Dual Desires (Triple Threat Book 3)

by Bella Jeanisse

  Chad stared at the floor when I turned to him. I had no idea it had been in the news. Then again, what did I expect? A famous rock star hit us. I took a deep breath and tapped his hand. He clutched mine and kissed my fingers.

  “Right here,” he assured me.

  Dr. Walker tilted my head and gently pressed into the right side of my head. “No swelling. Looks like it healed well.” She turned away from me. “Close your eyes and take a deep breath.”

  I did as I was told. Chad held my left hand in both of his. Then I felt a pulling sensation, and I cringed. It wasn’t painful but weird. When she had taken all the staples out, I sighed.

  “Not bad.” Dr. Walker moved my hair a bit then adjusted it again. “The rest of the stitches were taken out, right?”

  I replied, “Yes.”

  “Good. That’s what Dr. Leo sent over from the hospital.”

  I looked up. “That’s it?”

  “No, dear.” Dr. Walker smiled. “I know you don’t like exams. I’ll make it as quick as I can.” She painstakingly went over every injured area. When she nudged one of the cuts to my back, I flinched. “These shouldn’t be so tender.” Dr. Walker looked at me. “Are you eating right and taking vitamins?”

  Chad let out a short laugh. “No. She has been eating better though.”

  “Prenatal vitamins?”

  “Yes.” Chad nodded. “That I make her take.” He leaned his head on my arm. “What did the test say?”

  She looked at me then Chad. “It was negative. That’s why I wanted a blood test. Just in case.” She watched our faces. Maybe she saw my disappointment? “With your condition, it’s possible the hormones will take time to be at level for a urine test to read it.”

  “OK.” I wasn’t sure how to feel.

  Just after the exam was done, there was another knock on the door. Someone brought in paperwork. The doctor read it over and sat down on a stool. “The blood test was negative as well.” She smiled and put the papers on a counter. “I didn’t want to say anything until we had those results.” She paused and waited for our attention. “Not to be crass, but a pregnancy right now could hinder your healing. Between what the baby will draw from your body and the added pressure on your ankle, it’s possible a pregnancy could cause permanent damage.”

  “I might never walk?” Panic rose.

  Chad stood and held me close. “Only if you get pregnant.” He exhaled loudly. “But you’re not. Relax.”

  I couldn’t help the tears that came. Although it was a mixed blessing, I hoped I had a part of Giovanni still.

  “Anything else?” Chad asked.

  Dr. Walker moved closer and put a hand on my arm. “She needs to eat better. Protein and dairy are important. Vegetables, and extra calcium too.”

  “I’ll take care of it,’ Chad assured her. “You ready to get dressed?”

  I nodded. “I wanna go home.”

  “We will.”

  * * *

  Once back home, Chad carried me to the bedroom. I was still emotional and drained physically. When he set me on the bed, I whispered. “Can you hold me like Giovanni used to? Please?”

  Chad kissed my lips and complied. He carefully pulled me over him. I lay my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. For some reason, I didn’t miss Giovanni the way I expected to. I didn’t think of him at all. I just enjoyed Chad’s hand as it slowly moved up and down my back. It soothed me after the bombshell the doctor had dropped.

  “I love you, Chad.” I closed my eyes and concentrated on my body’s movement as he breathed. “Your heart’s beating so fast. What’s the matter?”

  He moved his hand to my hair and put his fingers through it. “I thought you wanted me to hold you this way because you missed him.”

  I picked up my head. “No. That’s not why. I can feel how alive you are like this. I’m afraid I’m gonna lose you too. In this position I can hear your heart beat and feel you’re still breathing.”

  He put his other hand on my back and held me tight. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. So try not to worry. I love you so much.” He kissed my forehead. “I think you need to sleep for a while. It always makes you feel better.”

  “Can you stay here with me?” I hoped he could.

  He squeezed me a bit. “Sorry, baby, I can’t. I can only be here until you fall asleep. I have to keep my job, at least until we start playing again. I’m the only one working of the three of us, and we need the income. If you’re still sleeping when I’m done I’ll come back. I promise.”

  “OK.” I understood. “Can I ask you something?”

