Making His Stand

by Thianna Durston

  Orders were the best way to keep Keb’s mind busy. It was one of the things that had made Avery a perfect Dom for him. Avery expected his sub to follow the letter of the law and that made Keb feel safe. It fucking sucked that Avery removed his collar.

  Keb repeated back what he was to do while Alec pulled on a pair of boots and grabbed his coat. “That’s right, boy,” he said. “All right. Get that done and meet me at the docks. I’ll be there, Keb.” And hopefully not break the small amount of trust James had in him in the process.

  After locking his door, Alec took one of the electric cars down to the office. It was slightly faster than walking. He walked inside and everything was quiet except for music coming from James’s office. “Hey, babe.” He stepped over the doggie door and James looked up and smiled.

  “Hey.” James stood up and kissed him.

  Oh shit. That was the first time James had kissed him rather than the other way around. Rowland, you’d better be sure of this. Keb needs you, but don’t let that ruin your relationship with James.

  Alec wrapped both of his arms around James and held him tight. When he pulled back slightly, there was a confused expression on James’s face. “What’s wrong?”

  With a combined groan and laugh, Alec said, “You know how I’ve trained a lot of subs?” James nodded. “Well, I never wanted any of them for my own. Not like you. However, that doesn’t mean I didn’t care for them.”

  “Okay,” James said, sounding slightly on edge.

  “I just got a call from a former sub. His master removed his collar after ten years and he’s a bit adrift. He needs a place to get himself back together before he goes back out and finds a new Dom.”

  “Oh.” James pulled back, a look of such heartbreak on his face that Alec mentally punched himself. “I see. Well, it was good while it lasted. Right?” He turned away but Alec heard the gasp of breath that held a lot of pain in it.

  He yanked James back into his arms. “Don’t you dare do that,” he murmured against James’s ear. “I want you. You, James. Only you. You’re my boy and—I hope—my boyfriend and lover. Keb is a sub who’s hurting and needs to keep busy. I suggested he come to the island and work here. I’m going to ask Slate if he can stay with him until the summer housing thing is set up. Keb is not my sub, James. Not my sub. You are.”

  James grasped hold of his arms. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.” Alec pulled him infinitely closer, tightening his hold to where he knew it would be slightly painful, but that it would also be comforting. By the way James relaxed a little, he knew it worked. “As it turns out, Keb is already in Sequim. I’m going over to get him because I worry that he might do something stupid like pick up with a wannabe Dom that might hurt him. He’s not my boy, James. You are. All right?”

  James nodded slowly. Alec cursed the timing and pulled his phone out. Slate answered on the second ring. “Hello, sexy.”

  He shook his head, too stressed to be amused. “Slate, I don’t have a lot of time, but I need a favor. A sub I trained is coming to work the Faire. He’ll actually be here today. I know it’s imposing, but how would you like a roommate until Kendrick gets the summer housing going? I’ll pay for it.”

  “Oh fuck that,” Slate said, sounding annoyed. “What about James?” He sounded pissed, which made Alec adore him all the more. “He’s gonna freak, Alec. He won’t understand.”

  “I’m holding him right now,” Alec said. “And you’re right. He doesn’t understand, but he’s trying. I would appreciate it if you would help explain it if he has any questions.”

  There was an angry sigh. “Fine. But this had better be just about wanting to take care of a former sub, because if you hurt James, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

  “You’ll have to stand in line,” Alec said wryly. “I think Becca will be first. But no. This is just about making sure Keb’s in a safe place while he recovers from losing a collar after an intense ten year relationship.”

  “Ouch,” Slate said with a hiss. “Okay, yeah. That’s gotta hurt. When are you going?”

  “Now.”

  “All right. I’ve got about… fifteen minutes of cleaning duties left. Then I’ll go hang out with James. Keb can stay on my sofa. If he’s a good guy, he’s welcome to share my bed. This is really shitty timing for you and James, Alec.”

  “No kidding.” After a few more words, he put the phone back into his pocket and pressed a gentle kiss to James’s lips. “I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll get Keb set up at Slate’s. Then you and I will have a nice dinner together.”

