The Glass Queen

by Gena Showalter

  I experienced a pang of sympathy. I had to give credit to Princess Dior, though. She came to check on Ashleigh twice, refusing to leave until Ashleigh slipped a note under the door, assuring her all was well.

  At last the clock chimed midnight. Not my clock, though. The toy left in rubble. I’d done enough recognizance to know the king and his staff were asleep now. “It’s time,” I said.

  “I’ll pack a bag.” Ashleigh yawned and tripped around the room, stuffing things she’d procured before my arrival into a satchel. A bit of food, a canteen of water, a couple of blankets, toiletries, and clean clothes.

  She’d wanted to pack earlier, but I’d asked her to wait; that was when I’d thought the king would visit.

  I took the bag and hung the strap over my shoulder, then led Ashleigh to the balcony. Moonlight bathed her, the sight stunning, turning her into a dream. A cool breeze drifted past, laden with the fragrance of night blooms.

  The dragons joined us.

  “Follow my flight path exactly,” I said, and I prayed they understood.

  As I took Ashleigh into the air, flying her away from the palace, the dragons soared behind us, following.

  I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you for giving the babies a chance,” she said, wind whipping her hair against me.

  “It wasn’t the dragons I decided to take a chance on, Asha.” I glanced over my shoulder, checking their progress. They must have seen something below and hoped to investigate, because they’d begun to descend.

  I put my fingers to my mouth and whistled, gaining their attention, and the duo ascended once again, heeding my request. That simple action inundated me with hope. This arrangement might actually work.

  Eventually, we reached the stable, a dilapidated building with rickety wood and a cracked roof ready to cave in at any moment. Or so it appeared. In reality, the structure was brand-new, built with enchanted wood cut from a magical tree; it would never fall.

  Before I landed, I told Ashleigh, “I am going to entrust you with a secret. One you must keep.” Could I trust her?

  “I don’t know if you should,” she lamented. “What if Leonora tells someone? You said it yourself. She and I are two different people. Sometimes I can’t stop her.”

  It was a risk I had to take. “The stable was built around a mirrored cage. Inside that cage is Princess Farrah, who killed a princess of Azul in order to steal her magical voice. Farrah then compelled me to kill Queen Everly’s sister. As punishment, Farrah is forced to relive her crimes again and again as they appear on the glass.”

  “I’m sorry for your pain,” she said, patting my hand.

  “What makes you think I hurt?” Her accurate estimation unnerved me. “You’ve seen me kill many others. Why would any of this bother me?”

  “Because you loved Farrah, and she betrayed you. Because you’d judged the victim innocent and undeserving of a death sentence. Because you had no offensive wounds in the garden. Even though I’d harmed you, you never struck back.”

  Craaack. Another break. For a moment, I struggled to breathe. For the first time since the incident occurred, I felt as if I’d been seen.

  I remembered how helpless I’d felt, unable to fight Farrah’s compulsion...exactly how Ashleigh must have felt each time she’d awoken and discovered Leonora had taken over.

  Why had I never considered her plight? Why had I never offered her comfort? Guilt stirred with me, sharpened by regret.

  The dragons zoomed past us and darted inside the stable. For now, I set the guilt and regret aside. Ashleigh deserved my best.

  I followed the dragons, watching as they searched every stall, frightened the bugs and animals that had taken residence inside them. They claimed the largest stall as their own and promptly fell asleep. Smoke curled from their nostrils.

  “The long flight exhausted them,” Ashleigh said with a smile.

  Fatigued myself, the struggles of the day and my lack of rest catching up to me, I made a pallet beside them. I sat down, spread my wings, and lay back, patting the spot at my right.

  “You want me to lie beside you?” Ashleigh asked after a jaw-cracking yawn.

  “Or on top of me,” I muttered. Teasing tone, serious words. “I’m not picky.”

  She wrung her hands and rocked from one foot to the other. “Who could have ever guessed I would consider cuddling with an avian?”

