Pilgrim of Death: The Janna Chronicles 4

by Felicity Pulman

  The presence of Ralph meant that she and Winifred were unable to discuss what to do with the hand of St James, for no answers had come to Janna in the night. If St Edith was still on their side she was keeping quiet about it. Today, Bernard walked behind the pilgrims instead of leading the way. He was keeping company with his mother, and Janna watched them talking earnestly. It was clear that he fretted with impatience. Janna could understand why. She wondered if he’d confided their secret to Juliana, for he must surely know where his mother’s loyalty lay and whether it was safe to tell her what they’d found in the dead man’s purse.

  Whether he’d told her or not, they were not happy with each other. Janna watched them at the small tavern where the pilgrims stopped to eat their dinner. Hissed whispers gave way to a strained silence between them as they supped on ale and pies. The other pilgrims ignored the trouble between the pair, instead sharing stories of their travels with another party that had come into the tavern.

  Bernard was quick to hurry them outside just as soon as the last morsel had been devoured. He could barely hide his eagerness to move on, although he was gentle with his mother as he helped her outside and took her pack to carry himself. Juliana clung to his arm for a moment before releasing him. Janna saw the shine of tears in her eyes as she turned away, and felt sorry that the old woman traveled with such dread in her heart on what should be a joyous, spiritual adventure.

  As they set out along the track once more, she tried to offer some comfort. “Do you feel blessed that you have visited the shrine of St James, my lady?” she asked.

  Juliana nodded. She was limping badly, and Janna offered her an arm to lean on. To her surprise, for the old woman had been fiercely independent in the past, Juliana took it and leaned heavily against her. Janna braced herself to take her weight. “Was that your purpose in making this journey? To ask for the saint’s blessing?” she ventured.

  “Yes. But not – ” Juliana broke off abruptly.

  “Did you ask the saint to help you walk properly?” Janna knew that Juliana’s condition would deteriorate as she aged, and that there was no known cure for it – other than a miracle, if God or his saints were so inclined.

  “No, I didn’t ask for healing.” Juliana’s voice was low and fierce as she continued, “I asked for my son’s life! I begged the saint to take my life for his. I refused the comfort of riding so that I could walk each painful step of the Camino as a sign of my penitence for past sins, and my willingness to give up my life to save my son! And I pray that it’s not too late and that God will hear my prayers, for darkness still walks with me and I fear it!”

  Janna was shocked into silence by Juliana’s passionate outburst. She had no idea a mother’s love could be so powerful, and so strong. But Juliana was not yet done.

  “Our safety lies with you, Johanna, I am sure of it. Please, I beg you, please leave us. Now, before it is too late.”

  “Too late for who? For what?”

  “For us. For my son.” It was the second time Juliana had appealed to her, and still Janna couldn’t understand why. What power of life or death did she have over Bernard? It didn’t make sense. She wondered if she should talk to Bernard herself, tell him about Juliana’s fears, and ask for his opinion as to what she should do. She looked about for the pilgrim, and saw that he was striding ahead with Morcar and Adam. It looked as if they might be arguing, and she wondered anew why Adam kept in their company.

  Juliana tugged on Janna’s arm, dragging her back to her present predicament. “Please will you leave us? You can travel with someone else. For my son’s sake – and for your own.”

  Troubled, Janna sought for a way to appease the old woman. Could she slow down, walk some way behind the pilgrims, perhaps? She was reluctant to leave their protection altogether, and besides, she didn’t think she could find the way to Ambresberie without their guidance, for she had no idea how far it was or even if she should stay on this same path or turn on to another. But if she put enough space between the pilgrims and herself so that she was not really part of their group, she could still keep them in sight and follow them.

  After wrestling with her reluctance to walk alone, and even though she believed that Bernard’s fate was out of her hands, Janna reluctantly agreed.

  “And you’ll stay away from my son, and from others in our group?” Juliana pressed her.