  “Won’t he need you?” James asked in a quiet voice. “You said he just lost his boyfriend of ten years?”

  “His master of ten years. A master who gave him very strict boundaries and suddenly he has none. He’s terrified and came to find me, hoping I’d give him some stability.”

  “Then you need to,” James said, pulling back slightly. “I know I don’t understand a lot. And I’m not going to say I’m not scared. Because I am. But if he needs you, then you should be there for him.”

  Alec snorted and smacked him hard on the ass. “Being a martyr is not allowed, boy.” Suddenly he no longer wanted to call James boy. That’s what he called all his others. He just wasn’t sure what to call him. “What he needs is boundaries. I’ll give him severe boundaries. I’ll talk to all the Doms. We’ll set the same restrictions. That will make him feel safe and he can grieve within that safety. That’s what he needs. However, I won’t push you aside to take care of him. You come first, James. Understand?” He waited until James met his eyes. A little pink flooded into his cheeks, but he nodded.

  “Yes, I understand.”

  “Good. Now Slate is going to come keep you company in a few minutes. I’m off to pick up Keb. Tell me you understand,” he asked, knowing he was begging. He felt like shit. He didn’t want James to hurt, but he couldn’t leave Keb in pain either.

  James leaned his forehead against Alec’s shoulder. “It hurts but I understand. I want to trust you mean what you say. I truly do.”

  “You’ll learn I do.” Alec pressed a kiss to his temple. “Now give me another kiss and I’ll be on my way. Oh, and James,” he said after James gave him a gentle kiss. “We’re going on a date Friday night.”

  James pulled back, startled, and his sad brown eyes burned a little brighter. “Really?”

  “Yes. We’ll need to find a Zippo-sitter. But I’ve got a fun evening planned.” He kissed him hard, biting, bruising a little. He wanted James to feel this kiss along with his sore ass until he returned. “It’s going to be the best date of your life,” he said as he let James go and backed toward the door.

  “It’s the only date of my life,” James said as he touched his swollen lips with his fingertips.

  “Good. That means I can fuck up and it will still be the best date of your life.” Alec winked at him and James smiled. One more look and Alec turned and left the office, breaking into a jog as he headed toward the docks. He wasn’t superstitious, but he found himself crossing his fingers in the hope that James would be able to trust him through this.

  The trip was rough what with the high winds, but when he finally pulled into the docks, he spotted Keb right off. He looked like total shit and completely lost. There were five huge grocery bags as well as two suitcases by his feet, but Alec didn’t pay attention to those. He moored the boat, hopped up onto the dock, and strode toward the suffering sub. Eyes red from tears and probably no sleep stared at him as he approached and when he yanked Keb into his arms, his former sub burst into tears.

  There was no doubt in his mind this was the right thing to do and once he got Keb calmed down and into the boat, he transferred his things and they took off for Elan Isle. Keb sat on the bottom of the boat, curled up in his coat, his eyes gazing into nothing. Alec wondered if he’d truly faced what happened or if he’d just glossed over it. That was one thing Keb had been good at: glossing over the things that caused him pain until they became huge monsters he d
idn’t want to face.

  And losing Avery was a pretty big thing. Besides casting glances at him and making sure Keb knew he was paying attention, he didn’t speak to him. It would have been difficult what with the wind and how much pain Keb was in. Mostly he hoped that Keb could just relax and let himself go now that he was in Alec’s presence. He didn’t need to be strong anymore. And sometimes, that was the start of healing.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  James was trying hard to think positive. Alec said the guy was a former sub. And not even his sub, just one he had trained. And Alec was the kind of guy who would never allow anyone to hurt if he could stop it. That was one of the things James liked most about him. He just wished there wasn’t a rather loud voice in his head telling him he’d fucked up. That he was just a replacement until a real sub came along. And that real sub had just reappeared.

  Just when things were going so good.

  He put his elbows on the desk and put his face in his hands. It was a good thing Kendrick was gone the rest of the day. Nobody to have to hide his worries and panic from. A little nose bumped up against his leg. “Hey, Zippo,” he whispered and picked him up, wrapping him in his arms. “Looks like you and I are going to be back on our own again.”