  “So that’s a yes?” I asked, trying to mask my eagerness. I’d been without her for too long, not just these past six days but years and years and years. I needed her back in my arms. “You’re considering cuddling?”

  “That’s a yes.” Wringing faster. “I don’t want to sleep, though.”

  I frowned. “You had a terrible day, and you’re clearly exhausted.”

  Faster. “You trusted me with a secret, so I’m going to trust you with one, too. I’ve been...well, you know Leonora likes to assert her dominance when I’m sleeping and walk me places. Twice I went to bed clean this week and awoke dusty. I don’t know what she’ll do out here. What if I end up lost?”

  I didn’t like that she’d been wandering around at night, even as the fire witch. If the wrong person were to stumble upon her...

  It was time to reveal another secret. “You won’t get lost. I had a tracker spell put on you so that I will be able to find you, wherever you are.”

  I braced, expecting anger—deserving unfiltered rage.

  She surprised me, gifting me with a tinkling laugh before settling beside me. All hint of her unease was gone.

  We lay side by side, her body cushioned by one of my wings. “I think that’s got to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I bet Ophelia was referring to this tracker spell when she mentioned she’d given the spell you’d ordered something extra. Something about me being drawn to magical doorways to watch your friend make out.”

  I reeled. “You aren’t furious with me?” Knowing Ophelia, she’d wanted Ashleigh to see Everly and Roth together so she could tell me about Eve’s dalliance with the fae; I softened toward her at that moment, I admitted it.

  She placed a hand over her heart. “You cared enough to want to find me.”

  “I think you’re forgetting the part about me wanting to hurt you,” I reminded her.

  “Shhh.” Leaning over, she pressed a finger to my lips. “Don’t ruin this for me.”

  I nipped at the finger, and she laughed. “Tonight,” I said, “I’ll make sure you remain in bed, I swear it.”

  “This is nice,” she whispered, her voice already slurred with exhaustion.

  “Better than nice.”

  She rolled to her side, and I rolled to mine, wrapping my arm around her and breathing in her sweet scent. Mmm. This felt right. She fit me perfectly.

  Made for me.

  “We should probably seal our new truce with a ki...” The next thing I knew, her breathing evened out, and she went quiet.

  I wanted to shout with frustration. Finish the sentence, Asha.

  Despite that frustration, I felt more contentment than ever before. Ashleigh trusted me to keep her safe. And I would, no matter the cost. Though my eyelids turned heavy, threatening to slide shut, I forced myself to remain awake and on guard the entire night.

  I kissed her temple. Inside, both sides of me cried, Do not betray me this time, Asha. Please. I doubted I would recover.

  * * *

  Sunlight streamed through the stable’s wooden slats, dust motes dancing in the cool, crisp air. The dragons had gotten up about an hour ago to explore and play, and they had yet to return. I had Ashleigh all to myself.

  I grinned as I stretched. My princess hadn’t budged the entire night. I’d kept her in place, as promised. This morning, she slept against me, her petite body warmed by my wings. A blue feathered tangled in her hair.

  The contentment I’
d felt last night? It did not compare to this...this peace. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, with the one I was supposed to be with. The sensation might be an echo from our past love affairs, but I embraced it, reaching out to trace her cheekbones. Her lips parted with a raspy sigh.

  Eyes remaining closed, she breathed, “Mmm. Saxon,” before rolling on top of me and fusing her mouth to mine.

  The impromptu kiss startled me. I responded, but something niggled at the back of my mind. A sense of familiarity. Yes. That. I’d experienced this kiss a thousand times before—with Leonora.

  My blood flash froze.

  Ashleigh was not Leonora. They should not kiss the same.

  With a curse, I wrenched my face from hers.

  She lifted her head and opened her lids, and a curse exploded from me. Her irises were blue.

  Leonora had taken over, and I wasn’t prepared for it. I leaped to a stand, dumping the fire witch onto the pallet, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

  She grinned as she rose to her feet. “You enjoy my newest form. I’m glad.”

