Gold in the Fire and Light in the Storm

by Margaret Daley

  Her father clasped her upper arms. “Exactly. I forgot that. I forgot the Lord is in control, not me, that He does care about us and is there for us. I have let my anger at your mother get in the way of our relationship as father and daughter. I love you, Darcy. Please don’t ever think otherwise.”

  The roughened edge to her father’s voice brought tears to her eyes. “Dad” was all she could say. Every other word was whisked from her mind.

  He drew her into his embrace and gave her a fierce hug. “I haven’t been the father I should have been. I was too tough on you because I wanted you to be ready to run this farm when I died. There was so much to teach you and you were all I had. I…” His voice faded into the quiet.

  When Darcy pulled back to stare into his face, tears streamed down her face and she didn’t care. For once she wanted to show what she was feeling in her heart.

  “I was wrong, Darcy.”

  She’d never heard him admit that, and to hear him say it twice in one day stunned her.

  “I won’t make that mistake with Sean. I hope you’ll let him come visit every summer. I hope you’ll come, too. One day—” he motioned toward the window “—all this will be yours and Sean’s. If you ever care to move back here, there will always be a home for you two.”

  “Dad, I don’t know if—”

  “Shh, you don’t have to say anything. I understand why you stay away. Lizzy and I have been talking about it, and I can’t blame you.”

  “Lizzy and you?” She shouldn’t be surprised by that comment because she had seen them together quite a bit since his heart attack. Once the week before, Lizzy had been sitting at the dining room table eating her breakfast and conversing with her father. The second she had entered the room, though, the housekeeper had risen and scurried into the kitchen.

  “I’ve come to depend on Lizzy as a friend.” A glint entered his eyes. “Much like you and Joshua.”

  “Dad,” Darcy said, warning him.

  He held up his palm. “I won’t say another word. We’d better get a move on or all the best items will have sold before we arrive.”

  “The auction isn’t until the end. We eat first.”

  Her father started for the door. “I like that. A good plan. Fatten us up before taking our money.”

  “It’s for a good cause. The outreach program at the church does some wonderful things.”

  “Yes, I know, Darcy. I’m the one who started it years ago.”

  “You did?” Darcy walked out of the office ahead of her father, realizing she didn’t know him nearly as well as she’d thought.

  “Yep. Reverend Collins and I came up with the idea over one of our Saturday morning coffees. I’m gonna hate to see him retire.”

  “He’s retiring?” Darcy could only recall Reverend Collins as the pastor of their church. It would seem strange without him at the helm.

  “He’s been talking about it for the past few years. I think he will within the year.”

  “Mom! Grandpa!” Sean called. “Where are you? Joshua is here. We need to go.” The shouts from the entry hall boomed through the house.

  Darcy shook her head. “I think he wants to get going.”

  “With him I’m noticing it’s all or nothing.”

  “You’ve about summed up my son.”

  “I’ll go get Lizzy in the kitchen. We’ll follow you all there.”

  “Mom!”

  Darcy stepped into the foyer. “I’m right here.”

  “Good. Let’s go.” Sean raced for the door, threw it open and disappeared out onto the veranda.

  Darcy faced Joshua. The small foyer grew even smaller with his presence. They were alone for the first time in a week, since the talent show. An eternity. She’d missed Joshua.

  “Mom! Joshua! Let’s go!”

  One corner of his mouth hitched up. “Are you ready?”

  She scooped up her large bag. “I am now.”

  On the drive to the church Sean chatted nonstop about the Fourth of July picnic, then the auction. Since the church wasn’t far from Sweetwater Lake, he checked to make sure that Darcy had brought his swimming suit.

  “Who’s gonna be watching you all?” Darcy asked as they neared the church.

  “Me for one. I volunteered to be the lifeguard from one to two.”

  “And have you had training?”

  “Mom! Joshua can do anything.”

  Joshua laughed. “Listen to Sean. He’s got it right. But to put your mind at rest, yes, I have had training. I was even a lifeguard for two summers as a teenager. I’ve also had paramedic training.”

