And if it does, I’m a step closer to being rid of this place. To being out of here.
Which is definitely what I still want.
Most of the time.
I wake up the next morning to the sound of a hammer downstairs. I walk groggily to my door and open it. I look down the stairs and see Lena on the floor of the barn, pounding away at the legs of a chair.
“Is all that necessary this time of morning?” I ask, squinting in the sunlight that’s streaming in from the windows. She barely acknowledges me as she whacks at it a few more times, then checks to see if it’s sturdy before flipping it back onto its feet.
“It is if we want tonight to go well,” she says, rolling over her hip and hopping back to her feet. I can’t help but smile at her. She does remind me of my mom in a lot of ways, with her no-bullshit, get-it-done attitude. I make my way down the steps, aware that I’m in nothing but shorts, and reach for her arm as she’s walking toward the doors.
“Hey,” I say, looking down at her. I can see the frantic thoughts in her head, every second she’s not doing something feels like a waste. So I wait a moment until our eyes meet, until I know she actually sees me. Her face softens a bit, her eyebrows pointed up to the sky. “Tonight is gonna go great.”
She draws in a long breath, then finally, cracks into a small smile. She nods as she reaches her hand up and squeezes mine. Then she turns and walks out the barn doors.
I pull the tables out and place the chairs around them, spreading them out evenly toward the back corner of the barn. I wipe down the bar and start unloading the beers that Berta’s delivery guy dropped off into the coolers behind the counter. Then I start unwinding an extension cord, making sure the electric reaches to the makeshift stage we built in the front corner,
Millie comes in a few minutes later with some string lights, and I hold Caleb up on my shoulders as he “helps” us hang them. I’m sure Lena will redo them later, but he’s not bad for a four-year-old.
All day long, I’m taking orders from Lena and Josie, and Berta when she’s around, but I don’t mind it. There’s life in this place today, and I’m diggin’ it.
“Hey,” Berta finally says, nodding in our direction as I nail the last corner of the banner Lena had printed into the wall above the door. I hop down off the ladder and we all gather around her, Caleb playing with dinosaurs in the far corner of the room.
“I’m gonna hang behind the bar with the tenders for the first little bit,” she says, “but then I was thinkin,’ I could trade places with you.” She motions to Millie, whose eyes grow wide.
“I’m too old to be out here partyin’ with all you kids,” Berta goes on. “So I thought I’d kick back and watch some T.V. inside the inn while the kid sleeps, and you can hang out here with the youngsters. You need a night of fun, too.”
Lena smiles widely, and throws her arms around Berta. Millie’s eyes are still wide, and suddenly, I see tears prickling in them. Aw, hell. I hate when women cry. There’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do to stop a woman from crying.
“Thank you, Berta! That would be amazing!” Lena says, answering for Millie. Finally, Millie smiles and nods.
“Yes, thank you so much,” she says, “but are you sure? If he wakes up...”
“If he wakes up, I’ll just call one of these two,” Berta says, motioning to me and Josie, “and they can send in mama bear. Don’t worry. I used to watch these knuckleheads all the time when they were kids. And they turned out okay. Mostly.”
Josie and I both chuckle and nudge her. Millie smiles again, but I can still see the worry in her eyes. Berta walks out of the barn, and as the rest of us return to our to-dos, I gently nudge Millie’s arm.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be in good hands,” I tell her. “And we’ll be right here if he needs anything.”
She nods and smiles.
“Alright, troops,” Lena finally says, clapping her hands together. “I think we’ve just about done all we can do. Let’s go get ready, and pray people show up!”
It’s a quarter to eight, and I’m sitting in the parlor of the inn waiting for the girls to make their grand entrance. I decided to step it up a notch. I’m wearing khakis and a nicer button-up; I probably looked more dressed up than Lena’s ever seen me. But this is a big night. For me, for the inn, and, mostly, for her. I decided to give it a little extra umph. I even combed my hair after my shower and decided against my staple Baycrest baseball cap.