  “I knew it.” He startled at Slate’s voice as he came into the room. “I told Alec this was shitty timing. Of course he agreed, but fuck. He’s a Dom. They truly don’t get how things are from our standpoint. Here. I brought you a super-duper latte with a few of my cupcakes. Drown yourself in sugar, honey.”

  It was a shock after the quiet since Alec left to have the room suddenly filled with the twink that was Slate Burke. He pulled up a chair and nudged the coffee toward James. “Drink up, honey. Caffeine and sugar will help. As will I.”

  James took a sip of the coffee, coughing at the extreme espresso taste.

  “It’s a quad shot,” Slate explained. “That much caffeine should last you through when Alec comes home. Now, tell me all your fears. I can combat some of them, will commiserate with others, and will tell you right now that if that sub is here to get over his past Dom, I’ll help. If he’s here to take Alec away from you? I’ll kick his ass out in the rain. We boys need to stick together.”

  It did help to have Slate on his side. “Alec wouldn’t have lied.” There were a lot of things he wasn’t sure of, but that wasn’t one of them. Alec told the truth. He was a stickler for honesty, which was one of the things he really liked about him.

  “No. But he doesn’t know what the guy has in mind.” Slate removed the wrapper from a huge cupcake with red frosting. “Here. Try this. It’s one of the cupcakes I’m going to be serving this summer.”

  Obediently, James took a bite. Flavor burst on his tongue. Strawberry and banana and he was pretty sure that was pepper on the back of his tongue. “What is it?” he asked as he took another bite.

  “Haven’t decided on the name, exactly. Perhaps The Spanked Ass?” Slate grinned, making James choke out a laugh. “The cake is strawberry, sriracha, and lemon and the filling is banana. The frosting is cream cheese with strawberries and basil. What do you think?”

  “It’s kick ass,” James said through his last bite. “That’s really good, Slate. You’re gonna sell out.”

  “That’s my plan. And at five bucks a cupcake, that should bring in some nice cha-ching. Try this one. It’s kiwi, honey, and quince.”

  All three cupcakes were amazing. “I can’t choose just one,” James said after his last bite. “They’re all different and fantastic. Alec will really love the kiwi-honey ones.”

  At the thought of Alec, his sugar and caffeine high went sideways. “He’s going to want the sub who’s trained and knows what to do. I don’t know anything.”

  “Pfft.” Slate smacked his arm. “He adores you. Alec Rowland never takes on a sub. I mean never. He’s a trainer Dom. But ever since he met you? Fish meet hook. And he’s thrilled about it. But he’s a Dom, honey. They’re naturally predisposed to be annoyingly mother henish. And since this guy was under Alec’s arm at one point, he automatically feels protective toward him. I don’t believe for a moment that he’s thinking of anything other than the fact the timing fucking sucks.”

  “What has that got to do with it?”

  “Honey,” Slate said with a cock of his head. “You know so little of Alec. You haven’t had the chance to build up the trust needed to weather this kind of storm easily. You’re hurting. It’s natural. Alec hates every moment of your pain. And yet, if he didn’t go to the rescue, he’d hate himself for it.” He sighed. “You’ll get through it. There’s a ton of things to do to get ready for the Faire. Especially now that most of the buildings are up. Kendrick can put the new guy to work and you and Alec can continue along. I—” He stopped as James’s phone went off.

  As Alec was the only one to call, James quickly pulled it out of his pocket. He was surprised at the caller ID. “Hey, Stanno.”

  “Ah shit,” his friend said with a huge groan. “I’m so fucking sorry. I had no idea your father was there.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “He hasn’t called yet?”

  “Uh no?” James said, tensing. “Should he?”

  “I was on rounds and was flirting with one of the nurses and telling her about my friend James who was working at a kinky fair. Then I turned around and stared into the eyes of none other than your father. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

  “When was this?” James asked, feeling as though the air in the room had thinned exponentially.

  “About fifteen minutes ago. I had to wait for my break to call. I’m so fucking sorry, James.”

