Collard Greens and Catfishing

by Kelsey Browning

  Like clockwork, the parents in their SUVs came trundling through Summer Haven’s back pasture at exactly six o’clock. Teague had quickly learned that holding closed practices, the kind where parents couldn’t stay around to badger their kids, was the only way to run a baseball team.

  This evening, most of the parents remained in their cars while their kids shoved their bags and themselves inside. But the parent in the late model Cadillac SUV cut the engine and stepped out.

  Barnes glanced up from the bag holding the catcher’s equipment and said, “Oh, hell.”

  “You can say that again,” Teague agreed. Barnes looked as if he was about to bolt, so Teague said, “Hey, if you stick around while she’s here, I’ll make sure there’s some of Maggie’s special tea in it for you.”

  Barnes’ smile was more toothy than Teague thought even Maggie’s tea warranted. But what the hell, the guy would deserve a whole pitcher of the stuff if he kept Teague from having to deal with Angelina Broussard by himself. Because she was, of course, picking her way directly toward him on silver high heels.

  “Teague,” she called, “can we have a word?”

  “Sure,” he said, but made no move toward her. In fact, his feet were planted more firmly than Angelina’s son’s had been when he made that spectacular catch.

  Angelina’s lipsticked mouth drew tight, but she continued her trek until she stood in front of him. She flicked a dismissive look at Barnes. “I need a word with the coach.”

  “As assistant coach,” Teague said, “Barnes is in on all the parent communication. Isn’t that right, Barnes?”

  The guy’s Adam’s apple convulsed as though he’d just swallowed a rat. “If you say so.”

  Regardless, Angelina angled her body toward Teague, purposefully excluding his assistant coach. “I wanted to make sure we were clear on how my husband and I expect Booger to be coached, especially since the team is practicing here at Summer Haven.”

  Although he knew exactly what she was getting at, he asked, “What does our practice location have to do with my coaching ability?”

  Angelina laid a hand on his forearm. “Everyone knows you’re a great coach, Teague. I just don’t want that woman thinking she can come out here and interfere with your team just because she’s living on the Summer family estate.”

  He wouldn’t pretend he didn’t know who she was talking about. “Do you see Abby Ruth out here anywhere?”

  “Well, a parent can’t be too careful. And she can be more than a little pushy. I really need to talk to Lillian about Abby Ruth Cady. She clearly has no idea how that woman is impacting folks’ opinions of Summer Haven, possibly Lillian herself.”

  Good Lord, if Abby Ruth was the pushy pot, this woman was the damned kettle. And something about Angelina just got all over him today. “I don’t think it’s as bad as you make it sound. Abby Ruth Cady actually taught me how to play baseball when I was Benjamin’s age.”

  “I’m sure that was—”

  “I’m not one to brag,” he continued, “but I was named Player of the Year in high school and earned a full college ride off my sinker.”

  “Your what?”

  “It’s a type of pitch,” Barnes piped up.

  Angelina waved it off. “That’s nice and all, but a Georgia team needs to win the Little League World Series, and honestly, it’s about time for Summer Shoals to push those Warner Robins kids out of the way.”

  “Angelina, we’re Minor League so we’re not even eligible for the World Series this year.”

  “Oh…well, it’s a work in progress and I want my Booger to be on a winning team.”

  Didn’t matter if Teague was the best coach in the world. Little League in this town was for fun. It wasn’t the same caliber as the leagues that groomed their kids from birth to make it to the prestigious World Series tournament. “I appreciate your concern about the team, but Barnes and I have everything under control. His nephew James is my other assistant coach. He’s on the high school team here and bats over .500 so he’ll be the one helping the boys with their hitting from now on.”

  “That’ll be fine,” Angelina declared as if she were the queen of baseball. She motioned to her son. “Let’s go, Booger. We’re having dinner with Nana Broussard tonight.”

  The kid dragged his feet, kicking up dirt and grass. He passed by Teague and muttered, “I’d rather stay here. Nana always smells like Ben-Gay and raw shrimp.”

