With You (A Novella)

by J. M. Walker

  “Oh I plan on it, Baby Boy.” A wicked grin spread on her face.

  My cock twitched. “Fuck, I can’t wait.”

  As if she knew, her gaze dropped to my lap, her tongue peeking out to lick along her bottom lip. “Apparently something else can’t wait either.”

  A laugh boomed through me. “You have this way, Little Lamb.”

  Meadow only giggled, snuggling into me.

  We ate the rest of our dinner in a peaceful silence, only to be reminded of how far we had come. We had our moments, our issues, our good days and bad days. But even though that was the case, our love grew day by day. For Andrew. For each other. And for our unborn baby and future babies. I couldn’t thank Meadow enough for not giving up on me and for sticking by my side. No matter how hard it had been.

  Meadow

  I was beyond full from the pizza we had for dinner, I needed to spend the next month working it off. Or fuck my husband’s brains out. That would be preferable.

  “What are you thinking about?” Shade asked as we walked hand in hand. He had taken me to the Toledo Botanical Gardens. It was one of the things the city was known for. He originally wanted to take me out for drinks and dancing but now we that we found out I was pregnant; he didn’t want to chance something happening.

  I didn’t need a blood test to know. I knew for a fact I was pregnant. My breasts had been hurting off and on, my stomach didn’t like anything I had eaten. Except for the pizza so far. I was moodier but I had assumed at first it was because the anniversary of Sunny’s death that was coming up.

  “I’m just thinking about this baby,” I told Shade.

  He stopped us near a bench, sitting down before pulling me onto his lap. “I love you and will take care of you, Andrew, and this baby for the rest of our lives.”

  “I know you will.” I hooked an arm around his shoulders, holding onto him and taking the very strength from him that I needed. We already had Andrew, so having another baby wouldn’t be overly new but a part of me still wondered if we were ready for more children.

  “What is it?” Shade asked gently, running his hand in circles over my upper back.

  “Are we ready?” I hesitated. “I mean, for more children.”

  “Why wouldn’t we be? We’re married. We both have stable jobs. Andrew is getting old enough, he can practically take care of himself already.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “He’s such a little man.”

  “He is and he’s going to grow up to do amazing things. Even though Sunny is no longer here, I can see him so much in Andrew, it’s unreal.”

  A sigh left me, knowing the truth was about to come out. We never talked about who Andrew’s actual father was. But now that he was getting older, he looked more and more like Sunny with each passing day, it was like Sunny never actually died.

  “I think it’s meant to be.”

  I looked at my husband then. “You do?”

  He nodded. “Sunny died so Andrew could be born. He saved your life. Both of your lives.”

  I threw my arms around Shade’s neck, the tears finally falling free. “I love you so fucking much.”

  “I love you, Little Lamb. I love Andrew.” He placed a hand on my stomach. “And I already love our unborn baby.” His mouth found mine, kissing me slowly.

  “As Andrew gets older, I feel closer to Sunny,” I murmured, running my hand through his dark hair.

  Shade gave me a small smile. “Me too, baby. Me too.”

  ***

  (Shade)

  We never talked about it. Who Andrew’s real father was. But now that it finally came out, it was like a sense of relief had washed over me. I knew for a while that Andrew wasn’t technically mine. Not by blood anyway. But it didn’t matter to me. I wouldn’t love him any less. I wouldn’t love our unborn baby, who was in fact mine in every sense of the word, more. They were equal and I would treat them as such.

  Meadow and I walked around the gardens for another hour before we made our way back to the hotel. She had been quiet, only saying a few words here and there.

  While she was in the bathroom, I sent her father a quick text, asking how the plans were going for the surprise I had for her. He responded that we were right on track. I couldn’t wait to see her face when it was revealed what I had planned for her and I.

  But for now, I was going to take my wife to a club like she had been begging for years. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I knew if Meadow’s hints were any indication, her domination over me would probably be something we explored more of.

  “We’re almost there,” I told her, cupping her inner thigh.

  “So, should I give you a safeword or something?” she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice but there was also something else there. Nerves? I wasn’t sure but when I glanced her way and found her looking out the window, I wondered if maybe she was having second thoughts about this.

  “We can worry about that when we get there,” I told her.

  “Shade?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.” She looked at me then. “For everything.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, Little Lamb. I’m your husband. It’s my job to take care of you. To provide for you, Andrew, and this unborn baby.” When the large building that we would be spending the night at came into view, my cock twitched. “But tonight, we aren’t parents. We are husband and wife.”

  Meadow brought my hand up to her mouth, kissing my knuckles. “No, Shade. We are Mistress and sub.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered, my dick pushing against the fly of my jeans.

  She giggled, curling her fingers in mine. “I’ve been looking forward to this. I know with Andrew, we don’t have a lot of time alone. I also know that we can’t go as rough as we like but I think no matter how gentle I am, you’ll still feel me for days.”

  “Geezus, Meadow. You can’t say shit like this to me.” I gave myself a shake.

  Her laugh deepened. “I love you, baby.”

  “And I love you. You have no idea how much I love you.”

  “Hmm...tell me.”