  “It’s not your fault.” Trembles started in his abdomen but began to travel up and down his body. His father knew. “Does he know where?”

  “No. I didn’t give any details and once I saw him, I stayed pretty closed lipped. Told him he would have to get the deets from you. Shit. I’m so fucking sorry. If I wasn’t sleep deprived, I hope I would have been able to make something up, but as it was? I really fucked up.”

  As if the current relationship hadn’t already sent him into a tizzy, this was far worse. “He’s gonna find out.” He broke out in a sweat and only barely noted when Slate removed a struggling Zippo from his grip. “He’s gonna find out I’m gay.” And then what? Suddenly it was hard to breathe. His hands shook and his eyesight went foggy. I’m not in the Middle East. He can’t harm me. The words kept going through his head and nausea poured over him, cutting off the last of his air.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Some sort of bag pushed around his mouth and a male voice firmly said, “Breathe, damn it.” The voice was so demanding that he did. “Again.” He clung to that voice that commanded he breathe every couple seconds until the world came back into clearer view. James blinked and stared at Craig who was standing next to him. Slate hovered nearby. “There you are,” Craig said. “Keep breathing, boy.”

  James grasped the paper sack in front of his face and continued to breathe. Craig leaned toward Slate though he didn’t take his eyes off James for a second. “What the hell happened?”

  “Not sure. Hold on.” Slate picked up James’s phone. “Still there? Okay. No. I’m a friend of his. He just had a panic attack. Want to tell me why..? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… I see. Okay. Thank you. I’ll have James call you once he’s fully recovered… Don’t worry. Craig here has that covered… No. I’ve got Zippo. Besides wanting to get back to James, he’s fine… I’ll tell him.” Slate put his phone down and told Craig the basics. “James’s father just found out his son is working at a kink resort and none of James’s family knows he’s gay.”

  “Ground zero,” Craig grunted as he kept his eyes on James. “Where’s Alec?”

  “Err. Somewhere between here and Sequim,” Slate hedged. “He had to go pick up a friend.”

  Craig reached over and took Zippo gently out of Slate’s hands and put him onto James’s lap. “I want you to go down to the docks and wait for him. As soon as he a
rrives, send him here. I’m not leaving James until he gets back. Got it?”

  “Yes, Sir.” That was the first time James had ever heard Slate go submissive. Then again, it was Craig. He couldn’t blame him.

  Slate darted off and Craig pulled the other chair closer and sat down. He put a hand on James’s back and rubbed lightly. “Keep breathing, James,” Craig said in his brusque, firm tone. “Just keep breathing.”

  It felt like it took forever before he was able to breathe easier and he removed the bag and wrapped his arms around Zippo who was shivering. “Sorry,” he said in a husky voice.

  “Your dog’s going to recover just fine. Want to tell me what else is wrong?”

  James glanced at him in surprise, startled to see kindness in Craig’s eyes. “I-it’s not just that my family will find out I’m gay,” he whispered. “My dad’s Muslim. He’s from Saudi. I…”

  “Ahh.” Craig nodded. “I’m familiar with some of their rules toward homosexuality, James. Your panic attack is not exactly unwarranted. But I’ve got to tell you. Not a Dom on this island… hell, none of the subs either, would allow anyone to harm you because you’re gay. If he tried, he’d end up dangling from cuffs in the dungeon under my particular brand of discipline.” He paused speaking, though his hand kept rubbing. It was remarkably stabilizing. “Has your father ever remarked on his feelings toward gays?”

  “No. But he already doesn’t think highly of me. And I’ve probably dropped in his estimation from whatever he overheard.”

  “And yet he hasn’t contacted you?”

  “Kaliq sends letters. Honest to God letters. He doesn’t even use email very much. But since he doesn’t know my address?” James looked over at his phone on the desk. “That’s the only way he can contact me. It’s actually more terrifying that he hasn’t called.”

  Zippo leaned up and licked his chin and James hugged him softly. He tried to stop the inward shivers so he could be strong for his dog, but he couldn’t seem to quell the nerves.