FILF_Fireman I'd like to...

by Savannah May

  Her eyes are close to terror as she looks towards the stairs. “Yeah, Daddy,’ she shouts. “Coming.”

  She squirms out from under me and I pull the cooler down. She takes it from me and nods towards the freezer on the back wall. “Grab the ice,” she whispers. I nod agreement and she turns and runs up the steps.

  I need to take a few minutes to wrap my head around what has just happened. How could I have done it? More importantly, how can I stop myself from doing it again? I rub my hands over my face and lean against one of the bags of ice before calming enough to be able to head back upstairs to face Livy and John.

  The rest of the afternoon is hell. I intentionally avoid her. But I can feel her eyes on me as I sit down and eat with the crew, as I listen to John tell stories and joke with the guys, as I glance over at her laughing with Reese, Ben, a few of the other guys. Every time I hear that tinkling laugh from her, every time my best pal John puts his arm around me, every time he slaps my back, every time he brags about me to one of the guys, I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.

  The guilt is eating me up. I want to get out of here. I need to go home. I need to process everything. I need to talk to Livy. I can’t do any of that because I can’t give John any reason to wonder or suspect anything.

  As soon as the sun starts to set, I grab a beer and make my way through the house to the front porch. I sit down on the porch swing, needing a minute to myself to think, away from the overwhelming sensation of being close to her. I have to figure out a way to apologize to Liv.

  I need to get her out of my mind and go back to doing my job and to being John’s best friend. But the problem is that I don’t want to do any of that. I want her. I may have to move to the other side of the world and even that wouldn’t be far enough away from her orbit.

  A few minutes pass. I drink the last of my beer and need another, my blood still raging hotly. Then I hear the storm door creak. I look up but I already know it’s Livy. The air somehow sparkles when she’s close, and takes on a sweet perfume. She’s changed into a pair of cut-off denim jeans shorts and an oversized sweatshirt.

  Thank fuck her body’s covered up now, not that that changes a thing. My mind, my cock, still have the image of that tiny bikini barely covering her sweetness firmly entrenched. Her beautiful blonde hair is falling in waves over shoulders. And again she takes my breath away.

  “What ya’ doing out here all by yourself?” She asks, smiling down at me. “I thought you might be empty.”

  I take the bottle of beer she is offering me, making sure not to graze fingertips with hers. Seriously? Fingertips?

  “Thanks. Just needed a minute,” I say.

  She pats my leg and electrified, I scoot over and she sits down next to me.

  “You out here freaking out because I kissed you?” She demands with a wide grin on her face.

  Well that’s definitely up front. It’s kind of refreshing from the usual chase-me coy games I’m accustomed to. Her eyes are dancing, laughing at me and her cheeks are pink. She’s so fucking adorable, I can’t take it.

  I chuckle, “Pretty much. Yeah.”

  She laughs that soft happy sound and my dick twitches.

  “That bad, huh?” She glances sideways at me as she takes a drink.

  “Huh?” I grunt, feeling like a dolt.

  She rolls her eyes, “The kiss? Was it that bad?”

  I can’t help but put my hand on her knee. Her tanned, toned, long legs are irresistible. Every part of her is completely addicitve and I can’t believe she doesn’t see that

  “No. Livy. It was perfect. Too perfect. That’s the problem.”

  She lets out a sigh, “My dad?” She moans.

  “Yeah - I can’t - It can’t happen.” I tell her as I draw lazy circles on her knee with my thumb.

  She looks up at me, her eyes reaching into mine as she whispers; “He doesn’t have to know.”

  It takes everything I have not to pull her into my arms and crush her into my chest. But I can’t. So I lift my hand from her knee and rub both over my rapidly incoming stubble.

  “I can’t do it, Livy.” It’s about the hardest thing I’ve ever said. “He’s my best friend. We don’t have secrets. The job Liv, you know, this is the kind of thing that could get one of us killed up on the mountain. We can’t have secrets between us.”

