Gold in the Fire and Light in the Storm

by Margaret Daley

  “Dinner has arrived,” Joshua announced from the doorway.

  He held several boxes, and the smells drifting to Darcy promised her a delicious meal. Her stomach responded to the aroma of tomatoes, meat and bread by rumbling.

  “I’m hungry. I didn’t realize how much until just now.”

  “It isn’t fried shrimp, but Trenton’s makes a wonderful lasagna with bread sticks and a Caesar salad. And for dessert a chocolate fudge cake that melts in your mouth.”

  Pushing herself to her feet, Darcy chuckled. “You could be a walking advertisement for them.”

  “I eat there several times a month. I’m a regular.” He waved her toward the dining room.

  She passed him and entered the room, coming to a halt a few feet inside the doorway. Before her the table was laid with china, crystal and silverware, all gleaming in the soft candlelight flanking the large bouquet of lilies, carnations and roses of red and white. “I’m impressed.”

  “I thought since I couldn’t actually cook the meal with my own two hands that I could manage to set the table. These were my parents’.” He indicated the dishes and utensils. “I haven’t used them before now.”

  Touched by his gesture, Darcy swallowed several times to clear her throat before saying, “It’s beautiful.”

  Joshua began opening the boxes to put the contents into the serving dishes. “I remember my mother pulling all this out for Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. She insisted on ‘going fancy,’ as she called it, those three times during the year. Every other meal was with our everyday dishes.”

  Darcy’s meals with her parents hadn’t made for happy memories. If her mother showed up, there usually was an argument between her and her father before the food grew cold, especially during the last few years before her death.

  “We had a series of housekeepers. Usually they didn’t last—until Lizzy came along. She’s a trouper. She weathered my mother’s ups and downs, and now my father’s sullen disposition. She’s a part of the family.”

  Joshua pulled the chair back for her to sit. Then he pushed the chair in and unfolded the napkin to lie across her lap.

  “I feel like I’m in a fancy restaurant and not dressed properly. You should have warned me.”

  Joshua eased into the chair next to her. “And spoil my surprise? No way.” His intense gaze held her. “You look great to me.”

  Dressed in a simple sundress with white sandals, she felt his attention riveted to her. From the expression in his eyes, she knew she was the only woman in the world. Long ago she had given up hope of ever being cherished by a man. But now Joshua was making her wish she wasn’t leaving Sweetwater next week. He teased her with all the possibilities—if only they had more time to get to know each other, if only she wasn’t so afraid, if only he wasn’t still dealing with his emotions concerning Carol.

  Seize the moment, Darcy O’Brien. She shoved her doubts and concerns to the back recesses of her mind. She would enjoy this evening and the man she was with. She would let him make her feel special for this one night, and she would cherish the memory.

  “At least you didn’t greet me at the door with a tux on. That would have sent me running back home to change.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t own a tux. If I had my way, I wouldn’t even own a suit. I feel like I’m suffocating when I wear a tie.”

  “That’s the way my dad feels. Does any man like to wear a tie?”

  Joshua shrugged, then passed her the crystal bowl with the salad in it. “Beats me. Not the ones I hang with.”

  After dishing up the greens, Darcy took the platter with the lasagna and spooned a large portion onto her dinner plate. “I can’t believe this is still hot.” Selecting a warm bread stick, she gave the bowl to Joshua.

  “It helps that Trenton’s is only five minutes away and that I’m such a good customer.”

  “And Sam Trenton goes to our church.”

  “Not to mention his daughter is in my Sunday school class.”

  Darcy filled her fork with some lasagna and slid it into her mouth. Ground beef, tomatoes, noodles and several different cheeses all mixed together deliciously. “Mmm. My compliments to the chef.”

  “I’ll tell Sam the next time I see him.” Joshua bit into a bread stick. “I did make the iced tea.”

  “Will wonders never cease?” Darcy tasted the raspberry-flavored tea. “Mmm. My compliments to the chef.”

  He inclined his head. “Thank you.”

  For the next few minutes Darcy ate, savoring the different favors and aromas. The soft candlelight and the elegant table setting lent an intimate atmosphere to the dinner. She became transfixed by the movement of Joshua’s mouth as he chewed. Fantasies played across her mind, making heat rise to her cheeks. She looked down at her nearly empty plate.

  “I guess this Sunday will be our last time to teach together at church.”

  She looked up at him. “You’re right. I hadn’t realized.” Hadn’t wanted to think about it.

  “I’m gonna have to find someone to replace you. Any suggestions?”

  No! The thought of someone replacing her bothered her. “Maybe Jesse.” Even that suggestion made her frown. Jesse was single and would be great for Joshua. Darcy should be happy if they both were happy. But she wasn’t.

  “She would be good. I’ll have to ask her this week. With my schedule I need a partner. There are Sundays I can’t come because of work.”

  Partner. She’d always wanted to be an equal partner with someone. She’d hoped her marriage would be that way. It hadn’t been, and now she didn’t know if that would ever be possible. Someone always wanted to dominate—at least from her experience with Clay and her father.

  But Joshua never has, a little voice inside her retorted. That was different. They weren’t married—just teaching a class together—being friends. Is it really that different? the voice challenged.

