The Butcher's Theater

by Jonathan Kellerman

  “What kind of protekzia does he have?”

  “I don’t know.” In Daniel’s mind the bearish silhouette had pushed its way through the chain link, metal buckling and splitting open under the massive weight. Tiny bodies in the background, playing and whooping, unaware of the approaching monster. When the bodies took on faces, round and chubby-cheeked, with black curly hair, dusky skin, and Laura’s features, he put the image out of his head, found that he’d been clenching his fist so hard it ached.

  “Your new assignment,” he told Avi, “is to hook up with the Chinaman, do what he tells you.” The big detective was circulating around the Old City, combing the souqs and stalls and coffeehouses, walking every cobbled step of the dark, arched streets. Seeking out pimps and lowlifes, anyone who would talk, still looking for someone who’d seen Fatma or Juliet.

  “What does he need me for?”

  “He’ll inform you of that when you get there,” said Daniel. A bureaucrat’s answer—both he and Cohen knew it.

  Avi pouted, then just as quickly shrugged and smiled broadly, flashing even white teeth, blue eyes bouncing with mischief.

  “Sounds like an easy job, Pakad.”

  “Don’t count on it. Yossi’s got plenty of energy.”

  “Oh, yeah, I know, a real gever. But I’m no girl. I can keep up.”

  “Good for you,” said Daniel, wondering about the sudden change of mood, the return of the rich-kid arrogance. Cohen might have instincts, but he still needed taming. “Have fun.”

  Instead of leaving, Avi came closer.

  “What I’m saying is that it won’t keep me too busy.”

  “Are you complaining about the assignment?”

  “No, Dani,” grinned Avi, sounding inappropriately familiar. It was the first time he’d addressed Daniel by anything other than Pakad. “Terrific assignment, a real plum. What I’m saying, Dani, is that I’ll have plenty of energy left over. For extra work.” He held out his hands, waited expectantly.

  “No,” said Daniel. “Forget it. The orders came down from the top.”

  “Thing is”—Avi’s grin was wide—“there’s more than just work involved. I met this girl at Wolfson, rich, kind of pretty, parents live in South Africa. She goes to Hebrew U., lives in this terrific apartment all by herself. Great chemistry. Who knows, it could be true love.”

  “Mazal tov,” said Daniel. “Invite me to the wedding.”

  “True love,” repeated Avi. “No crime in visiting my little sweetie, is there? Playing tennis and swimming in the pool? No crime in the pursuit of love, is there?”

  “No,” smiled Daniel. “That’s no crime at all.”

  Cohen looked at his watch. “In fact, with the Pakad’s permission, I’ve got to run right now. Got a lunch date with her in a few minutes. Blintzes and iced tea, on her balcony.” More teeth. “Great view from that balcony.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  “No crime in lunch, is there?”

  “Get out of here,” said Daniel. “Call Yossi after you’ve eaten your blintzes.”

  Avi rubbed his hands together, saluted, and was off.

  As soon as the door closed, Daniel radioed the Chinaman. The connection was bad and they shouted at each other through a rain of static before Daniel told him to get to a phone. A few minutes later, the big man called; there was Arabic music in the background, the rattling of trays, a hum of voices.

  “Where are you, Yossi?”

  “Thousand Nights Café, just up from the Damascus Gate. Lots of eyes glued to my back. What’s up?”

  “How’s it going?”

  “Shitty—no one’s talking; everyone looks pissed off. They’re believing what they’re reading, Dani—all that Zionist conspiracy garbage. I’ve even heard rumors about a general strike to protest the killings. Man, you should see how they’re looking at me right now. It’s the owner’s phone—I sent him to serve coffee. Anyway, I spoke to the Border Patrol—they’re keeping a watch out. You might tell Latam to send out more undercover guys, just for good measure.”

  “Good idea. I called to tell you Cohen will be contacting you in a couple of hours. He’s assigned to you now. Keep him busy.”

  “What happened with the kid-raper?”

  “We’re off him, Laufer’s orders.”

  “Why the hell?”