  I watch her nod her head and see her hand rumble as she takes a drink of her beer. I hate myself and all I want is to take back the words. My eyes focus on her throat as she swallows down her emotion. If I sit next to her another minute, I know my tongue is going to be running down it. With every effort I stand up and put my hand on top of her head to brush her silken hair out of her face.

  “I’m sorry, Livy,” I grit out. “I’m gonna go say goodnight to your dad. I have an early morning.”

  She nods her head rapidly and looks away as she takes another sip of beer. I feel like shit. Walking away from her is just about the hardest thing I’ve done in a very long time.

  5

  Olivia

  I wait until I hear him go out the back door before I head back to my bedroom and fall on the bed. A tear slips out of the corner of my eye and rolls heavily over my cheek before plopping from my jawline. It’s crazy that I’m so upset. It was one kiss. But what a kiss it was, like no other I’ve ever had.

  Of course, it wouldn’t have been that way for Carter. He must have kissed a million women. But I could have sworn he was feeling the same way I was. The way he crushed my body against him until we were molded perfectly together, then wrapped his arms around me a little more, as though he couldn’t get close enough. Christ, I’m so embarrassed. He must think I’m an idiot. At least I know now that it’s never going to happen. I can move on.

  I should really get back to the party, at least be out there with Reese, but I can’t do it. I need a minute to process. Besides that, Reese and Ben had started hitting it off when I left him to go find Carter. For sure he’ll come find me if he needs me. I just want to be alone, if I can’t be with Carter.

  My phone rings and sends my tummy skittering. I roll over, noting how my heart has lodged into my throat and pull it out of my back pocket. It goes swiftly plummeting when I see that it’s Jonathan.

  Argh. Who else would it be? Carter doesn’t even have my number. I groan and throw my head back on the bed. May as well get it over with. I swipe to answer.

  “Hey, Jonathan,” I say, way too perky, sounding false.

  “Hey, babe, what’s up?” He replies, so smarmy I can’t help cringing. “You still got a party going on over there?”

  “Nah. It’s winding down. What’re you doing?”

  “Thinking about you.”

  Ugh.

  “Listen, Jonathan, I know we’ve been out a few times, but I don’t want to mislead you. I’m not looking for anything serious right now, what with just coming home from college. I’ve got so much to focus on. You’re a cool guy, but I don’t see us being anything more than friends.”

  I have to stop to take a breath. Silence. I’m waiting for him to respond. But there’s just silence and I think he disconnected. “Jonathan, are you still there?”

  He lets out a huffy sigh. “Yeah. I’m still here. I’m just a little surprised, I guess. I thought we were hitting it off.”

  I clear my throat. “Jonathan, look I’m sorry. I just don’t—”

  “Is this about the thing at the pool today and your little friend Reese,” He interrupts me. I hate the way he calls him my 'little friend’. “Because I was just playing around.”

  “No, Jonathan, it’s not about that.” Time to be crystal clear. “It’s just I don’t have any feelings past friendship. I like you. You’re a cool guy, but just as a friend.”

  He’s quiet for a minute, the suddenly announces; “It’s all good, Liv. I’m cool with being friends.” My relief lasts barely an instant when he adds; “Hey, do you still want to go on a hike up to your cabin next week?”

  I try not to let out
an audible groan. “Jonathan, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

  “So you want to be friends, but you don’t want to hang out?”

  I don’t know why, but I feel bad. I did just tell him that I wanted to be friends. How do I blow him off totally? “No, you’re right. It’ll be fun. Let’s hike up to the cabin next week. I’ll text you in a few days, okay?”

  “Sounds good Liv. Have a good night.”

  “Night Jonathan,” I say right as I end the call.

  Just then, Reese bursts in the door with a flurry of energy. “Olivia Mitchell. What are you doing in here? You missed all the fun!”

  He bounds over then falls back on the bed beside me and turns his head to throw me a cheesy grin.