Josie’s the first one downstairs, and not shockingly, she’s dressed to the nines. You’d think she was going out for a night on the town in D.C., rather than a dance in our dusty old barn. But that’s Josie for ya.
Millie follows close behind after finally getting the kid down, wearing a flowy skirt and white tank, with her dark hair twisted into a bun. She looks a little flustered, but she looks ready. I want her to have a good time tonight. I want her to breathe, relax, have a drink or two. I want her to have one night to herself. One night.
“Looking beautiful!” Josie says, taking Millie’s right hand, then motioning for her to do a spin. “Care to join me in the barn for a quick pre-party shot? It’ll take the edge off.” Millie pauses for a moment, then I watch as her face relaxes. Berta’s already perched up on the couch in the living room with a stack of magazines and a soda. Finally, Millie nods, taking Josie’s outstretched hand again.
“Let’s do this,” she says. I chuckle and shake my head as the two of them giggle out of the house like a couple of teenagers and disappear toward the barn.
I hear some stumbling down the steps, and then she turns the corner, where I spot her before she’s noticed I’m there. She’s got on a flowing baby blue sundress with extra-skinny straps and some sort of heeled, strappy sandals. Her long, coal-colored hair is curled, and pulled to one side. She’s even wearing a little makeup, and her eyes are shining like freakin’ sapphires.
She looks a little flustered, but she also looks like she’s on a mission. She’s about to fly around the corner toward the kitchen, but stops in her tracks when she sees me.
“Damn,” I mutter without even thinking. It just slips out. I see her bite her bottom lip to hide her smile.
“It’s Josie’s,” she says, tugging on the bottom of the dress. “I didn’t have anything nice enough. Guess I forgot to pack my barn-dance attire when I left Boston.”
I smile and take another step closer to her. I have to take a deep breath to keep myself calm. She looks fucking amazing. My eyes travel up and down her body like a car that’s lost on a street. Like they don’t know where to land, because every inch of her is perfect. The sweet smell of her hair is intoxicating the closer I get to her. Her skin is tanner than it was when she first got here, and I know it’s from all her work in the summer sun. A few freckles splay across her shoulders and chest, and it’s taking all the restraint I have not to pull her in and kiss every single one of them.
The closer I get to her, the harder the pull becomes, and the more I know I should walk away. She clears her throat nervously, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. There’s something so sexy about the fact that she’s done all this for the inn. For me. I’m amazed by her, but also a little bit of afraid of her. Afraid of what she could do to me.
“I...uh,” I stammer. I want to say something so fucking bad. I want to tell her how thankful I am. But I can’t. “You...you look great,” I manage to get out like a nervous teenager laying eyes on his prom date.
She swallows, her eyes dropping to the floor.
“Thanks,” she says. “Should we go out? See if anyone’s gonna show up to this thing?”
I nod and gesture toward the barn with my hand, letting her lead the way. And all the while, I wish I could kick my own ass for not saying anything else.
We walk back through the foyer, but as we reach the front door, she pauses with her hand on the handle. I see her shoulders fall and rise a few times.
“You okay?” I ask. She nods before slowly turning around to face me. She pr
esses her back up against the door and closes her eyes. “Hey, what’s up?”
Finally, she opens them again, her long lashes fluttering.
“I’m just...trying to prepare myself for no one to show,” she says with a nervous laugh.
I step closer to her and put my hands on her shoulders. She blinks a few times, then looks up at me.
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” I say. She cocks her head to the side, giving me a half-smile.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean...I’ve never met someone who just goes for it. For anything. For everything. You don’t wait to take chances...you just do it. It’s kind of amazing,” I say, letting my hands drop slowly from her skin as I look down at the ground. She smiles again, shrugging slowly.
