Window on Yesterday

by Joan Hohl

  Sean had scrupulously adhered to his promise of no pressure. He didn’t attempt to draw Alycia into an intimate dancing embrace. He didn’t stroke her spine or murmur tantalizing words into her ear. And yet the music swirling around them seemed to encase them in a realm of their very own, separate and apart from the other couples moving as one around them.

  Thought suspended, her emotions running perilously close to the surface, her gaze entangled in the infinite blue of Sean’s eyes, Alycia swayed to the rhythm of falling in love.

  The mood was shattered when, in a sudden change of pace, the pianist swept his hands over the keys, pounding out a ragtime beat.

  Alycia blinked.

  Sean smiled and led her back to the tiny table.

  They had ordered wine, and at the moment the waitress placed the stemmed glasses on the table, the pianist announced that there would be a short break in the music. The dancers settled at their respective tables, and their muted conversation became an unobtrusive background murmur.

  “Tell me about yourself.”

  Though Sean’s voice was pitched low, Alycia jolted at the sound of it. Glancing up from her concentrated study of the bubbles in her wine, she smiled faintly and shrugged helplessly. “What do you want to know?”

  Sean returned her smile and repeated his earlier directive: “Everything.”

  Dreamy, her senses floating on a flurry, euphoric cloud, Alycia gazed at Sean with her feelings shining from her emotion-darkened eyes. “I’ll tell you my everything if you’ll tell me your everything.”

  Sean stared at her with slightly widened eyes, then tossed back his head and laughed. “I love it!” he murmured. “You’re beautiful!” He grew suddenly serious; his voice grew suddenly very low. “I love you.” Before she could respond in any way, either by flinging herself out of her chair and into his arms or by running for the nearest exit, he grasped her hand and drew it to his lips. “I’ll tell you anything, everything. Start me off. What do you want to know?”

  Tingling all over from the touch of his lips, the glide of his tongue over her skin, breathless and slightly giddy from the impact of his casual confession of love, Alycia rushed into questioning speech. In rapid fire the questions shot back and forth between them.

  “Where were you born?”

  “Right here in eastern Pennsylvania.”

  “Really!” Alycia laughed. “So was I.” She named the small town.

  “That’s less than fifty miles from my home.” Sean shook his head in wonder. “Do you still have family there?”

  “No.” Alycia smiled. “My father did hard physical work all his life, while constantly informing anyone who’d listen that all he wanted was to be a beach bum.” Her eyes sparkled with inner amusement. “When Dad retired four years ago, he and Mother sold the house and everything in it, claiming they were going to the Florida Keys to become beach lizards.”

  Sean eyed her narrowly. “Why do I have this feeling that there’s a kicker coming?”

  Alycia’s soft laughter rippled from her throat. “They invested in a rather run-down bar near the beach.” She laughed again. “And now they’ve got a raging success on their hands!”

  “And they both love it,” Sean observed quietly.

  “Yes.” Alycia brought her mirth under control. “Isn’t it crazy?”

  “I think it’s wonderful.”

  “So do I.” She smiled mistily. “My parents have never been happier. They’re together, doing work they love.”

  “So,” Sean said in a low tone. “Maybe real love does exist.”

  Caught, yet not quite ready to be reeled in, Alycia avoided the issue in the time-honored way of a woman; she changed the subject. “Ah—what’s your favorite color?”

  Sean laughed chidingly, but he allowed her to get away with her diversionary action. “Blue. What’s yours?”

  “Green,” Alycia said without hesitation. ‘The cool, dark green of a summer forest.”

  “Interesting,” he mused, in the most outrageously sensual tone of voice Alycia had ever heard from a man. “The green of verdant earth and the blue of the sky arcs over it.” His eyes had deepened to the shade of sapphire, alluring and enticing.

  Alycia was not unaware nor immune to the underlying meaning in his observation. But she still quivered on the brink of uncertainty. Moving slowly, she eased her fingers from his hand and covered her retreat with an impish remark.

  “Oh, yes, there’s one other thing you should know about me.”

  Smiling in wry appreciation of her delaying tactics, Sean raised one russet eyebrow. “And that is?”

