Dual Desires (Triple Threat Book 3)

by Bella Jeanisse

  I looked around and imagined someone like my ex, Noah, standing in front of my hospital door. It was a funny image.

  Jon looked down at me, then at my mother. “Well, there was an incident. A few fans came to see her while she was still out. They were a bit overzealous.”

  My whole body tensed, painfully as I imagined someone had attacked me in my sleep. “Did they touch me?”

  Chad’s hand cupped my cheek. “No, baby. Nothing happened.”

  “Yeah. Chad stopped them, but he needs sleep too.” Jon smiled. “Matt and Rick even check the nurses’ IDs. No one’ll bother her again.” He exhaled loudly then quietly added, “We need to talk, man.” He nodded at Chad, and they walked away from me.

  “You look better.” Dominic gently touched my face and smiled. “Chad’s been amazing. I never seen him like this. The nurses were raving about him last night. When you were unconscious, he talked to you and did everything for you. He’s a bit overprotective, though. One nurse said he wouldn’t let her open your gown.”

  Tears fell down Tommy's cheeks as he came close to me. “Babe, you OK?” he whispered in my ear as he softly kissed my cheek.

  I looked at him, unsure how I should feel about him. Thoughts of him, Chad and I together at his place came to mind right away. I closed my eyes. It was easy to remember how it felt. Then I saw an image of Tommy and Giovanni on either side of me in our bed. That was the day two of Giovanni’s fantasies came true. Suddenly, I started to cry. I missed him more than ever.

  Tommy quickly hugged me. I groaned as he touched my back and shoulder. “Oh God. How bad’re you hurt?” He let me go, slowly.

  Chad was soon next to him. “It’s bad, but she’ll heal. Tom, just hold her hand.”

  Tommy sniffled and looked at my mom who seemed confused. “I’m so sorry.” He picked up my hand and kissed it. “It’s my fault.”

  “Tom, stop,” Dominic almost shouted at him. “Not now, man. She has enough to deal with.”

  Tommy looked at me. Then his tears fell faster. “I just can’t…” Then he laid his head on my breasts. “I’m sorry, babe. I really am.”

  I ran my fingers through his hair that was down for a change. His sadness helped me forget my own pain for a little while. Then I heard a familiar ring tone. It was Giovanni’s phone. I automatically searched the room for him. He wasn’t there. I grabbed Tommy’s shirt and held on because I wanted the noise to stop.

  Chad slowly pulled Giovanni’s phone from his pocket. He looked up at me. “I’m sorry. They gave it to me.” Then he looked at it and let out a long breath. “Hey, man. This is Chad.” He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth for a few seconds. “Um, haven’t you watched TV or listened to the radio today?” He walked to the window and put his other hand near his mouth. It did nothing to muffle his voice. “You didn’t hear about the accident? He’s gone, Craig.” The strain in his voice told me he held back tears. “She’s in the hospital. No they weren’t on the bike.” He walked further away. “You heard what?”

  “Let me talk to him.” Jon grabbed the phone from Chad quickly. “Hey, it’s Jon Harris. Chad doesn’t need this right now. Let me tell you what went down.” Then he left the room for a few minutes.

  Dominic went over to Chad. “Look. We all know how much this is affecting you. You don’t need to hide it. Maybe you need a break. You got way too much on your shoulders right now. Go take a walk or something. I’ll be right here.”

  “You don’t understand.” Chad sniffled. “I have to protect her. And she can’t do anything for herself. I have to do it.”

  Dominic hugged him. “You need to deal with it all too.”

  “I don’t have time.” Chad pushed him away and came to me. “Baby, you OK?”

  Tears still fell, but I tried to be strong for him. Tommy let me go and turned around. When I met Chad’s eyes, I saw guilt. But why? What’s wrong, Chad? I was too shaken up to ask.

  “Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t turn it off.” Chad gently lifted me and held me close. “I just had so much on my mind, and I’m worried about you.”

  Jon suddenly put a hand on Chad’s shoulder. “I gotta talk to you about what Craig said.”

  “He said he heard Dean was in an accident.” Chad pressed his cheek to mine which let me feel his tears. “He just got the wrong information.”