  Joshua scooted back his chair. “Wait here. I understand presentation is everything.” He hurried into the kitchen with the last container from Trenton’s.

  Scanning the now empty dining room, Darcy realized she would miss Joshua more than she cared to admit. Sean would miss him, too. This was the reason she hadn’t wanted to pursue a friendship with him—

  Who was she kidding? Their relationship was beyond friendship and that was the problem.

  “Ta-da!” Joshua produced two plates with pieces of the thick chocolate cake, caramel drizzled over them in a design. A few raspberries with a sprig of mint finished off the creation. He placed her dessert in front of her, then sat. “Well, what do you think?”

  His eagerness made her smile as she sliced into the cake and sampled it. “I’ll have to tell Sam the next time I see him how delicious this is.”

  “No, the presentation. I saw a cooking show and got the idea for this from it.”

  “And they say you can’t learn anything from television.” Her smile grew. “You did good.” She took another bite, enjoying the rich chocolate mixed with caramel, one of her favorite combinations.

  “When you’re stuck in a motel room in a strange town, there isn’t much else to do except watch what’s on TV.”

  “I find it strange that you’re watching a cooking show when you don’t cook.”

  “I don’t have to cook to appreciate the food being prepared.”

  When she finished off the last bit of her dessert, she said, “You’ve got the presentation part down pat.”

  “That and the tea are my personal touches. Do you want any coffee?”

  “No. I don’t drink as much coffee in the summer as I do in the winter.”

  “Then let’s retire to the living room.” He rose, putting his linen napkin on the table next to his plate.

  “How about all this?” She motioned to the dishes left.

  “You’re my guest. I’ll clean up later.”

  “Our bet said nothing about you having to clean up without some help.”

  “It’s all part of the package, especially
since you insisted on driving yourself to my house.” He waved her toward the living room.

  Darcy took a seat on the couch. “I have to pick up Sean at Nate’s later.”

  “I could have done that.”

  “I know. But you’ve been away, and you have to work tomorrow.”

  When Joshua sat, he seemed to take up most of what was left of the couch. He was only inches from her and she felt the temperature rise.

  “When do you have to get Sean?”

  She glanced at her watch. “Soon,” she said through dry lips. She ran her tongue over them and moistened her throat.

  “When are we going to talk about us?”

  “Us?” she squeaked, gulping.

  “You know perfectly well what I’m talking about. We have something going on between us.”

  “What about Carol?”

  “She’s history.”

  “Is she, Joshua?”

  “She’s married. What do you think?”

  “I think you still haven’t dealt with her betrayal. You’ve avoided even thinking about her.”

  “Why should I think about her? She isn’t part of my life anymore.”

  His defensive tone underscored Darcy’s point. “When we went to Northland for lumber you were upset because Carol’s husband was the manager. You have to deal with your past before you can really move on.”

  “Have you dealt with yours?”

  “My father and I have come to terms.”

  “How about your feelings concerning your husband?”

  Darcy stiffened.

  “Just as I thought. You haven’t dealt with Clay and the problems you two were having when he died.”

  “Why are you bringing this up now? Pushing me?”

  Joshua surged to his feet and began pacing in front of the couch, rubbing his thumbs across the pads of his fingers. Then he stroked his jaw. “Because I don’t want you to leave, but I realize I can’t ask you to stay, either. Your job and your life is in Panama City.” He came to a halt in front of her. “Yes, I can ask you to stay. I don’t want you to leave yet. I care about you, Darcy.”

  Panic took hold of her. She craned her neck to look into his eyes, so full of uncertainty. She opened her mouth to reply, couldn’t think of anything to say that made any sense, and snapped it closed.

  “I want to see if we have a chance. Long-distance relationships are difficult at best. Won’t you consider moving back to Sweetwater?”

  There was a part of her that wanted to shout yes, but her defenses, put there by years of trying to be the perfect person for her father and husband, silenced her. “This is so sudden.”

  He kneeled and clasped her hands. “We’ve only begun to get to know each other. Don’t leave next week.”

  “I need to pick up Sean. We can talk later. It’s not something that I can rush into.” So many emotions flew through her at the moment that she didn’t know what she was feeling. She was confused, adrift. Joshua teased her with what might be, but neither one was really ready for the future. She couldn’t afford that kind of risk. She had Sean to think about, not just herself.

  He squeezed her hands, bringing them up to touch his chest where his heart lay beneath. “Come a little early to church on Sunday. We can talk then.” He rose, releasing her.

  Sunday was only a few days away. How was she supposed to make that kind of decision in such a short time? Stay and we’ll see if things work out. Too risky.

  She snatched up her purse and walked to the door. Her hand shook as she reached for the knob. Joshua gripped it at the same time she did and they touched. She pulled back, feeling burned, shocked by the electrical sensation streaking up her arm.

  He had the ability to make her dream of more.

  He had the ability to break her heart.

  “Good night. The dinner was delicious.” She escaped through the open doorway before she did something she would regret. She couldn’t stay in Sweetwater, could she?