  He smiled. “Of course you can.”

  “Would it upset you if I got another tattoo? One in memory of Giovanni? Not a big one. Just something small and meaningful. I don’t even know what it’d be yet. I just feel I should do something. We were gonna get married. I feel guilty I don’t miss him as much now. You know?”

  Chad rubbed my back. “I guess it depends on what it is if it’ll bother me. Well and where you wanna put it. You already got one with his name on it. I don’t like it, but you got it before you were with me. So I have deal with it.”

  “You hated it as soon as you saw it,” I reminded him. “I never seen you so jealous before. Do you want me to get it removed?”

  “Baby, I’d never ask you to do that. If you guys had only broken up, I’d think about it, but you lost him. That’s cruel.” He pulled my head back down. “Close your eyes and sleep.”

  * * *

  I jolted awake and was shocked to be alone. “Chad?” When he didn’t come, I shouted louder, “Chad?”

  The door opened slowly. “He’s on the phone.” Paulie appeared in the doorway. “You need help getting out of bed?”

  “Kinda.” I smiled at him and scooted to the edge of the bed. “I need to pee, and it’s hard to get up when it’s this bad.”

  Paulie lifted me up. “No problem.” He walked with me into the master bathroom. When he put me on my feet, he grabbed my pants and started to pull them down.

  “No.” I stopped his progress. “I can do it. Can you wait inside?”

  He shook his head. “Still as stubborn as ever.” He walked out and closed the door.

  After I washed up, I peeked out. He sat on the bed. “I’m done.”

  He jumped up and hurried to me. “Chris is making dinner.” He tilted his head. “Well, sorta. Phil’s cooking, Chad’s directing and Chris’ watching.”

  I laughed. “At least it’s a team effort.” We were lucky to have so many to help us. He lifted me up, and I squealed, surprised. “I can walk. Just need my crutch.”

  “Will you stop?” He carried me to the living room. “She’s awake.”

  Chad looked up from his laptop. “Hey. You sleep good?”

  “Yeah.” I grinned and struggled to get down. “Come on. Let me walk.”

  Paulie set me on my feet and put an arm around me. “Hold on so you don’t fall.” He guided me to Chad. “The doctor say everything was OK?”

  “Basically,” Chad replied. “They said she needs to eat better though.”

  Phil turned and pointed a wooden spoon at me. “Then you will.” He frowned. “No more of this bullshit, missy.” He couldn’t keep a straight face. “Dinner’s gonna be done soon, and you’re gonna eat it.” As he bit his bottom lip, he chuckled. “Guess I can’t do Chad. How d’ you act like her dad sometimes?”

  “I don’t act like her dad.” Chad stood and stalked toward Phil.

  “Oh shit!” Phil jumped over a chair and hid behind me. “Your man’s gonna hurt me. Save me.” He slid his arms around me and cupped my breasts. Then he whispered, “We should forget about dinner.” He pressed his slightly engorged cock against my ass. “Give you some more of my dick.”

  Paulie stared, obviously confused. “Uh… You guys joke around weird.” He glared at Phil. “Stop squeezing her tits.”

  “Damn.” Phil let me go. “Now I gotta deal with the both of you again? Can’t a guy get a little action ar
ound here?” He ducked when Paulie swung at him. “I’m fuckin’ kiddin’. Calm down. I’d never take advantage of her emotional state. You know me better than that. I’m just trying to make her laugh.”

  I stepped toward Paulie. “Things’ve changed. Please relax. It’s hard to explain.” He put his fists down. “You do realize we’re all still grieving in our own way.” I reached out for him and stumbled.

  Paulie caught me and held me close. “I feel like I missed so much of your life.”

  “I missed out on yours too,” I admitted. “Do you want to catch up?”

  He sighed. “You sure you wanna know? Things were kinda fucked up for me.”

  I looked up and noticed tears in his eyes. “You need to talk about it. I can tell.” I wiped away one that fell. “We can go sit in the back bedroom if you don’t want anyone to hear.”

  “Chad’s room?” Paulie cocked an eyebrow. “How about we go to my place?”