  “He does have it mixed up, but Chad, I need to explain something, before you hear it from someone else.”

  “What?” Chad didn’t let me go.

  Jon looked at me for a second. “Not here.”

  “Look. I ain’t leaving the room. She needs me.”

  Jon sighed. “Then just come by the window.”

  After Chad carefully laid me down, Tommy hugged me, as he leaned over me.

  “The guy who hit them…” I watched a tear rolled down Jon’s cheek. “It was Dean. He was high as a kite. New Year’s musta fucked him up good.”

  “What?” Chad shouted. “Where the fuck is he? I’ll kill him.” He started for the door.

  Jon grabbed his arm. “Chad, you can’t. He’s dead too.”

  Dean killed my Giovanni? Then guilt washed over me. It was because I offered to check on him. We wouldn’t have been anywhere near his house if it wasn’t for me. Then an image of Dean’s truck came to me. I had seen a red blur… that was… Oh God! I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and breathing became difficult.

  Tommy picked up his head. “Crystal?” He touched my cheek. “Chad, she don’t look so good.”

  “Baby, you OK?” Chad asked. “What’s wrong? Baby, you’re so pale, should I get a nurse?”

  I looked up at him. “It’s my fault.”

  “No it’s not,” he assured me then held me when Tommy moved away. “Please don’t blame yourself.”

  Then Dominic said, “Don’t you say it again, Tom.”

  My room door opened again. Then a doctor and nurse came in the room. “I see you have lots of fans.” He tried to lighten the mood. “I have to check Crystal’s wounds.”

  Fear instantly gripped me. “No. Chad. Please.” I didn’t want to be touched.

  “Shh.” Chad smoothed my hair. He knew what I meant. “I’ll be right here, baby.”

  “We’ll be back tomorrow. OK, Crystal?” Dominic’s voice echoed in the room. “Chad, take good care of her and let me know if I can help with anything.”

  When the guys were gone, Chad got off the bed as the curtain was drawn around us. He kissed my forehead and held my good hand as the doctor opened my arm splint. Otherwise, I would freak out. I gripped him so tightly my knuckles were white.

  Chad touched my cheek. “Baby, it’s OK. I won’t let him touch you like that.”

  “It looks good,” the doctor said.

  He pulled the sheet off my foot. A weird cast was on my right leg. My toes stuck out. It was more like a boot with straps. I flinched when he tested my toes for sensation.

  “Good. Does your foot itch?”

  I shook my head.

  When the sheet came down, I cried and whimpered, terrified. “Don’t let him...”

  “Dr. Hatchet, give her minute.” Chad lifted my chin, and I looked at him. “I’ll never let another doctor do that to you. I swear. Just relax. Please. He needs to look at all your injuries, baby. I won’t let go. OK?”

  I nodded as tears still fell.

  My mom leaned on Chad’s arm. “Honey, it was one bad doctor. You can’t take it out on all of them.”

  Chad turned to her. “Ma, I know how to help her. It’s not her fault she’s still scared. I’ll talk to you later about it. Just let me take care of this.”

  I shut my eyes again and relaxed. However, when my gown was opened, I squeezed Chad’s hand hard. Then I jumped when a hand touched my thigh. My nails dug into Chad’s hand when my leg was moved. I had to imagine we were at the beach to calm down, or I’d fall apart. I ignored the exam as much as I could while I held him with a death grip and continued to cry.

  The pain of my wounds being touched brough
t back parts of the accident. I felt my body being tossed around. I remembered that I cried while I held Giovanni. Tears fell as I realized he had been dying in my arms. Oh God! He died in my arms! That’s why he stopped moving.

  A nurse interrupted my thoughts. She changed bandages on my forehead and shoulder. Then I cried out in pain several times, as Chad helped them roll me to my good side. Someone touched my back and pulled more bandages off. The moment I landed on Giovanni’s door came back to me, and I cried out. I didn’t want to remember anymore.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry.” Chad had tears on his cheeks as he closed up my gown. “It’s almost over.”

  After they gently laid me back down, the doctor moved my hair and prodded my scalp. “Everything looks fine. No popped stitches, no bleeding.” He smiled. “You had a very long day. I need you to get some rest. They’ll be a nurse in soon with some medication.” He patted my hand. “And I’m sorry again for your loss.”

