Incarnate: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Marked Saga Book 5)

by Bianca Scardoni

  Translation: we’d be shit out of luck.

  “Got ya. So, when do I leave?” I asked, not wanting to waste another second. The sooner I got into the Veil, the sooner I could get my hands on that dang book and started piecing this thing together.

  A look of relief washed over his face as though he hadn’t been sure whether I’d do it or not. “We’ll have a team ready tomorrow evening.”

  “Tomorrow, huh?” Okay, wow. That was pretty fast. I thought I’d have a little more time to get my affairs in order but screw it. “Should I do anything in the meantime?” I asked, unsure of protocol.

  “Go home and ready yourself. Get some rest if you can.” He reached out and gently touched my shoulder. “I won’t lie to you, Jemma. This will not be easy. It’s going to take an insurmountable amount of mental strength to overcome the pain, but I believe you can do this.”

  I nodded, doing my best to appear confident even though my knees were beginning to knock against each other. What if I couldn’t do this? What if the pain was too intolerable for me and I backed out? I tried to shake away the choking fear of failure and just stay focused on the task at hand.

  Get in the veil. Find the book. Push through the pain.

  And don’t die…

  Sounded easy enough.

  I left Temple feeling rattled. While I’d known I was going to have to go into the Veil sooner or later, in the back of my mind, I’d kind of assumed it would be later. Like much later.

  With the clock ticking ominously in the back of my mind, I turned my car around and headed for All Saints, but not before making sure that Trace’s car wasn’t in the parking lot. I needed a minute to get my head on straight; to just drink my woes away and forget about all the drama and devastation for a little while, and since Pricilla The-Homicidal-Sire-From-Hell was still taking residency in Dominic’s house, the Manor wasn’t exactly an option at this point.

  As much as I wanted nothing more than to fall into Dominic’s arms and let the world disappear around me, I couldn’t just show up there while his Sire was still there. I needed him to come to me when the coast was clear. Speaking of which…

  I pulled out my phone and texted him: Meet me for a drink?

  I didn’t bother specifying where because one, I was worried Pricilla would see the text and crash our party, and two, there was only one decent drinking spot in town and we both knew where that was.

  I pulled up a stool at the main bar and ordered a double shot of Jack. The bartender placed the glass in front of me and I quickly tossed it back. The dark liquid burned on the way down, but somehow, it made the turmoil I was feeling on the inside slightly more tolerable. It had a way of always doing that for me.

  With my phone still in my hand, I pulled up Tessa’s contact and texted her. I wasn’t sure how much she knew about what was going on, but I felt that now was probably a good time to fill her in on the details and maybe even tell her how much I missed her and loved her, since, you know, I may not get that chance again depending on how things went in the Veil. To no one’s surprise, she didn’t text me back right away, so I held up my hand to the bartender and ordered myself another round.

  “You mind if I sit here?” asked a familiar husky voice.

  I didn’t need to turn around to know it was Trace. I could recognize his voice from the bottom of the deepest ocean with a pair of headphones on and I’d still know that deliciously deep voice as well as I knew my own.

  “I’m actually waiting for someone,” I said without turning to look at him. To look at those eyes. He was the last person I needed to see right now. Not with how I was feeling or the questionable amount of booze I had in my system.

  That was a loose-lip-recipe for disaster.

  What the heck was he doing here anyway? I’d made sure to thoroughly check that his car wasn’t anywhere in sight before coming in.

  “Would that someone be your boyfriend?” he asked and then sat down on the reserved stool next to me, our shoulders brushing against each other as though our bodies ached for contact.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah.” I chanced a glance in his direction and instantly regretted it. His hair was freshly washed and slicked all the way back and his eyes glimmered like two dazzling orbs poking out under the shroud of a dark sky. And then there was his lips…lips that were perfectly drawn out into a smooth, even grin, escorted by two of the most beautiful dimples to ever be created. I inwardly kicked myself for even looking. “What are you doing here anyway?” I grumbled and took another swig of my drink.

  He laughed, the sound of it throaty and completely captivating. “I own this place, remember?”

  “Yeah, I know that.” I finished off the last of my drink and set the glass on the table. “I mean, you weren’t here when I pulled up fifteen minutes ago,” I said and then bit my lip, wondering if I should’ve kept that part to myself.

  “Still trying to avoid me, I see.” His gruff voice was clipped and sounded less than pleased.

  Definitely should’ve kept that part to myself.

  I turned and met his eyes. I couldn’t tell if I was seeing disappointment in his face, or irritation. It was probably a bit of both mixed in with a hint of defiance, like he was up for the challenge.

  “Honestly, I thought we were passed all that,” I answered tartly. “What with how you ignored me all day.”

  His frown lifted at the corners of his mouth.

  “Not that I care,” I quickly back peddled, not wanting to give him the wrong impression—or you know, the truth.

  His smile widened, setting off both dimples in tandem as he gestured to the bartender to bring us two more drinks. I clutched my empty tumbler, trying not to get swept away in their dimply depths.

  Yeah, I just said that.

  “I guess I owe you an apology for earlier,” he whispered and then slanted toward me. “Since you obviously don’t care.”