  Teague and Barnes waited until Angelina backed out and headed toward Summer Haven’s circle drive before they started laughing.

  “You gotta feel sorry for that kid,” Teague said.

  “Feel sorry for him? What about his daddy?”

  Teague elbowed his deputy in the ribs. “I bet Angelina has a sister somewhere who could help relieve you of your single status.”

  “Can you imagine me bringing home someone like that to my momma? She’d have a conniption fit. Besides, last time I checked, you weren’t hitched either. Maybe you could date the sister.”

  “I’ve got other fish to fry.” He’d signed up for that dating site to investigate Sue Ellen’s complaint. Still, it made him uncomfortable, and he hadn’t even taken the time to check his matches yet. Something about it felt disloyal. Like he was finally letting go of his dream to be with Jenny.

  “Oh, really?” Barnes hitched up his elastic waist shorts. “You been seeing someone on the sly? The ladies down at the diner are gonna be mad when they find out.”

  “Why?”

  “Last I heard from Momma, they were looking to set you up with Miss Gurtie’s granddaughter.”

  “Not interested.”

  “You sure?” Barnes pulled off his baseball cap and swiped at his sweaty head. “Have you seen her? Now, she looks like a real woman. None of that skinny magazine crap. She has those grab-yourself-a-handful baby-making hips.” He held his hands out in front of his chest as though he was cradling a couple of watermelons. “And some prime tatas.”

  Teague had admired a tata or two in his time, but he preferred his women on the tall, lean side. He punched Barnes in the arm. “Sounds like you should go after Miss Gurtie’s granddaughter. But first, let’s get this equipment in the truck and we’ll stop at the big house for a glass of Maggie’s tea.”

  Barnes looked over his shoulder and hollered at his nephew, “James, let’s load up.”

  A few minutes later, the three of them were standing on Summer Haven’s front porch. Teague knocked and waited.

  When the door opened, the yoga-loving Sera stood in the threshold. “Are you here for this evening’s session?”

  Oh, no way in hell. “Not tonight.” Or any other night.

  “I’m so glad the weather held,” Sera said. “When it rains, we move the party into the parlor.”

  Maggie had to love that. People tromping all over Miss Lillian’s house. Then again, Maggie probably didn’t tell Miss Lillian about everything that happened around Summer Haven these days. That was one reason Teague liked to stop in on occasion—to check on the house itself. After Sera had fallen through the ceiling during the toilet incident, Teague figured he needed to keep his eye on things. Plus, it gave him a perfect excuse to make sure these mature ladies weren’t up to the kind of trouble they’d almost gotten themselves into a few months ago.

  “I’m up for yoga.” Barnes’ nephew was openly ogling Sera, who was wearing those tight below-the-knee legging things and an unzipped hoodie with a strappy workout tank top underneath.

  Teague crowded the kid to the side, and said from the corner of his mouth, “She’s old enough to be your grandmother.”

  “Seriously?” James looked her over again. “That’s just wrong.”

  “Sera,” Teague said, “we actually stopped by to see if Maggie had a little of her special iced tea available for Barnes and me. James here’ll have to stick with lemonade. But we’re mighty thirsty after baseball practice.”

  “I think she’s been keeping Abby Ruth busy sorting memorabilia in the attic. Anyt
hing to keep her occupied while you were practicing.”

  “Appreciate that, especially since Angelina stopped by after practice to gripe about her.”

  “Anything that will help Summer Haven pass the committee’s inspection,” Sera said. “Once that’s over, Maggie and I will both be tempted to let Abby Ruth loose on the woman.”

  “Don’t forget the inspection is a yearly thing,” he reminded her.

  “There is that.” Sera shook her head, then called over her shoulder. “Maggie, you have a gentleman caller.”

  Footsteps clattered inside, then Maggie was jerking the door from Sera’s hold. Maggie’s color was up and her breathing was shallower than made Teague comfortable. When Maggie caught sight of Teague, Barnes and James, her happy face deflated like a pricked balloon. Disappointment. Not normally the reaction Teague received from women of any age. “Oh,” she said, stretching her mouth into a smile that didn’t even make it to her cheeks. “It’s so nice to have company.”

