In the barn, Rachel and her siblings were anxiously waiting for her in the loft.
“Lotte! I was worried about you. What did Irmhild say?” Rachel asked.
“I have wonderful news.” Lotte cast a triumphant smile and rose to her full height of five feet seven. “There’s a Catholic convent that will accept the four of you in their orphanage.”
She hadn’t even finished pronouncing the word orphanage when little Mindel screamed, “We’re no orphans! We need no orphan place! I want to go home!”
Rachel’s shoulders sagged, a petrified expression on her face as she quickly shushed her little sister. “Sweetie, don’t cry. Remember we’re playing hide and seek? Nobody can know we’re here.”
Mindel did her best to dry her tears but continued to sob in a low voice while her two older brothers exchanged glances, clearly indicating they didn’t buy into the hide-and-seek game. They had the bodies of elementary school lads, but their eyes showed the knowing look of adults. Lotte’s heart squeezed.
“Will we get food from the nuns?” Aron asked.
“There will be plenty of food,” Lotte reassured him, but she barely managed not to break into tears herself. The past few years had been brutal on everyone, but just how much more had these children suffered? Mockery. Ostracism. Hunger. And now the loss of their parents and their home.
She took Rachel aside so the others couldn’t hear. “The sooner you leave, the better. Wait until all the lights in the main house are turned off, and then go.”
“How far is it?” Rachel asked.
“Twenty miles. It’s in Kaufbeuren. I know it seems like a long way, but during the night, you can walk on the road, and no one will bother you. You should be able to reach the convent at daybreak.”
“Mindel will never be able to walk that far. I’ll have to carry her most of the way,” Rachel murmured.
Lotte wanted to offer her bicycle, but that would cause plenty of questions. “You should be fine by the time you have passed the neighboring villages. Beyond that, nobody will know you. And with your papers, you’re just another group of children seeking refuge.”
“I have been to Kaufbeuren before and know where the convent is. I can’t thank you enough, Lotte.” Rachel hugged her, tears of gratitude in her eyes. “Thank you so much.”
“I’m glad I could help. Please be safe and live a happy life. Maybe you can send me a postcard once the war is over?” Lotte released herself from the embrace and climbed down the ladder to milk the cows.
It was already dark by the time she finished milking the last one, and exhaustion pulled at her. She strained the milk and then sent a final look and well wishes back into the barn. Go with Godspeed!
Then she returned to the house, carefully navigating in the darkness. She rounded the hedge, her eyes fixed on the lit windows when someone stepped out of the shadows and into her path.
“Ah!” she screamed in fright. “Who’s there?”
A moment later, she recognized Hans blocking her way. Her heart sank to her knees. Goodness, I hope he’s not here to demand another kiss. Gathering up all her courage, she said, “Hans, you scared me.”
“Did I?” Hans sneered at her and took a step forward, whispering into her ear, “I told you that you would regret not being nice to me.” When he stepped aside, she noticed two more men standing behind him, and even more beyond.
“Uwe, is that you? What are you doing here?” Her voice almost broke with fear. The way Uwe stood, looking as if he wished to be anywhere but here, caused her breath to catch in her throat. Her eyes darted to the big person taking a step toward her, and she recognized Hans’ father. His menacing stance made one thing clear: this wasn’t a social call.
Her eyes returned to Uwe, silently begging him for help, but he looked away.
Traitor! Miserable piece of scum.
“Fräulein Klausen, I was informed that suspicious things are happening on this farm and I’m here to get to the nub of the matter.”
Lotte trembled with fury and fear, but before she could say anything, Herr Keller shoved her aside and started walking up the same path she’d just come down, several of his minions joining him as they searched the barn. Hans and Uwe followed. Lotte wanted to run into the house and hide her head under a pillow, but to what avail? Maybe she could talk the mayor into letting the Epstein children go?