  I wanted Ashleigh back. I wanted Ashleigh back now. I could never—would never—be able to trust this other part of her. “Why are you here? Why now?”

  All want and need, Leonora glided a hand through my wings. “Don’t you want me here, lover?”

  “I don’t,” I said, catching her wrist. While Ashleigh exuded excitement, as if she enjoyed the simple act of living, everything she did new and wonderful, Leonora simpered.

  One enchanted me. The other repulsed me.

  Maybe we didn’t have to settle for suppressing this part of Ashleigh with a spell. Ashleigh and Leonora were two halves of the same whole, the edges no longer glued together. One could exist without the other. What if we found a way to erase this part of her?

  Never again would memories overtake her, or turn her into Leonora. The magic that saved her heart...would she lose it? Would she die without it, Leonora taking another female from me?

  I released her and stepped back, moving out of her range.

  She narrowed her eyes. “I’m your fated. I’m the one willing to fight time and space for you. The one you return for. Why do you continue to push me away?”

  “I do return for you...to end your reign of terror.” As she scowled, I asked, “Are you eager to reignite our war?”

  “I have no desire to fight with you again. During our first life, I wanted only to be your wife.” Exaggerating the sway of her hips, she shrank the distance between us. “You decided to exile me from the Avian Mountains and wed a princess instead.”

  “A princess you killed.”

  She shrugged, as unrepentant as ever. “During our second life, I did everything right. I even created a peaceful home for you, yet you still opted to wed another woman.”

  “Because I knew there was something wrong with our relationship. Then I remembered your crimes against me.”

  “I only stabbed you because I knew we could start over. If you’ll give me a chance, we can finally get this right.”

  “This,” I sneered, “is based on hatred.”

  Despite paling, she kept her voice modulated. “I can make you happy, Craven. Ashleigh is the one who makes you miserable.”

  “I am Saxon.” The one who wanted Ashleigh. “And you, Leonora, will never make me happy.” Must erase the witch. “Bury the memories of the past. Bring Ashleigh back.”

  She hissed, “Perhaps I’m here to stay now.”

  The room spun. Not yet, not yet. I wasn’t ready.

  I would never be ready. “If that’s true, we have nothing left to say to each other.” I would force her to bury the memories, I decided, palming one of the daggers sheathed in my boots. Boots I’d slept in, wanting to be prepared for any threat against my charges. “We might as well get to the killing part of our courtship.”

  “Is that so?” With an icy grin, she reached into the pocket of her dress, then lifted a dagger to her throat. “Why don’t I kill this body now and save you the trouble?”

  “No,” I roared, dropping my weapon in order to grab her wrist. “Do not harm her.”

  “Why shouldn’t I take her from you, the way you took your love away from me?” Her voice cracked. “Tell me.”

  “She’s a better person than either of us has ever been.” Those words... I had a sudden and startling realization. With bone-deep certainty, I knew I’d gotten this all wrong. Ashleigh and Leonora weren’t two halves of the same whole, one with memories and magic, one without. Ashleigh was not the foundation from which Leonora had been built. She wasn’t a clean slate, with a different upbringing; she was a different person entirely. The two females shared no commonalities. One would never have been—or be—the other.

  Two females, one completely separate from the other, shared a body.

  I didn’t know how it was possible; I just knew it had happened.

  I’d been so blinded by hatred, so confident I’d found the one responsible for my pain, I’d rationalized obvious tells. Ashleigh hadn’t been the one to hurt me. But I’d been the one to hurt her.

  Guilt returned with a vengeance, bringing shame along for the ride. More guilt and shame than any one person could ever hope to carry. Ashleigh had deserved none of my wrath, but she’d born all of it.

  The house of rage, wrath, and vengeance I’d built inside my mind began to crumble, layer by layer. Guilt flooded in. An acid-tinged rain burning everything it touched. I owed my princess reparation I could never repay, and the knowledge tore up my insides.

  I needed to beg for forgiveness I didn’t deserve.

