Making His Stand

by Thianna Durston

  Zippo trotted over to James, hopped up on the porch, and onto his lap. James scratched him and slowly relaxed. “I know how that feels. All the variables in making decisions can be tiring. Math makes sense to me. It makes its own decisions. Everything else is a bit tiring. Accepting this job was more of a ‘it’s better than going to Saudi’ reaction than a decision.”

  “I may be wrong,” Alec said as he watched James and Zippo, “but you do have some strong submissive tendencies. That could be for all sorts of reasons. If you are, in fact, submissive, then you need boundaries, safeties that you know and understand. As long as your Dom keeps those boundaries strong, you’ll feel safe to play within them.”

  “Boundaries?” James asked.

  “Yes. For instance with Kendrick and Becca. She has certain boundaries, one of those is kneeling in his presence. If she doesn’t do it, he’ll correct her. When she sinks to her knees, she’s admitting that boundary is hers. It’s part of her safety. And probably why she’s so happy there.”

  James lifted his glass, snorting when Zippo stuck his nose in and took a lick. Almost instantly, he shook his head and looked up at James as if to ask what the hell he’d just drank. With a laugh, James said, “Teach you for drinking my lemonade.”

  Alec grinned. “Doesn’t like it tart, huh?”

  “Not quite.” James continued to chuckle as Zippo hopped off his lap and went exploring again.

  The steak and potatoes were fabulous and James cleared his plate. Well, mostly. Zippo cleaned up all the juice. “That was fantastic,” he said as he and Zippo followed Alec into the kitchen with the dishes.

  “Agreed. I love barbecued steak.” They did the few dishes in a companionable silence and after everything was put away, Alec poured two glasses of water. “Why don’t you head on into the living room? I’ll get some information you’ll need to take with you.”

  Zippo followed him into the living room and James lifted him onto the sofa before sitting down. Then he realized what he’d done. “Oh shit. I don’t know if he’ll want you on the furniture.” He pulled Zippo onto his lap.

  For the first time, he took a good look at Alec’s living room. Deep taupe walls with paintings of far off places surrounded him. Several short bookshelves were to his right. A large case with a huge sword caught and held his attention. While not into weaponry, he thought it was the most beautiful and lethal item he’d ever seen.

  Alec walked back in, a few pieces of paper in his hands. “I’m thinking we’ll have Slate’s dessert later. And since we’re about to start discussing BDSM in a real context and moving on to sex if you feel you’re ready, will Zippo have a hard time if I put him in the bathroom? I’ll put a pillow in for his comfort. As you and I become aroused, that’s going to become interesting if Zippo starts getting a little confused.”

  Heat flooded into James’s cheeks. He wished he could be so open about things. Well, he sort of could with Stan, but to just be able to talk about things like that was amazing. “Sure. He’s good at staying quiet. Oh, but make sure if there’s any garbage he can get into that you put it up on the counter. And shut the toilet seat.”

  “Consider it done. Come on, Zippo. This is for adults. Pups need to go where it’s safe.” Zippo’s tail wagged as Alec gently picked him up and carried him out of the room.

  James took in a couple deep breaths, hoping he didn’t make a total fool of himself.

  “I filled a bowl with water and put it in there as well,” Alec said as he walked back into the room and sat next to James. He was so close that their hips pressed together. Alec wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Now, this shouldn’t be scary. It might be embarrassing as you aren’t used to discussing it. Remember nobody dies of embarrassment and I’m rather partial to that pink in your olive skin.”

  More heat flooded to his cheeks and Alec chuckled. “Yes. Just like that.”

  Feeling the sudden need to change the subject, James pointed at the sword. “Where did you get that?”

  Alec followed his gaze and a warm smile entered his eyes. “That is one of two gifts from a former trainee and his master. I was twenty-two or twenty-three when I first met Brian.” He leaned back against the sofa and patted James’s arm. “He was thirty and had been to BDSM clubs but no matter how much he strived to find a master, none ever took him on for longer than one scene.” He chuckled as if at a good memory. “He was desperate to know what he was doing wrong. I explained that it wasn’t that he was doing anything wrong, but that some men preferred their subs to have knowledge of certain things. That they might enjoy him for one scene, but didn’t want to train him in everything. Bry asked if I would train him and I did. He was with me for a year before I introduced him to Fumio, who ended up becoming his master. Talk about a couple tailor made for one another.

