Relic

by Bronwyn Eley

  Knocking my hands out of the way, he surged forward and grasped my throat. Air stopped flowing. Panic writhed within me.

  He laughed again.

  ‘I’m doing everyone a favour,’ he whispered. ‘You are dangerous. Corrupt. You will kill us all.’

  Maybe he was right. I had nearly killed him. Who would be my next victim?

  My vision blurred, taking all sense with it. As I fought against unconsciousness and my eyes cleared, Palark’s face changed, and Markus appeared in his place.

  He wasn’t real. He was nothing more than a comfort conjured by my panicking mind. But his face did nothing to comfort me. His eyes dripped malice, lips curling in hate, as if the mere feeling of my breath on his face was too much.

  A scream. Mine or his?

  A soft hand pressed to my cheek, and suddenly the weight was gone. The attack was over. I was free.

  I launched myself off the ground, crashing into the wall behind me. My head shot from side to side, searching for Palark, but the halls were empty and silent.

  I looked for my saviour.

  Crouched on the floor where I had been, Jesper watched me hesitantly, one hand held out in front of her. Did she think that wavering hand would be enough to protect herself from me? I was dangerous. Corrupt.

  I brought a shaking hand up to my throat, preparing for the pain, but felt nothing. No soreness, no bruises. Frowning, I looked at Jesper. She stood slowly, both hands now held out.

  ‘Kaylan?’

  She had every reason to sound afraid. Palark was right about me.

  ‘Where did he go?’ My voice sounded strange. I spoke too quickly.

  ‘Who?’ Jesper inched a step forward but I retreated. What if I hurt her next?

  ‘Palark!’ I nearly shouted, looking around again.

  Jesper took more steps, her hands finally reaching me. She took my shoulders and forced my gaze back to her. ‘What happened?’

  ‘Palark attacked me.’ Tears shuddered out of me and I fell forward into Jesper’s arms.

  ‘It was a nightmare, Kaylan.’ She spoke so softly, her heartbeat gentle against my thundering chest. She was so fragile. I could hurt her even now. Kill her, as I had tried to do to Palark.

  ‘No,’ I sobbed. ‘He was here.’

  ‘No,’ Jesper insisted, pulling me upright. ‘Palark isn’t even in the city. He left with me weeks ago and, to my knowledge, wasn’t planning to return anytime soon.’

  He wasn’t here?

  I tore away from Jesper, causing her to stumble back, and retreated backward down the hall.

  Jesper was very still. ‘Kaylan.’ It sounded like a warning. ‘Kaylan, it’s alright. You’re alright.’

  I felt the tremor of laughter before I knew what I was doing. Markus had said the Relic would break my mind. I certainly felt broken.

  ‘Does that mean you’re not real, either?’ I slowly crouched to the ground. ‘I just got your letter. Maybe this is just my mind wishing you were here instead of on a piece of parchment.’

  ‘I’m real,’ Jesper said firmly. ‘Rennard sent for me a few hours after I had the letter dispatched.’

  She reached out to me, delicate hand lingering in the air, waiting for mine. I didn’t care if she was real or not. This was one hallucination I was glad for. Her fingers curled around my hand and she pulled me to my feet.

  I eyed her, and her eyebrow quirked. ‘I’m real,’ she said again.

  I looked down at our clasped hands. I loved my brothers, but had always wanted a sister. Preferably an older one – someone to take care of me, for once.

  With a gentle tug from Jesper, I followed her into the grounds. We didn’t speak as she led me into the gardens, straying from the pebbled path onto the grass.

  We stopped. A large tree lay fallen, its splintered base waiting idly without a purpose. Three men worked to break it into pieces. Two more men were on their knees, packing soil around plants and flowers. Their movements fell still when they spotted us.

  ‘My lady!’ the largest man said by way of greeting.

  ‘Ash.’ Jesper held out a hand. His wide, dirty palm enveloped hers. She gestured to the tree. ‘Was this your doing?’

  Ash shook his head. ‘It fell down in the middle of the night. We’ve been out here all morning trying to clean up the mess.’

  Jesper looked toward the men tending to the damaged garden bed. Releasing my hand, she reached down and slid off her shoes.

