Every Waking Dream

by Lauren Eason

  “It’s not like that, Jess.”

  “Then explain it to me,” she insisted. I could tell she was upset by the way her voice shook. It was difficult for me to see her this way. It was a betrayal I had hoped she would never have the displeasure of feeling. She waited patiently for my response as she moved a little further away from me on the bed, a gesture that sent my heart into my gut.

  “I’ve tried to tell people in the past. All of which have come back to haunt me,” I tried to explain. “I told our parents once. You were about six-years-old at the time, so I understand why you wouldn’t remember it. Our parents were good at keeping secrets, even back then.”

  “I take it that didn’t go well,” Jess commented.

  “You’d be correct,” I sighed. “Of course, they didn’t believe me. That was the first time I felt like I would never have anyone to share my secret with. If my own parents didn’t trust me, then how could anyone else?”

  “But what about Charlie?” Jess asked impatiently.

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted, thinking back to the situation. “Charlie had seen me in his dream once. He recognized me, and when I told him about the dream he had, without him having told me prior...I won’t ever forget the look in his eyes as his smile faded away to be replaced with trembling fear. It was like I had opened a door for him that he never wanted. I might not have a choice about what I see in others, but I do get to decide who knows about it.”

  “You’ve been in my dreams,” she stated, nervously.

  I nodded, not sure if she wanted to hear the truth. She inhaled a shaky breath and waited for me to continue.

  “Go on,” she urged. “What have you seen?”

  “Jess, you have to understand that it was never my intention to invade your privacy—”

  “What have you seen?” she shouted, standing from the bed. I knew where this was going, and I didn’t want to twist the knife.

  “Nothing that’s not obvious,” I tried to convey. “I know you have feelings for Max. I know you really like playing the piano—”

  “Before that,” Jess insisted. “You’ve been watching my dreams for years.”

  “I’m not willingly spying on you, Jess. How could you even think that?” I asked, standing from my seat. “Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted to feel exhausted every time I wake up because I’ve been wide awake in someone else’s head? Why do you think I started taking those damn pills in the first place?”

  “Aislin, I—”

  “Let me finish!” I commanded. “You get to be this normal person, with a normal life. Our parents don’t ask you twice where you’re going because you get to live the life that I can’t.”

  “I didn’t choose those pills. I didn’t choose to keep secrets. You did, Aislin,” Jess said softly.

  “And I did it because of shit like this,” I growled, staring my sister down.

  Jess threw up her hands. “Fine, but I believed you even when the truth never came from you in the first place. Remember that.”

  Jess left me standing in the middle of the room as I watched her walk away to her bedroom across the hall. Closing my eyes, I released a sigh, frustration boiling in my veins. I expected a conversation like that in the future, but I wasn’t expecting it to pop up now. It was hard enough all the pain I had to endure hopping around from one dream to another with no legitimate sleep in sight.

  As much as I wanted to take my medication and sleep peacefully without bouncing around, I knew that Jess was still counting on me to find Gabrielle and the others. I may have let her down by not being the one to tell her my secret, but I refused to be the reason behind her sorrow at losing a friend.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Are you okay?” Raven asked as we sat at lunch together. I pushed my food around on my tray as the others stopped their conversation to hear my answer to her question.

  “Oh, I’m fine. I had a conversation with Jess about you know what, and it didn’t go too well. She hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday.” It was no use trying to avoid her question, so the next best option was honesty.

  “What situation is ‘you know what’?” Ben asked with his mouth full.

  “It’s none of our business,” Jason mumbled under his breath to his brother.

  Ben swallowed his food. “Oops, sorry. Sore subject. Got it.”

  “She’s upset because of Gabrielle?” Raven asked, confused.

  “No...it’s a little more complicated than that. It has to do with you telling her about the situation before I got a chance to. She feels like I couldn’t trust her. I don’t blame her,” I admitted sadly.

  Raven placed an arm around my shoulder while the boys continued on with their food. They struck up another conversation as I tried to remain interested in the happenings around the school. My mind wandered to the youth outreach program I would visit this afternoon with Jess—if she still even wanted to go.

  “What time should I meet you after school?” Raven asked, grabbing my attention.

  “Oh, um, I suppose meet me at my locker right after the last bell. That was the plan with Jess,” I answered.

  “What are you two doing after school?” Ben asked. Jason knocked him over the back of his head, directing a stern glare in his direction.

  “It’s okay,” I chuckled. “It’s nothing private. We’re all heading over to the recreational center where the outreach program meets. I’m taking your advice to sign up for the school newspaper—finally.”

  “That should be fun. We can follow you over,” Jason added. “Ben and I are heading there this afternoon too. Coach has us volunteer there once a week to get kids interested in sports, either within their schools or for fun.”