  “Protekzia. Don’t say it. I know. Cohen thinks he’s ripe to do something sick—saw him looking at school kids.”

  “Wonderful,” said the Chinaman.

  “My kids’ school, in fact. I’ll be keeping an eye out, maybe dropping in to talk with the teacher, bring them lunch. Haven’t been involved enough lately anyway.”

  “Absolutely. Got to be a good daddy. When my little ox starts school, I’ll be involved too. Meanwhile, what do you want me to do with Cohen?”

  “He’s turning out to be a decent interviewer. Show him the ropes. If you think he’s up to it, give him a go at some of your lowlifes.” Daniel paused. “Of course, if you need to send him on errands, that’s okay too.”

  There was a longer pause; then the Chinaman laughed.

  “Long errands? Clear across town?”

  “Long errands are fine. He’s confident of his energy.”

  More laughter.

  “But if his energy runs out,” said the Chinaman, “you wouldn’t want me breaking his ass, nice kid like that. Forcing him to work a full shift if his frail little body just can’t keep up.”

  “Never,” said Daniel. “The current memo from Manpower says we must respect our officers. Treat them as if they were human beings.”

  “As if,” laughed the Chinaman. “Which means if he sneezes or blows his nose I should be careful not to overwork him, maybe even send him home for beddy-bye. We wouldn’t want little Avi to catch a fever.”

  “God forbid.”

  “God forbid,” laughed the Chinaman. “God forbid.”

  CHAPTER

  36

  The cat had been a big step forward, real science.

  He was twelve when it happened, well into sex thoughts, two years into heavy-duty jacking-off, the hair starting to grow out of his face, but no pimples like some of the other kids—he had good skin, clean.

  Twelve brought the noise in his head: sometimes just a hum, other times a race-car roar. All that bad machinery—he wondered how it got in there.

  When he jacked off it went away, especially when the sex thoughts got all combined with good pictures: blood; his bug experiments; her on Doctor’s lap, them screaming at each other, killing each other, but doing it.

  He imagined doing it to a girl on his lap—squeezing her eggs, hurting her, finishing her off, making everything clean. No girl in particular, lots of them. He invented them from different pieces of different girls—pictures in his head collected from magazines and movies and real girls that he saw on the street. All kinds, but the best ones were dark and short, like Sarah. Big tits and pretty mouths that screamed really good.

  Sarah had big tits now.

  She was in college, had come visiting last semester break, but with a boyfriend, some lame-o named Robert who was studying to be a lawyer and liked to hear himself talk. They slept in separate rooms. He knew why, had heard his mother screaming at Doctor that she wasn’t going to have any hook-nosed little slut fornicating in her house. But sometimes at night or early in the morning, Sarah got up and went to Robert’s room.

  Now there was something else to listen to.

  When Sarah visited, Doctor took her out every night. The fights in the library were postponed. When she left, they continued even worse—but only once in a while. Doctor wasn’t home much. Which made them kind of special.

  At twelve he’d gotten smarter, even though his grades were still the same. He understood more about life, could figure out some of the things that had mixed him up when he was a kid. Like what his mother and Doctor were doing when she climbed into his lap after they fought, stabbing herself and bouncing around, screaming and calling him a fucking kike ba
stard.

  What.

  But not why.

  The library fights gave him a giant hard-on. He carried tissues in the pocket of his robe.

  They were both lame fucks. He hated them, wished they’d die while they were doing it and leave him the house and all the money. He’d buy lots of good stuff, fire the maids and hire pretty girls with dark hair to be his slaves.

  She was always drunk now, every minute of the day. Tripping over her own feet when she got out of bed. The whole room stank of gin and bad breath. And she’d gotten all puffy and fat and dark around the eyes; her hair looked like dry straw. She was really had-out.

  Doctor didn’t give a shit about anything. He’d stopped pretending. Once in a while they ran into each other in the morning—he’d be waiting near the curb for the school bus and Doctor would drive up in his big soft car, coming home to pick up a change of clothes or something. He’d get out of the car, looking all embarrassed, say hello, stare at a bush or a tree or something, then walk on, not even bothering anymore with his bullshit questions about how school had been, was he making friends.