  “Thank you.” When the door closed, I asked, “What stitches?”

  Chad took my hand. “Your head musta hit the window. You have a bunch of stitches above your eye, your back, your shoulder and staples on side of your head.”

  “What do I look like?” I demanded. “Is it that bad? Glass musta hit my face. Do I have scars everywhere?”

  “Baby, you’re just as beautiful as before,” Chad assured me.

  “I wanna see. Prove it.”

  “Crystal, there’s no way to do that.” Chad bit his lower lip.

  Through all my grief, I never thought about what I would look like because of the accident that claimed my fiancé. “Bring me to the bathroom. There’s gotta be a mirror in there.”

  “Don’t ask me to do that, baby.”

  “Show me now!” I shouted. “If you don’t, I’ll get up myself.”

  “I can’t unplug your IV.”

  “So get the nurse to do it!” I pressed the call button as I glared at him.

  An unfamiliar face soon came into view. “You guys need something?”

  “Unhook this fucking thing!”

  Chad caressed my cheek. “Baby, don’t. Please.”

  I pulled away then groaned. “If you don’t, I’m gonna rip it out!” I lifted my left arm.

  “Relax, Crystal,” the nurse calmly said and unplugged the IV machine. “Do you need to use the toilet?”

  Chad sighed. “She’s threatening to get up if I don’t let her look in a mirror.”

  “Just wait a few days, dear.”

  I scowled at Chad. “Now!”

  Chad reluctantly lifted me up. When I looked up at the mirror, I thought it was a joke. That can’t be me. My face had swollen from cuts on both sides. Tears fell as I pulled off the bandage on my forehead. That revealed a long line of stitches.

  I opened my hospital gown on the top right side and looked at my shoulder. There was a bandage there as well. Under it, I found another long line of stitches and dark bruises. Over my right ear, the hair was matted down and bloody. I could see something which I assumed were the staples.

  “I’m so ugly.”

  I leaned on Chad and cried. How is it possible in one day everything changed so much? Then I realized my looks were what got us noticed. Did I ruin the band? Wait. What band?

  Chad kissed my temple. “Baby, it’s just cuts and bruises. I’ll get you plastic surgery if you want. I’ll do anything for you. Please don’t cry. I love you no matter what.”

  He carried me back to bed and lay down with me again. Then while my mom left the room, he held me closely and kissed my face repeatedly. She seemed to know I need him and not her. His tears fell on my cheeks as he cried with me. I was being vain. That made it so much worse. However, it was a shock to look so horrible.

  After a while, my mom came back and touched Chad’s back. “Honey, you need to give your body time to heal before you worry about what you look like. The swelling will go down, and the bruises will fade. You’ll see. You’ll look very different soon.”

  Chapter 15

  The next morning, Chad had me in his arms, dressed in hospital scrubs. I had fallen asleep crying after some kind of medicine was put into my IV. I was glad he didn’t leave me to go home. I need him to get through… Well, the rest of my life.

  He looked so handsome as he slept on the pillow next to me. I put my good hand through his hair and got a sigh. Then I smiled. The many times I had woken up in his arms flashed by. So many happy memories floated through my mind. Ones I thought had been left in the past, but there we were, together again.

  “You really care about him. Don’t you?” my mom asked. It startled me.

  I looked up. She was beyond Chad in a chair, in the same clothes as the day before. “Yeah, Mom.”

  “I always thought you two would wind up together.”

  “I know, Mom.”

  “You just seem right for each other.” She stood up and stroked Chad’s hair also. “When he called about the accident, he was hysterical. He could barely tell me what happened. And last night, he stayed up for hours, just watching over you. He’s still in love with you. Isn’t he?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  I blinked away the tears that started. I was torn again. Why am I confused? I lost the love of my life. I should just be grieving. Right? Why do I feel that connection between Chad and I again? It overwhelmed me though. I turned to Chad and kissed his lips. Then I caressed his cheek. He meant the world to me for so long. That never changed. His arms felt right, more so than ever before.