  Every nerve in my body stood to attention as the buzzing sensation danced over my skin and then burrowed into me as though making a home for itself. I tried not to let it affect me, but it was like trying to ignore the heat from the sun.

  “I don’t care, and you don’t need to apologize to me,” I said, trying to keep my eyes from slipping closed—from being consumed by the tantric humming sensation between us. “You don’t owe me anything, Trace.”

  The bartender placed two glasses down in front of us and then went back to serve another customer at the other end of the counter. Trace leaned in again, this time setting off an entire solar storm of energy through my body as he pulled my empty glass away and replaced it with the full one.

  “Cheers,” he said and held his glass to me, his eyes exploring every inch of my face, studying me the way you would study an abstract painting that didn’t fully make sense to you, but that you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from.

  I quickly dinged his glass and then took a super long swig, praying the toast to nothingness was over and that he’d withdraw his body and good vibrations and I’d be able to have a moment to get my wits back.

  Instead, he craned his head even closer me and then whispered in my ear, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

  His baritone voice set off a massive swarm of butterflies through my belly. “What does?” I asked, tightening my hold on the glass.

  “This.” His eyes moved to our touching shoulders. “Me and you together.”

  My heart skipped several beats as I shook my head and tried to pull away from him, but I was already on the edge of my seat and there was literally nowhere else for me to go. Why the hell did the barstools have to be so tiny?

  And why the hell was my ass so damn big?!

  Trace chuckled. “Your ass is perfect.”

  My cheeks were damn near on fire when I turned and scowled at him. “Don’t do that,” I said and pushed him back a notch, breaking off contact and his direct line to my thoughts. I didn’t even bother addressing the actual comment he’d made. Frankly, that was too much for me
to deal with at the moment.

  “Don’t do what? Compliment you?” he asked, his eyebrows raised and a crooked smile tugging at his lips.

  “Don’t read my mind without my permission.” I took a sip of my drink and added, “and don’t look at my ass either.”

  He laughed again, the sound of it as rich and deep as undiscovered cave. “I can’t really help the first one, and I definitely can’t promise anything for the second.”

  I rammed my elbow into his side and tried to bury my smile. The last thing I wanted to do was let him know I thought he was funny…and charming. That was a surefire way to get his gears turning.

  Or turning more than they already were.

  “So, where’s this mystery boyfriend of yours?” he asked, side eyeing me as he took a sip from his drink.

  “He probably got held up with work.” I shrugged like it was no big deal, because, well, the whole thing was a lie anyway. Dominic wasn’t my boyfriend and he definitely wasn’t at work. He was at home—with his Sire—and that was a thousand times worse than any lie I could’ve told.

  “You know,” he said and pressed his shoulder against mine, his eyes all hooded and delicious. “I’d never keep you waiting if you were my girl. Come to think of it, I’d probably never let you out of my sight in the first place.”

  Ignored my thundering heart, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you flirting with me again? Because I though we already went over that.”

  He shot me a mischievous smirk. “I’d tell you I was sorry, but that would be a lie.”

  The guy was literally killing me in the most scrumptious way possible.

  As much as I wanted to forget the past and the future and just lean all the way into him and kiss him until his lips were swollen and throbbing, I knew I couldn’t do that. This thing between me and Trace had gone far enough. I needed to put an end to it once and for all.

  “That’s where you’re wrong though,” he answered, and I immediately pulled away from him, knowing he had been listening in again. “This thing between us hasn’t even started.”

  “I told you, I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in you that way.” I turned away from his piercing eyes and took another sip of my drink. Apparently, I needed to stop skirting the issue and just come right out and say it. And if that wasn’t clear enough for him, I don’t know what would be.

  “You want to know a secret, Jemma?” he asked, completely throwing me off.

  I searched his eyes for a moment, looking for any signs of lunacy because that was so freaking random. “Um, okay?”

  He crooked his finger, gesturing for me to move closer to him, and against my better judgement, I leaned in to listen. “I know you’re lying to me.”

  I pulled back and rolled my eyes at him even though my stomach tightened at his words. “I lie about a lot of things, Trace. You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

  “I wasn’t finished,” he said, and spun my barstool around so that I was facing him. My legs were pinned together between his as he effectively caged me in. “See, I’ve been having all kinds of dreams about you lately, but the thing is, they’re too vivid to be dreams. They’re more like memories.”

  My heart flatlined in my chest as I tried to turn my barstool back the other way, but he grabbed a hold of my thighs and kept me there.

  “So, I’ll say it again and this time, I’ll be really specific for you,” he said and then leaned all the way in, bringing his face within inches of mine. “I know you’re lying when you say you’re not interested in me,” he said without the slightest hint of doubt or hesitation. Despite accusing me of lying to him, there was no hostility on his face. His lips were hiked up in a smirk and his eyes were locked onto mine as though wholly captivated by something.

  My bottom lip flapped around like a fish out of water. I had literally no words. No rebuttal. None. It was as though I’d forgotten how to speak.

