Lily’s chest squeezed. She knew it was true. Sawyer had told her as much. But acknowledging it made it so much harder.
Sadie gave her a sympathetic frown. “Look, you’re an adult and you’re capable of making your own decisions. I know I’ve interfered more than I should in the past, so I won’t bring it up again if you don’t want me to, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t say this when I had the chance.” She blew out a breath, her eyes softening. “Sawyer is in love with you, Lily, and I know you’re in love with him.” She paused to let the weight of that statement sink in. “You’ve got a nice life here, there’s no denying it … but at the end of the day, is any of it worth it without someone you love to share it with?”
Lily stared, her heart pounding against her ribcage. Her mouth opened but no words came. The server brought their appetizers, sparing her from having to answer. The truth was, there was only one answer she could give … and she was terrified to say it out loud.
Later that night, after some sightseeing and sister talk, Sadie went to sleep in Lily’s spare bedroom. Lily had had trouble sleeping ever since her trip to Arkansas, and tonight was no different. She made herself some nighttime herbal tea and cradled the warm mug in her hands, slipping out to sit on the tiny balcony off of her tiny living room. After the tour of Sawyer’s house the space she lived in had seemed to shrink in on itself, and it didn’t welcome her the way his home had. She’d done her best to decorate her apartment and make it her own, but somehow even after five years it still never quite felt like home.
Lily sighed and sank onto her favorite patio chair, tucking her knees up to her chest as she sipped her tea. The familiar sound of sirens and traffic below used to bring her comfort when she felt alone, but tonight the noise only deepened her loneliness. There were millions of people in this city, but not one single person among the millions could fill the void and aching emptiness in her heart. No number of hours spent at work could bring her the happiness she’d felt while in Sawyer’s arms. She was surrounded by humanity all day long, but she’d never felt more alone.
She missed the stillness of an Arkansas evening, and the slower pace of life where neighbors cared for and helped each other. She missed the smell of the autumn leaves scattered along the dirt trails near Eureka Springs. She missed the quaint little town festivals and the smiles of friendly faces she passed along the sidewalk. She missed Arkansas, but most of all … she missed Sawyer.
A small dog barked on the sidewalk below and Lily glanced down to see an older woman pulling on its leash, tugging it away from another dog. The woman was elegantly dressed, her expression unpleasant as she ignored the owner of the other dog and continued pulling her yapping dog down the sidewalk. In that moment, it was as if Lily caught a glimpse of her future self. She could imagine a future in New York with wealth and success—but without any real happiness. Sadie was right. What good was a life without someone you loved in it?
Lily set her mug aside, feeling the first smile on her face in weeks as a new resolve settled through her. She would find a way to be with Sawyer, no matter the cost. At least she had to try. Her heart lifted and she stood abruptly, too giddy to sit still another minute. Forget sleep … she needed to pack.
18
Sawyer walked slowly through the crowd of vendors set up for the fall festival, careful to keep some distance between himself and Monica. He’d explained to her after their group date the other night that he was only interested in friendship, and she’d been surprisingly cool about it. But she still had an eager look in her eyes that made him slightly uneasy about her agreement to be “just friends.” She, Jeremy, and Sarah had invited him to come to the festival, and since it was the last day it was running and he was desperate for any distraction to get his mind off of Lily, he’d agreed.
“Oh, wow—look at this jewelry. It’s from Autumn Mollinero!” Monica exclaimed, pulling on Sawyer’s arm to look with her.
“It’s nice,” he commented, pretending to examine a gold leaf-shaped necklace in a subtle attempt to remove his arm from hers.
“What about these earrings? Don’t you think they bring out the blue in my eyes?” She held them up to her face so he could see.