  “I absolutely adore pizza.”

  The sound of Sean’s soft laughter relieved the residue of tension inside Alycia.

  They remained in the lounge another hour, laughing, talking, and simply enjoying the pleasure of being together. They discussed different kinds of foods, favorites, and those abhorred. They compared likes and dislikes in books, plays, art, and films, and the artists who created them. But their deepest, most intense discussion naturally concerned history, especially American history, the one subject dearest to both their hearts.

  Alycia was too interested, too involved, and much too enthralled with her companion to be surprised or even to notice how very similar their preferences were. All she was really aware of was a sense of contentment and how very right it felt just being with him.

  As they were walking to the car after leaving the motel, Sean leaned over her to whisper in her ear.

  “I absolutely adore pizza, too.”

  * * *

  Chapter 5

  It was immature and perhaps even silly, yet Sean’s admission warmed Alycia throughout the short drive to the apartment and during her preparation for bed.

  Sean adored pizza.

  Alycia smiled dreamily and snuggled under the down comforter on her twin-size bed. Sean Halloran, sophisticated, world-traveler historian and author, adored pizza as much as Alycia Matlock, twenty-seven-year-old college student. The thought was infinitely more warming than the lightweight cover.

  Sleep was tiptoeing around the edges of Alycia’s consciousness when the phone rang, jarring her awake. Bolting up, she sat staring at the door, her eyebrows pinched in a frown.

  Who could be calling at midnight? she wondered, tossing back the comforter. Both Karla and Andrea were sound asleep, Alycia knew, because she had carefully peeked into their rooms before going to her own. Her movements slow and unsure, she slipped from the bed, toes creeping along the carpet until they made contact with her furry mules.

  Alycia’s hesitation was revealing; she didn’t like late-night calls. Positive it was a wrong number or, worse, a drunk having some sick fun, she left her room and walked slowly to the kitchen, hoping the caller would tire of waiting and hang up.

  Her step quickened when the insistent trill rang for the sixth time. Whoever was at the other end of the line was determined to reach someone.

  Suppose it was an emergency! What if something had happened to one of her parents or to a member of Karla’s or Andrea’s family? Having effectively frightened herself, Alycia grasped the receiver and snatched it from the wall cradle.

  “Hello?” She held her breath after whispering the word.

  “I woke you. I’m sorry.”

  Alycia slumped against the wall, the pent-up breath whoosing from her body. “No, Sean, you didn’t wake me.” She laughed shakily. “You merely scared me half to death. I was imagining all kinds of unthinkable disasters.”

  “I am sorry but”—he sighed—”I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Too much rich food?” Alycia asked sympathetically.

  “Too many rich emotions,” Sean replied softly. “I feel as churned up as an ocean being pounded by a hurricane.”

  Alycia laughed, she couldn’t help herself. It was late and she was tired, but she was tickled by his turn of phrase. “You’re crazy” she chided him tenderly.

  “I’m crazy about you,” Sean returned somberly.
/>   “Sean.” His name whispered achingly through her slightly parted lips.

  Sean groaned. “Oh, God, Alycia, I want to hold you ... just hold you.”

  Alycia stopped breathing, stopped thinking. Feeling boneless, she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the cold tile floor. She didn’t notice the chill. Closing her eyes, she imagined the thrilling wonder of Sean’s embrace, the excitement, the heat. Suddenly she ached with the longing to have him there, right there on the floor, with her, a part of her. Yearning, yearning, she drew her legs up close to her body and rested her head back against the wall, releasing her need in a long, heartfelt sigh.

  “Alycia?”

  “Yes, Sean.”

  “What are you doing? What are you thinking?”

  “I’m sitting on the floor and I’m thinking about you.”

  “Isn’t the floor cold?” he asked with immediate concern.

  Alycia smiled. “I don’t know.” She felt his sigh to her fur-encased toes. “My imagination’s keeping me warm.”

  “What are you imagining?” Sean’s voice was deep, laced with anticipation and excitement. “Tell me, Alycia.”