  “See. I told you he could do anything.”

  Her son had a good case of hero worship, and the funny thing was, she did too. Joshua was the type of man she wished she’d met years ago before Clay. Then maybe she wouldn’t be so cynical about love and marriage.

  Joshua parked his truck near the picnic area because he had brought his grill to use for the hamburgers and hot dogs. Lizzy, in the farm’s truck with her father, had their contribution to the picnic—Lizzy’s German potato salad.

  Sean leaped down from the cab and raced toward his friends by the playground. Darcy, next to Joshua, her side pressed against his, watched her son until he was swallowed up in the crowd of children.

  “You’ve done such a good job with him.”

  Sean had left the door open and a soft breeze cooled the warming air in the cab. Her heartbeat kicked up a notch and she found beads of sweat popping out on her forehead. “My, I may have to join the kids in the lake.”

  “Did you bring a bathing suit?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you can help me lifeguard.”

  “But I haven’t had any training.”

  “That’s okay. You can keep me company.”

  The intimacy in that last sentence caused perspiration to bead on her upper lip. She wiped away the moist film only to have it quickly reappear. Before too much longer she would be drenched in sweat and it would have nothing to do with the quickly climbing heat of July.

  “Aren’t you afraid I might distract you from your mission?”

  He cocked his head, thought for a moment and said, “Now that you mention it, you’d better stay as far away from the lake while I’m on duty as possible. You in a bathing suit would be a definite distraction.”

  A rivulet of sweat rolled down her face. “Boy, I’m thirsty. I see Jesse is setting up the iced tea and lemonade.” Before she was tempted to stay and find out what else was a distraction for Joshua, Darcy slid across the seat and exited through the open door.

  She started to make a beeline for the refreshment table, then realized there were items in the back of the truck that needed to be unloaded. The twinkle in Joshua’s eyes did nothing to cool her down. She needed to seek shelter from the sun—and Joshua Markham.

  After taking the lawn chairs and a blanket to the area where everyone was gathering, Darcy strode toward Jesse. Darcy snatched up a paper cup and filled it with iced tea, then dumped several packets of sugar in the cold drink.

  “So you and Joshua came together,” Jesse said, taking a sip of her lemonade.

  Darcy rolled her eyes and started to walk away.

  “Avoiding me won’t work, Darcy O’Brien.”

  She spun about, her hand on her waist. She took a step toward her friend and lowered her voice. “Just because you were happily married doesn’t mean marriage is for everyone.”

  Jesse glanced over Darcy’s shoulder. “One Joshua Markham coming in at twelve o’clock. Be seeing you.”

  Before Darcy could form a retort, Jesse had escaped and Joshua had reached the refreshment table. He poured himself some tea and downed it in several swallows.

  “Where’s Jesse off to?”

  “Probably somewhere to cause trouble. I never knew how troublesome she could be until—” Darcy clamped her lips together, realizing what she’d almost revealed to Joshua.

  “Until you became the object of her matchmaking?”


  “Right.”

  “Do you know she warned me against Carol years ago?”

  “She did?” Darcy’s estimation of Jesse’s matchmaking skills was rising.

  “Yes, said we weren’t made for each other. And it turns out she was right.”

  “One out of how many?”

  Joshua shrugged. “Who knows? She’s always looking for love for everyone but herself.”

  “Odd, isn’t it?”

  “No, not really. When you’ve been hurt badly by love, some people would just prefer not to experience that feeling again, so they avoid it.”

  “But her marriage was a good one.”

  “Divorce or death can still produce the same kind of hurt. When you hurt because they’re no longer around, it doesn’t much matter how that came to be.”

  “Or when she leaves you at the altar?”

  He checked his watch. “I’d better get moving. I’m in charge of grilling the hamburgers before my lifeguarding duty.”

  Darcy watched Joshua’s retreating, ramrod-straight back. Why was she trying to force the issue with him? She was no more ready for a long-term relationship than he was.