  ‘Boys,’ Ash called, a grin spreading across his rough expression. ‘Come give us a hand here.’ The men dropped their tools and stood up. With soft greetings to Jesper, they went to work on the tree. Shards of bark shot out, fleeing the axes.

  Jesper nodded to my shoes. ‘Take them off.’

  I did as she asked and together we knelt by the garden bed. Jesper began to cut away the damaged parts of a plant. I looked at the small tree below me. Some branches stood strong, while others wilted. I took up my shears and removed the broken ones.

  So this was where Jesper came to escape.

  ‘I didn’t expect you to come back so soon,’ I said as we worked, remembering that she usually only visited a few times a year.

  ‘Neither did I,’ Jesper said grimly.

  ‘Why do you suppose he sent for you?’

  ‘Considering how angry he was when he sent me away, I’m just as baffled as you are.’ Jesper grabbed a fistful of soil and packed it tightly around the plant.

  ‘I heard what you did.’ I brushed my fingers through the soil, creating a wild pattern. ‘You defended me. I know what a risk that was.’

  Jesper waved me off. ‘He should know better by now.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  She scoffed. ‘He understands the Relic he wields. He knows his power. How he can ignore the fact that your actions were a direct result of that thing is beyond me.’ A pause. ‘He should have been more lenient.’

  ‘I attacked someone,’ I said quietly. ‘A Nobleman. He had to react accordingly.’

  Jesper sat back on her heels and shook her head. ‘He doesn’t deserve your understanding, Kaylan. Be mad.’ She threw her shears down. ‘Lords, be vengeful. I certainly would be.’

  For a second I imagined telling her that I was, in fact, planning to be vengeful.

  But only for a second.

  I shook my head. ‘There’s no point.’

  She took up her shears again and snipped at another dead branch.

  ‘He’s frightening me.’ The words were out before I could catch my tongue.

  Jesper shot me a look. ‘What has he done?’

  ‘Never mind. It’s nothing.’

  ‘Kaylan,’ Jesper sighed. ‘Tell me.’

  ‘He just seems …’ I paused, searching for the right word. The first one that came to mind was cruel. The way he treated me after the incident, torturing me with Mr Alarn’s suffering, tormenting that city guard.

  I thought of the way he tore apart his room. I had never seen him angry at Thorn before, either. Every mistake had been dealt with by brutal retaliation. What if it only got worse?

  Jesper waited, eyes full of fear and curiosity.

  ‘Angry,’ I said finally.

  ‘Angry, how?’ she pushed.

  ‘He’s been yelling more,’ I admitted, recalling all the times I had cringed away from his booming voice. ‘At his guards, mostly. Even Thorn.’

  ‘He yelled at Thorn?’ Jesper put her shears down again. ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Something about Thorn’s men and – sedition.’ I dropped my voice on the last word, remembering that we weren’t alone. ‘He also struck Thorn.’

  Jesper frowned. ‘Thorn worked for Ren’s father. He’s been by Ren’s side his whole life.’ She spoke quietly, as if talking to herself, working through the information. ‘Anything else?’

  ‘He – trashed his room the other day.’ Snip. Another dead branch cut away. ‘Took his sword to everything.’

  Snip.

  ‘I’m sure it’s nothing.’ Je
sper’s voice picked up and her smile returned. ‘Perhaps he’s been unwell.’

  I sat back. It wasn’t the response I was expecting. Any rational person would react at being told her husband had turned physically violent. Yet I had the feeling Jesper knew what it meant and was trying to move past the subject.

  I knew why Rennard had done those things. Bellamy.

  Was that why she was called back? If Bellamy was going after Rennard’s line, Jesper would be a part of that, blood relative or not. She was in danger.

  ‘It’s that man,’ I murmured. Jesper’s head snapped up. My heart hammered, told me to stay silent. But I didn’t. ‘I think Rennard’s afraid. I think he’s afraid of Bel—’

  ‘Stop it,’ Jesper whispered furiously.

  ‘Can’t we just talk about this?’

  ‘No,’ she said curtly.

  ‘But I know this is happening, as do you, so why deny it?’

  ‘Because it’s not your place,’ Jesper snapped, her voice still very quiet. ‘And poking around for this information could get you into more trouble.’

