Gold in the Fire and Light in the Storm

by Margaret Daley

  From the expression in her eyes, he realized her conflicting emotions raged inside as his did. She touched her mouth, rubbing her fingertips across her lips as he had done only a moment before. As he wanted to do again. He took another step back, shocked at the direction his thoughts were taking him—away from Ruth, his high school sweetheart.

  He could not place his heart in jeopardy again. Beth was leaving in a few months—she had made that very clear from the beginning. He still loved his wife, even if she was gone. He couldn’t betray those feelings so easily. Easily? He laughed silently at that thought. There was nothing easy about the war waging inside him. Beth made him feel like a man again. She made him feel whole, as though the fragmented parts that had split with Ruth’s death were coming together.

  He wouldn’t apologize for the kiss, but he did say, “I shouldn’t have done that. I—I’d better go.”

  She didn’t stop him when he turned to leave. Her gaze pierced him as he headed toward the door. Outside on her porch the cool spring air flowed over him, carrying on its breeze the scent of newly blooming hyacinths from the bed in front of her house.

  Why had he kissed her?

  He didn’t want to ruin their friendship. What if he had? He thought of their talks over the past few months and didn’t know what he would do if she avoided him because of the kiss.

  But too quickly summer would be here and she would be gone. Maybe it was for the best they kept their distance. As he walked toward his car he turned to the Lord, as he was doing more and more of late for guidance.

  “Are you mad at Samuel?” Zoey asked while standing back and watching the children pour into the rec hall right after choir practice Wednesday evening.

  Beth glanced at her friend. “Mad? What gave you that idea?”

  “Usually you two are talking constantly with each other. Tonight you haven’t exchanged one word and only one look that I could tell. Something’s going on.”

  Beth stepped away from the children gathering to surprise Crystal. Tanya was going to wheel her daughter into the room on the pretext she had forgotten something at the piano. Beth leaned toward Zoey and whispered, “He kissed me the other night.”

  “That’s great!”

  “Shh.” Beth glanced about, making sure no one heard Zoey’s remark. Thankfully everyone’s attention, even Darcy’s and Jesse’s was on the door into the rec hall. “No, it isn’t a good thing. I’m leaving in a few months. Everything’s settled except getting my passport in the mail, getting my physical and shots and packing.”

  “Beth, it’s okay to do something spontaneous. You always have your life planned down to the last detail. Falling in love doesn’t work that way.”

  “He kissed me. That’s all. Who said anything about falling in love?” Beth could hear the panic in her voice and knew by the arched eyebrow that Zoey had, too. Again Beth looked around, hoping no one was listening. She was having a tough time explaining this to Zoey, let alone anyone else.

  The children searched for hiding places while Jesse turned off the lights and told everyone to be quiet.

  Zoey sidled closer to Beth and brought her hand up to shield her lips while she whispered, “I’ve seen you two together. You’re perfect. That’s why when you didn’t speak to him on Sunday after the church service as you usually do, I knew something was up. You two actually avoided each other. Then tonight the same thing happened.”

  “Shh. You don’t want to spoil the surprise for Crystal.”

  “I’m not through discussing this, Beth Coleman.”

  “Yeah. That’s what I’m afraid of.”

  Tanya opened the door to the rec hall and wheeled Crystal in. Someone snickered.

  “Gee, Crystal, it’s sure dark in here. I’d better turn on the light or I’m bound to run you into something.” Tanya flipped the switch.

  The children jumped up from behind chairs and the couch and yelled, “Surprise!”

  Crystal’s features lit with a big grin. She moved herself into the center of the room, scanning the group converging on her.

  Craig playfully slugged Sean. “You almost blew the surprise.”

  Sean’s face turned beet-red. “I couldn’t help it. Cindy bet me I couldn’t keep quiet.”

  “And you didn’t. You lose.” Cindy stepped around Sean and handed Crystal her present.

  All the other kids began stacking gifts onto Crystal’s lap until she giggled and said, “Uncle! No more. I can’t see over the presents.” One slid off her lap and thudded to the tile floor.

