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Premortal Page 11

by Damien Passmore

31 justice

  It was their mother that they found first, teaching some of her sons and daughters close to her home. They waited for her to finish, though Michael particularly felt a level of agitation as he waited. Once she had finished they approached her. Michael spoke first, unable to constrain himself a moment longer.

  ‘Mother, we have come to discuss something very serious. Kieran and Johan have just been attacked!’

  ‘What do you think should be done about it, my son?' she asked calmly.

  ‘The perpetrators should be identified and punished!’ he demanded.

  ‘Do you know who they are, Michael?’ asked the matriarch with a hint of firmness.

  ‘No I don’t, but don’t you, Mother?’ enquired Michael.

  ‘Yes I do, but your Father and I will allow them to reveal themselves, which they ultimately will do.’

  ‘Why not reveal them now, Mother, so that they can be disciplined?’ asked Samuel, in a tone that indicated that he simply wanted to understand the reasoning of one whom he trusted implicitly.

  ‘Samuel, while you do not yet see it, the manner in which this plays out is vital to your progress, and the progress of all of our children. For this reason the spirits who have performed this deed, and who will perform worse deeds yet, will be permitted to continue until all have made their choice,’ their mother explained.

  ‘Aren’t despicable actions such as this an offense against the principle of agency that require immediate attention?’ asked Michael, still unconvinced.

  ‘No Michael, due to the innocence of our children, the operation of agency to date has primarily fostered good choices and a sound preparation for life on earth. We have, however, reached a critical inflection point where some will now choose evil. While we will set some bounds to the operation of their agency, in keeping with the principles of our Kingdom, the negative implications of their choices will largely be suffered until all have made their choice. Then those that are unfit to be here will have to endure their fate.’

  ‘Aren’t they already unfit to be here?’ questioned Michael, more calmly but still somewhat incensed by what had happened to his brothers.

  Mother turned directly to Michael and addressed him gently.

  ‘Michael, each of the spirits in the Kingdom is currently under the protection of our plan. Once the final vote has occurred, only those that choose not to rebel against us will continue to be offered that protection.’

  Each of the four understood, in part, what was taught and it was enough to appease them.

  ‘What are we to do then, Mother? Johan enquired.

  ’Johan, you should continue the work that you have started. Your motivations and your methods are sound, and anything that you must endure whilst doing that work will only strengthen you for the times that are to come,’ she counselled.

  Alright Mother, we understand,’ said Johan, following which all four sons embraced their mother and left, still feeling a little disappointment as it is natural to desire immediate justice when a significant wrong has occurred.

  32 masias

  Masias once had some good qualities but he was rotting from the inside out and there wasn’t a great deal that was positive remaining. To each of the meetings to which Troy had invited him, he had come. He had accepted Troy’s arguments that he should move to the outer regions of the Kingdom as it was more ‘fun’, and had persuaded his female companion to move with him.

  Masias had been, on account of a special favour from Troy, one of the first permitted to watch the dark works that were performed on the earths. His initial dismay at what he saw gave way to acceptance, which gave way to enjoyment, and ultimately evolved into a desire to participate. It was war that excited Masias the most. Ironically he was a coward by nature, but he saw in aggression and cruelty a way to obtain great power, and perhaps even a way to convince himself that he wasn’t a coward. Conquering, murder and torture became the lusts that possessed his soul.

  As these desires took hold, any gentleness in his being subsided until he became entirely cold. Cruelty of words and acts replaced any kindness of nature. While he had some vague perception of the darkness that was entering his soul, he did not notice the close correlation between the level of that darkness and the extent of his misery.

  Not all who ‘loved’ Masias were as supportive of his newfound way of life, and the associated qualities. His girlfriend was increasingly becoming a drag. She nagged him about attending classes on virtues. She asked him to be kinder and to speak to her nicely. She questioned whether Troy was having a positive influence on him, and she regularly requested that he move back with her to the other end of the Kingdom. Had he adopted any of these suggestions it would have had a positive effect on him, and also upon his level of happiness, nevertheless he dismissed the suggestions angrily.

  On this particular day, Troy and Masias had borrowed some earthly footage so that they might enjoy it in private. This afforded them a better opportunity to observe the truly vile and also to discuss it openly. Watching the material with those who were new to their cause was a pain because the newcomers had to be eased into evil. In addition, the experienced members couldn’t risk being candid about their enjoyment of the depravity that they were observing. Masias was less interested in the rebel cause than was Troy, however he begrudgingly followed the protocols in regard to enlisting new recruits, principally because it was important to his friend.

  Having watched a barbarous earthly dictator torture and murder those who opposed him, Troy and Masias had temporarily had their fill. Silence pervaded for a brief time after the projection had stopped, as both spirits allowed the gore to wallow in their mind. It was Troy who broke the silence.

  ‘On earth I plan to do those types of things and I believe I can think of worse yet.’

  ‘Yes, I think he killed them too quickly and much too mercifully,’ agreed Masias. ‘There was much more that could have been done first,’ he observed with disappointment.

  ‘Increasingly, this Kingdom is becoming a hideous bore, with all of its rules and regulations,’ complained Troy.

