by Regan Ure
People that had never spoken to me before began to greet me when I walked past them in the hallways. I didn’t know most of the people. Shane, Damien’s best friend, greeted me with a friendly smile when I passed him in the hallway while I was on my way to my second class for the day.
Mark walked me to every class just like he had before, and it was nice. I spotted Damien standing by the door of my next class. His face lit up when he spotted me. I wondered if mine did the same when I saw him.
“Hi,” he greeted me and pulled me into his arms. His lips touched mine and I felt my knees weaken.
“Hi,” I said breathlessly. It was like when the two of us were together, everyone else disappeared into the background.
“Um, I’ll see you in class,” Mark said, looking slightly uncomfortable.
I didn’t miss the look that Mark and Damien shared before Mark entered the classroom. Before it would have been Damien glaring at Mark because he was jealous, but now he knew there was no reason to be jealous. He owned my heart and there was no room for anyone else.
“And that?” I asked, referring the look they’d shared.
“Nothing you have to worry about, it’s a guy thing,” he said. “How’s your day going?”
“It’s been a little weird with all the attention,” I told him. I was used to blending into the background, so it was something I’d have to get used to.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve got to go, or else I’m going to be late for my next class.”
He pressed a quick kiss to my lips before he released me. I watched him rush down the hallway. I’m a lucky girl, I thought to myself as I turned to enter my second class for the day. I sat down in the desk next to Mark. He looked at me and smiled.
“He really makes you happy,” he stated softly. It had to be written all over my face, how happy I was at the moment.
“He does.”
We’d both had horrible things happen to us—maybe that was why we understood each other so well. Maybe it even made us love each other even more. We were both perfectly broken for each other.
I floated on my cloud of happiness for the rest of the morning. At lunch time, Mark and I walked down to meet Chris at our usual spot. I was a little surprised to see Damien and his friend Shane already sitting with Chris. Not that I minded, because every moment I got to spend with Damien made me happy. Damien got up and kissed me when I stopped in front of him.
“Hi,” he said as he took my school bag off my shoulder and put it down for me. He sat back down on the grass.
“Hi,” I greeted when I sat down in between Chris and Damien, my two favorite people.
“What’s this?” Damien asked as he took my cast and read the message Chris had written this morning.
He laughed and looked to Chris.
“Thanks, Chris,” he said.
“I was just making sure everyone knew,” Chris stated, opening his sandwich with a cheeky smile on his face.
“I don’t think there is anyone in the school who doesn’t know,” said Shane, sitting opposite us. “I think within the first half an hour this morning everyone knew.”
Our little group had grown and everyone seemed to get on and the conversation flowed steadily. Damien held my hand and I couldn’t stop the goofy smile from appearing on my face.
It was hard to remember the girl that had shrunk away from getting to know people when I’d first started at the school. I had a boyfriend, that itself was still hard to comprehend. And I had friends, new ones as well as older ones.
I was very lucky and so happy at the moment, I was convinced that things couldn’t get any better than this. But no matter how happy I was I couldn’t ignore the nagging reminder in the back of my mind. Grant was still out there somewhere. What if the police never caught him?
It was like a constant fear that stayed in the pit of my stomach, wondering when he was going to come after me again.
“What are you thinking about?” Damien asked softly against my ear.
I didn’t want to tell him I’d been thinking about Grant.
“You were thinking about him, weren’t you?” he asked softly, so the rest of the group couldn’t hear.
I nodded my head. There was no point in lying and pretending that Grant didn’t exist.
“The cops will get him,” he said with a sureness I didn’t feel. They hadn’t managed to catch him up until now.
I tried to shake those thoughts from my mind. I didn’t want my fear of Grant to ruin my happiness. Today I was going to enjoy the happiness I’d found, and tomorrow I would worry about Grant.
That afternoon after school I had my first appointment with the therapist. Damien took me and waited in the waiting room for me. I’d told him I could call him when I was done, but he insisted on waiting.
I’d been nervous when I’d first walked into the office and eyed out the leather couch with a single chair beside it. By the time I had left my first session, I had been emotionally drained. The therapist was an elderly lady with her long, gray hair twisted into a bun and glasses resting on her nose. She’d smiled and tried to put me at ease, but nothing could lessen my nervousness.
She’d asked me a few questions that I’d answered. We’d started off the session talking about my life before the abuse. I didn’t know what was harder, talking about the life I’d lost or the life I’d endured with the abuse; sometimes it was hard to tell. The hour had gone by quickly. She’d told me that we’d had a good session, and she’d scheduled another session for the next week.
Damien kept glancing my way on the ride home. I think my lack of conversation concerned him, but I didn’t have it in me to pretend I was okay.
