Perfect Pleasures

by Deborah Fletcher Mello

  Not having her father in her life and watching her mother blow through one reject after another had kept Kenzie on the defensive when it came to her own relationships. She had never been willing to risk her heart. She learned early how to feed her natural desire for human connection, but giving her body had never come with any contingencies that involved her head or her heart. Lust didn’t require commitment, only a condom.

  And suddenly everything had changed. Kenzie was back in her father’s country, following the desires of her own heart and a man who had her full attention. She wanted to get it right, to do it better than her parents had ever imagined, and she knew deep in her heart that flying back to New York wouldn’t help that happen. She wanted Zachary, and her wanting him was about so much more than her body and how he made her feel with his touch. This time, whether she was ready to acknowledge it or not, her head and her heart were caught up in the fray.

  * * *

  “Did you not think you should have checked with me first?” Kenzie stood with her hands on her hips as two staff members moved her personal possessions—a suitcase, her computer, her makeup bag, and a shopping bag of souvenirs—into Zachary’s second bedroom. They were eyeing her out of the corners of their eyes, fearful that she might lash out at one or the other of them. “Maybe I don’t want to be moved!” she screamed.

  Zachary shrugged his broad shoulders as he took a sip from his bottle of beer. “What are you mad about? You haven’t slept over there in weeks!”

  Kenzie hissed. “That’s not the point,” she snapped as she cut her eyes toward the two men, who’d come to a standstill.

  “Well, what’s the point, Kenzie? Do you not want to be here? If you don’t want to be here, I will personally help you pack your bags and check you out. I’ll even arrange for a ride to the airport!”

  “So now you want me to leave?”

  Zachary rolled his eyes skyward. He pointed the two men toward the door, closing it after them. He turned to give her a look, then walked past her, not bothering to respond to her comment.

  “Aargh!” Kenzie screamed, fury washing over her expression.

  Zachary tossed her a look over his shoulder. A wry smirk painted his expression. “Keep it up, and see if it I don’t put you over my knee.”

  “You wouldn’t dare!” she gushed as she stomped after him.

  He suddenly turned toward her, and she came to an abrupt stop, taking a quick step back. “Why are you having a fit?” he asked. “I moved you into my home. I didn’t excise your kidney.”

  “You didn’t ask me,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You just assumed and did it without my consent. That’s not cool.”

  Zachary took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly past his full lips. “I apologize if I upset you, but there are going to be times that I’m going to make a decision that’s in the best interest of our family that you’re not going to agree with. I’m the head of our home, and you’re just going to have to get over it because I’m not going to ask you to vote or weigh in. There’s no democracy here!”

  Kenzie bristled, her eyes widening. “That’s wholeheartedly arrogant and sexist! And I guess you want me barefoot and pregnant, too?”

  “Naked, barefoot, pregnant, and on your knees works well for me.”

  The look Kenzie gave him made Zachary laugh out loud. He turned back toward the outside and stepped out onto the patio, still chuckling heartily.

  She was suddenly struck by the absurdity of their conversation. Our family. Our home. Since making the announcement, Zachary had been talking about the two of them as if they were already an old married couple. And she’d responded in kind; their bickering was reminiscent of a duo who’d been together longer than dirt and sand. She was suddenly just as amused by their exchange as he was. She giggled softly, her head waving from side to side.

  “You are so crass,” she said as she joined him outside. “On my knees? Really?”

  He shrugged his shoulders a second time. “A man can dream, can’t he? You do that thing with your tongue so well,” he grinned.

  She tossed up her hands. “You really are impossible!”

  He met her gaze as he wiggled an index finger and gestured for her to come to him. She moved slowly, still wanting to linger in her anger for a moment longer.

  “What?”

  He tapped his lap, then opened his arms, holding them out wide.

  With her own eye roll, she eased herself against him, settling down comfortably as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her forehead and then her cheek before letting his lips connect with hers.

  It had taken very little to send her over the edge. They had already cleared out her cottage when she’d come back from the beach, finding all of her belongings being carted off. He’d been excited to share his plans for the two of them—her coming to stay in his space since she’d already taken up residence in his bed every night. But Kenzie hadn’t taken the news lightly, going from one to a hundred in a split second. For a brief moment, he’d second-guessed his decision, but the shimmer of energy in her eyes had told him they were definitely on the right track. Kenzie wasn’t going to be a passive partner. She would be fully engaged, and she would keep him on his toes. She was everything he needed in a woman multiplied by ten.

  One of his hands slid between her legs, and she pressed her knees tightly together to trap his fingers. The other traced her full buttocks, his fingers teasing. Heat radiated through them both, and he gasped for air as they broke the connection.

  “You said our family like we’re a couple or something,” Kenzie muttered.

  “We are a couple,” he replied, lightly licking her lips.

  “I don’t remember you asking me if that’s what I wanted with you,” she whispered loudly.

  He chuckled softly. “You really need to learn how to just go with the flow. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack the way you go off about absolutely nothing.” He kissed her again.

  She inhaled a deep breath when he finally let her lips go. “It might be nothing to you, but it’s something to me. You need to keep that in mind when you catch yourself taking charge.” She nuzzled her cheek against his. “I’m not interested in being with a tyrant.”