  “They’re after some of your tea,” Sera said.

  “Give me two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” Maggie said, “and I’ll bring some out to you.”

  Although Maggie seemed genuinely more cheerful than she had when she first spotted them, it was obvious something was going on here. So Teague said, “Why don’t you come out and sit with us a spell?” He made a show of looking over her shoulder into the house. “Maybe Miss Lillian could join us, too, if she’s around.”

  How in the world these women thought they were fooling him about Lillian’s whereabouts, Teague had no idea.

  “Oh, no, she’s…well…she’s in the city this week doing some…shopping. Christmas shopping.”

  “It’s only October.”

  “She doesn’t like the last-minute rush.”

  Each time Teague stopped at Summer Haven, Maggie came up with some new story about Lil being out or traveling for some reason or another. If he hadn’t talked with Lillian about using her pasture for baseball practice before she went to prison camp, there was no way Maggie would’ve let him spend that much time at Summer Haven. Seeing as Lillian had made the promise, though, Maggie didn’t fight it.

  After Maggie scurried back into the house, Sera stepped outside and Teague led his crew to the porch’s line of rocking chairs. Sera asked James, “Sure you wouldn’t like to try the yoga?”

  He shot a look at Teague. Teague just lifted a shoulder. He knew what it was like to question this woman’s intentions. But over the past few months, Teague had come to realize what he’d once thought were cougar come-ons were just the way Sera displayed her open and honest personality.

  In a volume no one else could hear, Teague said to James, “You’re safe.”

  “By the way,” Sera said, “did I happen to mention several of the high school cheerleaders attend my weekly class?”

  James was off the porch and headed toward the white gazebo in one bounding leap.

  Sera chuckled. “Men are so easily motivated.” She followed James at a much slower, hip-swinging gait.

  Rocking slowly in his chair, Barnes lowered his voice and said to Teague, “Got to give it to her. That gal is in shape, but she’s not really my type.”

  “Mine either.” Thank goodness Sera had quit talking about his sacral chakra. That stuff made him nervous, but he was learning to take her with a grain of salt, or sugar, as it seemed.

  Teague rocked back in his chair, scanning the large group gathered for Sera’s class. There had to be thirty people out there, including Billy Parr, who was so busy ogling Sera’s behind that he toppled from one of those one-footed, stork-like poses.

  Barnes cleared his throat. “So what do you think about older women?”

  Jenny Cady was two months older than Teague, a fact she’d teased him about until he’d finally gotten his driver’s license. “I feel favorably about them.”

  “What if there was a significant age difference between you and the woman?”

  “Like over ten years, you mean?”

  “Give or take.”

  The front door opened and they both turned their attention toward Maggie, who was balancing a huge pitcher and multiple glasses on a tray. Barnes jumped up from his rocking chair and rushed forward. “Let me help you with that.”

  With a smile, Maggie carefully passed him the tray. “It’s so nice to have such polite young men around Summer Haven these days.”

  Barnes smiled broadly and set the tray on the table. Maggie filled the glasses and passed them around.

  “So,” Teague asked her, “what’s with the straw wall out in the yard?”

  She waved a casual hand. “Just getting a head start on the Halloween decorations.”

  “As a kid, I never forgot Aunt Bibi’s birthday because it was so close to Halloween. She used to tease that all those witch decorations were in her honor.”

  “Is that supposed to be a haunted house or a castle?” Barnes asked, gesturing toward the mound of hay.

  Maggie bit her lip and stared at the crumbling structure. “Oh, you know Sera. She has to be artistic in her own way.”

  Teague leaned forward in his chair, trying to get a better look. “It has to be her version of a castle because it looks like it has a moat around it.”

  Maggie jumped out her chair and refilled all the glasses to the brim. “Did I mention we’re having a birthday party for Abby Ruth Friday night?”

  “This is the first I’ve heard of it,” Teague said.

  “Sorry about that. We wanted to keep it low key until we had the plans wrapped up. But it looks like it’s a go. And Abby Ruth’s daughter is even thinking about flying down for the party.”

