The Curious Quests of Brigadier Ffellowes

by Sterling E. Lanier

  The silence grew unbearable and Ffellowes' smooth pink cheeks finally loosened and he resumed his tale.

  "Something huge and covered with matted hair was dropping down that cliff face behind us, on what we'd all thought was the one safe side. How it found grip, I'll never know, and it was half-falling and half-climbing, I think, now.

  "I saw its turned head in the torchlight, the great fangs and the red, glaring eyes between the mighty shoulders and the vast arms and crook-clawed hands, the huge straight legs and the claws on the toes as well. It was an instant, glaring picture of primal terror, caught as one catches a flash bulb photo, all in a split second.

  "The oddest thoughts tend always to surface in a time of crisis. No doubt those of you who've seen combat in a war have noticed the phenomena. I had the weirdest flash then and it went like this: 'There are no reddish-blond gorillas in Central America. And its legs are much too long anyway!

  "For the matted pelt that covered the hide of this monster was the color I've just used, a sort of reddish yellow and it was short, not like the longer hair of a gorilla or chimp you know.

  "I had my gun drawn but frankly not levelled. It was Lucas, that trained hunter, who was ready, not I. His Webley .455 went off with a roar and young Hooper's was not much behind. It was I, the supposedly trained soldier and the leader of the group, who finally fired third. I will say that I fired at the demon head, just in my own defense, you know and to demonstrate to you fellows that I wasn't totally panicked. Damned lucky I finally came to, I might add.

  "That huge, ghastly vision never let out one cough or even a grunt. It simply collapsed and fell, from perhaps eight feet up on that rock wall. One moment it was alive and about to leap on us, the next it was a huddled pile of reeking, bloody fur, clearly seen in the torch light for all three of us now had our flash buttons out and down. It was odd that the frog orchestra never stopped even for those three shots. The night was returned in an instant to the sounds of its normal voices while the three of us just stood frozen, staring at what we'd killed. I holstered my gun and started swatting mosquitoes without even thinking about it I felt like a moron later when I thought of what might have happened had there been more than one of those things!

  "Now we come to more of my stupidity. It was not the trained Intelligence wallah who spotted the next piece of evidence but young Hooper who at this moment had both sharper eyes and quicker wits. He bent and held his light close to the outflung right hand, for claws, size and all, it was a hand, of the dead thing. I almost choked when I saw what he'd noticed. To prove it was a 'hand' and not a paw, it was clenched tight in a death spasm and clenched around the shaft of a weapon too. That dead grip was around the wood of a short and incredibly massive spear! A further glance along the shaft showed the glittering, broad point, which gleamed black in the torch light. As heavy and broad as the wood was massive, so too was the obsidian blade, sharpened by clearly-seen chipping and flaking to razor edges!

  "Well, that chap Lucas read my mind at this point 'I listen good,' he said, almost casually. 'Dis the onliest one around. Maybe more come but I think this one find us alone by himself and try kill us quick.'

  While Lucas spoke, though I heard him clearly, I was looking hard at other things, details that fit nothing I'd ever dreamt of, let alone heard about. The hairy hand that retained its weapon had a thumb as long and human in shape as mine. I'm sure you men know that no ape, gorilla or other, has anything but a short peg, a stump that can't grip or even bend. That dispelled any thought of the lower primates on the spot. You could, I suppose, teach a trained ape to carry a weapon but you can't train him into growing a thumb!

  "Next I carefully examined the head, which happened to lie face up so that I didn't have to move anything or touch the foul-smelling bulk. Oh, did it stink, a feral reek of everything wild, mixed with rank garbage! But I breathed through my mouth and carefully looked at that head. Oddly, the more I looked, the less horrid it got. Here's why.

  "Under that curious pelt which was longer on the top just like a man's hair, was a large, but not abnormally-shaped skull. There was a big hole in it where my bullet had gone home and I hate to think what would have happened if I'd missed. One of the other shots had hit an arm and only by a narrow margin, while the third had gone high and to the right in the chest If that thing had been given a few seconds in that little rock bay with that great spear, well, I think the whole party would have lost a few guests.