  “And I don’t plan to be with a brat.”

  “I’m not a brat.”

  “You have brat-like tendencies.”

  “I do not!”

  “Yes, you do. You’re spoiled, and you’re bitter, and you have a tendency to be hostile toward men.”

  “And you are self-absorbed, egotistical and . . . well . . . you just piss me off sometimes!” Kenzie snapped, instantly dreading that they were going tit for tat.

  Zachary shrugged. “Sounds like we’re perfect for each other.”

  “Sounds like it.”

  He tightened the hold he had around her waist. Neither said anything for a good few minutes, settling into the silence. In the distance the sun was beginning to set, disappearing past the line of trees that bordered the property. Instinctively, both knew things between them had changed, the dynamics of their relationship having morphed into something neither had expected. The wealth of it was overwhelming and intense and wholeheartedly comfortable.

  Zachary cupped his palm beneath her chin and twisted her face to his. He kissed her lips again, his mouth gently brushing hers. When he pulled back, he closed his eyes for a quick minute and took a deep breath. Blowing it out slowly, he opened his eyes and stared into hers. “I’m falling in love with you, Kenzie,” he whispered. Their gazes were locked tight, the bond suddenly formidable.

  Kenzie felt her body begin to shake. She wasn’t sure how to respond, not sure she had the words for all the emotion she was feeling, so she didn’t say anything at all.

  “It’s okay,” he said, reading her mind. “It scares the hell out of me, too.”

  They sat together for a good long while, trading easy caresses and saying nothing. The sun had completely disappeared, and the automatic nightlights h
ad switched on. It was a moment Kenzie knew she’d never forget as she reflected on everything he’d said, most especially his last comment. Because she was scared, and if she were honest with herself, and with him, she wasn’t falling in love with Zachary Barrett. She was already there. Zachary owned every square inch of her heart.

  Chapter Nine

  Zachary’s secrets were suddenly haunting him. And they were haunting him because he suddenly felt obligated to share everything with a woman who had gotten under his skin. Kenzie was like a deep itch he couldn’t scratch, everything about her crawling deep beneath his skin. She had him out of sorts, and he was feeling beside himself with regret and concern because he knew something he needed to share with her and didn’t have a clue when or if he’d ever be able to tell her.

  He had never had a relationship where he kept things from his partner. His ex-wife had played those tricks, and after the fiasco that had been his first marriage, he had sworn to never purposely deceive any woman he claimed to care about. He would never lie to the woman he loved, and he was determined to get that same respect back.

  What he was feeling for Kenzie was more than casual concern. He saw her occupying every aspect of his life. He trusted her and looked forward to the moments they would inevitably share and the opportunities that would propel them into their future together. And wanting theirs to be a love of a lifetime had his past haunting him.

  Sarai could hear the frustration in his tone when he finally answered her call. “Hey, what’s up?” Zachary said.

  “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. How are you doing? It’s been a minute since we last spoke.”

  “It hasn’t been that long!”

  “It’s been a good few weeks. You haven’t returned any of my calls. If my father hadn’t kept me updated, I wouldn’t know what was going on.”

  “That’s why I knew I didn’t need to call you. Gamon wasn’t going to let you miss out on anything. I’m sure he’s kept you all in my business.”

  “Your business, yes, but he hasn’t answered any of the questions I wanted to know. Like what’s up with you and Kenzie? How are things going?”

  “They’re good.”

  “What did you think about her article?” Sarai asked.

  Zachary’s gaze shifted to the advance copy of the sports magazine that rested on his desk. He and his brother graced the cover, his image front and center, while his brother was at his side, his profile visible. The two held onto his fight belt, the photo taken right after his last title win. The bruise on his cheek had been airbrushed away, and both men actually looked GQ ready. It was a good photo.

  He’d read the article a few times. Kenzie had done them both well, even when she had pointed out that everything wasn’t always roses and apple pie with him. She’d called him out on his bad behavior, but she’d been right, so he couldn’t even begin to be mad about it. All in all, it was one of the better articles ever written about him.

  “Kenzie did a good job. I’m not mad about it.”

  “Alexander liked it too.” Sarai took a deep breath. “So are you and Kenzie a thing now?”

  “We’re friends.”

  There was an awkward pause, and Zachary could almost see the exasperation on his friend’s face.

  “You really like her!” Sarai suddenly exclaimed, unable to contain the excitement in her voice.

  Zachary shook his head as he grinned into the receiver. “There you go!”

  “There I go? I’m just looking for information. She’s still in Phuket, so something must be going on. Her article comes out next week, so she doesn’t have any reason to be there. At least none that anyone is sharing with me.”

  “We’re getting to know each other, so she decided to stay for a little longer.”

  “So you moved her into your house?”

  “I thought you didn’t know anything?” Zachary laughed heartily.

  “I know enough to know there’s more going on than what you’re actually saying.”

  “I think I might be in love with her!” Zachary gushed, suddenly spilling information like a hydrant gone awry.

  When he finished updating her, Kenzie was laughing with him. “Why does this sound really serious?” she asked.