  “Fumio,” he explained, “would not have given Brian a look before that as he preferred subs who already knew the basics. He also steered clear of all BDSM clubs. The funny thing is they have so much in common. Brian is an artist and a metal sculptor, knows three different forms of martial arts, and has a love of everything Japanese. Fumio is from Japan, owns his own karate and tattoo studios, and has a particular taste for metal art.” Alec chuckled again. “The sword is a gift from them on their wedding date two years ago. Along with it comes a replica tattoo.”

  James sat up a little straighter. “You have a tattoo of a sword?” He glanced over Alec’s clothes and wondered where on his body it sat.

  “I do. It’s on my spine. The hilt sits at my shoulder blades and the tip of the sword is at my tail bone.” His eyes twinkled and a lurid grin popped up the corner of his mouth. “You enjoy the sound of that. You like tattoos.” It was a statement, not a question.

  “I do,” James admitted. “Though I’m too terrified to get one myself, I love looking at them.”

  Alec trailed a finger along James’s chin. “I look forward to knowing other wonderful tidbits about you. Perhaps one day, you will go to Fumio’s studio and get a tat for me.”

  James’s throat went dry as he tried to imagine it. For some bizarre reason, he felt a desire to do it for Alec.

  Alec placed the papers on the coffee table. “We can discuss that later. This is what’s known in BDSM circles as a limits list. It’s a list of BDSM activities you may or may not be interested in.” He put his palm down firmly on James’s leg. His touch sent sensation trickling along James’s nerve endings and a rush of need to his groin. “It’s important to be honest on this, James. Even err to the side of caution. It would be bad to say you were interested in something and okay with me doing it, if it freaked you out. It would create a very unsafe playing environment. And while I’m kinky as shit, I play safe. Got it?”

  Chapter Ten

  James’s face was so easy to read at times. Worry. Fear. Excitement. Embarrassment. Awe. Beautiful. “Don’t worry about reading it now,” Alec said when James leaned forward to pick up the sheets. “I want you to take the next few days to truly go over it—talk to Slate about it this weekend if you feel comfortable doing so. Marking that list the first time should be done with two things in mind. ‘Does it turn me on?’ and ‘Can I trust Alec to do those now or later?’ If you can answer those questions honestly, we’ll have a much better starting point.” He was interested to see what James would mark. As shy as he was at times, when he knew he wanted something, he went for it. Would he do the same once he understood some of the activities people enjoyed?

  “So everything on there you do?” James asked.

  “No. That’s a pretty comprehensive list. There are quite a few things on there I won’t do, such as have sex with a woman.”

  James snorted.

  “Exactly,” Alec said with a chuckle. “I want to see what interests you. What makes James Kaden-Scott all hot and bothered?” He reached up and tugged lightly at James’s brown locks. “What will make you come undone?” That was something he was excited to see, that look of utter rapture come into James’s eyes as he soare
d, whether that was from pain or pleasure.

  “Wh-what if I mark something that disgusts you?” The question wasn’t unexpected. Many subs were afraid they had some deep, dark fetish or kink that would make others point and sneer. That James asked told him that the man had fetishes he was ashamed of.

  “Nothing will disgust me,” Alec said firmly. “James, if there’s something you’re interested in that I don’t feel comfortable doing, there are ways around it. For instance, some subs have a fetish for bestiality. If it’s not that Dom’s thing, there are ways around it. Animal shaped dildos and dressing as a furry can actually be a safe way to enact that particular fantasy.”

  James looked at him oddly and then his eyes went wide. “Eww. No. Not my thing.”

