Guarding His Heart

by R. Cayden

  “Oh hey,” Raiden answered, looking up from the table. There were tools spread all over the place and torn pieces of notebook paper scattered on the floor with a few crunched beer cans. And, tying it all together, an oily hunk of metal sat in the hallway, a few towels beneath it.

  “Why the hell don’t you do in this garage?” Declan asked, pointing his thumb out toward the yard.

  “Fucking cold out there, man,” Raiden answered.

  Seb lifted a paper from the floor, glancing down at the mechanical illustrations. He muttered to himself, then nodded with appreciation as he read it. “I like what you’re doing here.”

  “Have you been working on this for a while?” Declan asked, still frowning at the mess.

  “We’re coasting at the moment,” Gray answered as he jumped back to sit on the counter, then swung his legs against the cabinet as he landed. “No big jobs on the horizon, so we’re fucking around to pass the time. It’s okay, though. We got the funds to last until spring.”

  “We did get a hot tub the other night, though,” Raiden said, distracted. “Want to check it out?”

  “Maybe later,” Declan answered with a grunt. He looked around at the mess in the kitchen and realized Gray and Raiden were just like him at that age, likely to get so wrapped up in their schemes they didn’t bother to take care of themselves or think through the risks they were taking. “What have you got in the fridge here?” he asked, then crossed to pull it open. “You want some breakfast?” At the very least, he could make sure the guys ate.

  When he looked up over his shoulder, he noticed Seb, standing a little awkwardly in the doorway. Raiden and Gray chimed out with how hungry they were, but Declan stepped across to Seb first. “Seb and I can make something,” he said, stretching his arm over Seb’s shoulder, then pulling him closer. “That right, Seb?”

  Raiden and Gray both looked at each other, then simultaneously let out an exaggerated, loud set of oohs. “My uncle’s in fucking love!” Gray hooted with a laugh.

  Seb laughed, then buried his face in Declan’s chest. “Get the fuck on with it then,” Declan answered, grinning himself. “You two get it out of your systems?”

  “Hey, Seb,” Gray cut in. “Sorry you got caught in the crossfire. Uncle Declan just never seemed the romance type, you know?”

  Seb laughed as he pulled his face back from Declan’s chest. “Trust me, I know what you’re talking about.” He glanced at the stove, then took Declan’s hand. “So, breakfast?”

  Quickly, the chatter picked back up. The teasing broke through any awkwardness, and Seb joked around with Raiden and Gray easily while he helped Declan pull breakfast together. He even got in a few good jabs of his own when he realized how stale their bread was, then solved the problem by transforming it into improvised French toast. When he shared that he worked in technology and scientific research, the conversation took a real left turn, with Gray asking a million questions about time travel, all of which Seb answered with a friendly smile.

  The whole thing felt good to Declan. Better than he expected. It was kind of like when he was young, when the family still got along and before the bridges had been burned. Over the years that followed, he had taken care of himself and himself alone for so long. It had taken Seb to remind him of how good it felt to care about someone else. Watching Gray and Raiden eat his breakfast just felt right, the way caring for family should.

  Maybe his own uncle had been a piece of shit, ready to throw Declan under the bus, but that didn’t mean he had to make the same mistakes.

  “What did you both want to talk about anyway?” Gray asked as they finished the breakfast.

  “A couple things,” Declan answered. “I thought I should introduce you all, while I had the chance.”

  Raiden and Gray turned to each other, then let out another oohh, making Seb laugh and bury his face in his hands.

  “And,” Declan cut in loudly, “I wanted to let you know that my contract is over. We’re done with Reed, as of this morning.”

  “Fucking great,” Raiden answered with a nod. “The further away you can get from that guy, the better.”

  “That’s for certain,” Seb answered, his fork poised in the air. “He was setting us up the whole time.”

  “Yeah,” Declan added. “Good fucking riddance.”

  Gray waved his mug of coffee in the air, spilling a little on the table. “That’s it? You’re not going to teach him a lesson? Show him not to mess with you?”