“I guess it just comes from years of not having an option. There wasn’t a lot of time to weigh my options in between my mother’s beatings and then my sister’s. I just had to act as soon as I had an opportunity,” she says. I want to pull her into me again, hold her so tight against me. Let her know, yet again, how safe she is—how safe they all are—here with me. Protect her from those memories that I can’t even bring myself to think about.
But instead, I just nod.
“Well, shitty circumstances have turned you into the most stubborn,” I say with a pause, “strongest person I’ve ever known.” I give her a sly smile, and she returns the favor. I feel my knees go weak at the sight of her biting her lip again.
“Well,” she says, clearing her throat and stepping off from the door, “I guess it’s time.”
I nod and follow her out the door. We walk across the gravel driveway in silence, but we stop when we see the lawn, flooded with headlights. Car doors opening and shutting, groups of people shuffling through the barn doors.
The band is already set up and has started playing as we make our way in, and people are ordering drinks at the bar, where Millie looks a little more relaxed after that shot. I look at Lena, whose jaw has dropped.
“Well, well, well,” I whisper in her ear. I watch as goosebumps rise all over her skin. “Look at what you’ve done.”
I smile against her hair, then slip past her and into the barn.
Josie and Millie are mingling already, talking it up with the locals, helping serve drinks and appetizers. A few people are sitting at each of the tables snacking and chatting, while others have already gathered closer to the stage, and some are even starting to dance.
Suddenly, there’s life at the Rowan again.
I wander around the barn, saying hi to everyone I know—which is, well, everyone—and chatting it up as much as I can. All the while, I keep my eye on Lena, watching as she effortlessly makes friends with every person she talks to, filling the role of server, bartender, hostess. The fabric of her dress flows out every time she spins around, and she looks like an angel.
After about an hour, I find her at the bar. I want her. I want to touch her, feel her, let her know how proud I am of her. But, like clockwork, my sister comes crashing in, cockblocking as adeptly as she has since we were teenagers.
“Guys, pardon my French, but this is fucking amazing,” she says. I can smell the tequila on her breath as she slams her glass down on the bar. “I’ve had five people tell me they’d stay here. I had another two ask when we were reopening. Lee, I think you might be right.”
I turn to Lena and raise an eyebrow.
“Right about what?”
Her eyes drop sheepishly to the ground.
“I just...I mentioned to Josie earlier that if this worked, it might give us an idea as to whether or not the inn might ever be operational again,” she says. Then her blue eyes flick up to mine. “I know you’re not interested in staying to run it, but the next owner might be.”
Normally, I’d be defensive of my decision to sell, to get the hell out of Baycrest and leave all of this on the shore. But right now, my chest is swelling with so much pride and joy for this place, and for this girl, that I can’t even bring myself to be mad. I smile, but before I can respond, I hear him. Nothing gives you limp dick quite like Rob Mills.
“Well, well, well,” he says, sauntering up toward us as he throws back a sip of his beer. “Interesting little shindig you guys got goin’ on here. And interesting music.”
I roll my eyes. I want to sock him in the face, just for existing.
“Rob,” Lena says, her voice as unenthusiastic as possible without sounding completely and utterly disappointed, “you came. Good to see you.”
He steps closer to her, and I feel all my senses heighten.
“You too, little lady,” he says, and again, I can’t help but roll my eyes so far back into my head that I can see my fucking brain. “Pretty impressive that a girl like you can just roll in and get this place off the ground again, while Jess here’s been letting it drown for years.”
That’s it. I feel my chest swelling as I take three quick steps closer to him. But Josie puts a hand to my chest, and Lena steps in front of me.
“We did a survey, actually,” Lena says. “Most people said they’d come as long as we got a better band to play. So we did.” She shrugs her shoulders sarcastically and holds her hands out, and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so bad. I watch as Rob’s jaw drops. He looks from Lena, to Josie, to me, then scoffs and turns on his heel. And we all bust out laughing. Damn, my girl is funny.
My girl.
As if she’s mine.