  Masias needed little encouragement.

  ‘Why don’t we just disobey the laws and hurt someone?’ he asked.

  ‘Masias, you know we must be careful. Once the laws have been amended we will have greater freedom, but until then we must tread carefully or risk jeopardising our cause,’ said Troy, regretting that he had ever told Masias that there was a way for one spirit to hurt another. Lucifer had sworn his counsellors to secrecy on this point but Troy had made an exception for Masias.

  ‘Are you sure that this slowly but surely approach is the way to go?’ Masias asked.

  Having watched earthly tyrants take what they wanted by force he wondered if that approach wouldn’t work within the Kingdom. His ignorance knew no bounds and for this reason he was dangerous.

  ‘There will be plenty of time for force, if we are not successful at first, but initially I agree with Lucifer that we should try and secure the amendments slowly and carefully,’ Troy assured his eager comrade.

  ‘Well, it seems like a bore to me. Personally, I hope we don’t get the numbers, and that we are obliged to fight to secure victory,’ said Masias ruefully.

  In saying this he did not envisage doing any of the fighting himself. Rather, he saw himself commanding from the rear and then taking the lead once victory had been secured, and any prisoners detained for interrogation and torture.

  Troy did not necessarily disagree that it would be more fun to take power by force, but he did not let on to his friend, considering that he didn’t need any further encouragement. He knew that the conversation had already run much too far and that, had his leader been privy to the discussion, he would have been absolutely furious. Troy changed the subject by suggesting that they watch some more before they were obliged to return the content to Lucifer. To this Masias eagerly agreed. As one seized by a filthy vice he was only ever satisfied for five minutes, after which time he needed to seek ne
w depths of depravity, as a means of filling the hole created by his absence of peace. They enjoyed these new depths and then Troy left, taking the content with him.

  33 crossroads

  After Troy had departed, Masias lay in his abode wallowing in the gore that they had just devoured. His reverie was soon disturbed by his ‘love’ however.

  ‘Masias, are you there?’

  Her voice was as fingernails upon the chalkboard of his soul.

  ‘Yes, what do you want?’ was his course reply.

  She had become used to his manners and simply continued as though she had been greeted and addressed in a warm and proper manner.

  ‘I was hoping that we might go to the other side of the Kingdom today to see some of our old friends,’ she said innocently and hopefully, desperately wanting the old Masias to appear.

  ‘No, they are all idiots and I have absolutely no desire to see any of them!’ he yelled from the bitterness of his soul, it being very difficult to transition from murder and torture to the rekindling of old friendships at a moment’s notice.

  ‘Masias, what are you saying? What about Grant and Ingrid, our closest friends? Surely you don’t mean it?’ she cried, distressed not only by his words but also by his vicious tone.

  ‘Of course I mean it. They are blind followers who don’t have an ounce of intelligence between them.’ His tone did not improve as he added to the initial insult.

  ‘Is that you speaking Masias, or is it Troy?’

  Her question cut him to the core and he exploded with a level of venom that exceeded anything that he had inflicted upon her before.

  ‘Why is it that you believe that I cannot think for myself? Just because you have the intelligence of an ant please don’t attribute the same capacity to me. I am perfectly able to make my own decisions. I can tell you right now that it is entirely my own assessment that our old friends are idiotic followers, and unfortunately I place you in precisely the same category. You seem to have no ability whatsoever to think for yourself, so you revert always to Father and Mother’s teachings.’

  ‘Masias, listen to yourself, have you completely lost your mind?’ she said, becoming extremely upset.

  ‘No I have not!’ he yelled. ‘You assume that our parents know what is best for us, but I put it to you that no one knows what is best for us more than we do.’

  His tirade, which was a clear window into his unbalanced state of mind, did not support his argument that he knew what was best for him. Still though, he continued. ‘I’m sick to death of being told how I can improve myself and that I'm not good enough for you. As far as I’m concerned you would be doing me an almighty favour if you would move back to the other side of the Kingdom and never bother me again!’

  His partner, Cindy, who had helped Kieran and Johan, did not respond to this barrage, she just turned and left with tears streaming down her cheeks.

  As she left, Masias knew that he had gone too far, but he assumed that he would soon have the opportunity to apologise, as he had done before, and that all would be forgiven.

  It must be understood that, prior to the self-destruction of Masias, Cindy had never heard an unkind work, much less had a barrage directed at her. It is possible to become partially immune to such demeaning language, if it is heard often enough, but in the case of Cindy, it sliced through her delicate soul leaving her deeply hurt. Although Masias had been working up to this level of cruelty, the severity of this last attack was almost too much for her to bear. Upset, confused and shaken she left that area of the Kingdom for the tranquillity of the outer forest, where she could be alone with her thoughts.

  She sat for many hours weeping and pondering, and when she was done, her mind was all but made up. Cindy was a tender soul, inherently charitable and kind, but she had already endured so much from the one that she loved. She, like all people, had a breaking point.

  Masias remained smugly in his abode, confident that she would come crawling back to him. When she had not returned after two days, however, his thought patterns gradually began to change. After three days he was concerned enough to leave his lair and he went to her place to make peace. Upon doing so, he was shocked to find that she had followed his counsel and moved back to their old area. It was at this point that a measure of panic began to take hold.