Opening up to a stranger about my life had been a lot harder than I had thought it was going to be. I wished I could keep everything that happened to me tightly sealed in a bottle that I could bury deep into the ground and never have to open, that I could just carry on with my life and pretend it hadn’t happened. Dealing with the stuff Grant had done to me was an emotional roller coaster. The emotional scars were worse than the physical ones.
It was harder to deal with it and then push it the back of my mind to ignore it, but I needed to deal with it even if it hurt, because I knew in the long run it would be better for me. When we got home, Damien quietly walked beside me into the house. I wanted to go straight to my room, but I didn’t want to be rude to Amy. I knew she would want to know how it had went.
“Hi,” she greeted cheerfully when we entered the kitchen. The smell of cooking food filled the air.
“Hi,” I greeted back with a fake smile on my lips.
“How did it go?” she asked, scanning my face to pick up what I wasn’t saying.
“It was okay.”
That was all I was going to say about it.
“Good,” Amy said. Without saying it, she understood I didn’t want to talk about it.
Amy didn’t miss it when Damien reached for my hand and held it. She smiled. Damien led me out of the kitchen and upstairs. Outside my room, he pulled me into a hug and held me.
“Go have a shower and I’ll bring up some food for you,” he said. He knew the session with the therapist had taken a lot out of me.
I nodded my head against his chest. He released me but before I could open my door and disappear inside, he cupped my face and placed a gentle kiss on my mouth.
After I entered my room, I closed the door and leaned against it. I didn’t want to spend too much time concentrating on my thoughts, so I did as Damien had told me and I went to have a shower. Once I got out of the shower, I got dressed in my pajamas and climbed into my bed.
It wasn’t long before I heard a gentle knock at the door.
“Come in,” I said as I sat up and leaned against the headboard.
Damien entered with a tray of food. It was so thoughtful, but I wasn’t hungry.
“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.
“Tired,” I answered as he set the tray down on my lap.
&
nbsp; “Why don’t you try and eat something,” he suggested.
“I’m not hungry,” I told him, and he picked the tray up and set it down on the desk beside my laptop.
“What can I do?” he asked. I knew he was feeling helpless.
“Will you hold me?”
He didn’t say another word. He kicked his shoes off and switched the bedroom light off. I lay back as he slid into the bed beside me and he pulled me closer. I sighed as I rested my head against his chest as he held me. I lost track of how long we lay together in silence before I drifted off to sleep, where I dreamed of my new life with Damien.
The next morning was rushed. We’d skipped breakfast because we were running late, but somehow Damien got us to school on time.
Chris was waiting by the school entrance for me. Damien walked me to him.
“I’m going to miss you,” he said as he walked beside me, holding my hand. I loved how he did these little things that meant so much to me.
“It’s only half a day, and I’ll see you later,” I teased him.
“I’ll pick you up after school,” he said as he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me when we got to Chris. I loved his kisses and how they made me feel.
“After school,” I replied and I pressed a quick kiss to his lips before I looped my arm through Chris’ and we walked into the school.
“Why is Damien missing school today?” he asked.
“He has a dentist appointment,” I answered.
“You guys are really all happy and loved up,” said Chris as we walked down the hallway to my locker.
“Yeah, we are,” I replied. It was weird. When we’d been apart, we’d just been living day to day trying to survive our demons; but now that we were together, we were happy and the burden we carried seemed lighter.
“So have you done the deed yet?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he bumped my arm.
“No,” I told him, feeling a little embarrassed to be talking about that type of stuff, even if we weren’t doing anything. “I’m not ready for that yet and he said he’d wait.”
“Wow,” he commented, sounding a little taken aback.
“What?” I asked as I glanced at him.
“I never thought I’d see the day where Damien would change for the better,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s like he’s a completely different person when it comes to you.”
It was hard for me to think about Damien as the person everyone else saw him as, because from the moment I’d met him he’d been different with me.
“So can I start planning the wedding already?” he asked in a teasing tone.
“Hey, I think you’re jumping the gun a little there,” I said with a grin. “We’ve only just starting dating.”
Marriage. I’d never thought that far ahead in my life before. It had always been about surviving Grant, and there had been plenty of times I didn’t think I was going to make it.
“I see the way you guys look at each other. Mark my words, one day you’re going to get married and live happily ever after,” he predicted.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever believe in happily ever after again, so I said nothing.
“I just need to get a book for my next class,” I told him as I stopped in front of my locker.
“I need to talk to my teacher before class starts,” he told me. “I’ll see you at lunch.”
“See you then,” I said to him as he disappeared into the crowd, walking in the hallway.
I got the book I was looking for, although I struggled to open my locker. Mark was already seated and waiting in my first class.
The first couple of classes dragged by. For some reason I just couldn’t concentrate on schoolwork. My thoughts were on Damien. I couldn’t help the happy smile that touched my lips at the thought of him, and the fact that he was my boyfriend.