  Perspiration drenched Darcy’s face and neck, stinging her eyes. Quickly she lifted an arm to wipe her forehead with the sleeve of her shirt, then immediately returned her hand to help soothe the pain and panic reflected in Moonstruck’s eyes, big and brown and dilated.

  “You’ll be all right, girl,” Darcy whispered near the mare’s ear. She wished she believed those words, but she felt dread. Moonstruck was one of her favorite horses at Shamrock Stables.

  The mare tried to get up, but Darcy held her down while she looked back at the vet who was slowly pulling the foal from Moonstruck. Darcy brushed back damp strands of hair from her face, her gaze still trained on the vet while he attended the limp form of the foal, its glistening body barely moving.

  Her worry intensified. She’d seen too much death in the past year. She felt as though a part of her was slipping away too. This foal has to live! Please, dear Lord, breathe life into him.

  An hour later Darcy walked from the stall in the barn totally exhausted, glad that she hadn’t gotten her son up for the birth as she had promised. Too many things had gone wrong from the beginning. She’d known Moonstruck would have a difficult time and she’d wanted to protect Sean from the sad reality that some foals die.

  Outside she paused in the early morning and kneaded the side of her neck and shoulder, but her muscles had been coiled so tightly from the past few hours that massage did little to relieve her tension. The hot August air blasted her even though dawn had barely painted the sky with its pinks and oranges. The stifling humidity pressed in on her as she inhaled deeply, releasing the breath on a long sigh. The odors of hay, leather and horses laced the heated air, the familiar smells a reminder that her duty here would be ending when she left in a few days.

  Arching her back, Darcy rolled her shoulders. She looked toward the main house but couldn’t bring herself to take the first step toward it, to inform her father that they had lost a foal. Instead, she allowed her gaze to travel over the yard again, noting with satisfaction that the grooms were beginning their daily chores.

  This was her home, her heritage. Could she move back to the farm and see where her relationship with Joshua would lead? He offered no promises, but he wanted to give them a chance. What did she want?

  God give me a sign. Help me to decide what is best for everyone.

  Fatigue urged her forward with leaden steps. She had to speak with her father before getting ready for church. He didn’t like surprises, and she hadn’t informed him that Moonstruck went into labor a little early. He’d been working so hard lately that she hadn’t wanted him to miss his sleep, especially when she had discovered the foal was breech. As with Sean, she had wanted to protect her father for as long as she could.

  Pushing open the back door, Darcy strode through the kitchen toward the dining room, briefly greeting Lizzy who was starting breakfast. The scent of coffee filled the air, prodding Darcy toward the pot set near her father at the long table.

  “Where have you been?” Her father brought his cup to his mouth and drank.

  Darcy poured herself some coffee and sank into the chair nearby. “At the barn.” She sucked in a fortifying breath and continued. “Moonstruck delivered her foal early this morning.”

  Her father put down his cup, a storm beginning to brew in the depths of his eyes. “Why didn’t you come get me? Everything okay?”

  Darcy shook her head. “We lost the foal. The vet said Moonstruck is fine, though.”

  Shamus shot to his feet, nearly toppling his chair. “And you didn’t think I should have been there?” Anger marked his features and his words.

  Slowly, because her legs trembled, Darcy stood. “No, I thought you needed your sleep more. There was nothing you could do that the vet or I didn’t do. Dad, you may have forgotten, but I haven’t. You had a heart attack two months ago. I came home to help relieve the stress and workload for you so you could fully recover. If you hadn’t wanted me to manage the farm, then why did you agree to me coming back?”

  Her father blinked as though her words h
ad caught him by surprise. “Every birth is important.”

  “Yes, I know that, but you don’t have to be at every one of them.”

  He drew himself up tall. “I always have been.”

  “You haven’t really changed, have you?” Had she been fooling herself into believing she and her father could get along and run the farm together?

  “You have. You never used to speak to me like this.”

  “Tell you what I’m feeling, what I think? No, I guess I didn’t.” Tired, disappointed, she grabbed for the cup to take it with her. “I’m going to get dressed. I have a Sunday school class to teach and a son to inform about the foal.”

  Darcy walked ahead of Sean, her father and Lizzy toward the church. She’d told Joshua she would come early so they could talk, but the last thing she felt like doing was having a serious discussion about her future, especially after her talk with Sean about Moonstruck and the foal. Her mind felt like mush and her body wasn’t doing much better. Losing a foal on top of a night’s sleep could do that to a person.

  Maybe seeing Joshua’s handsome face would cheer her up. She lengthened her strides toward the last classroom down the long hall.

  “You will not believe the morning I’ve—” Darcy’s words died on her lips as she entered the room.

  Standing several feet apart were Joshua and Carol. She held a baby in her arms, patting him on his back, while Joshua scowled, his hands balled at his sides.

  Darcy wished she could snatch her words back and silently exit the room before either one knew she had come in. No such luck. They both turned their attention toward her. The anguish she saw in Joshua’s eyes made her own emotions swell inside her and threaten to choke off her next breath. In that moment she knew that she would never settle for anything less than having all of a man. She had settled all her life. She would not do that again. If Joshua wasn’t over Carol, then how could they see where their relationship was heading?