  I chuckled, pulling the car into the large parking lot. The brick building which resembled more of an estate, sat back on top of a hill. It overlooked a property surrounded by trees. Memories came rushing back of the last time I was here. It had been with Sunny. I wanted to ask him to use me for the night, but I had been too nervous. Not knowing at the time that he was also attracted to me, we spent the night having drinks instead.

  “Shade?”

  I jumped, my head whipping around.

  Meadow stared at me with a frown between her brows. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s weird being back here. I thought...” My voice cracked, sending a flutter of anxiety rushing through me. “It’s just weird.”

  She nodded. “What do you think he would say if he were still here?”

  I grunted. “He would tell me to hurry up, park the damn car so we could fuck our wife.”

  “He really loved that word,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, he did.” I parked the car, killing the engine before turning toward her. “But he loved you more. I’m still in awe of you, Meadow. I know it’s been years, but I often think back to when we first met. You weren’t jealous at all. You never felt like you were being left out or anything.”

  “I had no reason to. You and Sunny were together before you ever met me.”

  “No.” I cupped her cheek. “We were together because of you. You gave us both that push to reveal our feelings. You helped us realize that what we had was normal. Even though we had issues communicating, you helped us get over our fear of being together.”

  Her eyes welled. “I didn’t do anything.” She sniffed. “I have an old voicemail from him that I replay when I’m missing him. It doesn’t help a whole lot. I also kept all his text messages and took screenshots of them, so I can save them.”

  Moving my hand to the back of her head, I fisted her hair and crushed my mouth to hers. “I have old
texts and voicemails from him too.” I leaned my forehead against hers.

  A shuddered breath left her. “Let’s go, Shade. I need my husband.”

  ***

  (Meadow)

  While Shade grabbed our bags, I stared up at the large building standing before us. It had vinery up the sides of it, the bricks a dark brown. Trees of all shapes and sizes, sat behind it. The place was basic but beautiful.

  A warm mouth pressed against my temple. “Ready, baby?”

  I took a deep breath, smiling up at Shade and nodding. “I am.” Truth was, I was nervous but excited. I had never dominated Shade. Not in the way we both wanted. Sunny had always been the dominating type. I could still hear his voice whenever he had called me ‘Pet.’ I realized something then. “Shade?”

  He looked down at me over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

  “How come you don’t call me ‘Pet?’”

  He gave me a small smile. “Because that was Sunny’s term for you. I know I called you it a couple of times when he was alive but now that he’s gone, it just seems fitting to let the term go with him.”

  “Oh okay.” I went up to Shade, hooking my arm in his. “That makes sense.”

  “Good.” He kissed the top of my head. “Now let’s go. This wolf is hungry for his Little Lamb.”

  A shiver rippled down the length of my spine with what was to come. As we neared the front door of the large building, my body vibrated with a need for my husband. It was like the closer we got to doing what we both had been wanting for awhile, the more I became excited and turned on.

  When we stepped into the estate, I couldn’t help but notice how it didn’t look like there was a BDSM club within it at all.

  Shade checked us in, and I went up to a wall that held black and white pictures of some of the most sensual and erotic pictures I had ever seen.

  “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

  I jumped, finding a woman standing a few feet away from me. She had long brown hair that fell in waves around her shoulders, the ends just short of hitting her tailbone. Her eyes met mine, a small smile spreading on her face. She was fingering a black collar around her throat.

  My stomach tumbled.

  While Shade and I didn’t live the lifestyle religiously, I read, and I knew what that collar meant. She was owned. By someone. God, just the idea of having Shade’s collar around my throat, sent a ripple of pleasure throughout every inch of me. But I wondered at the same time, what would it be like for him to wear my collar?

  “They are beautiful,” I finally said, looking back at the wall of pictures. My eyes landed on one with a man’s hand wrapped around a slender throat. You couldn’t see any faces in any of the pictures, but I had a feeling that they were all the same models.

  “It’s the same woman in every picture. Sometimes her husband joined her, but he liked taking pictures of her instead,” she explained. “That’s why there’s more of just her.”

  “He’s very talented,” I said as Shade came up beside me.

  “We’re all checked in, Meadow.” He leaned down to my ear. “I’m ready for you.”

  My breath caught. “Enjoy the rest of your day,” I told the woman.

  She nodded. “You too.”

  Shade led us down a long hall until we reached a set of elevators. “Who was that?”

  “I don’t know. She was telling me about the pictures. I think she’s a sub.”

  “Look at you, knowing the lingo.” He chuckled.

  I rolled my eyes. “I read books, Shade.” It also wasn’t hard to figure out that sub was short for submissive.

  His laughed deepened. “Books are nothing like the real thing.” He winked. “Trust me.”

  “Oh I know.” I laughed. “I tried Googling but that hasn’t overly helpful. I’d rather learn from you anyway.”

  Shade waggled his eyebrows. “I’m down for teaching.”

  I giggled, shaking my head. “Then teach away, Baby Boy. Teach me how to dominate you,” I said, stepping in front of him and backing up.

  A wicked grin spread on his face. “I don’t think I need to teach you much, Meadow. You are a freak. You’re worse than I am.”