  Hello, son.

  Hello.

  Lame fuck.

  Both of them.

  She was a total zero, when she called for him now, he didn’t answer, just let her keep calling until she gave up. He was twelve, with hair, didn’t have to take any of her shit, her ass-breath and tits hanging out. She was too had-out to come after him, could barely keep her eyes open. He did what he wanted, probably had more freedom than any kid in the world. More than anyone.

  Except the cat.

  Usually it stayed up in the ice palace, eating human food and getting stroked and running its little pink tongue around the inside of the gin glass. Getting drunk and falling asleep on the big satin bed.

  Snowball. C’mere, sweetie.

  The only thing she bothered to take care of, washing and shampooing and combing out fleas with this little metal comb, then pinching them between her fingers and dropping them into a glass of liquid bleach. Once she asked him to empty the glass. He spilled it on the bathroom floor, let the fleas stay there on the tiles, little black freckles—he would have liked to see them on her face.

  After grooming sessions, the cat got special treats: these crackers that came from an expensive store and were made by a cat chef. The fish ones looked like fish, the beef ones like little cows; the chicken ones were the head of a chicken. She broke off little pieces, teased the cat with them while she blow-dried its fur and rubbed oil into it, put little pink ribbons on its stupid head.

  A boy cat, but they’d cut its balls off. Now it wore pink ribbons.

  A real faggy cat, fat and nasty. It lay on the bed all day, too drunk to walk, peed wherever it wanted to.

  But one night it walked.

  A special night: They were going at it in the library.

  He was listening on the stairs, not sure if they were going to do it afterward, not sure if he was going to jack off to reality or to thoughts, but prepared, wearing his bathrobe, with tissues in the pockets.

  They were really going at it.

  You cocksucking kike.

  Shut up, you dumb cunt.

  Borrring.

  They yelled some more, then he heard something break.

  Goddamn you, Christina, that ashtray was from Dunhills!

  Fuck you, Charles.

  Doctor said something, but mumbled it. He had to lean in closer to hear it.

  She yelled back.

  Borrring.

  More yelling, for a long time. Then it stopped. Maybe? Silence.

  Heavy breathing. All right!

  First time in a long time. He felt himself get a hard-on, tiptoed down the stairs, wanting to be as close as possible. Stepped on something soft and slippery, heard a sound that made his heart jump so hard it hurt his chest—like someone being strangled, but it wasn’t coming from the library. It was right here, right near him!

  He stood up. The soft thing was still squirmy under his foot, knocking around on the carpet. Felt a sharp pain in his ankle—something had scratched him!

  He backed away from it and looked down, feeling scared enough to pee his pajamas.

  The cat hissed at him and bared its claws. Its eyes were shining in the dark. He tried to kick it. It screamed again, jiggled up the stairs making little crying noises.

  What the hell was that!

  Nothing, Christina, forget it.

  That’s—it sounded like Snowball—ohmigod!

  It was nothing. Where do you think you’re going!

  He’s hurt! Snowball, honey!

  Oh, no, you don’t. You—

  Let go of me!

  —can’t start something and just—

  Let go of me, you bastard. I have to find him!

  I don’t believe this. Once a year you— Ow, dammit!

  A grunt. Padded footsteps.

  Fine, just stay the hell out, you dumb cunt!

  The footsteps got louder.

  Snowball!

  She was coming. He had to escape but his body was frozen. Oh, shit, he was caught. It was over. He was dead!

  Snowball! C’mere, sweetie!

  Move, feet, get unfrozen. Ohgod, finally they’re warm again . . . running . . . can’t breathe . . .

  Where are you, sweetheart?

  She was out of the library, moving drunkenly up the stairs. Calling for the cat, so maybe she wouldn’t hear him ten feet ahead of her, running, not breathing, pleasegod don’t let her hear . . .

  Here, darling, here, puss. Come-a-here! Come-a-here to Mama.

  He made it to his room just as she came to the top of the stairs, threw himself in bed, and pulled the covers over himself.