  “But if it was, that’s okay,” Alec assured him, not wanting him to discount anything. Fetishes were built from who knew what and to deny a fetish was to make it scary. “I’m not going to judge you. And you shouldn’t judge yourself. BDSM is about exploration. And sometimes that means exploring parts of your mind and psyche that might scare the ever-living bejeezus out of you.

  “The majority of people would deny they have rape fantasies, but you’d be amazed at how often rape play becomes a part of a couple’s repertoire. It’s a safe way to enact what most would consider an unsafe, demoralizing act. Many subs who enter rape play, understanding the dynamic, come out of it feeling empowered. Especially if they’ve actually been raped in the past. If a Dom and sub can explore their deepest, darkest fantasies and fears in a safe environment, it can be freeing for both.”

  James frowned thoughtfully but nodded. “Okay. So you want me to research these and mark what I’m interested in.”

  “Yes. There are three boxes next to each form of play. Put a checkbox in one of the three. ‘Yes, I’d like to experience that now’ means I can do any of that at any time. ‘Not now, maybe later.’ That’s what we call a soft limit. You need to feel safer before you can consider playing that way. It’s something I might encourage you to do after a month or six months. ‘I don’t see that ever happening.’ That’s a hard limit. It’s telling me that at this moment in time, you never want to experience that limit. And like I said. That’s fine. I have hard limits too. That’s a limit I’ll never ask you to change. However, I believe in a reevaluation of limits. So in six months you would fill the form out again—and I can guarantee it will look a lot different each time you fill it out—and some of your hard limits may shift to soft limits and vice versa.”

  Alec continued to lightly tug on James’s hair as he spoke, noting the physical tells as James became nervous or scared. Each hint of the emotions would help him in any scene they did. “I know it may seem overwhelming, but we all started somewhere. I was a fucking idiot when I started out.”

  That made James laugh and his nerves ratcheted down. “I can’t imagine that.”

  Pleased, Alec smiled. “I was not necessarily the self-assured man you see today. I was an eighteen-year-old idiot who thought being a Dom meant I was Tarzan and any boy I wanted to play with was, to all intents and purposes, Jane.” He groaned and shook his head. “Yes, I had Tarzan fantasies back then.” James’s shoulders shook with mirth. “Keep laughing and I’ll make you wear a loin cloth.” He grinned when James shot him a look of shock. Those eyes flashed with heat. Well, well, looked like someone liked that idea.

  “A Dom by the name of Zachary helped me. He showed me what an ass I was being, not by telling me, though I don’t doubt he wanted to. No, he told me that if I wanted to be a Dom in the community, I had to serve as his sub for six months.” Alec smiled wryly at the memory. “I learned more in those six months of hell than I could have imagined. Those lessons he taught me have stuck with me since. I know how scary it is to give up control. I know the terror of being tied up and realizing someone could do anything to me he wanted. I know,” he emphasized, “what you’re going through to a certain extent. As a Dom, submitting never came easy to me. In fact, most of the time I had to fight my inner nature. So, in that context, I’ll never understand the need to submit. However, I do understand the need to take that submission and turn it into a beautiful thing. To help my sub become the best he can be.

  “And,” he added, “I know how to tweak a man’s body to bring out pleasure you’ve never dreamed existed.”

  “Oh,” James said in a gasp, soft pants leaving his lips. “I want that. I want to experience it all.”

  He reached out and pushed a fallen lock out of James’s face. “You will. I look forward to taking you to those heights. But for tonight, let’s start with something you don’t need domination or submission for. Losing your virginity.”

  James nodded his head, but didn’t seem able to say anything.

  “Can you tell me what kind of physical pleasure you’ve received? Hand jobs? Oral?”

  “Mostly my own hand,” James whispered. “A couple hand jobs in the back of bars my first couple years of college. And one blow job that wasn’t all that great. But I love using dildos and plugs.”

  “Do you?” Alec said, intrigued as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to James’s jaw. “I’d love to see that sometime.” James shivered. “What kind of dildo or plug do you use? Plastic?” He nipped at James’s lower lip. “Metal?” He nipped at the top. “Vibrating?” he murmured right against James’s mouth.