  I can’t help but smile back at him. Reese always has a way of cheering me up when I’m blue. Plus I can see he’s happy about something and I don’t want to spoil his fun with my pouting. “I’ve been busy breaking up with Jonathan,” I tell him.

  “Really? I’m so happy for you Liv!” He says, smiling and clapping his hands.

  I roll my eyes. “Don’t be so enthusiastic,” I say, through a desperate attempt not to laugh. “I told him I’d go hiking with him next week.”

  He furrows his brows and sits on his knees to glare at me. “How is it you manage to break up with a guy and make a date with him all in the same phone call?”

  “I told him I wanted to be friends,” I say. “We’re going hiking as friends. Just friends.”

  He lets out an exasperated sigh.

  “Liv. Be careful with that guy. I don’t know why, but I’ve got a bad feeling and you know I’m usually right about these things.”

  I pat him on the head. “It’s all good blondie. I trust you gayer but Jonathan’s harmless. One friend date, then I’ll blow him off for good.”

  He grins and jumps off the bed.

  “Okay enough about you, let’s talk about me. Which shirt should I wear tomorrow?” He asks pulling two out of his duffle bag.

  I laugh. “Why does it matter? You’re leaving to go back to Sacramento in the morning. I’m pretty sure either will be fine for the bus ride home.”

  He grins at me, then takes a stance, hands clasped looking up at a starry night sky. “You have the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

  “You’re losing me here,” I say, trying not to laugh.

  “That’s a quote,” he says. “A quote from Ben, the hot fireman. Right before he offered to take me to the bus station in the morning. Now, which shirt makes my eyes look bluer?”

  I jump up off the bed and hug him. We’re both jumping up and down and screaming like we’ve just been the next contestants picked to be on ‘The Price is Right.’

  I fall back on the bed laughing. “Definitely the one on the left.”

  He smiles, “You are so right.”

  “Okay, enough about me, let’s talk about you. Tell me how long you’ve been in love with Carter Tyson.” He falls back on the bed and looks at me, his eyes pummeling into me so I get the idea he won’t hear any excuses.

  I groan and roll over and feel my eyes tearing up. I can’t look at Reese if I’m going to talk about it. “Since I was sixteen.”

  I feel Reese scratching my back and it’s so comforting. He wants me to keep going.

  “Of course, I knew then I was too young. But I swear when I saw him tonight, I thought there might be something there. It’s stupid. I’m stupid. He’s never going to think of me like that. And even if he did, my dad…it just couldn’t ever work.”

  “First, do not ever say you’re stupid because you’re aren’t and anyway, as you say so you are. Second, I’m telling you right now you weren’t wrong about him. The way he looked at you Liv, he wants you.”

  I shake my head. He doesn’t understand the guy code at my dad’s work.

  “I don’t think you’re giving your dad enough credit,” he says, reading my thoughts like always. “He’s cooler than you think. Maybe you could just talk to him about it.”

  I moan louder with a face plant into my pillow. “I couldn’t ever do that. It would put Carter in a really awkward position with him. It doesn’t matter anyway because I really don’t think he’s interested.”

  Reese pulls on my arm and rolls me over so that we’re facing each other.

  “You’re wrong Liv. You need to go for it if you want it. Hello - YOLO. I always knew there was a guy at home holding you back. And like I told you, as you say, so you are so start thinking positive and go get that man.” He gives me a really big smile and I can’t resist returning it. “It works for me,” he grins. “And think how cool it would be if we were both dating Hotshots. We could double date and compare hose size.”

  I let out a squeal and hit him. “It always comes down to that with you, doesn’t it?”

  He laughs and shrugs as though that’s normal. Then a knock sobers me up and I roll over. Dad is standing in my open doorway knocking gently against the door frame. I can feel my face turn red. Oh Jesus, did he hear us? Does he know we were talking about Carter?