  I wasn’t sure if I could tell him the truth. Not yet. “Not a good idea. If it wasn’t winter, we could go out back. We could wait until Phil leaves. Chad and Chris have things they can do I’m sure.”

  “OK.” He lifted me up and brought me to the couch. “You relax, and we’ll finish dinner.” He arranged my legs to rest on the cushion next to me. “You have lost weight. Even with the casts, I can feel it.”

  I stared at my hands. “You know how I get when I’m upset.”

  “Yeah. I do.” He lifted my chin and kissed my lips softly. “I remember everything.”

  Chapter 35

  The microwave clock said it was 5:00 in the afternoon. With my crutch under my arm and the sling on, I hobbled around the house. I wanted to be independent again. Although Chris lived with us, I didn’t trouble him for much that day so far. I had even gotten my own breakfast. Cereal wasn’t so hard.

  Chad worked at the kitchen table. Although it was Sunday, he worked on a special project. He blew me a kiss when I approached but didn’t get up. When I opened the refrigerator to get a drink, he smacked my behind.

  “Hey!” I glared at him with a bottle of water in my hand. “What’d I do?”

  With a wink, he said, “Just missed being allowed to do that.” He stood and handed me several pills. “Remember the morning you leaned on this table, and I spanked you?” Then he sat back at the computer.

  The memory flashed through my head, and I smiled. “Yeah, and I remember what you did after. What made you think I’d be OK with that?” I swallowed the pills and looked at Chad to see his reaction.

  He bit his lip. “Your tattoo was all exposed. I had to fuck you.” He cocked an eyebrow. “You liked it, and you know it. I usedta keep condoms in my pocket when you were here because I wanted you all the time.”

  “It was good,” I admitted. Several memories came to me. “You know, I did a lot of things for the first time with you.”

  Chad smiled and pulled me into his lap. “First kiss.” He brushed his lips over mine. “For both of us.” His expression changed which told me he was deep in thought. “I loved how you experimented on me. When you went down on me for the first time…” He tugged me closer. “You were shaking so much I felt guilty. Once you sucked my dick in, I didn’t want you to stop… ever.”

  I hugged him. “Glad you still remember.”

  “Crystal, I remember it all. You were always the one for me.” He leaned his head on mine. “I told you I couldn’t love anyone else.

  I smiled and squeezed his hand. “You also told me you’d give anything to marry your best friend in the whole world.” The scene on the dance floor was clear. “It broke my heart, but now you’re gonna get your wish. You got me forever now. Nothing’s gonna change that. I love you so much more than I loved…”

  I froze with a hand over my mouth. How can I say that? How can I do that to Giovanni? How can I betray him like that? Although Chad was always more important to me than Giovanni was.

  Chad and I had a strong bond almost forever. He knew things about me that Giovanni had no clue about. I loved Giovanni with all my heart, but Chad was always the one. My tears flowed freely, afraid I had desecrated Giovanni’s memory with my thoughts.

  “Crystal, you mean that?” Chad nuzzled my hair when I nodded. “I know it hurt. Giovanni wouldn’t be mad. He knew how close we were. He knew we had something he didn’t share with you.”

  Through tears, I admitted, “If you died instead of him, Giovanni couldn’t’ve stopped me from killing myself so I could still be with you.” Then I lay my head on his shoulder and cried harder.

  Soon, I heard Chris’ voice. “I didn’t know you loved Chad so much, Crystal. I’m sorry. I thought you were just rebounding.”

  Chad and I looked up at him. “This is real,” Chad replied as he held me. “I know it’s hard to accept, but we’re not gonna hide it anymore.”

  After he grabbed a glass of iced tea, Chris stopped next to us. “You shouldn’t have to, but the situation is complicated.”

  “It is.” Chad sighed when Chris left the room. “I guess I need to wrap this up.” He helped me up and started to clean his work area. “Do you want it to be just us?” Chad’s tone told he wanted a no.

  I glanced at my hands then him. “What d’ you mean?” I was still inches from the table. “Just us?”

  “I know.” He sighed. “I know about how things were with you and Giovanni.” He took my hands in his. “Tommy’s birthday… he blurted it out. I doubt he realized what he was saying, but I’m glad he understood you need more.”