  A sound of animal pain got trapped inside my head at top volume. I would apologize. I would spend my life making up for what I’d done, and I would find a way to neutralize the witch, or whatever the creature it was that lived inside of her.

  Unlike memories, I doubted Leonora could be erased. But we might be able to remove her.

  Having accepted the truth, my thoughts aligned, my mind working at a faster clip now. Could Leonora be a goblin, perhaps, able to possess a body for the span of its life rather than a few stolen minutes? Goblins could absolutely be removed; they could also be killed.

  If Leonora was a goblin, though, she was the strongest one I’d ever encountered. Half goblin, half witch?

  I would ask around, learn what I could and present Ashleigh with the idea. How would she react?

  For now, I would make Leonora as miserable as possible, forcing her to fade on her own. “You owe me restitution, witch, and you will pay it. You will clean the entire stable. To start.” I dragged her into the dirtiest stall. “You will do everything one-handed, so that you aren’t able to use your magic to burn the place down.”

  “Clean? Me? I’ll do no such thing.” She uttered a shrill laugh that set me on edge. “As your fated queen, however, I’ll be happy to supervise our servants.”

  I spun her around and yanked the ribbon from her hair, then used the satin to tie one of her arms to the back of her gown. “You won’t be leaving this stable until you’ve finished cleaning. For every day you refuse to work, I’ll shorten the length of your chains. Yes, you will be chained.” She might be powerful, but she wasn’t infallible.

  “You wouldn’t,” she gasped out.

  I grinned slowly, contentedly. “Watch me. Or, allow Ashleigh to emerge. Let the princess do the cleaning for you.” A temptation the selfish creature couldn’t resist?

  Long, torturous moments passed, her breaths the only sound. “What is it you like about Ashleigh? Her inability to run a short distance without fainting? Her lack of combat skills? No, wait. It must be her lack of magic.”

  I wanted so badly to yell my defense of the princess, an insult to her an insult to me. My, my. How quickly things have changed. Knowing I would only fuel Leonora’s stubbornness if I spoke up, I crossed my arms and remaine
d mute.

  She puffed a frustrated sigh. “Very well. I’ll allow your precious Ashleigh to return—for now—but I’ll be back, and we’ll settle our differences once and for all.” That said, she collapsed, her eyes rolling back into her head.

  I flew over to catch her before she hit the ground, then eased her down the rest of the way. As she slept on, I remained crouched at her side, my nerves on edge. What would I see when her lashes parted? Hated blue or adored green?

  Seconds passed, each one more agonizing than the last. When a low moan left her and she began to flutter open her lids, I tensed. What color? Please, be green. Please be—green. I exhaled a staggering breath of relief.

  “Withering roses,” she burst out, jolting into an upright position. With a groan, she massaged her temples. “Leonora locked me in an endless void on the other side of the barrier, and I couldn’t fight my way free. But at least I remained somewhat aware this time.”

  What did she mean, “barrier”? Had she already found a way to suppress the witch, keeping Leonora from taking over any time she wished?

  “How do you feel?” I asked, untying the hand that was behind her back. My voice was rough with guilt, the tide I’d managed to hold back while dealing with Leonora surging.

  “I’m all right,” she replied softly, rubbing her wrists.

  I bowed my head.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. “What did I do this time?”

  “You did nothing. You never have. I never should have blamed you for what happened in the past. I never should have punished you. I’m so sorry, Ashleigh.” I hated what I’d done. I hated who I’d been. “Tell me what to do to prove my remorse, and I’ll do it.” I would do anything.

  “You don’t need to do anything. This situation is insane and complex and twisted. We’re both doing the best we can. But I accept your apology,” she offered easily. She placed her hand atop mine and squeezed, putting action to words. “To be honest, you aren’t the one I blame.”

  Who was this girl with the broken heart so ready to forgive?

  “What did Leonora do this time?” she asked. “For once, I have a vague idea, but I’m kind of hoping I’m wrong.”