  The excitement that bolted through Teague was so strong he barely registered the slight acid reflux expression Maggie wore. “Jenny’s coming to Summer Shoals?”

  “Well,” Maggie drew out the word, “it’s not a done deal yet. Of course, we want you to come to the party, and Deputy Barnes too.”

  “You can definitely count me in.” Teague grinned and sat back to enjoy the best-tasting tea he’d put in his mouth in years. Forget all that ThePerfectFit.com crap. His perfect fit would be here this weekend.

  * * *

  After Sera finished up her yoga class, Teague and Deputy Barnes collected a starry-eyed James and headed out. Which meant it was time for Maggie to admit to the other girls that she’d committed them to a party she had no idea if they could pull off, especially the part about Jenny’s visit. Why had she blurted that out? Stupid, but it sure had put a happy expression on Teague’s face.

  Maggie cleaned up the glasses and pitcher, then called out, “Girls, we need to chat. C’mon in here to the kitchen for a minute, would ya?”

  Sera wandered in a minute later, still with the glowing sheen of yoga perspiration on her shoulders. Abby Ruth wasn’t far behind. “Thank the sweet baby Jesus,” she said. “I’d had about all of digging through Summer family heirlooms as I could stand. Do you know somebody in this place collected chocolate bar wrappers? Hershey’s, Hershey’s with almonds, Mr. Goodbar, Nestle Crunch. You name the kind, there’s a wrapper up there for it.”

  “That has Harlan Fairview’s name written all over it. Guy was a hoarder in the biggest way.” Maggie braced her hands on a ladderback chair. “But candy bar wrappers are the least of our concern right now. I kinda promised Teague something, and Abby Ruth, I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”

  “As long as you didn’t promise him I’d cook and clean for him, I figure it’s fine.”

  “I told him we were throwing you a birthday party.”

  Abby Ruth thrust out her chest as if she might crow. “Well, hell, I’m all for that.”

  “But that’s only one part of it. I may also have…hinted…that Jenny and Grayson were flying down for the festivities.”

  “Why would you do that?” Sera asked.

  “Because he and Deputy Barnes were admiring your fall decorating handiwork out there by the septic system.”

  “So?” Sera
angled her head to one side. “What does it matter if Teague knows we’re having a few potty problems?”

  “I wasn’t so worried about Teague, but Deputy Barnes’ momma is one of the biggest gossips in town. If he told her, and she told someone…well it would end up back to Angelina, and I just couldn’t risk it.”

  “I do love parties thrown in my honor,” Abby Ruth said. “But that’s barely two days away. If Jenny hasn’t visited Summer Shoals in the months I’ve been here, I can’t see her hopping on a plane with this short notice. Couldn’t you think of something better?”

  “Well, I’d like to see what you would’ve done if you were under that kind of pressure,” Maggie said. “I had to come up with something quick. Teague mentioned your birthday, and I just ran with it.”

  “I can call her,” Abby Ruth said. “But it’s no secret that girl doesn’t always listen to her momma.”

  Sera glanced up from where she was engrossed with the computer. “I’d be happy to call her, if you think that would help.”

  “Sure can’t hurt to take a different approach.” Abby Ruth craned her neck to look at Sera. “What are you doing over there?”

  “Checking all our profiles.” Click, click, click. “Oh my gosh!”

  Maggie and Abby Ruth rushed to the desk to peer over Sera’s shoulder. “Another favorite?”

  “No. Maggie has a private message. DanOfMyDreams has asked her out on a date. A real live face-to-face date. And it’s tomorrow.”

  Maggie’s skin began tingling—excitement? Or maybe eczema brought on by nerves? She flicked a finger toward the computer screen. “Well, you just send him one back saying no, thank you.”

  Sera twisted around and goggled at her. “Why in the world would you say no?”

  “Because we’re looking for some man named Tom, not Dan.”

  “But what if they know one another?”

  “How many men do you think are registered on that site—hundreds? Maybe thousands?” Maggie said. “What’s the likelihood of Tom and Dan being friends?”