  I feigned a gasp, clutching my chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m an angel.”

  A laugh boomed through him. “Right.” He hooked an arm around my shoulder, kissing my temple. “Thank you.”

  I smiled, patting his stomach. “No, thank you, Shade. For everything. For getting me away this weekend.”

  “I have a surprise for you when we get home but first, lets get settled, fuck and then go get some food.”

  “You’re so romantic.” I laughed.

  He snarled in my ear, the scruff on his jaw tickling me. “I am romantic, but I need to be fucked by my wife. We can make love later.”

  “Sounds like a delicious plan.” A shiver trembled through me. “But do you think you can handle me inside you, Baby Boy?” I asked, grazing my hand down Shade’s chest. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He smirked, placing a soft peck on my forehead. “Trust me. With enough lube, you’ll be fine.”

  A breathless laugh left me. As dominant as I wanted to be for him, I didn’t want to cause him any pain. Maybe I was more nervous than I thought.

  Once the elevator dinged, indicating that we had reached our floor, I took a deep breath.

  “After you, Little Lamb,” Shade whispered in my ear.

  I stepped out into the hall, my eyes widening. The walls were painted black with red carpet and dim lighting. It was like we stepped into Christian Grey’s ‘Red Room of Pain,’ only this was just a hallway. I wasn’t sure what it was about the color, but red was sexy as hell.

  “Meadow?”

  I jumped, spinning around. “Sorry. I’m distracted and I think I am a little nervous.”

  Shade gave me a small smile. “I get it.” He nodded to the other end of the hall. “Our room is this way. We can take our time but remember, you do have my baby growing in you, so I need to feed you at some point.”

  I nodded, walking past him and channeling the strength Sunny would give me if he were still alive. It was like I could almost hear his voice, telling me that it would be okay. That Shade loved me. That we didn’t have to do this tonight and we could do whatever we wanted and gradually work up to me actually fucking Shade in time.

  Shade walked past me, stopping at a door. He swiped the key card through the slot and pushed the door open, letting me enter first.

  When I entered the room, I wasn’t sure what I expected to see but it definitely wasn’t what lay before me. It was a normal room with a bed, a dresser, a TV sitting on top of it, a door to the right that led to the bathroom, and that was it.

  “The kink rooms are on the second floor. They each have a different theme. The actual hotel rooms don’t have any toys,” Shade explained. “But I did request that one be placed in here when I made the reservation.”

  I stepped further into the room, finding a box on top of the bed. It was wrapped in brown paper.

  “I also requested a few items that I can use to tie you up,” Shade murmured, his hot breath fanning over my ear. “Since I know my wife likes it when she’s immobile as I control her pleasure.”

  My body heated. “God yes,” I whispered.

  Shade chuckled. “Open it,” he said, running his hands down my sides before cupping my stomach.

  I did as instructed and started ripping the package open. Tearing the paper off the box, I ran my fingers along the edge of it. “I wonder what Sunny would say if he were here,” I said, staring at the image on the box of the fourteen-inch tanned strap-on.

  “He would probably tease a bit but once we started going, I’m sure he would enjoy watching. Or.” Shade cupped my shoulders and spun me around. “He would fuck you while you fucked me.”

  My core clenched at the thought. “Are you okay with...” I thought a moment, not really sure how to ask my question.

  “What?” Shade frowned. �
�Meadow?”

  “Are you okay with me dominating you?”

  Shade sat me on the edge of the bed before lowering to his knees. “Submitting to you feels natural. I can be alpha as fuck outside of the bedroom but within it, I need your control.”

  I shivered. “I need that too, but I didn’t want to upset you by controlling you if you didn’t want it.”

  Shade placed a soft peck on my mouth. “We should have talked about this years ago.”

  “I know but we’re talking now.” I cupped his cheek.

  “We are.” He gave my bottom lip a gentle bite, the slight pain shooting through every inch of me.

  Pushing him back, I rose from the edge of the bed. “Your safeword is ‘pastry.’ If you use it, everything stops, and we talk about it.”

  His eyes darkened. “Yes.”

  “Yes...” I tapped my chin. “Mistress?”

  He chuckled. “Yes, Mistress,” he said, winking.

  “Good boy.” I stepped away from him. “Now bend over the edge of the bed and hold on.”

  Shade

  It took a bit for us to talk about it but now that we had, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The air suddenly switched around me and my wife. When Meadow told me to bend over the edge of the bed, the firm tone of her voice forced a drop of pre-cum from my cock. I knew she had it in her. I just needed to coax it out of her and was thankful I finally had.

  When I was in the position she requested, she started opening the box. “The only thing that sucks is I won’t be able to feel it.”

  “There’s a machine in one of the rooms that has a dildo attached to it. We can set up a bench, so you can fuck me while it fucks you.” I had wanted to offer that to her, but I also didn’t want to overwhelm her either. This was new for both of us. Sure, we played a bit, but we had never been overly serious about the lifestyle. Maybe now we would but this was all her say. I just went along for the ride.

  “Well...that sounds delicious,” she whispered.

  I chuckled. “We can do whatever you want, baby. We can also watch it being used, so you get an idea of how it works.”