  ‘But Rennard involved me himself –’

  ‘Lords, just drop it, Kaylan!’ she hissed. ‘Please.’

  I dropped my shears instead and walked away.

  The room swelled with heat.

  Bodies surrounded the long table; the Councilmen had been called to assembly, and I was sweating from the task of setting up the hall for their arrival.

  The men had filed in silently and taken their usual seats, their attention now on their Lord. My eyes flicked to a foreign man at the other end of the table. His hair was the colour of flames. There were three unfamiliar faces in the room, but something about this one held my attention. He had barely looked up. He scratched, scraped and squeezed his reddening right thumb with the rest of his fingers.

  Why so nervous?

  ‘– that makes seven crops, my lord,’ Nobleman Hern, Councilman of Agriculture, was saying. Unkind to his son, or so I had heard. ‘The men have been ferrying water from Lake Notth, but it hasn’t worked as well as we had hoped.’

  ‘This is normal. It happens every year.’ Nobleman Adock sat forward. ‘At the height of the Sun Season, it always dries out –’

  ‘This is worse than normal,’ Hern interjected, shooting a pleading look at Rennard, who simply took a sip of water. ‘We need extra hands, my lord, to strengthen the crops. Perhaps if we –’

  ‘How is your wife, Garet?’ Rennard’s bored voice cut through the man’s words. Hern sank back in his chair, forgotten.

  The foreign man with red hair looked up, skin so pale among our brown tones. Even without the hair, he would have stood out. He released his thumb and cleared his throat. ‘She is well, my lord.’

  ‘I heard you had a boy.’ Rennard tilted his chin up, as if to get a better look at Garet. ‘Congratulations.’

  Garet’s face fell. ‘That we did.’

  ‘I heard he takes after his mother.’

  ‘Yes,’ Garet said quietly. ‘He does.’

  Rennard shifted forward. ‘And what of your brother?’

  Garet’s eyes tightened and dropped to the table. He seemed to play the words on his tongue before answering. ‘Little has changed since I responded to your query, my lord. I haven’t seen or heard from him in many months.’

  ‘How many months, exactly?’

  ‘Coming up to a half-year.’

  ‘Strange.’ Rennard’s voice was mocking. ‘You know, no matter how many men I send out …’ He shrugged. ‘None of them seem to be able to track Bellamy down.’

  I worked to hide my interest. Garet was Bellamy’s brother. Garet, a Nobleman, which meant –

  Garet cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. ‘I have also sent out men to look for him, my lord. Some west along the road to Hange and others into Llnar Pass.’

  Bellamy was nobility. No wonder Rennard was so desperate to find him. To have someone in such a position turn against him, against all of them, would surely be considered the ultimate betrayal. The nobility all swore to serve their respective Lords for life. Which Lord did Garet and his brother serve?

  Rennard cocked his head. ‘A lot of small spaces in Llnar Pass where your brother could hide. Tight caves, winding paths, loose rocks. Not exactly the safest place.’

  ‘Which is why I sent men there,’ Garet said flatly.

  Rennard chuckled. ‘Bellamy always was reckless.’

  ‘Free-spirited, I remember you calling him once.’ Garet’s eyes flared, if only for a moment, then settled.

  ‘Fine line,’ Rennard said coolly. ‘We all know what happens next.’

  Garet swallowed slowly, as if his fear was lodged in his throat.

  Rennard nodded. ‘Well, then. Be sure to inform me when you find him. I have many questions.’

  Bellamy played on my mind as the day wore on. What made a Nobleman turn into a rebel? Had something happened in his city, with his Lord? Was he simply mad or greedy or jealous?

  I bent down to pick up Jesper’s nightgown, crumpled at the base of the cupboard in Rennard’s chambers.

  Did he look like his brother? I tried to picture him – a faceless man with red hair. Who was this person, whose cause I was aiding? Not that I had actually learned anything useful yet. I paused, a discarded book in one hand, Jesper’s gown in the other.

  Maybe I had.

  Assuming Garet knew his brother as well as he claimed, then either Bellamy or his men could be hiding in Llnar Pass. I had never seen the Pass myself, but had heard enough from merchants over the years to know it wasn’t a place someone would choose to remain for long.

  The chance of this information actually helping was small, but it was something, at least. Easy, simple facts to show them I was playing their game. A small risk to ensure my brother was kept out of it.