  Declan grunted. “No, that’s what you would do. I’m too old for that shit.”

  Gray tilted his head to the side, disbelieving. “Really, Uncle Declan?”

  He frowned. It was only natural that Gray would think that way. Not hitting back would show Reed that Declan was weak, which would leave him more vulnerable in the future.

  With Seb around, though, Declan wouldn’t just be putting himself at risk. And now that they were finally in the clear, he wasn’t about to give that up for anything.

  “Really,” he said flatly. “The sooner that man forgets about me, the happier I’ll be. And that’s a lesson the two of you could learn, too. There’s nothing glamorous about revenge. What matters is staying safe.”

  Gray nodded, the force behind Declan’s words apparently getting to him. “What’s the plan, then?” he asked. “Are you headed back out to Vegas already?”

  Declan and Seb exchanged another look, and Declan straightened his back. “We’re still figuring that out.”

  Gray leaned across the table, pushing aside his plate. “I don’t need to tell you,” he said, “but you’re always welcome on my crew, Uncle Declan. I know we must look like a bunch of jokers to a guy like you, but I swear, we’re good at what we do. We’d make you proud, Uncle Declan.”

  Declan scoffed, then took another drink of his coffee. He didn’t know why Gray was suddenly acting like he was something special. “You don’t look like a bunch of jokers,” he said, then glanced at the papers scattered all over the place. “Okay, not entirely, at least. You just look young, nothing wrong with that.”

  “But you!” Raiden cut in. “Gray has always told us stories about you. The one guy in the family brave enough to stand up to the boss. And then you fought your way out of Seattle and made your own life in Vegas? Sounds epic, man.”

  Declan cleared his throat. He glanced at Seb, who was staring up at him with admiring eyes. It made something tickle in his stomach, and he swallowed down a little more coffee to try to drown the funny feeling. “I did what I had to do,” he answered. “Nothing special about that.”

  “Will you join us?” Gray asked. “It’s the perfect time. Our crew could really use someone with your experience.”

  Six months ago, the answer would have been yes, Declan knew. If he would have realized how good it would feel to connect with his family again, he would have tossed aside that life in Vegas and made his way out to Albany. But things hadn’t gone that way, and no matter how much Seb might have been unfazed by stuff like this, Declan knew the road ahead was different.

  “I’m doing something else now,” he answered, then grinned. “But don’t think that means I’m going to be a stranger. I’ll be breathing down your neck and trying to keep you out of trouble, just watch.”

  Underneath the table, Seb grabbed Declan’s hand. He looked up to Declan proudly, his eyes wide and a soft smile turning up the corners of his lips.

  “Well, it’s a damn shame,” Gray answered, leaning back in his chair. “We would have been legendary with you, Uncle Declan.”

  Soon enough, the conversation returned to joking around and good-natured teasing. Declan let himself linger in it for a while, enjoying the satisfaction of being with people he actually cared about and seeing them care about each other, too.

  After Raiden tried a few more times to drag them all into the hot tub, Declan and Seb finally took off.

  “What do you think?” Declan asked Seb as they stood back in the driveway.

  “They’re great,” S
eb answered brightly. “They remind me of you.”

  Declan crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh yeah? Should I be worried you’re going to ditch me for the younger model?” he teased.

  Seb laughed. “No. Of course not. It’s just nice to joke around, you know? Everyone in my family is so serious and stiff all the time…”

  “Stuck up, is the phrase I would use.”

  Seb laughed again. “Yeah, I guess that’s right.” He paused, then shoved his hands in his pocket. “I hope I didn’t come across like that, back when we first met.”

  Declan spread his arms to take Seb into a quick kiss, then rubbed the top of his head. “I always saw the light behind your eyes,” he answered. “Don’t worry. Now come on. We’ll have to hit the road if we want to beat the traffic.”