  “Hey pumpkin, I just came to say goodnight,” he says with a smile at me that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you guys need anything before I go to bed?”

  “No, we’re good, thank you Dad,” I say brightly. “Night Dad. Love you.”

  He turns and walks down the hallway. “Love you too, kiddo.” I hear him call over his shoulder.

  6

  Carter

  It’s been exactly one week since I kissed Livy. One week I’ve spent completely obsessed, thinking about her non-stop. I think about how perfect she felt in my arms. I think about how perfect she tasted and how I wanted to taste every last inch of her delectable body.

  As soon as I got home from the cookout last week, I stripped down and fell into bed. I was so wound up, my cock was rock hard and oozing before I even put my hand around it. As I gripped the shaft, I imagined pushing myself into her tight little pussy at just the right angle. I furiously pumped my burning steel and imagined what it would feel like to have Livy implied in it, to watch her come apart all over my cock.

  It was mere seconds before I released my load all over my chest. I can’t even remember the last time I came that hard and had to get right in the shower. I’ve jacked off every night since then, thinking about her. Fuck! She’s messing with my head. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop.

  And Jesus, that’s not even the worst of it. Ashley Blackman showed up at my house last night with some fucking nasty chicken casserole.

  “I thought you might be hungry,” she purred, leaning against the door jamb with a provocative lick of her fat lips.

  For a firehouse chick, Ashley’s a decent fuck. So, when I saw her standing at my door in her black leather mini skirt with her tits hanging out of a barely-there blouse, I figured she was the answer to my Livy problem. I made the mistake of letting her in.

  As soon as she had her hand on my cock, which was one instant after she set the casserole dish down on the counter, I knew I was wrong. Nothing happened. My dick just laid there, refusing to play with any mate but the one it’s become obsessed with. I’m ruined for good.

  “What is it, baby?” Ashley whined, rubbing her tits against my chest.

  “Nothing,” I gruffed.

  I managed to pry her off me and made some sort of excuse about an early training drill. She wasn’t pleased when I bundled her out the door.

  Besides the fact that my dick is apparently not working for anyone but my best friend’s barely legal daughter, John has hardly spoken to me all week long. He switched my shifts around so that we’ve barely worked together. Anytime that I’ve texted him about anything that’s not work-related, he’s completely ghosted me.

  We usually grab a meal or a couple of beers two or three times a week, but so far there’s been nothing but radio silence. I can’t help but wonder if this is about Livy. Except he was perfectly fine when I left the party last week. Surely she wouldn’t have said anything.

/>   I leave my house three hours before my shift today so as to avoid sitting around and worrying about what a shit-show my life has become since I ran into Livy Mitchell again. But apparently, that was not such a great idea. Because now I’m in my truck, semi-deranged, driving around town aimlessly, obsessing about all of it.

  I glance up and realize that I’ve driven all the way out of town to the base of the mountain without a clue where I’m headed. I pull into the parking area and climb out of my truck to stretch. Soon as I look up, the hackles go up my spine and I know something’s not right. I look over to the south side of the mountain and see smoke billowing above the treetops.

  That’s okay - a controlled burn was scheduled for this morning. The order came down from D.C. which is not that uncommon as a means to prevent wildfire. If you burn off a large enough area of vegetation to create a clearing, that will halt any out of control flames on either side of it from spreading.

  But there are risks involved because fire is something not at al easy to control. I don’t like that this is happening at the base of our mountain and even less do I like that our crew wasn’t chosen for the job. The Diamond Mountain guys are in charge of the RB. They’re good guys and competent, but shit can still happen when you’re starting a fire that big.

  Still I have this niggling feeling something’s all wrong. As I look up and realize what time it is and clock the amount of smoke cascading in the air, I immediately know something has gone wrong. When I turn and look to the north and see more smoke, I jump in my truck and start heading up the access road. I need to get a better idea of what’s going on.

  I grab my cell and realize that I’ve missed six calls from John.

  7

  Olivia