“Yep.” Sawyer gave her a brief smile. He’d first agreed to go out with her months ago when Jeremy had mentioned that she was a pretty blonde—and the weak part of him had wanted to date someone who looked like Lily, even if he would never see her again. But as soon as he’d met Monica, he’d known the whole thing was a stupid idea. No one could ever replace Lily. Not even close. And the little flirtatious smiles Monica kept giving him tonight made him realize that friendship probably wasn’t in the cards for them. He would be polite, but after tonight he wouldn’t agree to anymore “hanging out.” It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t helping him forget Lily. If anything, it made him miss her even more.
“Is that Sawyer McCall?”
Sawyer turned to see one of his neighbors from the Mountain Cove, Trev Michaels. He smiled. “Hey, Trev. How’s it going?” They shook hands and then Sawyer stiffened when Monica took his arm again.
“Hi, I’m Monica,” she said, looking between them with an expectant smile.
Sawyer barely held back an eye roll. She was really starting to bug him. Not only that, he’d given some flowers to Meredith for the festival and knew her flower cart wasn’t far. The last thing he wanted was for her to see Monica on his arm and think he was already moving on.
He cleared his throat. “Trev, this is my friend, Monica,” he introduced, emphasizing the word “friend” and hoping she would take the hint and drop his arm.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Trev smiled and shook her hand before turning back to Sawyer. “I saw you out fishing the other morning, did you catch anything?”
“Yes, actually I—” Sawyer stopped midsentence, his blood running cold as he looked past Trev’s shoulder. There, in the crowd staring back at him, was Lily. Sawyer blinked and ran a hand over his eyes. He’d thought he’d seen her a few times before, but it definitely wasn’t his imagination. Her expression was stricken as she looked at him standing there with Monica holding onto him. She turned and ran.
“Wait!” Sawyer shouted, startling Monica. He turned to Trev. “Excuse me,” he said, pulling Monica off of his arm before running after Lily.
“Lily, wait!” he shouted again, ignoring the stares and exclamations of bystanders in the crowd as he cut through them. Lily didn’t stop and he cursed under his breath when he lost sight of her, running after where he’d last seen her flash of blonde hair. He was so intent on finding her that he accidentally knocked into a man’s shoulder.
“Hey!” the guy protested.
“So sorry,” Sawyer said, but before he could keep going the guy grabbed his arm and Sawyer got a good look at his face. Mike. He clenched his jaw.
“Lily just ran by in tears.” Mike shoved Sawyer back. “What did you do to her?”
“That’s none of your business,” Sawyer growled, attempting to move past him. He didn’t have time for this. He needed to find Lily.
“I think it is my business,” Mike shot back. “You’ve hurt her enough. She’s clearly running away from you, so leave her alone.” He pushed Sawyer in the chest, getting in his face.
“Don’t do this, man,” Sawyer warned, lifting his hands. “I’m not going to hurt Lily; I just need to talk to her. I’m not here to get in a fight.”
“You’re not going after her,” Mike said, crossing his arms to show off his biceps as he planted his feet. “I was right to mess with your wave runner. You’re no good for her.”
“You what?” Sawyer clenched his jaw and tightened his fists. It made sense now—how Mike had conveniently shown up at exactly the right time to help Lily. He wanted to punch his lights out, but it would be a waste of time. He shook his head in disgust, only vaguely aware of the crowd forming around them. “Don’t let me catch you around my property ever again,” he warned, staring him down. “We’re done here
.” He ducked to the side to move past, but Mike took a swing at his face, hitting him in the side of the cheek. Pain shot through his cheekbone and anger coursed through him. Right.
Sawyer turned and punched Mike square in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards. He glared and was about to come at Sawyer again when Gavin appeared and caught him around the chest. “Easy, mate. Settle down.”
“Oh my goodness … it’s Gavin Stone!” a woman squealed. Even in his ball cap and sunglasses he was easy to recognize. The whole crowd erupted and started pressing in. Gavin released Mike, a look of panic on his face.
“This way.” Sawyer grabbed his arm and ran toward a side alley. Gavin followed as Sawyer led him down the alley and then on a sharp turn toward a little-known back section of shops. Sawyer darted behind a low brick wall used to hide an air conditioning unit. Gavin crouched beside him, both of them breathing hard as they listened to the surge of the crowd moving past, calling Gavin’s name.
