Fuming, I let some of the water out, and then turned the hot water tap with my big toe, filling the tub back up to my chin again. It didn’t matter that my fingers were puckered and pruned by the time I hauled myself out. What mattered was for an hour, maybe even two depending on how much time I needed to myself, I felt like the old me. Or at least I did so long as I kept my eyes closed.
The bruising wasn’t as bad anymore. It wasn’t great, either. Looking a mottled shade of rotten tended to put any girl in a bad mood, but the green and brownish-colored bruises were fading. Soon enough, they would be completely gone, leaving me to look as though nothing happened at all.
At least my arm hadn’t been broken. The bone had chipped, and there was a small hairline fracture less than a half inch long. Left to its own devices, and with the help of a sling and an ACE bandage, I had proper use of my arm, so long as I didn’t lift anything over a couple of pounds. That eliminated almost everything.
Having so many restrictions seemed to put a bubble of anger around me that brewed just under the surface and never quite went away. It swirled and poked at the already-intensified feelings stretched to the point of consuming me.
It wasn’t their fault, not really. I understood their need to make sure I was okay—that they only wanted to make me feel safe and protected. What they didn’t understand was it was making me go a little mad in the process. I had to tell them. I had to make them understand that everything they’d done was appreciated, but unnecessary. None of us would be able to fully move on if we kept on that way.
I wanted to go back to work. Wanted to put it all in the past and keep moving forward. Slade was back. We had every moment of every day together. I needed to feel needed, not pitied.
The telephone rang in the kitchen, startling me. Water sloshed over the side of the tub, and I cursed under my breath when I heard the direction of Slade’s footsteps. Instead of answering the phone, he was headed toward me.
The shrill ringing punctured the air again, and I couldn’t help but snap. “Answer the damn phone! I’m fine.”
His footsteps halted, and then reversed direction. Seconds later, he answered the phone. I heaved a silent sigh of something like relief.
The low rumble of Slade’s voice carried over the air. I felt it deep in my bones as if it spoke to me in a primal sort of way. It made me ache as if I had a virus rampaging through my body with no control until it burned itself out.
Since I’d been home, Slade had hugged me, kissed me, and held me close to him as we slept, but that was all. I was burning for more than a few simple touches.
Quiet filled the air and I shut off my thoughts, wondering who was on the other line. What could they possibly be saying? Did it have anything to do with him?
My heart pounded against my ribs, sounding off in my ears to the point where I found myself leaning against the side of the tub with my head stretched to get a little closer to the door.
When he spoke again, it was slow, deliberate words. Words I could understand without having to strain, but kept doing so on the off chance his voice dropped.
“Marley did yesterday,” Slade said, answering whatever question was asked. "The last time that happened, it was you, ya old coot. You sure it wasn’t your hand that slipped again?” he asked.
Confusion settled over me. Who the hell was he talking to?
“Lex is in town talking to the sheriff. I’ll call him and let him know. No, I can’t right now. Marley is riding the south pasture. The other hands are covering his chores, plus their own.”
There had been a touch of annoyance in Slade’s voice, but for some reason, I didn’t think it was directed at the other person on the line. Just by what little Slade had said, I knew the person on the other end of the phone had to be Grant.
How many people were keeping tabs on my safety? The whole of Colorado County? And was I really surprised? No. There wasn’t anyone who didn’t know the Owens’ boys. Gossip was the main source of entertainment in these parts, and rumor would spread faster than a Facebook post going viral. Anything that happened became dinner conversation and everyone’s business whether they liked it or not. Small-town living wasn’t always quiet and peaceful, especially not for the one sitting in the hot seat.
“…I’ll call Lex. That’s all I can do right now,” Slade said, getting a little louder.
Something had happened that Grant wanted Slade to check out. Hiding behind the bathroom door no longer seemed necessary. If whatever Grant wanted led to something that would end the way everyone tiptoed around me and catered to my every whim, I was all for it.
I got out of the tub and dried off as quickly as I could while the water gurgled down the drain. A million-plus thoughts raced each other around my head. If Slade thought babysitting me was more important, he had another thing coming.
I had a full head of steam going when I made it out of the bathroom. Frustrated by my inability to wrap my own arm, and the way some movements would stop me from being able to fully dress myself without help, only added to the brewing storm I found myself spewing in Slade’s direction when he turned to me, smiled, and asked, “Need some help?”
“Help? That’s an odd thing to ask me when you just told Grant no,” I fired at him.
His head cocked, eyebrows drawing low as he replied, “What are you—”
I clutched the towel I’d wrapped around me close to my chest and pointed my finger at him, noticing the way it shook in response to my anger as I continued, “I’m not a child. I don’t need a babysitter, and I damn sure don’t need anyone else having to cover someone’s responsibilities around here because you and Lex want to hover!”
“We’re not ho—”
“Yes, you are! You don’t think I’ve noticed the way the two of you are shifting everything around so one of you can be here? I’m injured, not stupid,” I snapped, grabbing the towel with both hands as it slipped down my chest.
Slade didn’t miss the flash of skin. I saw the way his eyes widened. Watched his pupils dilate and his face take on a flush that had nothing to do with being embarrassed.