  I was still thinking it over later as I pushed open the door to the library. The room was silent at first, but then a loud crash came from the upper floor, followed by a copious amount of swearing.

  ‘Keithan?’

  ‘One minute!’ he called angrily. A moment later he came into view, pieces of a splintered stool in each hand. He hurled them down the stairs and stomped after them.

  ‘Are you hurt?’

  He scoffed and held up a book with torn pages. ‘Only my books.’

  ‘Here.’ I held out the one I had brought from Rennard’s room. ‘Could I borrow some parchment and ink?’

  Keithan glanced up at me through his messy hair. ‘Want to write me a love poem?’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘Not today.’

  ‘Ah, well.’ He shrugged and walked over to a small chest of drawers, pulling out what I needed and placing it on the table. ‘Another letter for Jesper?’

  ‘She’s back, actually.’ I sat. Keithan made no comment. ‘This one is for my family.’

  He nodded. ‘You haven’t seen them since …?’

  ‘No,’ I lied, keeping my eyes on the letter. ‘I don’t exactly get out much.’

  ‘How are you feeling?’ He nodded to my left hand, which was holding the paper onto the table.

  I shrugged dismissively, tucking my hand under my leg and starting to write. Keithan, taking the hint, moved back to the upper level and disappeared down an aisle.

  I miss you, I wrote. Bex had told me to mask my writing as best I could, but to make the message as clear as possible.

  I’m sorry I haven’t written sooner. Work has been challenging. I wish I could take some time off and go travelling. I long to hide myself away somewhere quiet, cold and isolated. Somewhere no one could find me, even if they were looking. But I hear things of the outside world. I’m not sure I could make it past Llnar Pass.

  I wasn’t sure they would understand what I’d written, but I folded the note and tucked it into my pocket anyway. Just in time, as Keithan returned and placed a pile of books in front of me.

  ‘All done?’

  ‘Thank you.’ I stood a little too quickly and gripped the table for
support as my head spun.

  ‘You’ve lost more weight,’ Keithan noted.

  ‘Surprised?’ I grumbled, finally able to see clearly. ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Are you eating?’

  ‘Enough.’

  Keithan shook his head. ‘You need energy.’

  ‘What I can keep down, I use, alright?’ I snapped.

  He cocked his brows. ‘You finished with being a smartarse? It doesn’t help us.’

  ‘You made it clear you don’t want to help me.’

  ‘Don’t want to and can’t are extreme opposites. I never lied to you about finding nothing.’ Keithan paused. ‘You could see the Physician. Some of them did in the past. I don’t know if it helped any, but –’

  ‘They still died,’ I interjected. ‘So I’d say it didn’t help any.’

  He chuckled darkly. ‘You know, negativity poisons nearly as much as the Relic does. I’ve never been friends with a Shadow before, so I’ve never had the chance to tell them that. No one ever came to me for help, apart from –’

  He cleared his throat.

  I scoffed. ‘Friends, huh?’

  He gave a lopsided shrug. ‘It’s always the same. From what I can gather, when they finally realise just how hopeless it is, their minds take over.’ He frowned, eyes distant. ‘You can see it when they give up. It’s clear as day on their bodies. Sour tones. Harsh words. No smile.’

  He assessed me closely. ‘Your skin is starting to sag. Right there.’ He pointed to my arms. ‘And a little on your face.’

  ‘I can’t keep food down. Not much, anyway. I’m tired, Keithan.’

  ‘You can fight this. It doesn’t have to end this quickly. I’ve seen them last years.’

  ‘Well, maybe I’m not that strong,’ I snapped. ‘Maybe it would be better for it to just end. The longer I’m in here, the longer my family has to receive those ridiculous bags–’ I thought of the coin purses I had seen by the front door at home. From what I could tell, my mother hadn’t touched the money.

  ‘This is it for me. This is all I get. What happens in the future will happen without me. Maybe I just want it to end.’

  ‘What you want is a way out,’ Keithan said calmly. ‘That’s why you have me reading through books I’ve read before to find information I know isn’t there. There’s no cure for this, Kaylan. There’s no escaping him or it. Accepting that is impossible, I know. Some part of you will always be fighting.’