Once it was quiet, Sawyer turned to Gavin and cocked an eyebrow, ignoring the pain still throbbing on the side of his face. “You get to deal with that all of the time, huh?”
Gavin grimaced. “Sadie was helping her mom at her flower booth, so I reckoned I’d take a walkabout, hoping the disguise would work … but I guess it didn’t this time.” He shrugged and nudged Sawyer’s elbow. “Care to explain the street brawl?”
Sawyer scoffed and shook his head. “Your friend’s a real hothead, you know that?” He stood and held his hand out to Gavin, helping him to stand.
“He can be. Especially when it comes to women.” He gave Sawyer an amused look. “I take it Lily’s back in town?”
Sawyer raked a hand through his hair. “I had no idea she was coming. I’ve got to find her.”
Gavin put a hand on his shoulder. “Good luck, mate. I don’t know what you did to scare her off this time, but I hope you can catch her.” He winked. “Thanks for helping me out back there.”
“Anytime.”
Gavin tipped the brim of his ball cap and shrugged his jacket around his shoulders, looking down both sides of the street before walking briskly away.
Desperation clawed at Sawyer. He pulled his phone out and texted the number he’d wanted to call countless times since Lily left.
I can explain. I’m not dating that girl. She’s just a friend. Please tell me where you are so I can talk to you.
He sent the text and waited for several agonizing minutes for Lily’s reply. He sent another text to tell Jeremy that he wasn’t coming back and asking him to give Monica a ride home. After fifteen minutes he gave up waiting for Lily to respond and resumed looking for her on foot.
He made his way back to Main Street, grateful that there was no sign of Mike and that the crowd surrounding the fight had dispersed. He started heading the direction he’d last seen Lily when his mom’s voice brought him up short.
“Sawyer McCall, what on earth?” she demanded, moving away from a group of friends outside of a candle shop. She placed her hands on her hips, staring him down as she approached. “I just heard that you were in a fistfight in the middle of the sidewalk not twenty minutes ago.” Her eyes widened and she tilted his face to the side to inspect his cheek. “I guess this red mark confirms it.” She shook her head, pulling him into a near-empty souvenir shop away from onlookers before she turned to face him. “You’ve got some explaining to do, young man.”
Sawyer groaned. “It’s a long story. Lily’s here and I’ve got to find her. Have you seen her?”
Trisha blinked. “She came back?”
He nodded, checking his phone again, the sinking feeling in his chest growing heavier with each minute that she didn’t reply.
Her face softened. “I haven’t seen her, but if I do, I’ll tell her you’re looking for her.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He scanned the crowds outside the shop window for Lily’s blonde hair, anxious to keep moving.
“I’ll say it again, I never could understand why you let her go in the first place.” Trisha frowned sadly as she studied him. “You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you hadn’t.”
Sawyer took a deep breath. This was a conversation he should have had with his mom a long time ago. “I didn’t want her to resent me—the way I was afraid you did.”
“What?” Trisha’s face pinched in confusion. “I’ve never resented you, honey. What makes you think that?”
He looked at his hands. “I read it. In your journal. I know I shouldn’t have been snooping, but I was looking for information about Dad, and I found an entry you wrote.” He looked up at her and swallowed once. “I’m sorry I got in the way of your dreams, Mom.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Trisha’s eyes grew misty as she pulled him to her. “I don’t know what that journal entry said, but I have never, ever for one moment resented having you in my life.” She pulled back and gently took his face in her hands. “Not once.” She shook her head and lifted a shoulder. “Sure there were times when I was frustrated with my situation, but my choices were my own, and I never blamed you for them. You are, without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He hugged her back, feeling the cracks in his heart begin to heal. It wasn’t whole again—it never would be without Lily. But it helped ease some of the pain from his past.