  While the men grilled the food, the women laid the side dishes out on the card tables under the large oak trees in the small field between the church and Sweetwater Lake. Darcy, assisting Lizzy, scanned the gathered crowd.

  “Have you seen Tanya? She said she and Crystal would be coming.” Darcy uncovered the salads and baked beans.

  Lizzy’s brow wrinkled in a deep frown. “She was supposed to bring her brownies everyone loves, but I don’t see them on the dessert table.”

  “I wonder if something happened.”

  “You know Tanya. She’s forgetful and—”

  Her mind racing with all kinds of scenarios, Darcy dropped the spoon and hurried toward Joshua. Reaching his side, she grabbed his arm as he flipped over a hamburger. “Can I borrow the keys to your truck?”

  He took one look at her face and asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “Tanya and Crystal aren’t here. I’m worried. I—”

  Joshua handed the turner to Reverend Collins and started toward his truck. “I’ll drive.”

  “You don’t have to go. I’m probably overreacting.”

  “I want to go. What if something has happened? Remember my paramedic training? Tanya can be fashionably late, but not this late.”

  Now Darcy was alarmed.

  Chapter Eleven

  Joshua made the short drive to Tanya’s house in under ten minutes. The second he stopped, Darcy was out of the truck and running up to the door. She pressed the doorbell and kept ringing.

  What seemed like hours later but was actually only minutes later, Crystal answered the door, tears streaking down her face.

  Darcy clasped both her arms and squatted in front of her. “Oh, baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Mom. She won’t get out of bed to take me to the picnic like she promised.”

  The hammering of Darcy’s heart calmed slightly. “What did she say?”

  The young girl sniffed. “Not much. Just that she was tired. But she’s been sleeping for the past few days almost all the time.”

  Darcy straightened. “I’ll go talk to her and see if I can get her to come with us.”

  Darcy found Tanya lying on her bed, the covers tossed about as though the woman had been wrestling with them. Darcy went to the draperies and opened them to allow bright sunlight into the room. Tanya groaned and covered her head with a pillow.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed next to Tanya, Darcy said, “You have a little girl in the next room crying because you aren’t taking her to the picnic like you promised.”

  “I can’t do anything right, Darcy. It’s just easier to stay in here and not have to deal with things. It’s not worth it anymore. It’s just too much for me to deal with.”

  Darcy felt shaken to her core. It was worse than she had thought. Remembering her own mother and what had happened to her scared Darcy for Tanya. “I don’t talk about this with many people, Tanya, but my mother was bipolar.”

  Tanya stirred, flinging the pillow away and looking at Darcy. “Your mother?”

  “Yes. I know what Crystal’s going through and it’s frightening for a child. She thinks everything that is happening to you is her fault. But it’s not. Something’s wrong. Your medication is not working. You need to go back to the doctor, but you won’t. My mother did the same thing. Finally her illness got the best of her, and I’m the one who found her when she killed herself. Is that what you want for your daughter?” She’d tried kindness. Now she was desperate and hoped tough love would prompt Tanya to get the assistance she needed to control her moods.

  The woman blinked, tears rapidly filling her eyes. “No. I—I—” Her mouth moved but no words came out.

  “You have a choice. You can stay here and feel sorry for yourself or you can get up, get dressed, and let me drive you to the hospital.”

  “Hospital?”

  “I think you need to see a doctor right away, and since it’s a holiday, that’s the best place to go to get help immediately. Obviously things aren’t working out right now. Your antidepressant isn’t doing the trick. I’ll help you if you’ll help yourself. What do you say?” Darcy held her breath, afraid that Tanya would turn away and pull the covers over her head—like her mother had.

  “What about Crystal?”

  “Joshua can take her to the picnic and then to my house afterward. You don’t need to worry about her. I’ll take care of her. The important thing for you is to get help now.”

