Rage blinked. “There’s no other choice, you said it yourself.”
Stone looked at his wife for a long time. Then he reached out to take her hand. “There is always a choice. Sometimes it isn’t easy.”
“You act as though I believe life is easy, or should be,” Rage snapped.
“Apparently you do.” Stone shrugged. “You came here to fight me… but you don’t want to fight for a woman you claim to have loved… I’m sorry, cared for, for years. In truth, it makes me doubt your feelings.”
Rage clenched his jaw. “Doubt what you wish, call it what you desire. It matters very little to me.”
Stone shrugged, but Rage had known his friend long enough to see he didn’t believe him.
“If that is true, then what I’m about to say should matter little, too.” He smiled. “Jane and I return to London in two days. And I think I’ll need you to come with us, to assist me in some business in Town.”
Jane reacted first, a light little laugh and a squeeze of her husband’s hand.
Rage was slower, and far less happy. London meant Lucinda… he could see that Stone would ensure that. It was too soon to see her. It had been hell to pretend to be stoic when he broke things off with her, he wasn’t certain he could repeat that when he saw her again.
“No,” he ground out past clenched teeth. “I won’t go to London. You have other resources there, you can use them to attend to your business.”
“I want you there,” Stone said with a shrug.
“Don’t ask this of me,” Rage said as he turned away and paced the length of the room.
Stone stared at him. “Do it or quit.”
Rage spun on him. “You cannot be serious. You would terminate me for not coming to London?”
“You pointed out to me not long ago that I own your time as my estate manager. I’m collecting on my investment.”
“Fuck!” Rage stormed, then gave Jane an apologetic glance. “I’m sorry, Jane, but you must admit that my friend deserves some vulgarity. He hates me for ‘taking advantage’ of Lucinda, and now he is doing everything in his power to be certain I’ll encounter her? Tell him that he must make up his mind.”
Jane laughed. “Dear heart, Rage believes you should make up your mind.”
Stone never took his eyes from Rage. And he didn’t smile. “It seems you must take your own advice and soon.”
Rage pursed his lips. With a growl of displeasure, he grabbed for his discarded shirt and stomped to the door. There he paused. “You give me no choice. It is London or nothing, yes?”
He moved into the hall and slammed the door behind him. But as he strode down the hall toward the quiet of his quarters, he couldn’t help the thrill that worked through him. In a few days, he would see Lucinda again. And even though he knew he shouldn’t… the idea of being close to her was electrifying indeed.
Chapter Twelve
Lucinda laughed as her oldest daughter spun in a circle in the garden, clinging to her younger sister’s hands as the two girls squealed with pleasure.
“Be careful, Margaret!” Lucinda said between hard breaths of pleasure. “She is not as steady as you are.”
But Georgiana didn’t seem to care, unsteady or not.
“More Margette!” she screamed as she staggered around on the lawn in dizzy ecstasy. “More!”
Margaret giggled and was about to start her spin a second time when something behind Lucinda caught her eye.
“Uncle Nicholas!” she said, letting go of her sister and sending her backward onto her backside on the grass. Of course Georgiana only laughed.
Lucinda’s heart leapt as she turned to see Nicholas and Jane entering the yard behind her butler. The servant looked at Lucinda, as if to ask whether or not to announce the pair, but she waved him off. There was no need for the formality. But she found herself looking, nonetheless, to see if anyone else was behind her family members.
And even if she never said it out loud, the person she was looking for was Ronan.
But of course he wasn’t there and the ache she had felt since leaving the country increased. She shook off the reaction and watched as Margaret threw herself into her uncle’s arms. Lucinda couldn’t help but smile. At first, seeing Nicholas had been confusing to her eldest daughter. He looked so much like her father that she had wailed for Anthony. But time and age had helped. Margaret was beginning to understand that her father was gone and that Nicholas was his own person.
Nicholas spun her around as Jane opened her arms to Georgiana, who was toddling toward the group with a giggle. But as her sister-in-law stood, the eighteen month old in her arms, Lucinda felt Jane’s stare not on the children, but on her.
She moved toward them and forced a sunny smile. “Hello! We didn’t expect you until tea at Marianne and Hugh’s house later today!”
Nicholas nodded. “That was the original plan, but we arrived early and decided to come and see our beautiful nieces. And bring them their presents.”
“Presents!” Margaret squealed.
Nicholas swung the older girl under one arm and took the younger from his wife. “Come, I’ll take you inside and spoil you before your mother can stop me.”
As the three entered the house, Lucinda laughed. “They will be happy to have you two in Town for a while.”
“I hope so. We do love seeing them.” Jane looked at her. “Why don’t you sit with me in the garden for a few moments? I want to speak to you about something.”
Lucinda looked at her sister-in-law with wariness. Jane appeared so serious, Lucinda was suddenly uncertain she wanted to have some kind of deep talk that she might not like. But there was no polite way to decline, so she motioned to the bench in the middle of the garden and they walked to it together. She took her time in finding her seat, but she could only delay the inevitable for so long.
“I don’t want you to be surprised by anything that occurs now that we’re all back in London.” Jane patted her hand. “Rage has returned with us.”