“I feel awful that you’ve held onto that for all of these years.” She squeezed him tighter before pulling back to look at his face. “It’s my fault you broke up with Lily. You didn’t want to get in the way of her dreams like you thought you’d gotten in the way of mine?”
He shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I should have talked to you when I found that entry. In fact, I shouldn’t have been snooping in the first place.” He smiled sadly. “But in a way, I think things are better this way. She and I both needed to find ourselves and see where life would take us. I just hope it isn’t too late.” His stomach twisted and he looked through the window to the crowds again.
“You’ll find her,” Trisha said, letting him go with an emphatic nod. “You two were meant to be together. Besides, you know her better than anyone. Where would she go if she wanted to be alone?”
Sawyer rubbed his chin, ignoring the ache on the side of his face from Mike’s punch as he considered. Where would she go? When the answer came it was so obvious, he could have slapped himself. He grinned and gave his mom a quick peck on the forehead. “Mom, you’re a genius.”
She laughed. “Happy to help. Now go get her!”
He nodded and left the shop, taking off at a jog down the street. He needed to get to his Harley, and fast.
19
Lily sat on a bench in the corner of the Thorncrown Chapel, quietly wiping away tears beneath her sunglasses as the last of the tourists meandered out of the building and she was alone. She stared out of the window at the surrounding trees.
As a little girl she’d thought this was the prettiest building she’d ever seen, made almost entirely of glass and tucked away in the forest like an enchanted castle. In a way, it reminded her of Sawyer’s greenhouse, and the thought brought a stab of sadness so intense she couldn’t breathe. She’d imagined marrying Sawyer here. They’d even daydreamed about it during one of their late-night talks on the porch swing … shortly before he’d ended things.
She was a fool to think she could rekindle what belonged in the past. Just like this chapel and the dream of being married here. All of these things were a part of the old her—they held no place in her future. She thought of the blonde woman attached to Sawyer’s arm and a fresh wave of tears threatened. She was probably the same pretty blonde in the red bikini she’d heard about. Maybe that’s why he’d been so open to trying a long-distance relationship, so he could date both of them at the same time.
She batted the bitter thought away, knowing that wasn’t the kind of guy he was, but it almost helped to ease the pain to imagine him that way.
“Is this seat taken?”
Lily’s heart s
topped but she didn’t turn at the sound of Sawyer’s voice. Of course he’d known she would come here. He knew all of her secrets. All of her hopes and dreams. She swallowed hard and shrugged, not turning from the window.
“I don’t blame you for being angry, Lil,” he said softly. “If I’d seen what you saw, I probably wouldn’t believe me either—but I promise you that woman is nothing to me.”
“The two of you certainly looked like more than nothing,” she said, her voice holding an edge.
“I know.” He sighed. “My friend Jeremy and his girlfriend have been trying to get us together. I’ve hung out with them a few times, but I told Monica that I’m not interested in being anything other than friends. You can ask her yourself.”
“Monica,” Lily repeated, the name tasting like acid on her tongue.
“Yes. Do you want me to call her right now and you can talk to her and ask for yourself? Of course, she might not be too happy with me, considering I ran off after you and left her there.”
A tiny smile forced its way to her lips. That visual did make her feel a little better. And the fact that he was ready to call eased her mind further. He was telling the truth. “No, thanks. That won’t be necessary,” she said, casting a furtive glance his way. When she got a good look at him her eyes widened. “What happened to your face?”
“Oh, this?” He gestured to his cheek and raised his eyebrows. “I ran into someone’s fist.”
“What?!” She turned to face him fully. “Did you get into a fight?”
He shrugged. “Mike saw you running past him in tears, and he tried to stop me from following you.”
Lily covered her mouth. “You got into a fight with Mike?”
He raised his hands. “In my defense, I tried not to. He threw the first punch.”
She blinked. She knew from a few high school brawls that Sawyer could hold his own in a fistfight. “Is he okay?” she asked.
The Billionaire's Second Chance: Billionaire Bachelor Mountain Cove Page 12