  "The head of this creature grew more interesting every second I was staring at it. It had a small but adequate nose. The canines were very large and pointed, easy to see since the mouth gaped open in death. But and this interested me even more, there was a highish forehead, a well-rounded chin, such as no ape or monkey possesses, and glimpsed through the dirty head hair, ears not unlike those of, say Parker here," and he nodded at me.

  I must have turned purple or something because they all laughed but the Brigadier held up one hand and the laughter died. "I only meant," he said, "that they were quite normal ears, that's all, but you don't see yet, any of you, what I'm getting at, nor should you, I suppose." He paused to collect his thoughts and then continued.

  "There was a frontal brow ridge on this thing's forehead, which I think now nothing more than the Neanderthal Man had. But it was a high forehead, not ape-like. And there was a goodish bump at the skull's back, which I believe is the occiput—"

  He paused again and then came out with his full thought, one he'd apparently been skirting for some reason. "What I'm driving at is this: Aside from the enormous size, for the creature was seven foot tall at least, and the massive bulk and the pelt of course, what I was looking at was no ape at all but a crudish sort of very large man, a giant man with fur all over him."

  I must have been brooding subconsciously about my own ears and Ffellowes' remark, because I saw a point or two I thought he'd missed and that made me bold, bold enough to interrupt, something I had seldom dared as did few others when one of the Brigadier's stories was in progress.

  "Excuse me, Sir," I said quickly, "but what about those great claws you said you'd seen. Claws on both toes and fingers, wasn't it?"

  I was afraid I'd made the greatest tale-teller I ever knew angry when those blue eyes hit mine as he was about to speak. He only smiled a little though and just kept talking.

  "Parker has a point there," he said to all of us. "Glad he made me think and remember. They weren't claws, they were immense, crooked fingernails, uncut, sharp and filthy." He ruminated a moment and then went on. "I may be wrong but they looked as if they'd been filed sharp, you know and I looked carefully. Yet, that wasn't the main reason I looked so long at those great hairy hands. On the right middle finger, clenched in that death grip around the spear handle, I saw a glint of something bright. I parted the fur with my pistol barrel and there it was, a huge gold ring!

  "It was quite smooth, though very large and had a big green stone in the center, a dull circle of what looked to me like jade. It made me catch my breath to see it on the hand of this awful brute and I turned to point it out to Lucas and George.

  "Neither one seemed much surprised. I guess they had lived too long with the thought of marvels to be as impressed as I was. Lucas gave a purring chuckle and then said, 'These bad place thing, these killer men of the mountain dark, they rich. They got gol' and jewel to hide, mebbe an' that why then don' come out and kill whoever try come in here.' What it was that stuck in my throat about his comment was not the idea of a hidden treasure. No, it was the way both he and the younger chap quietly and directly took the thing I had killed to be ... a man!

  "I mentioned this, commenting on the fur and the lack of any clothes as well. They were not impressed, either of them, by these arguments. 'They wild things, bad things, these men,' said Hooper. 'Try to kill us or anyone that come here, Cap'n. Look hard at that shape, the head, that shahp speeah he got. An' the fingah ring too. That ain't no animal, Sah. No way. In ol' time, the Bible say these men live an' whatever live in
his mountain, it very ol'. Remember, Cap'n, it tell in the Book "an' Esau were a hairy man"?'

  "That remark finished the argument for me. I'd come to much the same conclusion anyway, and if the Bible were going to be quoted against me, I'd better keep my trap shut. Frankly, you chaps, I thought I'd found a member of some lost race of what used to be called Missing Links, some creatures that had survived in a lost wilderness long after Homo sapiens had risen and cleared the Earth of his more brutish relatives, save for the few lingering colonies of great apes like the gorillas. The thought of what a great discovery we'd made danced through my brain but Lucas' next words drove the idea far away.