  Soon his eyes fluttered open. I still had a hand on his face. “Good morning, baby. I missed waking up to you.” He kissed my lips softly several times. “I love you.” Then he sighed. “Did you have any breakfast yet?”

  “I’m not hungry.” Food was the last thing on my mind.

  Chad stiffened then took a deep breath and relaxed again. “You said that yesterday. You gotta eat.”

  “Hey,” a deep voice came from the doorway.

  Rosario walked in, dressed in fatigues with Phil behind him. Chad jumped off the bed and fell to the floor. If Rosario had not had the look of utter grief on his face, I would have laughed a little. Instead, I started to cry.

  When he came closer, his expression changed. I knew he reacted to my looks. “Crystal, I’m so sorry.” He put his hat down and took me in his arms tightly.

  “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Pain came from every direction.

  He carefully let me go. “What’d I do?”

  “She’s banged up pretty bad,” Chad explained.

  Rosario stared at me as tears fell. He looked so much like my Giovanni. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He came close, picked up my left hand and closed his eyes. “And neither did my brother. He loved you more than anything. You were his first love. He’d do anything for you.” Then he put his head down on my good shoulder. “I miss him so much.”

  “I miss him too.” I turned and kissed his forehead. When he lifted his head, I said, “Help me sit up.” He grabbed my arm and gently pulled me up. It hurt to do that, but I didn’t care. I pulled him to me. He hugged me carefully. “Why did God save me and not him?”

  He whispered, “I don’t know, but there’s a reason.”

  Rosario held me for a long while. When he let me go, he hugged my mom, then Chad. He held onto Chad tightly. Both of them cried. My heart went out to him. It had to be awful lose a sibling.

  “Tell me this ain’t happening, man. Please.”

  Chad rubbed his back. “I saw it happen, and I still don’t believe it. I’m so sorry. I loved him like a brother.”

  My mom got up and put a hand on both of their backs. They looked at her and pulled her into their embrace. I cried as I watched them grieve together. Then I was startled when a hand touched mine.

  “It’s gonna be OK,” Phil whispered and carefully held me close. When I relaxed, he softly moaned in my ear. “No bra. Mmmm your tits feel so—o good.”

  I quickly slapped him. “You dick!”

  “Sorry. I hate to se
e you cry.”

  “Behave or no more hugs.”

  “I will.” He leaned down and put an arm around my neck. “And I really am here for you. Really.”

  I just nodded and gripped the back of his shirt.

  “You in pain?”

  I took a deep breath and lied, “No. I’ll be fine.”

  “Chad told me it’s much worse than it looks.” There was a hitch in Phil’s voice. “Is he exaggerating?”

  I winced as he touched my right side. “No.” A whimper escaped.

  “I’m hurting you?”

  “Yeah.” I bit my lip, but I didn't want him to let me go.

  Phil slowly pulled back a bit then lifted the sheet and gown. He exposed my right side slightly. “Holy shit! Oh fuck. This is my fault.” Then he covered me up and held me gently. “I’m sorry.”

  I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through his hair. He obviously hid his pain. “We’re all confused.” He shook, but I didn’t understand why. “You OK?”

  “I’m fine.” He took in a ragged breath. “Did they say when you can come home?”

  “I think a week ’cause of my arm.” I closed my eyes and grabbed his arm hard. Dizziness came over me.

  Phil caressed my cheek. “What’s wrong?”

  “My head’s spinning.”

  He turned his head. “Chad, she’s dizzy. What d’ I do?”

  “The doc said that would happen,” Chad replied. “Just make her lay down.”

  Phil took my left hand in his and cradled my head in the other. Slowly, he set me on the pillow. I opened my eyes. Tears were on his cheeks.

  Then he whispered, “Everything hurts. Doesn’t it?”

  I didn’t want to make him feel worse. “Not everything.” It wasn’t a total lie. My left foot seemed OK. The rest of my body was achy and sore though. “I’m fine.”

  “But you’re not.” He sniffled. “It shoulda been me.”

  I was shocked. “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s true. You were in my seat. If I was there, you’d be OK. My body woulda protected you.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Phil.” Rosario put a hand on his shoulder. “We can’t change it. Let it go.”