Lucinda swallowed past a suddenly bone dry throat. She had not expected that. Not so soon.
“Ronan came to London?”
Jane nodded. “Also, I think you should know that Nicholas and I… we know what happened between you two.”
The world shrank at that simple sentence and suddenly all Lucinda could hear was the rushing of blood to her ears. She wanted to sink into the bench and disappear. Her private life brought out for her family to see? The very idea was enough to make her cheeks burn and her hands shake.
Jane tilted her head in sympathy. “ I don’t tell you this to embarrass you or make you uncomfortable. And I understand why you didn’t tell me while we were in the country, but if you need to talk-”
Lucinda pushed to her feet and took a long step away. She rubbed her arms though she was anything but cold. “Thank you, but it’s over now. Talking won’t help. I must simply forget.”
Jane was quiet long enough that Lucinda turned to face her. Her sister-in-law was staring at her intently. “Is that possible?”
“It must be,” she said with a shrug, even though she had no idea if what she proposed was truly possible. Certainly she had not forgotten even a moment of the time she shared with Ronan. She hadn’t lost a fraction of her feelings for him.
Jane nodded. “Well, you will be forced to test that theory later this afternoon. You see, Marianne has asked Rage to join us for tea.”
Once again the rush of blood was all Lucinda could hear. Everything else seemed far away and wavy. Seeing Ronan again so soon was something she had hoped to avoid. At least until she regained some dignity, until she forgot how much she wanted and cared for him. To see him now… it thrilled her and made her stomach turn all at once.
“Do you think I can escape the invitation?” she whispered.
Jane shook her head. “You know Marianne. If you cancel suddenly, she will only wonder why and prod you until she uncovers the truth.”
Damn, Jane was correct. And it was one thing to have
Jane and Nicholas know her secret, but Marianne was another story. She wouldn’t want her mother-in-law to think less of her, or to feel she was disrespecting the memory of her beloved son.
“Then I suppose now is as good a time as ever to face my fears.” She shook her head. “And perhaps when I see him again I’ll feel fine. I’ll feel nothing.”
But as the two women started for the house to check on the girls, Lucinda knew one thing for certain: there was no way she could ever feel nothing when faced with Ronan. Not now. Not ever.
~~~
Rage didn’t attend teas. He didn’t like to sit like a gentleman and hold his tiny little cup in this too-big hands and make small talk. It was only because Stone’s mother had asked him, herself that he had bothered to come at all. And even though she had been nothing but kind and accommodating, he still felt completely out of place as he stood beside the fireplace in the parlor and watched from a distance as Jane and Nicholas chatted with the Countess.
Jane broke from the group and joined him at the fireplace.
“You look very stern over here,” she teased him gently.
“I’m afraid I’m going to break something,” he admitted through clenched teeth. “I do not belong here.”
Her face softened. “You are amongst friends. You will always belong here.”
He glanced at the clock on the mantle. “When will she be here?”
She. Lucinda. He wasn’t certain whether to be thrilled that he’d be afforded the opportunity to see her in such an intimate setting, or horrified. Either way, the thought had distracted him since their arrival in London and the invitation to tea had been thrust upon him.
“In a few moments,” Jane said softly. “She is a little late, probably because of the children.”
The children. Stone stiffened. He had never spent any time with Lucinda’s girls, aside from a brief glimpse of them here and there.
A footman stepped into the room in that moment and Rage’s heart stopped. Lucinda was behind the servant and she held the smaller girl, Georgiana, against one hip, while the older one, Margaret, clung to her mother’s hand. Margaret giggled.
“Announcing my Mama!” she said to the room at large.
If the servant was annoyed by her stealing his duty, he did not show it. He merely bowed to the group and took his leave.
Rage stood back as there was a flurry of the children hugging their grandmother and aunt and uncle. Lucinda greeted the group, too, but he felt her awareness of him. Her stiffness as she kept her gaze firmly away from his.
He wasn’t sure how long that would have gone on, except that her daughter, Margaret noticed him. She pointed.
“Who is that man?”
The family turned toward him in unison and Rage shifted under the power of their unified gaze. Finally, Lucinda took her daughter’s hand and led her closer.
“You know it is impolite to point,” she admonished her softly. She didn’t look at Rage as she added, “This is Mr. Riley. He is a good friend of your uncle.”
Rage flinched. Yes, that was his only relationship to this family anymore. But the reminder still stung, for some reason.
“Hello, Mr. Riley,” Margaret said and she clung to her mother’s skirt as she said it.
He crouched down and smiled at her. “Hello, Lady Margaret,” he said, extending his hand solemnly. “I have heard a great deal about you.”
She giggled as her tiny hand was utterly enveloped in his. It was warm and wiggly and he fought the urge to laugh as he shook it.
“You are big,” she declared. “That’s my sister, Georgie. She’s little. Not even two.”
The younger girl was now standing beside her aunt, staring at him with wide eyes that were the same dark blue as her mother’s. Then she smiled a baby grin and said, “Misser Riley.”
Lucinda smiled as Margaret toddled off to her younger sister. But Rage only watched her. She was so at peace with being a mother. So natural in the way she interacted with them. A brief image of another baby in her arms pierced his mind. His son.