  * * *

  SEBASTIAN

  “I can’t believe you’re here!” Alexandria squealed. She clasped her hands in front of her, grinning back and forth between Declan and Seb. “I thought I was going to have to kidnap Seb to get you to New York.” She paused, then tilted her head to the side. “Too soon for that joke?”

  “No one was ever going to kidnap me,” Seb said. “At least I don’t think so. Were they?”

  Declan shook his head. “Nope, doesn’t look like it. The joke is allowed.”

  Alexandria had a gorgeous loft in the East Village, a trendy Manhattan neighborhood with coffee shops, fashion boutiques, and grungy bars. Her decorating taste was bright and sophisticated, and almost everything had been acquired at a thrift store, giving the loft a unique sense of style.

  Seb stretched his arm across the back of the orange floral couch, then cozied up a little tighter with Declan. Behind Alexandria, framed covers from old lesbian pulp novels were arranged on the wall, and a small red fish circled in a bowl on the side table. She lifted her soda water from beside the fish, still smiling wide. “Do you go out to clubs, Declan? Tell me I have at least a prayer of convincing you to go dancing while you’re visiting. I’m desperate to see the two of you bump hips.”

  Declan snorted. “No one sees the hip-bumping but the two of us. But I might join you for a beer, if we’re around long enough.”

  Seb curled his legs up on the couch and under his body. He’d loved spending time with Gray and Raiden and was still surprised how easy it was to connect with them. Still, there was nothing quite like being in Alexandria’s home.

  And having Declan along, like his companion? It was revelatory.

  Seb smiled up to Declan. Lately, he’d been fixated on the ears. They were big, and they even stuck out a little bit. It almost looked goofy, but Declan’s face was so full and square, it somehow just worked perfectly.

  Declan turned down to him with a smile. Seb giggled to himself. Maybe, in fact, the ears did look a little goofy at the right angle, which he found somehow even sexier.

  “I’m not going to move back into the house,” he said, turning to Alexandria. “I don’t want to live there anymore.”

  “I don’t blame you. Are you going to talk to your father again?”

  “There’s an event in a few months that he wants me to attend. He probably won’t think of me again until then. I’m not sure what he’ll do when I fail to show up, though.” He sighed, then took Declan’s hand. “He never cared about me. He just cared about exploiting my work. Now that he thinks I’m a fraud, he’ll probably forget I exist altogether.”

  Declan squeezed his hand. “His loss,” he said.

  “It’s true,” Alexandria added. “He’s the real loser here.”

  Being supported by both of them at once gave Seb a renewed sense of clarity and strength. “I know,” he said. “But thanks for reminding me. Anyway, it’s like Declan was saying earlier today, there’s nothing glamorous about holding grudges. The best revenge is just to pursue my own work, and to live a happy life while I’m doing it.”

  Alexandria coughed lightly, holding a hand over her mouth. “Is that really what Declan said?”

  Declan grunted. “Something like that,” he said. “I’ve seen plenty of people get so obsessed with revenge, they end up dead because of it.”

  Alexandria started playing with her phone, then slid it across the coffee table to the guys. “So these photographs of your father from the Horizon Christmas party two years ago, you’re saying I should just delete them?”

  Seb snatched up the phone, then gasped at the picture facing him. His father was sitting on a couch with two women who couldn’t have been older than twenty, one on either side. Each in bikinis, they were holding a mirrored tray in front of him, lined with rows of white powder and a rolled up dollar bill. “Oh my god!”

  “I didn’t tell you at the time,” Alexandria said quickly. “I thought it might just be too upsetting. But I knew one of the girls who was working the party, and well, we both know your father’s reputation…”

  Seb turned to Declan. It was silly to feel shocked, considering the man his father had always been. Still, though, discretion had always been so important to him, Seb had never actually seen evidence of his indiscretions.

  “People really do get sloppy around the holidays,” Declan muttered.

  Alexandria giggled. “You have no idea. I can delete them, of course, if you really think—”

  “Hell no!” Declan barked. “I mean, it’s your call, Seb, but even if you think the fight is over, you don’t go and throw away your ammunition.”