Some ten minutes later, Herr Keller and the other men exited the barn dragging the four children between them. Loud cries filled the air, but after one of the men slapped Rachel and threatened to shoot them there and then, the screams quieted down to small whimpers.
There was nothing Lotte could do but watch in horror as the four children were dragged away, talk of deportation and filthy Jews filling the air. Uwe appeared by her side, giving her an apologetic glance. But apart from that small gesture, he did nothing but stand by and watch.
Filthy coward.
When Hans returned with a disgusting grin, Lotte couldn’t keep her rage at bay for one moment longer. “You bastard. It’s all your fault. Sending innocent children away!” She raised her fists, drumming them against his chest. He caught her hands with a dirty chuckle and held them high over her head. Lotte struggled. “You…you filthy…wimp. You aren’t even man enough to go off to war. Everyone in our class got drafted, but not you. What did your hideous father do, pull some special strings to keep Mummy’s darling at home?”
A hard slap to her face ended Lotte’s rant. She rubbed her cheek and stared in shock at Hans’ father, who’d probably heard her entire tirade.
“Watch your mouth,” he growled.
“You have no right to treat me like this,” she spat at him.
“Actually, I do,” the mayor answered. “Wait and see.” Then he turned to his son. “Bring her along as well.”
Hans caught her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of flour, and despite Lotte’s kicking, punching, and scratching, he carried her towards the police automobile parked in front of her aunt’s house.
“You can’t take me away. I haven’t done anything!” she screamed in the faint hope that someone – anyone – would come to her rescue.
“I’m arresting you just because I can,” the mayor said. “I hope it will prove a valuable lesson to you.”
Valuable lesson? Damn Nazi vermin. For once, she managed to keep her mouth shut, struggling in earnest to free herself from Hans’ grip. But the more she struggled, the tighter he held her, his grip growing stronger until she could barely breathe.
“I warned you, Schätzchen,” Hans whispered in her ear before shoving her into the back seat.
Lotte thought she caught a glimpse of a shadow in one of the upstairs windows, but she couldn’t be sure. Even if Aunt Lydia had seen her, what could she do? Lotte was too angry to cry, but she knew the tears would come later.
Chapter 12
The police station in Mindelheim possessed only one holding cell, for which Lotte was grateful. At least she wasn’t alone in the dank, dirty cell with bars on the windows and door.
As miserable as her situation was, at least she shared it with Rachel and her siblings. Lotte sank to the floor, her arms around her legs, her head hidden between her knees. She didn’t want to see or hear anything. Not the threadbare woolen blankets lying on the single cot. Not the moss growing in the cracks on the wall. And definitely not Rachel’s quiet but desperate voice trying to comfort her younger brothers and sister.
Rachel had given each of them a blanket and was now talking Mindel and Aron into lying down to sleep. So far, it wasn’t working, and Lotte couldn’t blame them. She raised her head and looked through the iron bars into the hallway. The cell was located in the basement of the police station, with no sounds coming through the thick ceiling.
This is all my fault. I should never have trusted Uwe, she scolded herself, sniffling to hold back her tears. Crying wouldn’t do anyone any good, and she didn’t want to scare the children even more. Lost in thought, she star
ted at the sound of the heavy iron door leading upstairs opening and closing, then footsteps coming down the hall. Instinctively, she crouched closer against the wall.
Hans appeared on the other side of the iron bars. Despite hating him with a passion, she felt a sliver of relief that it wasn’t his father or one of the Nazi officers.
“Not so high and mighty now, are we?” he sneered at her.
“Hans, there’s been a terrible mistake. Please help us get out of here.”
He shook his head and took a step toward her. “It’s too much fun to see you suffering for what you’ve done to me.”
“I haven’t done anything,” she burst out.
“Well, you humiliated me in front of my father.” Hans grimaced and gestured for her to come to the bars.