  Emotions battled in Tanya’s expression. Finally determination glinted in her eyes. She swiped away the tears and scooted to the side of the bed. “You’ll help?”

  “Yes.”

  Slightly dazed, Tanya combed her fingers through her stringy, dirty hair. “I don’t know. I look awful. I need a shower. I haven’t done laundry in days. I can’t go anywhere looking like this.”

  “Get into the shower. I’m sure we can find something for you to wear. I’ll have Joshua go on and take Crystal to the picnic.” Darcy assisted Tanya to her feet. She wasn’t giving Tanya a choice. She wasn’t going to let her end up like her mother. She hadn’t been able to help her mother, but she would Tanya. Then maybe the guilt she felt would go away.

  Darcy strode to the living room and motioned to Joshua, who had been telling Crystal a joke. The child’s laughter died on her lips when she saw Darcy. “Your mother will be fine. I’m going to take her to see the doctor.”

  Worry furrowed the young girl’s brow. “Why?”

  “Her medicine isn’t working. The doctor can help her with that. She wants you to go to the picnic and have fun. Joshua will take you and then afterward you can come to the farm and play with Sean for a while. He could use some help with Lady.”

  Crystal started to say something, but didn’t.

  Darcy kneeled in front of the child’s wheelchair. “Your mother will be all right, honey. Promise.” Because I won’t let anything happen to her, she added silently, her resolve strengthening.

  “I do have a book I want to show Sean.”

  “Go get it. Then you and Joshua can leave.”

  Joshua waited until the child had wheeled herself out of the living room before asking, “Is everything all right?”

  “I’ve convinced Tanya to go to the hospital. Hopefully she will get the help she needs. Her depression is getting worse. Something’s wrong.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay or meet you at the hospital?”

  “We’ll be okay. Crystal needs to go to the picnic. She needs to get out as much as possible, be around friends. I don’t want her upset over her mother. Just take care of her for me.”

  “I can do that.” He moved closer, lifted his hand and brushed his finger across her cheek. “I know your mother was bipolar. Are you okay?”

  His touch sent comforting waves through her. She should have realized Joshua would be perceptive enoug
h to pick up on her own sorrow surrounding her mother. “I won’t sit by and watch Tanya destroy herself if I can do anything to help her. My mother committed suicide because she wouldn’t get the help she needed. I’m gonna make sure Tanya gets help.” She didn’t normally talk about her mother and the way she died, but with Joshua it felt right.

  “Aw, Darcy. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He took her face in his hands, stepping even closer.

  His scent surrounded her in a soothing cocoon. His expression, full of support, nearly undid the composure that she was determined to maintain. Tanya needed a strong friend right now.

  “I know this isn’t the time nor the place, but I’m here for you if you need to talk.”

  The constriction in her throat prevented any words from forming. She leaned closer to him until only a breath separated them. Her lips tingled in anticipation of his kiss.

  “I’m ready, Joshua,” Crystal said from the doorway.

  Darcy jumped away from him as though she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “See you two soon.” Feeling a blush rise to her cheeks, she turned away and headed back toward Tanya’s bedroom.

  She could forget where she was when Joshua turned his charm on her. If this kept up, how was she going to be able to leave in five weeks with her heart intact?

  Only two weeks until Darcy returned to Panama City. Easing down on the ground, Darcy couldn’t believe how fast the summer had flown by. The dapple effect of the sunlight streaming through the trees mesmerized her. She propped herself against an oak, her legs stretched out in front, and watched the play of light on dark. Sounds—the flow of water over rocks, birds chirping, the rustle of leaves—punctuated the quiet. A crow’s call pierced the air. One of the horses lifted her head and looked around, then resumed chewing on some blades of grass.

  Her haven. Made even more special because Joshua was here beside her sharing it with her.

  “I’m going to miss this,” Darcy said, bringing one leg up so she could rest her arm on her knee.

  “I’m going to miss it.” Joshua eased down next to her. “I can’t believe I don’t get sore anymore when we ride.”