coach Exercise
I would like to begin by introducing you to your Inner Coach. You will get to know your coach well on your journey to weight mastery. Grab your pen and journal. This involves some writing.
Directions: Close your eyes, take a Shift Breath, and bring to mind the vision of yourself at your long-term ideal weight. In your mind’s eye, see an image of what you look like, where you are, and what you are doing. This is the image you want to cultivate as the visual representation of your own personal Inner Coach.
What does your Inner Coach look like? Describe in detail how they look, using the idea that they may look a lot like you will at your long-term loving and reasonable ideal weight.
***
What kind of voice does your Inner Coach have? (Gentle? Loving but firm?) If you can’t imagine your coach-like voice, think of a friend or mentor and use that voice internally as you develop your own. The best voice is probably the one you use with loved ones when you are encouraging them.
***
Evoke your Inner Coach. Take another Shift breath and close your eyes again. Imagine stepping into the body of you at your ideal weight, seeing through your eyes, hearing what you hear, feeling what you feel, and thinking the thoughts they have. Spend a moment acknowledging yourself at your confident, long-term loving and reasonable ideal weight. It’s still you, but this version of you is stronger, wiser, and more skilled at weight mastery than you are at the moment. You are evoking right now the emotional essence of your Inner Coach.
***
Inner Coach Directions: Ask your Inner Coach the questions that follow and respond to them as your Inner Coach.
Inner coach, what is the purpose of supporting (your name) in releasing weight? (It’s most helpful for you both to want the same thing from this Weight Mastery Process. It may be health, energy, or feeling better.)
***
What is a higher goal that you want to achieve for (your name) other than health and weight release or whatever your original purpose (stated above) was? (Beneath your initial goal of releasing weight often lurks another goal that is more internal than external, such as confidence, self-esteem, or respect.)
***
What is an even a higher goal than the one you just wrote? (Really dig for this. Why lose weight? Why look great in clothes? Why get healthy? There are deeper core needs that your weight goals stem from. What is your core need? Is it security? Peace? Happiness?)
***
Without thinking about it, write whatever first comes to mind in answer to this question. What words of encouragement can you, as your Inner Coach, give to your apprentice as you begin this process? (For example, I believe in you or we can do this.)
***
Can you see that beneath your desire to release weight is the desire to be at peace and to love and respect yourself? How you communicate in the self-care area of your life is your experience of life. Can you see how changing the way you communicate with yourself on a daily basis supports your weight release and, more importantly, instills confidence, trust, and fortitude to release long-term? This is the mastery part of weight mastery, and it is the game changer!
Connect With Your Inner Coach
I remember being lost in a sea of inner criticism when I put myself on restrictive, highly disciplined regimes to control myself only to snap and go in the opposite direction. I was disconnecting and being rebellious and out of control. I swam around in those murky waters for years until all my frustration came to a head on that scale in my Santa Monica apartment.
That was when a small voice within me emerged and said, “Enough! No more diets and regimes. You are smart, you are better than this, I believe in you. You can make your own way forward. You can find a method that works for you. I can help you do that.”
That was my first meeting with my Inner Coach. Finding that voice within me was like latching on to a life preserver in a sea of chaos. I held on and began paddling for my shore of weight mastery.
The voice within me literally saved my life. Without that inner resource, so unlike my Inner Critic or Inner Rebel, I would not have the amazing and fulfilling life I have today—free of the weight struggle and full of health, vibrancy, and purpose.
As my relationship with my Inner Coach developed, I realized that there were many roles that my Inner Coach was playing in my weight release and maintenance. Just like an athlete’s coach performs many functions for them, my Inner Coach developed many skills to guide me. I learned to be both the coach and the learner. Now you can begin to do the same. Be patient with developing this aspect of yourself and your relationship to it…it will become stronger with time.
Connecting To Your Coach With The Shift Breath
During the next section, the Nine Skills of Weight Mastery (Nine Skills), you, and you Inner Coach will learn strategies to release weight and keep it off. I invite you to begin practicing connecting with your Inner Coach by using your Shift Breath. Remember, your Shift Breath cuts through all the fat thinking chatter and makes an open space in your mind for your Inner Coach and thin thinking.
Pause a moment.
Take a Shift Breath.
Say, ”Hello, Inner Coach.”
Allow your Inner Coach to answer, “Hello I am here.” (Remember if you don’t have a voice for your coach, think of someone nurturing from your life or even the movies or television, and use his or her voice.)
Allow your Inner Coach to say, “I am here to guide you. I believe in you and our journey to Weight Mastery.”
Take another Shift Breath. Feel connected to your Inner Coach.
The S.H.I.F.T. from Fat to Thin Thinking Technique
I now want to quickly walk you through an important technique that you and your Inner Coach will use to break the habit of “starting over.” It is called the S.H.I.F.T from Fat to Thin Thinking Technique.
During the Orientation, I walked you through both the Weight Struggle Cycle and the Weight Mastery Journey. The key to long-term weight mastery is consistentl
y moving forward. You have learned though, when you are stuck in the Weight Struggle Cycle, you are often in the habit of getting off course and then disconnecting from yourself with the “I blew it, so screw it!” start-over-tomorrow mentality.
You know that moment I am talking about—you eat a brownie your friend offered you at a party, and in the next moment or even while eating the brownie, you begin to feel bad. You don’t like feeling bad, and the urge to erase the bad feeling instantly with the “I’ll start over tomorrow” fat thinking impulse comes up. The reason the “I blew it, so screw it” choice is so attractive at that moment is that it takes you from feeling bad to instantly feeling relieved. The problem is, often the decision to “start over” is followed by “…and since I’m starting over tomorrow, I may as well live it up tonight…” and you grab three more brownies and go and park yourself by the bowl of chips. You end up feeling like a failure the next day when the party is over. This “I blew it, so screw it” impulse is such a powerful force in the Weight Struggle Cycle.
The S.H.I.F.T from Fat to Thin Thinking Technique intercepts the impulse to “start over” and gives us a moment to pause for a quick time-out huddle with our Inner Coach, a moment to refocus, and get right back on track. When you use this technique often enough, you break the habit of starting over tomorrow and begin to live a life of consistently staying on track.
S.H.I.F.T. FROM FAT TO THINK THINKING TECHNIQUE
S—Shift Breath
Recognize the beginning of that “I blew it, so screw it!” impulse and intercept with a Shift Breath.
H—Harness your Inner Coach
Reach internally for your inner thin thinking guide.