  Seb shook his head, still taking in the surprise. “Would there be any way to trace it back to me? I hate the idea of him getting away with it all, but I just want a clean break.”

  Alexandria took her phone back with a smile. “Between the two of us, I imagine we can make it pretty anonymous.”

  Declan rubbed the back of Seb’s head, comforting him. “If you want to damage a powerful man like your father, you don’t just hit him. You hit him smart, and you hit him at the right time. You can sit on this, Seb. And when the opportunity presents itself, the three of us together can figure out how to make it really count.”

  Seb smiled. He was surprised how satisfying the idea was, but after years of hiding his true desires, Declan had helped him realize it was okay to want something more than just better technologies and clean energy. These other desires felt strange and primal, but with the help of the people he loved, he knew he was smart enough to shape them, the same as he had shaped his intellect over the years.

  And seeing his father get a little of what he deserved? That didn’t sound bad at all.

  “When the time’s right,” he agreed. “Thanks, Alexandria.”

  “Sounds like a damn good plan to me,” Alexandria said. “In the meanwhile, where are you two headed next? Are you going to buy another house out in the mountains?” She shrugged. “You’re both welcome here as long as you’d like, of course. But I get the impression you might enjoy some privacy, too”

  Seb nodded. “Declan and I do need to decide where we want to live, and preferably soon.”

  “You’re not going back to Vegas, I hope?” she asked.

  Declan rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. “Nope. Nothing waiting for me there.”

  “I thought you had a ranch?” she asked.

  “I did.”

  “What happened to it?”

  Declan licked his tongue across his teeth. “Lost it in a poker game.”

  Alexandria grinned. “Wow. Badass, Declan.”

  Declan shook his head. “Nope. It would have been badass if I won a ranch in a game of poker.”

  Seb laughed. “He’ll tell you the story sometime. It’s kind of how we met.”

  Alexandria tossed her hair to the side. “Manhattan would be good,” she said. “You know, there’s some of the most advanced research equipment in the world here. I’m sure we could arrange access for you.” She pursed her lips and squinted at Seb. “You are going to keep up with your research, aren’t you?”

  “Definitely,” Seb answered. That part had always been a given to him. “I
will take a minute to reset, though, and figure out what I’ll focus my attention on next. With my head clear and some distance away from Horizon, however, I should be able to make a whole new kind of progress.”

  “Speaking of,” she replied, “I grabbed some materials while I was in the Horizon system for you. Hopefully enough to give you a jump start.”

  “Now that’s what I like to hear,” Declan added. “Always thinking one step ahead.”

  Alexandria fluttered her eyelashes. “Like right now, I’m thinking about what you’ll wear when I drag you to the club.”

  Seb turned to Declan and tried to imagine him with a flashy shirt on or sparkle across his eyes. It might actually look pretty hot, he decided, but he couldn’t really picture Declan any other way than how he was.

  Something tightened behind his chest. When Declan’s nephew had made the offer to join him, the look in Declan’s eyes had startled Seb. Clearly, the idea had been tempting on some level. There was a sense of purpose in Declan’s gaze that Seb had only seen a few times, first when the intruders had shown up in the house and then in their most naked moments, when the two of them came together.

  Seb didn’t want to deny Declan anything. He didn’t want the man to turn his back on everything he knew just because Seb’s life was so different. And he especially didn’t want to take him away from his family.

  He didn’t need Declan to change. He just needed him, that was all.

  “Earth to Seb,” Alexandria said, waving her hand in the air. “Were you trying to solve equations in your head while I talked again?”

  “What? Sorry,” Seb said, fidgeting on the couch.

  “I said we can go tour labs while you’re here, if you’d like.”

  “Sure, maybe,” he said.

  “We’re still recovering from the last week,” Declan added, then pulled Seb closer. “But for what it’s worth, I’m not against living here.”