  What am I, a leper? Janna’s impulse was to answer in anger, but in deference to Juliana’s age she swallowed her indignation and said, “I shall follow behind you. I’ll do my utmost to have no more contact with any of you.”

  Juliana nodded, and released Janna’s arm. “Thank you,” she said. “I know I’m making difficulties for you where you see none. I know this is hard for you. And I thank you for being so understanding.”

  Janna stood still and watched the old woman shuffle off. She was some way behind the rest of the pilgrims, and moving slowly; it would be some time before Janna could safely set off by herself. A fallen log in a sheltered spot attracted her attention, and she sat down on it. Thanks to her new boots, walking was now a lot easier for her, but her feet still stung from the cuts and bruises she’d acquired while walking barefoot, so she was happy to rest for a while. She leaned back and looked up into the nests of the rooks, which nestled between green leaves like great black balls of wool. Caws and screeches melded with the quiet murmuring of the river. It was peaceful just to sit and be quiet. Janna closed her eyes, willing her soul to patience as she waited for the pilgrims to move further along their way.

  Her meditation was interrupted by an impatient voice. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”

  Janna opened her eyes to find Ralph staring down at her. “I – ” She stopped, unwilling to tell Ralph the truth, lest he also think her a pariah. “I’m resting,” she said.

  “But we could have left you behind! We’re not going straight to Ambresberie after all, we’re going to visit an ancient circle of standing stones instead. Our fellow travelers were told of it when we stopped for our dinner. It seems miracles and marvels have been wrought there, and now everyone is on fire with enthusiasm to visit the site. It’s not far from here, so I believe. There’s been quite some argument over it, but Master Bernard eventually yielded to the wishes of the others and they have already set on a path to find the ceremonial passage that will take them to the great henge. I realized you were missing and so I dropped back to find you.”

  “That is kind of you, but my business is at Ambresberie, and that’s where I must go.” Had Juliana known of this when she’d urged her to leave them? Janna felt dismay that she would have to make the journey alone after all.

  “You cannot travel on your own!” Ralph sounded thoroughly shocked. “’Tis unseemly – and it’s not safe.”

  “Then I shall just have to take my chances.” Janna wondered if he’d offer to leave the pilgrim band to accompany her. If so, what should she say? She suspected he had experience and charm to spare when it came to seduction. Even though he seemed honorable, she wasn’t so stupid as to stake her life and reputation on wishful thinking. So, if he made an offer, she must refuse it.

  “I won’t hear of it,” Ralph said firmly. “But I can’t escort you either, for it would compromise your position in the eyes of your family and your friends.” From the bold twinkle in his eyes, and the half-smile lurking about his mouth, Janna knew they’d both been thinking along the same lines. She felt reassured that they’d come to the same conclusion. But that still didn’t help her out of her dilemma.

  “You must come with us, Johanna, all of us,” Ralph continued, when she remained silent. “I cannot, in all conscience, let you travel on alone.”

  He waited for her answer. Janna wondered what to say. It was all very well for Juliana to tell her to leave the pilgrim band, while Ralph had no power over her to forbid it. So what should she do? The thought of seeing a stone henge and perhaps invoking a miracle – such as finding her father – was greatly tempting, but she’d
made a promise, and she should keep it. She sighed, wishing life could be less complicated. All she could think of was a compromise.

  “My feet hurt, and I would rest a little longer if I may.”

  “Or you can ride?” Ralph gestured toward the steed that stood patiently beside him. “I’ll sit behind you and hold you safe,” he added, forestalling any objection.

  Moving fast to catch up with the pilgrims was not what Janna had in mind. “I am happy to rest a while longer,” she said. “I am sure we can catch up to the party later.” She sensed his impatience to be off and hoped to take his mind off the delay by asking, “Pray, tell me more about this stone circle we are to visit.”