  Jesse ran over to the fourteen-year-old, picked up the dropped gift and relieved her of some of the other wrapped boxes.

  Beth watched the exchange, so glad the party was a success. She noticed tears gathering in Tanya’s eyes as she looked on the scene. A lump lodged in Beth’s throat, and she turned away before she, too, started to cry. Her gaze found Samuel in the doorway with Allie in front of him, his hand on her shoulder. Allie held a present, but hadn’t made a move toward Crystal yet. Samuel said something to Allie, then looked directly at Beth.

  Across the room she felt the connection as though it were a physical link that bound them. She experienced their kiss all over again, an awareness shivering down her spine, her pulse racing, her lips tingling. All this from a mere look!

  She was in deeper than she had originally thought. He affected her on so many different levels—all dangerous to her carefully made plans and dreams of the future.

  “Are you going to stand there and ignore our minister all night?” Zoey whispered, giving her a gentle shove toward him.

  “I have a job to do. I have to dish up the ice cream in a few minutes and you have to cut the cake to serve with the ice cream.”

  “Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me.” Zoey scurried across the room toward Samuel.

  Beth shook her head. Sometimes her friends could be so annoying. Usually it was Jesse who tried to fix people up, not Zoey. Well, she would be gone soon and then she wouldn’t have to worry about that. But for some reason the thought of traveling and seeing some of the world didn’t perk her up as it should have.

  While Crystal opened her presents Beth made her way toward the kitchen to get the ice cream from the freezer. She heard the child’s laughter and it filled her heart with joy. She would miss the chance to teach Crystal in a few years. For that matter, she wouldn’t be instructing any of her friends’ children. She hadn’t really thought about that until now.

  In the kitchen Beth paused, thinking that her mind was in turmoil too much lately. Change was good—she needed change. Her life had become so predictable and dull. She could serve the Lord and see the world. Great solution. Great plan.

  With her resolve firmed, she walked to the counter. Rummaging in the drawer, she found the ice cream scoop and withdrew it.

  She started to shut the drawer when she heard Samuel say, “Hold it. I need the cake slicer.”

  Zoey! She should have figured her friend was up to something when she hurried over to Samuel. Beth rolled her eyes toward the ceiling, then grabbed the utensil for him, berating Zoey the whole time. She was definitely getting as bad as Jesse. If she was going to be around long enough, she would love to give Zoey a taste of her own medicine. She could think of a few men she could fix Zoey up with.

  With the cake slicer in hand, Beth spun about to give it to Samuel and almost stabbed him in the chest because of his proximity. She jerked back, murmuring, “I’m sorry.” The utensil clanged to the kitchen counter next to Beth. “I didn’t know you were there.”

  He grinned. “I thought you heard me approach. I meant to reach around you and get the cake slicer.”

  She’d been so lost in thought about what Zoey had done that she hadn’t heard a thing. Her friends were making her crazy. No, that wasn’t quite right. Her seesawing emotions concerning Samuel were making her crazy. She needed to get a handle on things. Their relationship needed to get back to the way it was last month or even last week before “the kiss.”

 
“Thankfully no harm was done.” Her breathing shallow, Beth pushed the drawer closed and placed several feet between them.

  He stared at her, his gaze roaming over her features in a leisurely examination that only made her more self-conscious. The silence in the kitchen, which lengthened uncomfortably, was broken only by an occasional loud laugh from the rec hall.

  Not taking her gaze from him, she shifted from one foot to the other, her mouth so parched she was afraid a gallon of water wouldn’t satisfy her. “Are you slicing the cake?” She asked the first thing that popped into her mind. Duh, Beth, of course he was, or why else would he be getting the cake slicer?

  “Yes. Zoey said something about retrieving some items from her car for the party.”

  Yeah, she just bet her friend had “some items” in her car. She would be curious to see what Zoey managed to scrounge up. “Then I guess we’d better get out there before the natives get restless.”