  I shook my head. “No. I just need you.”

  He looked into my eyes. “You’re not the same girl I knew years ago. Vanilla isn’t enough, and you know it.”

  “You’re far from vanilla.”

  He grinned. “True. Not what I mean though. I’m fine with sharing you but only with guys I trust.” He lifted my hands to his lips. “It’s only fair that I have threesomes if I want too. Isn’t it?”

  “True.” I wasn’t sure about sharing him though. “Same rules? Someone I trust?”

  With a wink, he nodded. “Of course. You know I still wanna have two chicks. Always wanted one to be you though.”

  I blushed and thought of the females I had fooled around with in the past.

  “Damn.” Chad smirked and chuckled. “You guys did other girls. Didn’t you? Can we find someone to mess around with?”

  My eyes drifted to my arm. “How about after I’m better?” I was quite self-conscious about my body because of all the changes.

  “Fine with me.” He lifted my chin. “Stop worrying about your scars.”

  Chris walked in again. “Rosario’s on his way over.”

  I looked down at myself. “I guess I’m ready.” Maria had invited me for dinner. It felt strange without Giovanni. “Do I look OK?”

  “Are those tights warm enough?” Chad looked me over.

  Most of my pants weren’t loose enough to go over my cast. “I hope so.”

  “We’ll go shopping when you come back if you like.” He wrapped me in his arms again. “Give yourself time to get through all this. You’re too hard on yourself.”

  I was, but I couldn’t help it. So much had happened in the last year. Our lives were turned upside down many times. I lay my head on Chad’s shoulder and took a few deep breaths. Chris hugged me from behind which shocked me. He rarely showed affection. That was, until the accident. He pressed me into Chad slightly and leaned his head on mine.

  “You’ve come so far,” Chris whispered. “We’ll be here for the rest. All of us.” He kissed my temple.

  My eyes closed. The scene was quite touching. I soaked it in and hoped it would help me get through the next few hours. “Thanks,” I murmured, as I fought tears. When I calmed, I leaned back on Chris. “Glad you moved in.”

  “Me too.” He sighed and moved his lips close to my ear. “No more drinking though. Was a good time, but I can’t do that to Chad again.”

  I assumed they talked about it at some time. Through my grief
, I hadn’t thought about Chad’s feelings on the matter. I hoped they also vented to each other about the accident. They had been affected by it as well. A knock on the door startled me. Both Chad and Chris held me tighter.

  The door opened. “Something happen?” Rosario asked. He quickly appeared next to us.

  “Not exactly.” Chad looked up. “Just, well… you know. It’ll take time.”

  Rosario sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder, when Chris pulled away. “That it will. You ready, Crystal?”

  “Yeah.” I forced a smile. “Let me get my purse.” I found it on the kitchen chair where I had left it.

  “You’ll be here, Chad. Right?” Chris sat on the couch. “I made plans with Tommy tonight.”

  Chad stood. “Yeah. No Hailey tonight?”

  “She’s still in Connecticut,” Chris explained. Tommy had said she had a trial that would take several weeks the day before. “How the hell did he find a chick as wild as him?”

  Rosario cocked an eyebrow. “She is? Does he share?”

  “Yeah.” Chris glanced Rosario’s way. “Don’t know if he’d let you get your hands on her though.”

  With a laugh, Rosario replied, “I’d ruin her. She’d never go back to Tommy’s dick after mine.”

  I turned away. My face heated up. The time Rosario trapped me in the bathroom flashed through my mind. It was almost impossible to resist him. His crown piercings drew my curiosity. If I had less willpower, he would have fucked me good that day. From what I had heard, he was an amazing lover. He caught me as I peek at him, and I blushed even more.

  “Mom’s waiting,’ Rosario suddenly said. “Hope you don’t mind we leave now.”

  “It’s fine.” Chad grabbed my jacket and helped me put it on. “Tell Maria I say hi. Give her a kiss for me.”

  I looked up at him. “I will.”

  He leaned down to me but paused just before he kissed my lips. “Call me if you need me.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Let him believe we’re just friends. He can’t handle anything else right now.”