  “Is there anything you can’t do?” I asked with a smile. Raven and Ben slid their chairs back, so Jason and I had a clear view of each other. I rolled my eyes at their childish antics as they laughed, pulling their chairs back up to the table.

  Raven’s laughter ceased as she turned her head towards the direction of Melissa. Her gait was with a purpose, like a lioness on the prowl, and our little table had become her prey. Raven rolled her head over to glance at me as she stuck her tongue out, pretending to be dead. As Melissa approached the table, she sat up straight and clasped her hands together.

  “Hi, Jason,” Melissa cooed as she leaned over the tabletop towards him. “Do you have any plans for homecoming yet?”

  “Well, I...” Jason’s eyes glanced briefly in my direction. “Well...no, not exactly—”

  “Splendid!” she said, perking up. “I was wondering if you’d like to go with me. I’m on the court this year for homecoming queen.”

  “I would, but I sort of have someone else in mind,” Jason finished, rubbing the back of his neck. My face turned red with residual embarrassment for Melissa. I supposed it wasn’t every day a girl like her got turned down in such a public setting.

  “Who?” she demanded, her hands on her hips. “Has she said yes?”

  Jason turned towards me as Raven and Ben once again slid away from the table. “Aislin, this isn’t exactly what I thought of when asking you to homecoming, but would you like to go with me?”

  Melissa shot daggers into my soul as her anger rose with each word. Ben and Raven held their breath as they waited for my answer.

  “Y—yes,” I stuttered. “Of course.”

  “Great,” Jason smiled as he turned back to Melissa. “She said yes.”

  “I heard,” Melissa said flatly before turning on her heel back towards her table. I felt kind of bad for her in a weird way. I had never entered her dreams, but I feel like if I ever did, it would be very lonely.

  “Is she always so intense?” I asked as Ben and Raven scooted up towards the table.

  “Always,” Ben muttered. “I’m sure she’ll have no problem finding another date. I wasn’t the only one who used to be infatuated with her once upon a time.”

  “You mean, someone really wants to get with that beast?” Raven mocked.


  “I thought you two had a—nevermind,” Ben said, quickly changing course when Raven stared him down.

  “Had a what?” I asked, intrigued.

  The bell rang as Raven bolted from the chair, pulling me away. Jason shouted after us, reminding me about the meetup at the outreach program. Raven didn’t let my backpack strap go until we made it outside.

  “What was that about?” I asked, gesturing back towards the cafeteria.

  “Those boys can be so nosy sometimes,” Raven commented, fuming. “It’s annoying as hell.”

  “Wait a minute,” I said as a wicked grin spread across my face. “You and Melissa. You two were a thing.”

  “Don’t remind me,” Raven remarked. “It was brief, and we were freshmen. She swore me to never tell.”

  “You’ve got to tell me,” I insisted as we moseyed towards the gymnasium for class.

  “Ugh,” Raven grunted. “We were young and trying to figure things out. Then one day, she ghosted me. That’s when she came back with this bitchy attitude and started treating me like dirt to impress all her new friends. I was fed up, so I bowed out.”

  “Do you think she may have had feelings for you?” I asked, curious.

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I only know that she dates boys exclusively. I’ve never seen or heard her with another girl since me,” she concluded.

  “How does Ben know?”

  “He knows because I told him. We’re good friends,” Raven added.

  “Are you? I’m super confused because Jason said you two have history. What does that mean exactly?” I was prying, but it was a part of Raven I wanted to discover.

  “It’s hard to explain. We just get each other, but it’s not in a romantic way. Have you ever heard of finding your soulmate, but you only want them around without being anything more than a friend?” she asked.

  “I guess. It’s kind of how I feel with Jess. We have a really close bond.”

  “Exactly! He’s not like a brother, but simply a really chill dude who I could see myself having in my life for a very long time. We tried the whole being together thing, and we agreed we still wanted each other in our lives, just not in that way,” she concluded as we made it to the locker room.

  “That’s really cool and mature,” I stated. “People are so adamant nowadays that girls and boys can’t only be friends with one another. It’s refreshing to see that kind of stuff does exist.”

  “Call me a unicorn,” Raven smirked.

  “You!”

  I turned to see Melissa and a group of girls storming into the locker rooms as I pulled my shirt over my head. She stopped just shy of me as the others gathered around, whipping out their cellphones for a good shot.

  “Did you need something?” I asked. Raven stood behind me, ready to pounce.

  “You think you can swoop in here and have your run of the place and whoever you want. Some pathetic druggie who had to switch schools,” Melissa began. “What’s your game here? Why do you parade around with this anorexic slut?”

  “Melissa, that’s enough,” I warned. “I don’t know what issues you’re dealing with, but taking your anger out on us, isn’t going to solve them for you.”

  “Oh! Did you get that from all the therapy you got in rehab?” she snapped back.

  Raven stepped forward as I stuck my arm out to stop her. I glanced over my shoulder and shook my head. I knew exactly what game she was playing here.