As if we’re going to be together.
As if either of us will even be here in a month’s time.
As if any chance I ever had of being with her, of making her mine, isn’t slipping through my fingers with every day that passes.
22
Lena
The party has been going strong for two hours now, and it doesn’t show signs of slowing anytime soon. The band is killing it, much to Rob’s chagrin, and so are Berta’s bartenders. Millie disappears into the inn every hour or so just to check in with Berta, but for the most part, she seems to really be enjoying herself. I’ve seen the lead singer of the band, someone Josie and Jesse know from high school, whisper to her in between songs, and I see this smile turn her cheeks red every single time he does it.
Josie is a little tipsy, but she’s definitely enjoying seeing the inn busy. And Jesse. I’ve seen that killer smile of his more times tonight than the whole time I’ve been here in Baycrest, and every single time, it makes my heart jump in my chest.
Even though it’s a full house, my nerves have yet to settle. I know tonight is going well—we made enough to cover our expenses with the first few people who arrived, and have definitely made enough to do some more renovations.
But that’s not why I’m nervous.
I’m nervous for what comes after the renovations are made.
Our time here is running out faster than I was ready for.
I do a lap around to all the tables, grabbing empty glasses and plates, making sure everyone has enough of what they are eating or drinking.
“Are we finished here?” I ask at one table, not bothering to look up as I sweep some crumbs onto a napkin.
“Nah, but you will be soon,” I hear Amber say. I look up, a smug smile on her face as her girlies all smile and giggle around me. This girl. This poor girl wants a fight with me so bad. She wants a fight over Jesse, because she thinks that if I weren’t here, she would have a real chance with him.
I don’t want to fight with her. I don’t have the energy.
“Amber,” I say, collecting a few of their empty shot glasses. “I’m really glad you came.”
That’s all I say, my eyes drilling into hers. Because as unpleasant as every single one of our encounters has been, I mean it. I’m glad she’s here. At the very least, she’s one more person paying the cover charge. She clearly needs a positive interaction in her life, and Lord knows I need more of them in mine.
She doesn’t say anything back, but I see her eyebrows raise in surprise. Kill ‘em with kindness. Just kill ‘
em with kindness.
I walk back to the bar and put everything down, then I turn back around to sit at a table at the back of the room. I rest for a minute, giving my tired feet a break. They are about two sizes too big for these wedges that Josie lent me, but she’s right, they totally “make the outfit.”
People are dancing and laughing and clapping with the band, and then the song changes. One of the band members strums his acoustic guitar nice and slow, and couples start gathering on the floor, swaying back and forth to the sweet, sad notes coming from the stage.
“Hey,” I hear Jesse say as he steps next to my chair. I look up at him.
“Hey,” I answer. Suddenly, he holds his hand out, and I find it hard to take a deep breath.
“Dance with me.” He says it like a statement, but that nervous look in his eyes tells me it’s more of a question. It’s more of a hope, a wish. I narrow my eyes at him, and a smile tugs at one corner of my mouth. I can feel eyes on us—particularly my sister’s, Josie’s, and Amber’s, but I don’t care. Not tonight. I slowly slip my hand into his and let him pull me to my feet.
“Hold on,” I say, kneeling down to unbuckle these godforsaken shoes. He pauses, holding me up as I wobble, then smiles as I sink down to my normal height. He leads me to the back corner of the floor and quickly places his hand on my back, pulling me into him in one fast movement, like he’s afraid I might change my mind. We begin swaying to the music, and I’m impressed with how well he’s moving. I didn’t pin him to be a dancer. Mr. Rowan is full of small, sexy surprises.
We don’t speak for a beat or two, but with every passing moment, I feel him pull me a little bit closer to him. His thumb strokes my bare back through the keyhole opening in Josie’s blue dress, and even though the barn is toasty in the summer heat, his touch leaves a trail of goosebumps all over my skin.
Rowan Revived Page 17