  Crystal finished opening her last present as Beth and Samuel emerged from the kitchen. Jesse, Darcy and Tanya all smiled toward Beth as though they knew a secret no one else did.

  “It’s time for cake and ice cream,” Tanya announced.

  “Let’s sing happy birthday to Crystal first.” Jesse waved the group of children toward the table where the cake was.

  After everyone gathered around with Crystal in the center, the kids launched into the song, yelling and clapping at the end. The huge grin hadn’t left Crystal’s face the whole time.

  “I think that’s our cue to cut and scoop.” Beth put some chocolate ice cream on the plate next to the first piece of chocolate cake with white frosting, then handed it to Crystal.

  For the next ten minutes Beth scooped ice cream while Samuel stood next to her only a few inches away and sliced pieces of cake for all the children and grownups. The rec hall grew quiet as everyone found a place to sit and eat their treat.

  “There are two pieces left. Do you want the one with a lot of frosting or the other one?” Samuel slid the cake with extra frosting, because it was a corner piece, onto one of the pink princess paper plates.

  “I should say the one without much frosting, but I won’t. I love the frosting the most.” Beth lifted the scoop filled with ice cream. “Want any?”

  He nodded. “I can’t pass up chocolate.”

  After she gave him what he had requested, she looked about for a chair to sit in. The only place available was the bench in the alcove or the floor. She headed for the alcove at the same time Samuel did. He glanced at her, then at the bench and shrugged.

  After he eased onto the bench next to Beth, he said, “You know we need to talk about it.”

  “‘It’ meaning…?” She knew very well what he was referring to, but she wasn’t going to be the one to say the word.

  “The kiss. I’m not sorry I kissed you.”

  When she allowed herself to think about it, she wasn’t either. But the kiss did complicate their relationship, which she was desperately trying to keep as simple as possible. “I’m not either, but where do we go from here?”

  “I guess it’s hard to go back to the way things were before I kissed you.”

  “Yes.”

  “To tell you the truth, Beth, I don’t know the answer to that question. Maybe you should forget the kiss.”

  Forget the kiss? That could possibly be one of the hardest things she’d had to do in a long time. But because he was acting so casual about the kiss, Beth said, “Sure. We’re friends, and friends kiss each other from time to time.” Yeah, right, Beth. If you keep saying that, you might convince yourself of the truth in that statement when the sun burns out.

  Samuel murmured something that sounded like a yes. He stuffed the last bite of cake into his mouth and rose. “I need to see how the adult choir practice is coming along. Bye.”

  He hurried away so quickly he didn’t hear her say goodbye. It was just as well. If they had talked any more about kissing, she was afraid sweat would have beaded her brow and rolled down her face. How would she have explained that, when the hall was cool?

  Samuel escaped from the rec hall before he did something crazy like kiss Beth in front of his parishioners. How did he think he could calmly talk about the kiss and not want to do it again? Especially since the past few days that kiss had dominated his thoughts.

  She was leaving soon. He couldn’t risk getting hurt—not again. He was just beginning to piece his life back together—partially due to the presence of Beth in his life as well as his family’s. He had recited those same reasons not to get involved with Beth so many times over the past few days he wanted to pound something in frustration.

  With a groan Samuel leaned back against the hall’s wooden doors. He was in big trouble. He was afraid his heart was already involved with Beth to the point that he was going to be hurt when she left Sweetwater. Staying away from her was probably the best plan for him. He walked toward the sanctuary. He needed to feel close to God. He needed His help.

  “What do you mean you haven’t seen Samuel in several weeks except at church?”

  Beth lifted the cup of coffee to her lips and took a drink. “Exactly that, Jesse. He’s never around when I go to tutor Jane and the couple of times I’ve been at the church other than Sunday he hasn’t been there, or at least I haven’t seen him there.”

  Jesse shifted in the booth at Alice’s Café, glancing out the picture window at the main street of Sweetwater. “It sounds like he’s avoiding you.”

  “You think?”

  Her friend frowned. “And you said it began after he kissed you and then tried to talk to you about that kiss?”