He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed before saying, “No one thinks that, Gracen. And as far as leaving you alone? You are damn right we won’t. He’s still out there, Gray. We have no idea where, and until we do, you won’t be left alone.”
An angry laughed slipped out. “And what happens if they never catch him, huh? What happens if he slips right on past everyone looking for him, moseys on down the state, and decides to slip on into Mexico? I hear the weathers beautiful there this time of year!”
I found myself shouting at Slade, not really understanding why.
He cringed. “Don’t you think we’ve thought of that? We’re doing everything we can to make sure he’s found. And trust me, he won’t be slipping off anywhere if any one of us here on this ranch, or any of the others surrounding us, finds him first.”
While he kept his tone low, his meaning wasn’t lost.
“Yet, here you sit, watching over me. I’m—”
“Do not say you’re fine. I swear to God, I’ll lose it if you do,” Slade snapped, showing a bit of anger.
“But I am fine! I’ll be fine. You can’t sit here day after day watching me. Waiting for me to crack, or do whatever it is you think I’ll do because you think I can’t handle what happened,” I argued.
“And when your memories return? What then? Do you think we like doing this, Gray? Do you think I like watching you as if you’re a ticking time bomb with a faulty fuse? I don’t… just to clarify. But I’ll be damned if I won’t be here for you. I’ll be damned if I watch you hurt anymore. I just don’t have it in me,” Slade said, crossing the room and pulling me against him.
I gasped, but not from pain. He was shaking so hard it vibrated me. Fire danced in his eyes just before he ripped the towel away. It fell to the floor and he kicked it away, stepping back enough to lift me into his arms.
Words log-jammed in my throat as my mouth opened and cl
osed without protesting I wasn’t done talking about it.
He took the stairs a little faster than he normally would and then crossed the threshold to his room, stopping long enough to set me on the bed.
I scrambled back in order to give him room beside me, watching him retreat a step with a look of horror on his face. “I’m so sorry, Gray. I didn’t mean—”
“To leave me in the middle of the bed naked only to watch you walk away?” I interrupted.
He blinked, and then blinked again. “I thought I’d scared you.”
I huffed. “The only thing that scares me is thinking you’ll never touch me again. I need that, Slade. I need you.”
He huffed, crossing his arms. “I touch you all the time.”
The noise that came out of me was a cross between an angry laugh and a choked groan. “That is not what I meant and you know it.”
He looked over my shoulder toward the window. Sunlight bright and warm bathed the room with its cheerful shine. The sun had the way of it. It didn’t matter what happened. Every day, without fail, it would be there, even if it was hidden. Bright and warm. Humanity be damned. The world could rip itself apart over and over, but the sun would still be there. Still be providing light and warmth. If the sun could do that, so could Slade Owens. I wasn’t going to let him back away from me anymore.
“I might never remember what happened, or I could blink my eyes and it will all be there. Does it really matter? It happened. I’m moving on no matter what. I’ll be damned if I let someone have that kind of control over me. I won’t live in fear because someone else tried to plant it inside me. And I damn sure won’t break if you make love to me.”
His eyes snapped to mine. In them, I saw the hunger, the need, but most of all, I saw the restraint, and it was frayed to its very limit.
Slade’s arms fell to his sides as he sighed deeply. “This isn’t about wanting you, Gracen—”
“I need you,” I said, butting in. I didn’t want to hear any excuses, or reasons. We were past that. “And I think you need me, too.”
His head dropped, but only for a second. When his eyes met mine again, there was a fire there. A fire I’d lit. One that wouldn’t be put out by him walking away.
I moved to the edge of the bed and put my hand out to him.
He moved toward me until I had to part my knees to make room for him. His shirt slipped over his chest and then fell to the floor. I scooted back on the bed, coming up to my knees, hands splayed on his chest as they moved up and cupped his face. I kissed him, not letting him go as he finished undressing, clinging to him as he lowered us to the mattress and settled over me. He broke the kiss and trailed a line of kisses along my jaw and down my neck. His lips searing a healing path over the fading bruises from one end of my body to the other, and then… then he worked his way back up and kissed me with such a whisper-soft touch it felt like the kiss of butterfly wings.
“Gray, you have to tell me if—”
“Nothing you could do right now would hurt more than you walking away from me. I need you. I need this,” I said, hands running down the straining muscles of his back, urging him to come to me. “So stop trying to be a gentleman. Now isn’t the time for it.”
His mouth curled into a smile as his eyes glittered with a look so intense my heart raced. My body jerked in response when he said, “Yes, ma’am.”
My head settled on Slade’s chest. As I listened to the hard pounding of his heart, I found myself settling further against him. How had we not recognized our feelings before? How had we let it go for so many years before giving in? So many lost years that could never be regained, yet I’d never wish them away. His friendship had been my anchor since the day I arrived on the ranch. No matter what, Slade was my gravity, and he always would be.
“Here I was worried about hurting you and you damn near broke me, woman,” he murmured before kissing the top of my head.