I wondered if I would ever get used to it.
Mark normally walked me from class to class but the teacher had called him back to talk to him, so I walked to my locker without him.
I struggled with my combination. The lock was old and I had to spin it a couple of times to get it open. I’d need to speak to someone in the school office about it.
Suddenly, I heard a loud bang, and then someone screamed. What the hell? It took my mind a few moments to comprehend what was happening. It sounded like a gun shot.
Then I heard another one.
Oh my god.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Damien
We’d just gotten back from dentist appointment. My mom had taken the morning off to take me to the dentist. It hadn’t taken long for him to check what he had needed to and send me on my way, saying he’d see me back in a year’s time. Apparently I had good teeth. It was a good thing, because the sound of the drill in the dentist’s office sent shivers of fear down my spine.
The good thing about going to the dentist today was the fact that I had gotten a day off from school. It didn’t happen often. I’d only been apart from Haven for a couple of hours, but I was missing her already. I still couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be dating her.
“You missed breakfast this morning,” my mom stated, looking in the fridge. “I can make some scrambled eggs if you want?”
I’d missed breakfast this morning because I’d driven Haven to school and by the time I’d made it back it had been time to leave for my appointment.
“Sounds good,” I replied to my mom. Any food was good—I was a growing boy.
I sat down by the kitchen counter as I watched my mom grab a couple of eggs from the fridge. She’d just cracked the second egg open when the phone began to ring. She wiped her hands and answered the phone attached to the wall.
“Hello,” she answered cheerfully. It took only seconds for her smile to vanish.
I watched as my mom’s hand tightened on the phone and her eyes shot to mine. Panic and fear filled her eyes as she held onto the phone like it was a lifeline.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stood up and reached for my mom, but she was still listening intently on the phone as her eyes held mine.
“Okay,” she said, her voice stunned.
Then she ended the call. It wasn’t good.
“What?” I prompted as my panic began to build. She looked away when I tried to scan her features, trying to figure out what was going on.
Her dazed expression lifted back to mine. I saw the horror in her eyes and I felt my heart stop for a moment.
“It was Detective Green,” she said softly. “He said there’s a situation at the school…”
Haven.
My heart felt like it dropped right out of my chest and splattered on the floor below. I reached for the kitchen counter to keep myself steady as something inside me shook with fear.
Haven. Her name resounded in my head.
“There are people to protect her,” my mother reminded me when she saw my reaction. It didn’t matter. She was in danger and that was all that mattered.
I didn’t stick around for my mom to explain the rest. I dashed out of the kitchen. I grabbed my car keys and ran out of the front door toward my car. If it had been Detective Green on the phone, it had something to do with Grant.
Fuck! Please let her be okay, I kept begging inside my mind frantically.
I broke every speed limit on my way to the school. The roads in front of me blurred from one into another. I wanted to call her, but I couldn’t find my phone as I patted my pockets down.
Damn it! I’d left my phone at home.
This couldn’t be happening, not again. All I could think about was Haven. I should have gone to school today. If something happened to her because I wasn’t there to protect her, I would never forgive myself.
I held onto the little control I had. I couldn’t help Haven if I fell apart now, so as hard as it was, I tried to keep myself together for her sake.
The sight when I arrived a block away from the school hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had to slow down to take it in.
It was chaos. Crowds of students littered the road a block away from the school. Some girls were wailing hysterically, some were just crying. Teachers and other students tried to console them.
Unable to get any closer to the school with the car, I pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out.
I wanted to look for her in the crowd, but I knew that if Detective Green had called my mom then chances were Haven was still inside the school. A sense of foreboding settled in my stomach at the sight of ambulances in the street closer to the school. Paramedics were tending to some injured students.
I glanced at the one student that lay on a gurney. There was so much blood I nearly heaved, but the thought of Haven pulled me forward. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart, I had to be strong. The entrance to the school parking lot was blocked off. I pushed my way through the crowd to the yellow crime-scene tape.
How long had the situation been going on for? The thought that it had been going on long enough for the cops and paramedics to arrive nearly made me want to scream. It had been too long already.
I called to one of the cops guarding the scene.
“Tell Detective Green that Damien Knight is here,” I said to the cop that was closest to me.
He eyed me for a moment before he turned and walked away. I think the fact that I knew the name of the detective was the only reason he’d followed my instruction. He walked up to a group of cops, standing behind the front row of student cars in front of the school.
I watched anxiously for a few minutes, running my hand through my hair, before the cop returned and allowed me to move past the tape, keeping everyone else at bay. Most of the cops that were spread across the front row of cars had guns and had them pointed at the school.
I felt the panic rise again. I knew it wasn’t going to be good, but I’d never imagined it would be this bad, and this was bad.
“Damien.” Detective Green stepped forward when he saw me. He was dressed in a suit.