Lotte hesitated but then obeyed. It wouldn’t do any good to infuriate him any more. When they stood facing each other, only separated by metal bars, he said, “Do you know what they do to traitors? All of those awful rumors the teachers told us not to believe…well, they’re true. You’re going to get a chance to experience them firsthand. Unless…”
Lotte wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to keep the images away that were storming her mind. Medical experiments gone awry, hangings, torture, and human beings treated worse than animals. A violent shudder shook her body, and she had to grab the metal bars with both hands to steady herself. She closed her eyes to fight the bile rising in her throat. After several deep inhalations, she opened her eyes again to see that Hans had unlocked the cell door and slipped in beside her.
“Hans?”
“It doesn’t have to be like this, you know?” He pushed her against the stone wall and caged her in, putting his palms against the wall on either side of her head and moving his body in so close that she touched his chest with each breath she took.
Lotte thinned her lips to stop from screaming and tried to move away from him, but he buried a hand in her hair and held her in place.
“Let me go,” Lotte begged.
“You want your freedom? I can make it happen. You just have to be nice to me.” Hans looked over his shoulder where Rachel stood, protecting her younger siblings from witnessing the scene. “You, come over here,” he demanded.
Rachel shuffled across the small cell. Hans reached out and grabbed her breast when she was close enough, causing Rachel to cry out in alarm and revulsion. Lotte pushed against him. “Let go of her! You have no right to molest her.”
Hans laughed and squeezed Rachel’s breast again before ripping her dress down the front. “Let’s see what goods you have to offer. Maybe I can convince my father to go easier on you as well.”
When Rachel tried to back up, he said in a low voice, “Stand still, or maybe you’d rather I amuse myself with one of them?” He nodded towards her siblings, who were huddled together in the corner, trying not to make any noise as tears streamed down their faces.
Red-hot rage coiled in Lotte’s veins, and she attacked him with all her strength. He let go of Rachel and turned his attention to her. His half-amused expression vanished when she spat in his face.
Hans raised his hand and slapped her across the face so hard, she fell to the floor.
Lotte clasped her cheek, tasting blood as it trickled from the corner of her mouth. Her head was spinning, her eyes watering, and she watched helplessly as Hans took a threatening step towards her.
“Hans! Get out of there!” Herr Keller barked.
“Rot in hell, Lotte!” Hans kicked at her before he slammed out of the cell and pulled the door shut.
Lotte pushed herself to sit, expecting the mayor to scold his son.
“You’re nothing but trash. A dog deserves better treatment than you do,” Herr Keller lashed out at her with a crimson face. “Judenfreund. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a Jew yourself.”
Lotte shook her head in disbelief.
“I’ll investigate that point, and if I find any Jewish blood in you or your aunt, she and her brood will be joining the rest of the scum on one of the deportation trains.” Herr Keller turned to Hans. “Get on home and leave this filth alone.”
They left, leaving their prisoners in the dark, the only sliver of light coming from the moon through the bars on the window. Lotte was shivering when Rachel slipped an arm around her and led her over to the cot.
“I’m so sorry,” Lotte murmured. “I didn’t want to cause any harm to my aunt or cousins. I just wanted to help.”
“It’s not your fault.” Rachel hugged her tight. Two frightened girls in a dark cell.
But it is. Everything’s my fault. For acting rashly and opening my stupid mouth before thinking. How often has Mutter warned me?
“I should have let Hans have his way…” she murmured into the dark. “Maybe if I’d let him kiss me…told him he’s a nice fellow but I’m too young to do more than hold hands. I should have sweet talked him instead of punching him.”
“Stop it,” Rachel said. “It’s no use blaming yourself for what happened. It just makes things worse.”
A little body snuggled up against Lotte, and she lifted Mindel onto her lap. The little girl pressed against her chest, wrapping her arms around her for warmth. Lotte looked over to see Rachel doing the same with Aron. Ten-year-old Israel laid his head in her lap, and Rachel occasionally ran her fingers through his hair in a comforting gesture.
When all three children were finally asleep, Rachel looked at Lotte with tears in her eyes. “What will happen to us? And to you?”