I chuckled against his nipple, and he made a strangled noise as his whole body shuddered in response. As tempted as I was to keep going and see where it would take us, I was also really sore and more than a little tired. Over-exertion, the doctors would call it. I painted that diagnosis with a whole other brush and would go as far as calling it a case of lazy ass. I hadn’t done much since I’d been back on the ranch, and my muscles had lost a bit of firmness because of it.
“I think you should go see to whatever Grant wanted,” I said, biting my lip as I waited for him to give me hell.
“Lex will be home soon. Grant will have to wait,” he answered, running his fingers along my arm in a gentle glide.
“What do you think will happen if you leave me home to take a well-deserved nap? I have my cell phone, and it’s not like the pots and pans are going to attack me,” I said, giving him a slight nudge with my hip.
He snorted. “Pots and pans… I think the only one who should be worried about them is Lex.”
I moved then, propping myself on my elbow and looking down at him. “I’m serious. I’m not planning on leaving the house. I’ll stay right here and keep the sheets warm for you.”
He sighed. “Gray…”
There was a moment’s hesitation, and I jumped on it. “If there’s a chance, even a small one, that whatever Grant called you about has something to do with him, I want you to go. I want this to be over so everyone stops looking over their shoulders. I want to get back to the way it was. Chores and riding the fences. My job. Falling into your arms at night. I want that so bad I ache for it, so please… go see Grant.”
“Lex would have my ass if I left you,” he said, shaking his head.
“Lex isn’t my father, or my… my boyfriend—”
“Oh, honey, we’re way past that sort of classification. You’re not my girlfriend or my lover, Gray. You’re my everything. As soon as all of this is settled, you’ll be my wife and the mother of my children. The woman I make scream my name and all sorts of naughty things even as she blushes. You’ll continue being my sunset and sunrise, my partner, for the rest of our lives.”
I melted a little, but couldn’t help giving him a hard time. “Oh? I suppose I have no say in the matter?”
In one fluid movement, I was on my back, looking up into his eyes as he said, “Didn’t think I had to ask, but since you put it that way…” He ducked down and nipped at my lips, pulling back just as fast as he continued speaking, entering me at the same time, “I love you, Gracen. I have for most of my life. I want to love you, protect you, and have passionate sex with you. I want to grow old with you and plant our children inside you. We’ll spend the rest of our lives growing old together as we raise our kids and ride the fields, tend the land, and fulfill each other’s dreams.”
I felt it rising in me like the beginnings of an explosion. His words rang out with an honesty so deep it consumed me as he kept a slow and steady pace, telling me he meant every damn word he said. And he’d brought me right to the edge and left me teetering there, shattering me when he said, “Will you marry me?”
My answer poured out of me as he followed me into completion before rolling the both of us over. Yes, I’d marry him. Yes, I’d spend the rest of my life doing all those things he’d said to me, and maybe more.
I fought to stay awake. Wanted to memorize his face at that moment, so I could remember the way he looked right after the most amazing proposal of a lifetime, but I couldn’t fight the way my body jerked me into a catatonic state of oblivion. For a few brief seconds, our eyes connected. I saw the love there, and that would have to be enough.
Chapter 21
Slade
I’d forgotten to charge my cell phone. Not wanting to leave the house with no way for Gracen to get in touch with me, I took hers with me and left mine charging on the nightstand beside my bed.
Walking away from her as she slept wasn’t easy. I forced myself to leave, wishing I could strip back down and duck back under the covers with her.
Before I left the house, I called Grant from the kitchen phone wher
e his number was scribbled on an old piece of paper right beside the receiver and told him that I was on my way, that I’d meet him at the downed section of fence. He’d told me he had a few of his hands working on getting it fixed and that he’d sent two more out to get a ‘lay of the land’ because something seemed fishy.
As my truck bounced over the wide expanse of pasture, my thoughts kept returning to Gracen. Leaving her alone didn’t sit right with me. Enough so that I stopped the truck in the middle of the pasture and shot a text to Lex, letting him know I had Gracen’s phone, giving him a brief explanation of Grant’s call, and telling him I’d left Gracen at home to sleep. When Lex answered, he told me he’d wrap up what he was doing and head home, but it would be about an hour.
After his reply, I sent Gracen a text.
Had to take your phone since mine was almost dead. Lex will be home in an hour. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Keep those sheets warm for me.
I hit the send button, wondering why a wave of something like nausea rolled over me. I tried to shake it off as I drove a little faster than I normally would through the pasture to get to the downed fence that connected our property to Grant’s.
The fence line hadn’t just been tampered with. There were sections where the barbed wire had been cut away from the rails and tossed all over on both sides of the property.
“I shouldn’t have come,” I said, giving Grant my best steely eyed stare. “This was deliberate. Someone wanted to use this as a way to drag people away from the house.”
I walked away, yanking Gracen’s phone out of my pocket and calling my own. It only rang, clicking over to a generic voice mail message. Panic clawed at me when I brought up my name and saw the number saved wasn’t mine. I’d been so stupid. So unbelievably dumb. And I, yet again, had left her unprotected.
What It Takes (A Dirt Road Love Story) Page 18