  Oh, Snowball-sweet, where are you? Don’t hide, sugarpuss. Mama’s got a treat for you!

  She was in her room, coming out of it now, half-calling, half-singing: Pu-uss!

  He was all wrapped up like the Mummy, grabbing the mattress to keep from shaking.

  Puss? Sweetie?

  He’d forgotten to close his door! She was coming near his room!

  Snowball!

  She was standing in the doorway. He could smell her, Bal à Versailles and gin. All of a sudden he had to hiccup. Holding it in was making his heart go crazy. He heard it swooshing in his ears, was sure she could hear it too.

  Now where’s my bad little boy?

  Hiding, sorry, never do it again, promise promise.

  C’mere, you bad boy.

  No anger in her voice. Oh, no! Oh, God!

  Bad little lover bo-oy!

  Saved. She wasn’t talking to him!

  Pu-uss!

  Swoosh, swoosh, like it was going to slide all the way up into his brain and start shooting blood all over the inside of his skull and he’d choke on it and die.

  She kept standing in the doorway, calling in that drunken, shaky, opera-singer voice. . . .

  Kissy, kissy, Snowball. If you’re hurt, Mama will make it all better!

  The roar in his head was louder than ever. He was biting down on his lip to keep the sound from coming out.

  Come-a-here! Mama’s got a treat for you—your favey-fave, tuna!

  The voice was far away, getting farther and farther. The danger had passed. A moment later she was saying Snowball! Sweetheart!, making disgusting, sloppy noises that let him know she’d found the fucking animal, was kissing it.

  Close call.

  It wouldn’t happen again.

  He waited eighteen days. By that time everything was planned, everything really good.

  Eighteen days because that’s how long it took for her to forget to lock her door.

  It was in the afternoon, he’d come home from school, eaten a snack, and gone up to his room. The maids were downstairs, blabbing and telling their foreign jokes and faking as if they were working.

  He was faking, too, sitting at his desk, pretending to be doing his homework. The door wide open, so he could hear the signal sounds: throwing up, the toilet flus
hing—a sign that she was getting rid of her afternoon pastries.

  She was doing that more and more, the barfing. It didn’t help—she was still getting fat and puffy. Afterward, she always drank more gin and fell deep asleep. Nothing could wake her.

  He waited, really patient. Enjoying the wait, actually, because it stretched things out, gave him more time to think about what was going to happen. He had it all planned, knew he’d be in charge.

  When he was certain she was asleep, he tiptoed to the door, looked up and down the hallway, then down over the balcony. The maids were still accounted for—he could hear the vacuum cleaner, them blabbing to each other.

  Safe.

  He opened the door.

  She was lying on the fourposter, all lamed-out, her mouth wide open. A weird whistling sound was coming from it. The cat was curled next to her pillow—both of them fucking lame-os. It opened its eyes when he came in, gave him a dirty look as if it owned the place and he was some robber.

  He cleared his throat, as a test. If she woke up he’d ask how she was feeling, if she needed anything. The same test he used before sneaking into the library and locking himself in so that he could play with the knives, read Schwann’s big green book and the others, look through the stuff in the closet.

  Nothing. She was out.

  Another throat-clear.

  Out cold.

  He reached into his pocket, pulled out the Tuna Treet, and showed it to the cat.

  The blue eyes narrowed, then widened.

  Interested, you little fucker?

  The cat moved forward, then sank back on the satin bed.

  Lazy and fat, like her. It got everything it needed, wouldn’t surprise him if she jacked it off—no, she couldn’t, no balls. It probably couldn’t get a hard-on.

  He waved the Tuna Treet.

  The cat stared at it, then him, then back at the fish-shaped cracker, water-eyes all greedy. It licked its lips and got all tight, like it was ready to spring.

  C’mere, sweetie. TOOONA!

  It didn’t. It knew something was up.

  He touched the Treet to his lips, smiled at the cat.

  Lick lick, look what I’ve got that you don’t.

  The cat moved forward again, froze.

  He put the Tuna Treet back in his pocket. The cat’s ears perked.