  “Because I think it is, Sarai! I really want to keep her! Is that crazy?”

  Sarai laughed. “She’s not a pet, Zachary. You just don’t get to keep her like she’s some kind of toy!”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do. You don’t want to lose her. She’s become important to you.”

  “That too,” he said casually.

  There was a moment of pause before either spoke, Sarai continuing the conversation. “My father says she’s Kai Tamura’s daughter.”

  The laughter in Zachary’s tone suddenly fizzled. “Yeah.”

  “Does she know?”

  He shook his head as if she could see him. “No. Kenzie doesn’t know anything, and you know I can’t tell her.”

  “Well, you have to tell her,” Sarai said matter-of-factly. “She deserves to know.”

  “I promised him, Sarai.”

  “Zachary, you can’t commit to Kenzie without telling her the truth. A relationship based on lies isn’t a relationship.”

  “And how is that conversation going to go? Oh, by the way, I know where your father is, and he doesn’t want to see you?”

  “How about telling Kenzie that her father is dying and he didn’t want her to know?”

  “Don’t say it like that, Sarai.” There was a wealth of melancholy in his voice, his whole demeanor suddenly weighed down with sadness.

  Understanding swept between them. It wasn’t the first time they’d had a conversation like this, but it was the first time Zachary understood why his friend had always advocated for him to do what was right, not necessarily what his mentor had begged from him.

  Sarai’s compassion was abundant. “You know it’s the truth, Zachary. It’s a burden you’ve carried for far too long. Tell her, but be prepared for the fallout.”

  “What fallout?”

  “Kenzie is going to be upset. And she’s probably going to be very angry with you. Don’t be surprised if she reacts badly.”

  Zachary cussed, spitting a long line of expletives past his full lips.

  “She really has rubbed off on you,” Sarai said with a giggle, remembering how casually the other woman would curse.

  He blew a loud sigh. “If it were your father and I didn’t tell you, how would you feel?” he questioned.

  “I would never forgive you,” Sarai said. “It would destroy everything between us. And that’s why you need to tell her. Don’t let it ruin what you two have if being with her means that much to you.”

  He sighed a second time, pausing to reflect on her comment.

  Sarai was shaking her head on the other end. “Do you want me to pass your brother the phone now or do you want to call him later to get his opinion?”

  Zachary grunted softly. “I’ll call him later.”

  “Whatever, but I’m sure he’s going to agree with me. Alexander is going to tell you the exact same thing!”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”

  “I’m still not sure if she’s good enough for you, Zachary!”

  He laughed. “Trust me. She’s as perfect for me as you were for my twin!”

  Zachary and Sarai continued to talk for a good hour or more before finally ending their conversation. After he’d disconnected the call, he realized just how much he had missed bantering back and forth with his friend. She was happy, and he could hear it in her voice. She genuinely wanted the best for him, wishing him and Kenzie well. He also knew she was right about needing to be open and honest with the woman who kept him on edge. But the thought of telling Kenzie the truth stirred up feelings he wasn’t able to confront yet, feelings that kept him up at night.

  He didn’t bother to call his brother. Alexander had texted a quick message, reiterating what Sarai had said. Zachary knew he
needed to tell Kenzie the truth, and he needed to do it sooner than later. But he couldn’t fathom where to begin.

  His time with Kai had seemed like a lifetime ago. He’d been young and determined to make his mark in a business and culture he knew nothing about. It had been his ex-wife’s suggestion that they just pack up their lives and move to Thailand. Lacking maturity and being naïve, he’d trusted that the ex-Mrs. Barrett had his best interest at heart. Once he’d arrived, he realized he was in way over his head.

  Finding Kai had been a twist of fate. Alexander had tried a number of boxing gyms before finding his way to Tamura’s. The grand champion had been larger than life, mean as spit, and an amazing instructor. The two had taken an instant dislike to each other.

  It had taken months of fights and sparring with better-known Thai fighters before the day Kai had stood ringside, seeing something in him that Zachary himself hadn’t known was there. Days later, Kai had called him to the office of his training facility and had personally taken Zachary under his wing. Zachary had been ecstatic. Then real fear set in. Zachary’s natural talent and his love of the sport had meshed nicely with all that Kai had brought to the table. But building a bond between them had come after much hard work.

  Kai Tamura had been a legend for a reason. The man’s talents far exceeded anything Zachary had ever known. Kai had sometimes pushed him well past his limits and had never once allowed him to quit. The two men had eventually become more family than friends, with Kai a surrogate father of sorts. Zachary respected Kai with every fiber of his being, and there had been nothing that he wouldn’t have done for him. Even promising to take his friend’s secrets to the grave.

  Zachary had held his first title belt and was preparing for his second title fight when Kai had been diagnosed with a rare form of early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. He’d been dealing with Kai’s descent into dementia ever since.

  Statistically, Kai was among the one percent of people with Alzheimer’s who get the early-onset form of the illness. The series of changes in his brain had begun decades before the symptoms of his disease had been noticed by those closest to him. When it had become clear that something wasn’t right, the official diagnosis had been devastating to them both.