  “My dildo’s silicone,” James panted softly. “My plug’s stainless steel.”

  “Lovely.” Alec took his lips in a hungry kiss, pressing his hand to the back of James’s head to hold him steady. James instantly parted his lips allowing Alec entrance into his eager mouth. He tasted like steak and Alec greedily indulged as he lapped at James’s tongue and then thrust his tongue in, taking stock of his mouth. It amazed him that James was inexperienced. Even closeted men usually found a way to get their needs met. He must have truly been terrified his family would find out.

  Still holding James’s head still, he tugged his shirt up with the other hand and slid his hand underneath against warm skin. The moan that rumbled up James’s throat turned him on further. So fucking responsive. One more tug and he released his head and took the base of the shirt in both hands. Alec pulled back slightly. “Arms up.” James instantly complied and Alec tossed the article of clothing on the floor. He wrapped his lips around a dusky nipple and sucked.

  A long low cry left James and Alec groaned in response as he moved to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment. It was obvious that James wasn’t sure what to do. He gingerly put his palms on Alec’s arms, but his body was mostly rigid. Alec looked into his brown eyes. James was turned on—there was no doubt there. Most likely a man not knowing what to do.

  “Do what feels good,” he encouraged. “Do you want to touch me?” James nodded frantically. Alec sat back and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it over to lie on top of James’s. He didn’t stop there. He stood up, unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down, baring his entire naked body for James’s perusal. It wasn’t surprising when James’s gaze went directly to his crotch. However, he found it intriguing when it didn’t instantly dart away. “Like what you see?” he asked in a husky tone.

  “Yes,” James whispered. “Except for online porn, I’ve never really seen another guy.”

  Alec pressed forward, straddling his thighs. “Not even in the locker room?”

  “I was afraid to look. Any guy who was caught even glancing was razzed or beat up.”

  “I’m not going to beat on you unless that gets you off. So go ahead and stare. Touch if you feel like it.” James seemed too shocky to try so Alec took his lips again, kissing him hungrily as he ground his hips against James’s jeans-covered erection. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” he murmured and nipped James’s lips.

  “Yes,” James agreed emphatically. “Too many clothes.”

  Alec stood up and James unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. When he stood up to push them down, there was an expression that crossed his face that told Alec he needed rea
ssurance. “I’m going to love whatever I see, James. I can understand your nerves, but I promise. I’m already excited to see and touch your cock.”

  There was a look of nervousness immediately followed by resolve and James pushed his jeans down and off his feet. Alec was once again impressed. When James decided on something, he went for it. Alec pressed James back onto the sofa and took a nice long look at the body displayed in front of him. Long and lean, with a slightly small cock, but who the fuck cared about size? He didn’t. They were all fun to play with. “Very nice,” he murmured as he trailed his fingertips along the fuzz that covered the base of James’s shaft.

  “I’ve always thought I was kind of small,” James said, his eyelids covering those expressive brown eyes.

  “Don’t hide from me,” Alec said as he reached up and tapped James’s chin. “No matter the machismo of modern male’s emphasis that size matters, I can have fun with a dick of any size. Yours was made for sucking on. If we’d already been tested, I’d do just that. But as it is, I’ll get my fill by touch.” He wrapped his palm around the thin shaft and gave a small tug. James arched his back and gasped. “Very nice.” Alec took James’s hand and placed it around his own dick. “Check me out, James. Feel what’s going to be inside your ass tonight.”

  Chapter Eleven

  James wasn’t sure if he was going to explode with pleasure or embarrassment. He knew his dick was small. At fully erect, he barely reached five inches. But Alec made him feel like that was not just okay or acceptable, but something good. He looked at James’s dick as though he wanted to devour it. Something told him oral sex with Alec would be nothing like the dismal experience he had a decade previous.

  “Can I suck you?” he said through his pants as he rubbed over the thick shaft in his hand.

  Alec smiled, approval in his deep hazel eyes. “After we get tested, James. For now, you’ll just have to settle for touching me.”