  “I know only what I learned from the travelers at the tavern. And travelers are ever prone to exaggeration, particularly with a skinfull of ale inside them!” He rolled his eyes in a parody of amazement. “Some said that the henge was built by an ancient people, and that it was used for sacrifices and pagan worship. Others claim that it was some sort of solar or lunar calendar to tell the seasons and the movements of the sun, moon and stars. The story I liked best was that the henge was built by the magician Merlin from giants’ stones magically transported from Ireland.” He shrugged. “No-one knows the truth of it, other than that it’s very, very old; as old as time itself. But the most important thing about it, so far as Mistress Juliana is concerned, is that it was recently the site of a miracle.”

  “A miracle?” Janna sat forward, wondering if this was what Juliana had been so reluctant to share with her.

  “So-called. The travelers witnessed – or were told about – a young boy, crippled since birth, whose legs became miraculously straight and whole after his parents took him to the henge. They washed the stones and the boy bathed in that water, to which some special herbs had also been added, and he was able to walk for the first time in his life. The stones have long been associated with healing, so it is said.”

  “And Juliana hopes that she, too, will be able to walk in comfort once more if she goes there?”

  “No. She seems to have some other purpose in mind, I know not what. She won’t talk to me, but gives me dark looks and mutters to herself whenever I cross her path. I don’t think she approves of me at all.”

  Janna looked at Ralph with new interest. She gave a little chuckle of amusement. Juliana must be even more crazed than she’d suspected. The thought assuaged her conscience somewhat for breaking her promise to leave the pilgrims. Thanks to Ralph’s intervention, it seemed she would have to continue her journey with them after all.

  Now that it was decided, Janna was looking forward to seeing the henge. She could understand, now, the argument she’d witnessed between Bernard and his mother. Juliana would be desperate to invoke a miracle if it would protect her son, but Bernard must chafe at this additional delay. It seemed that he hadn’t confided in his mother after all.

  “Is it urgent, your business in Ambresberie?” Ralph asked.

  “No, it can wait,” Janna answered truthfully. She had been ignorant of her mother’s past for all of her life. An extra day or two would make no difference to the outcome of her quest, whatever that might be.

  “You said you go to the abbey to seek information?” He left the question hanging in the air, clearly expecting an answer.

  “About my family.” She hesitated over how much to tell, but thought that Ralph seemed genuinely interested. “My mother was once at the abbey there,” she said, sticking to the bare facts. “I know little of her life, and I hope to find out more about her, and about my father.”

  “Who is your father?”

  “I know not, other than that his name is John. I am named after him. Johanna. But I am called Janna by my friends.” This last was said on impulse, and almost immediately Janna regretted it. How presumptuous she must seem! She waited for Ralph to stride off and leave her now that he’d found out she was bastard-born and of no account, but he did not.

  “Not having a father must have made life difficult for you, Janna,” he observed.

  Janna nodded, feeling warmed by his use of her name and his interest in her family. Pride, and a desire to hold his interest, prompted her to confide in him. “I have some things, keepsakes he sent my mother, which I hope will help to lead me to him.”

  “What sort of things?”

  “A letter.”

  “A letter?” He leaned forward.

  “From my father to my mother. And a ring with some sort of crest on it. A weird animal, like a large cat. I’ve never seen such a thing before. And a crown. And my father’s initial in the center – J, in the shape of a swan.”

  “Will you show them to me? Mayhap I can help you find your father.”

  “I cannot.” Janna was reluctant to lose such a wonderful opportunity, but it would have meant undressing in front of him.

  Ralph frowned. She thought he seemed disappointed. “I keep them in a purse beneath my gown,” she said, anxious to explain her refusal. “I can show you later, if you wish, my lord?”

  “Ralph.” He grinned at her, and her spirits lifted under his regard. He had not thought her presumptuous at all; in fact they could now address each other as equals. She was glad that she had confided in him. Although she tried to dampen her rising spirits, she couldn’t help thinking that the description of the ring had meant something to Ralph. Could he help her find her father? Her breath caught at the thought that Ralph might even know him!