  "He wasted little time. 'We got to get rid of this 'un,' he said bluntly. 'Mebbe other ones come aftah him and follow he tracks. Bury him quick, that what did ought to be did!'

  "I had no argument with this remark either. Guns or no guns, we'd stand no chance against a mob of these creatures even in daylight, not in this thick bush, while at night they'd smother us.

  "Working by the light of our torches, always kept pointed down, we scratched up the soft earth and moved the rocks in it until we had a pit three feet deep cleared. Before we shoved the reeking body into it, I used my big knife, of which more later, and hacked off that ring, throwing the severed finger into the pit I pocketed the ring. I was going to have some evidence of something, anyway. The other two said nothing and for all I know, assumed I had just used the rank I had as leader to grab a piece of loot first.

  "When we'd finally got that enormous body dumped in and wiped our hands on leaves and grass, we simply stamped the earth hard and flat for we'd shoved the loose dirt and rocks back in and covered our work as thoroughly as we could.

  "It wouldn't have deceived a policeman or even a skilled woodsman, not for long, but in a jungle where rot works fast and growth faster, both Lucas and I knew it would soon be quite unfindable.

  "Then, I raised another point I had overlooked in the excitement and which I'm sure all of you have been puzzling over. I asked Lucas, the skilled woodsman, what he thought about the sound of our three shots.

  "He didn't seem concerned or even much worried. 'Remembah, Captain, what I tell you about hunting along the edge of this bad place? Lots of them Injun down in the low country got guns. Here in this little hole, wit all those frog an' bug sounds, if anyone, even us like, heah a shot or two, it soun' far off and not clost—' He thought for a minute and then added a word. 'Somehow, I feel shuah this killer man come alone an' he won' be missed by them other things till day come or mebbe longer.'

  "We were all silent then and deep in thought. My own ideas were simple for the hunter's last words had brought out another thing I'd managed not to consider.

  "Whatever we had killed, it could not be alone. To keep a whole area inviolate and under a blanket of fear and avoidance for countless years, perhaps countless centuries, there had indeed to be more than once specimen of whatever he had been. I was now thinking of he and not it myself, you see.

  "Well, dawn finally came, as it does in the Tropics, as fast as the dark falls. A red glow in the East changed to bright morning sunlight in a few seconds. We packed our stuff and set off again, but I had them both do as I did and unfasten and tuck back the flaps on their pistol holsters, for a quick draw if needed.

  "We climbed slowly and watchfully for three hours and I then called Lucas back and George up from the rear. I explained that we needed two things, a rest and a 'cleanoff'. The ticks and crawling bugs had got all over me during the night and were driving me wild. Also, we'd had no morning grub, having decamped in a hurry from our haunted lair under the cliff.

  "We were following up a fair-sized stream at the time and Lucas looked at the water thoughtfully. Suddenly his face lit up and he slapped his leg. He said only one word, unintelligible to me and that was 'Billums!' I had no idea what he meant but dutifully followed as he set off at a tremendous pace, still following the noisy brook up and over the rocks and screens and ducking under tree branches and vines as we did so.

  "About 10:00 A.M. we suddenly hit the top of the biggest rise we had yet seen. Lucas waved us down flat on our stomachs and we all peered over the rim of sharp rock. The stream, now icy-cold and ten feet across, was pouring over the cliff or hill edge very close on our right.

  "There before us lay a broad stretch of savannah, mostly tall grasses and a few scrub trees. On the far side, almost half a mile away, a belt of tall forest began again. But what Lucas was looking for lay much closer, no more than a hundred yards off. It was a long, crystalline pool, fringed by ferns and aquatic shrubs, all low except at the upper end where the stream entered and the lower where it left to flow over the hill. But we were at an angle and could see it clearly, all sixty feet or so of its length. At a signal from Lucas we sneaked over to the taller shrubs near us and then to the lower edge of this lovely water.