  For the space of a deep, calming breath, Alycia considered prudence then tossed caution aside. “I was imagining being with you, being held by you, the way we were ... was it only yesterday?”

  “Does it matter?” The thread of intensity woven through his low tone told her that it was not as simple a query as it appeared to be. While asking, Sean was also trying to tell her how unimportant he felt time to be.

  Alycia now understood and accepted his belief. “No, Sean, it doesn’t matter at all.”

  “Good.” He expelled the word on a relieved sigh. “I want to see you tomorrow, today, whenever.”

  Alycia smiled and curled one finger around a strand of silky hair. “And I want to be with you ... whenever.”

  “Would you like to go out or stay in?” He was all business now, brisk and determined.

  “Stay in” she replied at once.

  “I’ll bring the pizza.” Amusement enriched his voice. “Okay?”

  “Bring enough for four.”

  “Of course.”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?” Sean asked in genuine puzzlement.

  “For accepting my friends.”

  “I like them, but”—Sean paused to add emphasis to his tone—”I’d accept them even if I didn’t particularly like them, simply because they are your friends.”

  “I know.” And suddenly Alycia did know, with utter conviction, that Sean was prepared to accept almost anything, just to be with her. She knew, because she felt exactly the same way about him.

  “Good night, sweetheart.”

  “Good night”—Alycia’s hesitation was very, very brief—”sweetheart.”

  * * * *

  The pattern was thus set for the remainder of that week. If Alycia had paused to consider it, which she didn’t, she might have concluded that Sean’s courtship of her was somewhat confined, yet not confining.

  They were rarely alone together. Still, they were together, and that was all that really mattered. They laughed often and freely, and their shared laughter was a strong property in the cohesive working to bind them one to the other.

  Alycia reached the decision to put her friends into the picture the moment she reached the breakfast table the morning after Sean’s nocturnal call. Displaying her usual concerned curiosity, Andrea gave Alycia the perfect opportunity to explain.

  “Did you have a good time with Sean last night?” she asked innocently.

  Noticing that Karla was suddenly all ears, Alycia smiled and nodded. “I had a very good time,” she answered, somewhat amazed at the steadiness of her hands as she poured coffee into her cup. “In fact, Sean and I both had such a good time that we decided to do it again this evening.”

  “Do it?” Karla arched her delicate eyebrows. “Do what?”

  “Karla!” Andrea groaned. “Must you be so nosy?”

  “It’s the only way to learn anything,” Karla retorted without bothering to as much as glance at Andrea. “So, what happened?” she demanded, giving Alycia a penetrating look.

  “Nothing, and everything,” Alycia murmured, her smile curving softly. “We had dinner. We danced. We talked. I fell in love.” Her dreamy-voiced admission had the impact of a small bomb.

  “What!” Karla exclaimed.

  “Huh?” Andrea looked stunned.

  Alycia sighed. “I said I fell—

  “We heard what you said,” Karla cut her off impatiently. “The question is why? How?”

  “That’s two questions.”

  “Cute.” Karla’s lips puckered into a sour curve.

  Ever compassionate, Andrea reached out impulsively to grasp Alycia’s hand. “If you’d rather not talk about it...” she began, falling silent when Alycia shook her head.

  “I don’t mind talking about it.” Alycia lifted her shoulders in a helpless shrug. “It’s just that there’s really not much to talk about. I can’t explain something I don’t understand myself.” Her expression grew pensive. “As you both know, I certainly didn’t plan on falling in love. Falling in love wasn’t on my list of things to do. But...” Her voice faded and her eyes clouded with a faraway look.

  “But you definitely are in love with Sean.” Andrea’s tone held acceptance not question.

  “Yes.”

  Karla sighed and drawled, “You have my condolences.”

  Andrea’s head snapped around, her normally soft expression setting into hard lines. “Karla, that remark was cruel and uncalled for!” Her tone was every bit as hard as her expression.

  Alycia stared at her friend in wide-eyed surprise, amazed at her show of fire and strength. “It’s all right, Andrea,” she said soothingly. “I’m sure Karla didn’t mean to sound cruel.”