  He stretched out a hand and drew her to her feet, so close they stood heart to heart. She looked up to find him gazing at her so intently she felt as if she was drowning in his deep blue eyes. She tried to look away, but could not. So had she seen a snake once, with a small field mouse in its thrall. She had stopped, too afraid to venture further, and had watched the snake glide slowly forward until it was within striking distance of its unfortunate prey.

  She blinked, and pulled out of Ralph’s embrace. He was no snake, nor was she a helpless mouse! She looked about her, suddenly conscious that the pilgrims had vanished from sight. All at once she was filled with an urgent need to go after them, to escape from this man who had placed her heart and mind in such a dangerous whirl.

  But escape was not possible. Ralph offered her his linked hands so that she might mount, and then vaulted up behind her. He took up the reins with one hand while his free arm coiled around her waist and pulled her tight against him.

  Caught by surprise, Janna gasped.

  “Comfortable?” he asked.

  “Yes, I thank you.” She was glad that he could not see her face. Her body was rigid with embarrassment.

  “I have you safe. There’s nothing to fear.” His breath fell soft against her cheek, while his words brought comfort. She made a conscious effort to relax against him, and felt him shift to accommodate his body to hers. So had she once ridden with Hugh, but that was a long time ago. Hugh was gone now – but Ralph was right here, so vital and alive that the very air seemed to crackle with his presence. Janna smiled to herself. This journey with the pilgrims was turning out to be a whole lot more exciting than she’d expected.

  As soon as the group came into view, Janna insisted on dismounting. As usual, Juliana tagged behind the others. She turned to watch their approach, her expression unreadable. Janna felt uncomfortable, but knew she’d done her best to abide by Juliana’s wishes, crazed as they were. All the same, she made a private resolution to have nothing further to do with the group if it was at all possible.

  Her good intentions went sadly awry when Winifred caught sight of her and turned back. Janna’s heart sank. She still had no answer to give the girl. Ulf, too, appeared to have stopped walking. She wondered at her sudden popularity.

  “Have you come up with any solution to what we were talking about, Janna?” Winifred whispered, as she fell into place beside her. She flicked a cautious glance at Janna’s companion. Her steps slowed to allow him to walk on ahead.

  “No, not yet,” Janna admitted.

  Winifred hardly w
aited until Ralph was out of earshot before she burst out: “I could hardly sleep last night for worrying about it. And about Ulf. What if he tells the authorities I have it? Will they put me in a dungeon, Janna? Will they lock me away forever?” She was close to tears. “I heard tell of some poor wretch who was kept in chains for so long his feet rotted right away!”

  “No, no,” Janna soothed her. “That’s not going to happen to you. I promise I’ll think of something. Try not to worry about it.”

  “I wish I’d never taken the hand at all!”

  “I thought it was St Edith who prompted you to do it? You said it was a sign.”

  “And so it was! At least, I thought it was. But what if I was mistaken?”

  “Mistaken about what?” Ulf had waited until they caught up with him.

  Janna’s glance flicked down to Brutus, and back again. Here was the means to allay at least one of Winifred’s fears. Ulf had something to hide, she was sure of it. Perhaps she had the means to scare him into silence. It was worth a try.

  “So, tell me more about the hand that I saw Brutus eating?” she challenged. She tried to read Ulf’s reaction to her question. His face was guarded but, somewhat disconcertingly, there was a glint of laughter in his eyes.

  “You think it was a sacred relic?”

  “No. Yes!” Janna scowled at him, hating the fact that he’d almost tricked her into revealing Winifred’s secret.

  He raised an eyebrow. “No? Yes? Which is it?”

  “You tell me.” Janna tilted her chin and stared him down.

  “It wasn’t the hand of St James.” Ulf’s eyes rested thoughtfully on Winifred, whose bright blush immediately gave evidence to her guilty conscience.