  Surely she had not taken him seriously. She must have known that he didn’t mean it. The beauty of her love, kindness and consideration flashed before his mind as does the life of a man who is about to lose his. He pictured his future without her and he went cold. He left immediately for the other side of the Kingdom to reclaim his love.

  No longer was she annoying, no longer was she painful, her nagging was wise counsel. The loving affection that she had so desired, he was now willing to give. He travelled with an urgency that his slothful soul was not used to. Finding her was not easy. She was indeed with one of their old friends for comfort and support, as he had suspected, but not with one of the friends he would have expected her to visit.

  This was reflective of the fact that she did not want to be found. She was not merely trying to frighten him, she never wanted to see him again.

  Despite his fear and urgency, Masias was still confident of reclaiming Cindy now that he had found her.

  ‘Cindy, how are you?’ he asked, calmly and quietly, in complete contrast to the last time they had been together.

  ‘I’m alright,’ she responded.

  ‘I was surprised that you left our part of the Kingdom,’ he said.

  ‘You asked me to, Masias,’ countered Cindy.

  He noted a level of coolness in her reply that he had not heard before, and certainly didn’t like.

  ‘When will you be coming back?’ he asked optimistically.

  ‘I won’t be, Masias,’ she replied firmly.

  ‘Come on Cindy, you have to know that I didn’t mean the things that I said, you just caught me in a bad mood,’ he assured her.

  ‘I’m afraid that, towards the end, I only ever seemed to catch you in a bad mood,’ she reminded him.

  The use of the word ‘end’ by Cindy reinforced what he had feared, and he moved to pleading with her.

  ‘Surely you can't think that we could ever be happy apart? We are made for one another. We are two parts of the one whole. Please come back with me and I will never act like that again. You will never hear another unkind word and you’ll be forever grateful that you gave me this chance.’

  Cindy knew that his promise was hollow. They had fought before and she had been given similar assurances. She knew that he would never disassociate himself from Troy and the other influences that were gnawing at his soul. Thus the bitter fruit that was the by-product of those influences would continue to spew consistently from the depths of his corrupted soul.

  It was true that Cindy didn’t actually know what it was that was corrupting Masias. She knew of the cause that Troy espoused, and understood that rebellion against Father and Mother was serious, however she suspected that there was more to it than that. Had she known of the cruelty that was developing within his soul she would have been even firmer in her decision, if that were possible.

  ‘Masias, I’m afraid I cannot agree that we were made for one another. As you well know we didn’t experience the same sort of initial vision that most do when they meet their true love. Nevertheless, I was willing to ignore that. I had become so tired of waiting and you seemed nice, and you were, but you have changed and I don’t believe that you have the desire or willpower to change back. Your support of Troy’s cause explains a part of your decay but I suspect that there is something more to it.

  ‘I have met with Mother and, while she has not told me which decision I should make in respect of our relationship, she has given me sound counsel that I have considered long and hard. Unfortunately, Masias, my mind is made up, I am ending our relationship.

  ‘Please know however, that this doesn’t mean that I don’t still care for you as a fellow soul. I plead with you to cease whatever
it is that you are doing as it is destroying you,’ she said emotionally.

  ‘The only way I will cease is if you come back and help me,’ he retorted.

  Due to the immensity of her soul, for one brief moment she contemplated returning in an attempt to save him. However, her logic overcame her charity as she realised that unless he was willing to change she could not help him.

  Cindy understood that if she was to assist Masias it would require an immense effort from him, and she was not at all confident that this effort would be forthcoming. Accordingly, she requested of him something that she suspected he would not give.

  ‘Masias, I will help you if you relocate back here and cease your association with Troy and the other spirits who have assisted in your decline,’ she said.

  While this may have seemed a difficult request, it was no more than what was required. It was absolutely crucial for Masias to disassociate himself from ‘the old crowd’. Cindy, by posing this question to Masias, revealed to him the pivotal crossroad of his entire existence. Indeed, in those few moments, her former love faced a destiny-changing decision point.

  Personal crossroads are crucial because they inevitably lead to either growth or demise. Some of these crossroads are the very beginnings of a path in the right direction or the wrong one. In the case of Masias, he had already set off in the wrong direction. Hence this crossroad was one that may have allowed him to correct his previous error. Unfortunately for Masias, the pathway following the making of a wrong choice tends to become gradually darker, and there are no street lights once all light has disappeared. At intervals, during his journey down the wrong path, Masias had arrived at new crossroads. As personal warning signs arose he could have used any one of these decision points to correct his course. Alas, he did not, so these junctures continued to pass by and darkness increasingly clouded his mind.

  When he set off on this path he didn’t actually intend to travel too far down it. He figured that he could just dabble a little and then come back. He realised, sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously, as he travelled more deeply down that road, that the pathway back was becoming increasingly more difficult. Rather than take action however, he began to question whether being back on that original path would really solve all of the problems and bitterness that had suddenly started to flow into his life. The road that Cindy’s love should have stayed on had been straight, while the road that he actually took had taken him to the left.

 

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