  “You want to know what I think?” he asked and then went on without giving me a chance to respond. “I think you have feelings for me, and I think something went down between us last year. Something serious.” He cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brows as his curious gaze sweep across my face. “I’m not sure exactly what happened or why you’re lying to me about it, but I know something happened between the two of us.”

  Snapping out of my stupor, I cleared my throat and shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

  “Yeah, you do,” he cut in unapologetically, his voice as calm and smooth as a lake. “But you’re going to lie about it anyway. That’s okay though. I got all the time in the world to figure this thing out,” he said, and then licked his lips.

  My gaze dropped to his mouth and I inwardly kicked myself when he noticed and smiled back at me.

  Nice going, Jemma.

  “Trace…” I shook my head and swallowed, suddenly feeling as though my throat were made of sandpaper. I wanted to tell him to leave it alone, to just let the past die—for his own sake. But I knew I couldn’t utter those words without sounding off a dozen alarms in his mind. “I need to go.”

  He straightened in his seat and crooked at eyebrow at me. “I thought you said you were meeting your boyfriend?”

  “He’s obviously a no-show.” I threw back the last of my drink and pushed his legs apart so that I could slip off the barstool. My hand all but vibrated from the contact, but I refused to acknowledge it.

  I needed to sink back into my river of denial, and I’d drown myself in it if I had to.

  He turned on his barstool to face me, his back against the counter now. “Have one more drink with me.”

  I quickly shook my head. “I should quit while I’m ahead.”

  “Where’s the fun in that?” he asked as he propped his elbows onto the counter behind him.

  “The fun is not getting smashed in the middle of the week.” I gave him a judgy look. “Or is that your thing now?”

  He slanted his smile at me. “It can be if it means I get to spend more time with you.”

  Shit on a brick. Must. Leave. Now.

  “Goodnight, Trace.” I started to walk away from him and was about to add ‘see you tomorrow’ when a sobering realization crept into my head and made me pause.

  I was going into the Veil tomorrow, and there was a very real possibility that I may never make it out of there to even see another tomorrow. What if this was the last time I’d ever get to see him like this?

  What if I never got a chance to say all of the things I needed to say to him?

  “You alright?” he asked, probably because I was just standing there like some weirdo, not walking away and not saying anything.

  I turned back to face him, petrified to my very core that I’d run out of time. Without thinking better of it, I did something I knew I’d regret later. I said the words that I’d been aching to say to him since the night I watched him take his last breath at my hands. “I’m so fucking sorry,” I said, tears springing up behind my lids without my permission. “If I could change things—if I could take it all back—I would. In a heartbeat.”

  His eyes softened as he looked back at me. “Jemma—”

  “I just needed you to know that,” I quickly cut in, not having the strength to hear another word from him. To gaze into those curious, beckoning eyes. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

  And with that, I turned and walked away from him, leaving him with a million unanswered questions and the possibility that he’d never get a single answer to any of them.

  24. WHEN DARKNESS FALLS

  The crisp autumn air bit out at my cheeks as I left All Saints and made my way around the side of the building to where I’d parked my car. While I’d somehow managed to fight away the tears that had wanted to fall, it had done nothing for the thick sorrow choking me at the back of my throat. Digging into my bag, I pulled out my keys and hit the unlock button, wanting nothing more than for this day to come to a swift end.

  “Leaving so soon?�
�

  I jumped at the sound of Dominic’s silky-smooth voice. Holy crap! “You scared the shit out of me.” I said, clutching my chest with my hand as I leaned back against the driver side door to catch my breath.

  “My apologies, angel.” His lip twitched as though he wanted to sprout a smile, but then decided against it.

  “Where were you? I thought you weren’t coming. You never answered my text.”

  “Yes, well, I was a little tied up.” He titled his head to the side and then reached out to tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “Were you worried about me?” he asked, his tone flat and almost…mocking?

  “Well, what did you expect? You just disappeared this morning.” I searched his face for answers, for an explanation, but he was surprisingly blank. “I thought we decided not to take Pricilla’s help and just get rid of her.”

  Honestly, as much as I would’ve killed for a way to help Trace, I wasn’t willing to risk Dominic’s life for it, and I was pretty sure we’d established that fact last night. Clearly we’d gotten our lines crossed.

  “I suppose I thought we could do both,” he answered nonchalantly and then let his gaze travel down the length of my body as slow as a setting sun. “Did you enjoy you’re evening?”

  “No, I didn’t,” I answered sourly, but it was only a half-truth. As hard as it was to be around Trace knowing there was no future for us, my heart still soaked up every minute I got to spend with him. What can I say? The heart wants what it wants. And apparently, my heart wanted two different guys at the same time. “I was worried about you all day.”

  “Well, I’m here now.” His lip twitched again, this time producing the tiniest ghost of a smile. It looked forced though, almost as though his lips had forgotten how to smile altogether.

  For a second, I wondered what had gotten into and then I remembered he’d spent the whole day with Pricilla. No doubt that would chip away at even the most hardened of souls.

  Brushing it off, I straightened my back and asked, “So, did you manage to get any information from her about Trace’s memories?” Hopefully something good would come out of this mess of a day and it wouldn’t all be for nothing.