“I don’t know,” Lotte whispered, her tears breaking all dams and rushing down her face. They both sat on the floor, their backs leaned against the wall, their shoulders touching, seeking the comfort of being close to another person. They stayed like that as the hours slipped away, neither of them sleeping or talking, simply sitting in silence.
Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Lotte bolted straight up as the sound of steps walking towards their cell reached her ears. She nudged Rachel and pointed towards the door, her eyes straining in the darkness to see who was there.
When a light illuminated Uwe’s face, Lotte opened her mouth to scream at him, but he put a finger to his lips and whispered, “Shush. I’m here to get you out.”
Lotte was stunned into silence and stared at him bug-eyed as he unlocked the cell door and then stepped inside, relieving Lotte of the sleeping child on her lap.
“Don’t just sit there. Let’s go,” Uwe whispered, nudging her to stand up. The touch of his fingers on her upper arm sent life back into her body – and shame.
Rachel woke up her brothers, and they followed Uwe upstairs to the police station, where he carefully hung the cell keys on their hook again. Then they snuck out the front door, ducking into the shadows of the night, becoming one with the wall of the building.
Uwe motioned for them to follow him and led them across the harvested fields to the edge of the woods, carrying sleeping Mindel. Except for the shuffling of feet, they made no sound, barely daring to breathe.
Once they reached the road leading to Kaufbeuren, he stopped and set Mindel down. Only half awake, she clung to Rachel’s leg. Uwe pointed south. “Go. All of you. As fast as you can and don’t stop until you’ve reached the convent.”
“Uwe…” Rachel said, but he shook his head and stepped back.
“You have to hot foot it.”
Lotte’s faced burned with shame for how wrong she’d pegged him, and for how thoroughly she’d messed up. If it weren’t for her rash, self-righteous behavior, Hans would never have started his personal vendetta against her and caught the Jewish children in the process. It was about time she put the needs of others before hers.
“Uwe. I can never thank you enough for what you did, but I cannot go to the convent. The mayor will be looking for me, and since I don’t have fake papers like the others do, I would only endanger them.”
Uwe looked at her for a moment and then nodded in agreement. “Fine.”
Lotte hugged Rachel, Aron,
Israel, and Mindel one last time. “Good luck. Be safe.”
“Thank you for everything. If God allows, we’ll meet again after the war,” Rachel said, tears falling from her eyes.
“Goodbye.”
Chapter 13
Lotte watched them until they had disappeared in the dark and then turned to Uwe. “Now what?”
“Come with me,” he answered and set off into the forest.
Lotte followed Uwe deeper and deeper into the trees, crawling up inclines or sliding down ravines, but constantly moving into foreign territory. She soon lost orientation, but every time fear snuck up on her, she glanced at Uwe’s broad shoulders in front of her and felt safe. By now, her new birthday dress was covered in dirt, as were her plimsolls. They turned out to be a blessing, protecting her feet from the sticks and stones that littered the forest floor. Just when she wanted to drop down in exhaustion, Uwe stopped in front of a small hut in a clearing that Lotte had never seen before.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“Deep in the woods. No one but my father and I know about this place, so you should be safe here.” His big hands hung loosely from his arms, his face a crooked smile.
He opened the door and lit a candle so that she could step inside. “It’s the best I could come up with.”
“It’s perfect.” Lotte smiled, although she was terrified at spending the night alone out here. Memories of the fairy tales her mother had read her when she was a child assaulted her brain. Hänsel and Gretel. Alone in the woods, tricked by the wicked witch. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Persecuted by the evil stepmother.
Why is the villain in the fairy tales always a woman, when in real life we have to fear the men? Men like Hans, his father, the SS men, Hitler himself.
The sound of Uwe clearing his throat brought her back to the present.
“Thank you for everything, Uwe. I guess you should return before anyone realizes you’re gone.”
War Girl Lotte Page 6