  "Lucas said he would take first watch and told both George, who was equally at a loss, and I to take off everything and lie in the pool with only our heads out. We were not to move, even though things tickled us! We would come to no harm and we would have no bugs left in a minute, or even less. While on watch, he, Lucas would debug our clothes and then we would watch while he immersed himself in turn.

  "Ye Gods that water was cold! Not icy but we were hot and sweaty and plain filthy as well. After a second shock, it felt heavenly and I lay back to watch a pair of hummingbirds, flickering close by over some arum plants growing from the water. Then, suddenly I felt a series of tugs all over, as if someone were pulling my body hairs in six different places.

  "Both George and I jumped with a start, for he'd felt the same thing! I looked at Lucas on the bank above me and he was grinning widely, a thing I seldom saw that impassive chap do. Then I looked down at my body, all visible in the utterly clear water. I was surrounded by little fishes, some very brightly colored. They were darting in and out all over me and pulling off every tick, ant or bug on my body.

  Sometimes, they would grab a hair by mistake and that was the 'tickling.' Lucas murmured his word again and I had my first experience with the 'Billums', the tiny, tropical fish he had been looking for to get us all clean. I relaxed again for I knew the piranhas of the Amazon did not come this far to the North.

  "Well, he was right again. In five minutes we were quite clean and we climbed out and traded places while he went in himself. Once in our now debugged clothes again, we felt wonderful, being clean as well. Lucas had not been in the water a minute and I was searching out food with George when we heard an acid hiss like that of a huge snake. It was Lucas and his immobile head was facing the other end of the pool. We had slacked on our sentry job but he had not.

  "We flattened ourselves behind a bank of foot-long, giant arum leaves and slid our Enfields forward. I saw nothing at first but soon noticed a waving of leaves coming our way down from where the upper stream entered the pool. The motion stopped near the water and we waited, ready, we thought, for anything.

  "We were wrong. No one was ready for the most wonderful sight I ever saw. The bushes parted suddenly and out stepped a woman, the most glorious sight of my not too hum-drum life.

  "She was nearly nude and very tall. She wore golden breastplates and a broad golden belt, all set with pieces of jade and what looked like dark shining stones, not the dull glint of jade. When I say she was nude, I felt for a moment I had made a mistake. Mind you, she was no more than seventy-five feet from my hiding place and I could see every detail plainly. Was she wearing a fur suit of a golden red colour? Her face, both broad and high-cheekboned, was an ochre or red tinted with bronze and as smooth as any baby's. Only then did I see the fur 'suit' was nothing but her own lovely pelt, of a dense but close-clipped hair, body hair, you know. I could see her glorious eyes plainly as she faced the Sun; narrow and long though they were, they were a blazing brownish tint."

  The Brigadier paused here and looked off across the big room. He was plainly lost in memories and we all sat waiting. Then he took a d
eep breath and went on.

  "Her hair, combed back straight, was straight itself and went to just above her waist. It was a reddish gold and shimmered in the sun. With her size and blazing good looks and coloring, she looked like the living figurehead of some ancient, royal ship, absolutely staggering!

  "That, gentlemen, was my first sight of Fayuna, the glorious, lost queen of Conhung-At'lantz, and mind the last half of that place name.

  "But though George Hooper and I had been simply gawping in total amazement, the real hunter among us had been thinking and moving. Lucas' head popped up right under my nose, silently as an eel's. 'Watch all behind her,' he purred. 'I think she take bath. In the watah, I get her quiet like and bring her here.'

  "I could only nod and he vanished again under overhanging leaves while George and I took up our watch, though I don't think we'd have noticed anything short of a mad, pink elephant. Our male eyes were set hard on one thing only.

  "Surely enough, the glorious young avatar of womanhood, and I could see by many indications, including her movements, that she was young, had come for a bathe. She only took one thing off. That gold belt and the jewel-studded gold bra were hardly clothing, but she unhooked the breast plates, laid them on the bank and stepped into the shallows, waded deeper and began to swim in our direction as it got deeper. She wasn't much of a swimmer and it was nothing but what we'd call a 'dog paddle', but it was slow and graceful even so.