  Shoulders slumping, Karla rose from the table. “I didn’t, not really.” She offered Alycia a smile that begged for forgiveness. “It’s just that... dammit!... love hurts, and we have the scars to prove it.” Tears glistened in her usually very cool eyes. Hesitantly, she extended her hands, catching back a sob when Alycia and Andrea immediately reciprocated. Hands clasped, they stared at one another. “You are my soul sisters, and I love you both, “she said in a tight whisper. “I don’t want to see either of you hurt again, any more than I want to be hurt, but”—she paused to gaze directly at Alycia—”if you truly love Sean, I wish you the best. I only hope he’s good enough for you.”

  “Thank you,” Alycia murmured, unmindful of the tears running down her face. “I’ll have to take my chances, I have no choice.”

  Andrea sniffed loudly. “Oh, darn it, Karla,” she wailed. “You’ve got us all blubbering like babies, and we’ve got to get to class.”

  Karla’s eyes flew wide. “Oh, hell, I’ve got an early appointment!” Releasing her friend’s hands, she managed a watery smile. “I’ll be here for you if either of you ever need me, but now, I’ve got to get out of here.” Spinning around, she dashed for the bathroom.

  Alycia and Andrea stared at each other for a moment, then slowly, softly began to laugh.

  “She talks tough, but she’s all heart,” Andrea observed.

  “Yes.” Alycia wiped the tears from her cheeks. “She’s also right,” she continued, pushing her chair back. “We have got to get moving.”

  Working comfortably together, Alycia and Andrea cleared the table and stacked the dishes in the sink. Then the usual morning race against the clock was on.

  “By the way,” Alycia said some thirty minutes later as the three clattered down the stairs, “Sean’s stopping by this afternoon.”

  Karla paused in the act of swinging the outside door open. “Are you hinting that Andrea and I should have dinner elsewhere?” she asked.

  “Just the opposite!” Alycia laughed. “He’s bringing pizza for four.”

  * * * *

  Sean was late arriving at the apartment, which suited Alycia be
cause it gave her time to change and freshen her makeup, and Andrea, as it afforded her the opportunity to straighten the living room, and Karla, who utilized the time by slicing a boxed coffee cake for dessert and making a pot of coffee to go with it.

  Arms laden with two huge white pizza boxes, the fingers of one hand curled around the neck of a gallon jug of wine, Sean stepped inside the door and stopped dead.

  “Sorry I’m so late,” he muttered, relinquishing the boxes to Karla, the wine to Andrea, and his coat to Alycia. “I got fast-talked by the head of the history department.” He gave a grunt of disgust as he tugged the snow-caked boots from his feet.

  “Rathman.” Karla said the name scathingly, rolling her eyes.

  ‘The great orator,” Andrea added, grimacing.

  “The keeper of the historical flame,” Alycia concluded, laughing.

  Sean looked solemnly from one to the other; then he grinned. “That’s the one,” he said dryly. “Rathman the ridiculous. He’s giving a dinner party Saturday evening to introduce me to”—his voice changed, becoming heavy with a tone of self-importance that exactly mimicked the voice of the man under discussion—”the most serious academicians on campus.”

  Sean’s amused irreverence set the tone for the rest of the evening. Laughing together like old friends, they devoured the two large loaded-with-everything pizzas, the entire coffee cake, all of the coffee, and half the bottle of wine before retiring to the living room.

  Replete and comfortable, they sipped from refilled wineglasses and discussed whatever subject came to mind.

  “What are your plans for spring break?” Sean asked at one point.

  “You know that I leave for Williamsburg Saturday morning,” Alycia said, less enthusiastic than might have been expected.

  Sean’s lips tightened slightly as he nodded. “And you two?” He glanced from Karla to Andrea.

  “I’m going home to Lancaster to visit my family and hit the books for the final term,” Andrea replied, uncurling her legs from beneath her and stretching.

  “And I’m off to New York Friday afternoon to stalk the art galleries,” Karla said, stifling a yawn as she stood up. “But right now I’m off to bed.” She flashed a smile that had stopped more than one man in his tracks. “Thanks for dinner, Sean, and good night.” With a casual wave of her hand, she exited the room. Andrea was right behind her.