  “Correct.” Beth folded her arms and placed them on the table between her and Jesse.

  “It’s obvious. He’s got cold feet.”

  “I know that. Jesse, I might not date a lot, but I do know what’s going on here. And truthfully, Samuel’s doing the right thing. Our relationship was heading toward more than friendship, and that isn’t a good thing.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m committed to leaving in seven weeks and Samuel is committed to the memory of his deceased wife.”

  “Are you so sure about that? He kissed you!”

  “One simple little kiss.” She wasn’t about to tell Jesse that to her it hadn’t been a simple or little kiss. After all, her friend was the town matchmaker. Beth caught sight of Zoey and Tanya opening the door to the café and added, “Not another word, please. I only told you about the kiss so you’d quit bugging me about Samuel.”

  “Fine. My lips are sealed.” Jesse made a motion of turning a key by her mouth. “Even though I think we could all put our heads together and come up with a plan for you.”

  Beth growled her frustration as Darcy called out to Zoey and Tanya to hold the door. Darcy wheeled in a stroller with Rebecca in it, sound asleep, looking the spitting image of Joshua.

  When the three ladies began settling into the oversize booth, Beth said, “I won’t be able to stay too long. I’m tutoring Jane this afternoon. She has a research project due next week and we’ve been working extra to get it in. Let me sit on the outside.” She slid across and stood while the others situated themselves.

  Darcy winked. “Are you sure that’s the only reason you spend so much time over at the reverend’s house? I’ve gone by several times and have seen your car parked in the driveway.”

  “I don’t see Samuel. He’s been very busy lately. I’m seeing Jane,” Beth said through clenched teeth.

  Tanya took the menu lying on the table and flipped it open. “Yeah, he keeps going to the prison to try and get Tom to meet with him. Tom’s refusing ever since that first meeting last month.”

  “Tanya, I’m so sorry. I know how much you were hoping that Tom would listen to reason.” Darcy moved the blanket, revealing Rebecca in a cute pink dress with bunnies on it.

  “The divorce is going through and there isn’t anything to be done. Tom’s turned away from God. That breaks my heart.”


  “Maybe when he’s not so angry he’ll find the Lord again.” Beth checked her watch and rose. “I’d better get a move on. Sorry to cut this short, but some of you were late.”

  “With three kids it’s hard to be on time for anything,” Zoey said with a laugh. “And I brought Tanya, so that was why she was late.”

  Darcy gestured toward Rebecca. “She’s my reason.”

  “That’s okay. Beth and I discussed the men in our lives.”

  “Jesse, there are no men in my life unless you count my two brothers.”

  “Oh, yes, I’d forgotten. You haven’t been dating anyone.”

  The twinkle in Jesse’s eyes almost made Beth stay. She was afraid the second she left she and Samuel would be the subject of conversation at the table. “I’ve gone out a few times with Samuel. That’s all. No big deal.” She turned quickly away from her friends and headed for the door. She didn’t want to dig a hole any deeper by staying and debating that with them.

  Ten minutes later she arrived at Samuel’s house and Jane greeted her at the door with a huge smile on her face.

  “I don’t have much left to do. I worked this morning. Ryan has asked me to go to the movies with him and some of his friends. Dad said yes so long as I was in a group.”

  Beth entered the house. “Your dad is here?” The second the question was out of her mouth she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying anything else.

  “Yes, he’s in his office writing the sermon for tomorrow.”

  Beth wanted to ask, “And he knew I was coming?” but refrained from making her interest too obvious. And she was definitely interested in Samuel, no matter what she had told herself or him earlier. Just the mention of his name sent her heart thudding against her chest.

  Jane walked toward the dining room, where she had set up her work and the laptop she was composing on.

  For the next hour Beth helped Jane hone the final draft of her research paper for history. Every sound coming from the direction of the office caused Beth to tense as though Samuel would walk into the room any second and change her whole world. By the time Jane printed out her final copy of the paper, Beth had drunk two tall glasses of water to moisten her parched throat and mouth.