He shook it off and stammered, “Th-they are beautiful children, Luc- my lady.”
She flinched at the formality and turned her face on him, looking at him for the first time since her arrival. “Thank you, Mr. Riley.”
“I-” he began, though he had no idea what he would say to her.
She gave him no opportunity. “I must get them settled in the nursery now.”
He shook his head. “They will not join us for tea?”
She stared at him for a moment and her surprise was clear on her face. “You would want to share tea with two boisterous children?”
“If they were yours, yes,” he admitted.
Her mouth pinched. “Well, they are too young. I only brought them in to greet their grandmother. But they will be brought to the garden later to play.”
He nodded. “I look forward to that.”
She said nothing, but slipped away to gather the girls up and move them toward the doorway where a female servant, he could only assume a governess, waited to take them to the nursery in their grandmother’s home. He watched as Lucinda bent to kiss each girl’s cheek and smiled as she said a few soft words to them.
The emotions Rage had been trying to suppress rushed over him in an undeniable wave. And this time he couldn’t deny exactly what they were. He loved her. He loved her in every way that was good and pure and passionate and everlasting. He wanted to be free to hold her, protect her, partner her in life.
But as she straightened up and returned to the room without even so much as a side glance for him, he felt nothing but pain. Pain for what he could never have, and pain for what he had given away in an attempt to protect Lucinda.
And even though he still knew that what had been done was for the best, the pain was something that would never fade. Because she would never be his again.
Chapter Thirteen
Although Lucinda was at a crowded ball, chatting with old friends and having a perfectly lovely time, her mind kept returning to one thing and one thing only: Ronan. The previous day at tea had been so hard. She’d wanted to go to him, touch him, treat him as a lover and a love. And when he had joined her children in the garden afterward and given them pony rides all over the yard… well, it had taken everything in her not to kiss him in front of the entire family.
But he’d made it clear that he was not hers. He never would be.
“Lucinda.”
She smiled and refocused as one of her friends approached her small group. Lady Wineland had a knowing little smile on her face as she slipped her arm into Lucinda’s and laughed.
“What is that look for?” Lucinda asked and tried to put thoughts of Ronan from her mind once and for all.
Lady Wineland shrugged and gave the others in the group a brief smile. “Oh nothing in particular. Just that I’ve heard you have a very special admirer. One who wishes to be introduced to you. And since I know him a little from his dealings with my husband, I am to be the one who makes that introduction.”
The women in the group let out a little squeal in unison and all eyes were suddenly on Lucinda. She blushed. Up until now no one had thought to matchmake for her. But her mourning was over and more than one friend had mentioned that the heaviness she’d carried around with her since Anthony’s death seemed to have lifted.
None of them knew why.
“And who is this gentleman?” Lucinda asked in wonder.
“The Marquis Wintermaine.” The other woman nodded like this was great news.
Lucinda shook her head. “Wintermaine… I’m sure I’ve heard the name, but I do not know the man, nor do I know why he would have an interest in me.”
One of the other ladies laughed. “Because you are beautiful, of course.”
“And of course you know Wintermaine,” Lady Wineland said with a wave of her hand. “He will one day be the Duke of Nordcross when his father dies.”
At that statement, Lucinda’s heart all but stopped. Nordc
ross was a name she did recall. It was the name of the Duke whose servants had taken Rage in as a child. Which meant this Marquis was one of the children who had tormented him in the schoolroom.
“I do not think I’d like to meet this man,” she said softly.
The women in her circle gasped as one and stared at her.
“You cannot refuse to meet him,” Lady Wineland said as she lifted her hand to her chest. “It would be abominably rude. Aside from which, he is handsome, rich and looking for a wife. You couldn’t turn away from becoming a Duchess!”
Lucinda pursed her lips. If she refused to meet this… person… her refusal would only cause questions and rumor. So she was going to be forced to speak to someone who had once hurt a man she loved.
“Very well,” she said softly. “I shall meet him if he is insistent.”
Lady Wineland clapped her hands together. “Good, I shall fetch him.”
The other women in the group all began to buzz in excitement, but all Lucinda could do was watch as her friend approached a man standing with his back to their group. They spoke for a moment and when he turned, Lucinda caught her breath. He and Rage had the same pale, sharp eyes.
And suddenly everything began to come clear. Why Rage would be taken in by people he didn’t know. Why he would be brought into the schoolroom of a Duke’s children when he was nothing close to their rank. Why the Duchess and her children would despise him so fully.
He was Nordcross’s illegitimate son.
She held her breath as the Marquis was led to her. He gave a courtly bow and a smile as Lady Wineland said, “My lord, may I present Lady Stoneworth. Lady Stoneworth, the Marquis of Wintermaine.”
“My lady,” he said as he took her gloved hand and lifted it to his lips briefly. “I have heard much about you. I had hoped perhaps we could share the next dance.”
Lucinda withdrew her hand slowly. “I believe my card has the next dance taken,” she said without looking at it. She did not want to speak to this man. Not knowing what she knew, and what she’d guessed.
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