  “I know what you’re doing,” I whispered to her. “And it’s not going to happen.”

  I continued to change and sidestepped her with Raven as we exited the locker rooms. Raven came up behind me as we entered the gym to see the volleyball nets in position for our exercise.

  “Ais, why were you so calm? She disrespected us!” Raven gestured back towards the locker room.

  “Because, Raven, not everything has to end in a fight. You can choose to walk away. Besides, wouldn’t it be convenient if we got into a fight right before homecoming so we couldn’t go?” I asked, begging her to use logic.

  “That’s what she was trying to do? That manipulative little brat!” Raven shouted, hoping Melissa was nearby to hear her as we took a seat on the bleachers.

  “We have to pick our battles, and Melissa isn’t worth it to me. This is the first time I’ve ever been asked to any sort of dance, and by a guy I actually like. No way am I screwing that up for some snotty girl who needs anger management classes,” I declared.

  “Wow...” Raven said.

  “What?”

  “You,” Raven joked. “You’re so hot right now, I could kiss you.”

  “Pfft,” I laughed. “Such flattery will get you nowhere with me.”

  “Girls! Gather around. I have some important announcements to make,” Coach Simmons shouted after blowing her whistle. The others sat down in a row in front of her.

  “We’ll be having a special instructor meet with us for classes for the rest of the week and into the next. His name is Detective Highwater, and he’s agreed, along with Officer Fleming, to teach self-defense classes,” Coach Simmons announced.

  “Is this because of the kidnappings?” a girl asked from the end of the row.

  “Unfortunately, it’s come to the attention of our school that it would behoove all of you to learn how to defend yourselves from an attacker,” she said. “Your training will take place today instead of volleyball like I originally planned. Please welcome them warmly.”

  Detective Highwater and Officer Fleming stepped out from the edge of the gym and lightly jogged over to where Coach Simmons was standing. Detective Highwater was the first to speak.

  “I’m Detective Highwater with the Bay County Police Department. You may have seen me from the news these past couple of weeks. We’ve been invited here by Principal Norman to address public concerns about the safety of our children, which include all of you,” he began. “We’ve already spoken to the boys’ gym class, who will be joining us with each session. While I train them, my female officer, Officer Fleming, will be working alongside you. She’s very skilled in hand to hand combat and defensive techniques.”

  As he spoke, the boys filed in with their coach from the football fields. The gym filled with exaggerated yells and whistles from both sides as they strode in.

  “Are there any questions before we begin?” Detective Highwater asked.

  A girl raised her hand. “Has there been any leads in the case? My parents refuse to let me take the bus to school now since the stop is at the end of our street.”

  “As of now, we’re doing everything in our power to bring these kids home to their families. That’s all I’m at liberty to say at this time,” he answered politely.

  “What about that guy? Steven Thompson?” another girl asked. “I hear he sees kids alone in his home for tutoring. Are you sure that’s all he does?”

  “Unfortunately, I can’t go into any detail about that either. Now, if there are no more questions, let’s get started,” he said, clapping his hands together curtly before walking away.

  Officer Fleming took the stage and acted out several techniques with Coach Simmons as the assailant. We watched as Fleming elbowed her in the solar plexus when she was grabbed from behind, how she twisted the wrist up when she was captured on the shoulder from the front, and how to buck an attacker off from the ground. It all looked simple until we had to partner up and actually perform it.

  Raven was a lousy assailant when it came to forcing herself on me. She often broke out in ridiculous laughter at how bad she was at acting the part. Officer Fleming walked around the groups giving critiques until she landed on ours. It was apparent we had no idea what we were doing.

  “Aislin, when she attacks you, flex your wrist and push your palm up and out towards her nose. This will throw your attacker off balance, allowing you time to get away. Get into a stance where you don’t feel like you’re going to topple over,” Officer Fleming said as she stood behind me. “Now strike.”

  I thrust my palm outward
and connected with Raven’s nose on accident. Her head whipped back as she stumbled, holding her nose. She bowed her head and placed her hands on her knees as Officer Fleming and Coach Simmons ran over to her.

  “Oh my God, Raven! Are you okay?” I asked, rushing towards my friend as she placed her hand in the air to signal to give her a minute. She shook her head and lifted her torso up, and leaned her head back as blood dripped down her chin.

  “I’m alright,” she replied, placing her arms out towards Fleming and Coach Simmons to give her some space.

  “Raven, you’re bleeding,” I gasped, my hand over my mouth.

  “I’ll get her to the nurse’s office,” Officer Fleming began.

  “I’ll take her!” I offered. “It’s the least I can do.”

  “It sure as hell is,” Raven muttered under her breath as she pressed her fingers to the sides of her nose.

  “Raven, are you sure? I can have someone else go with you—”

  “Won’t be necessary, Coach. I’m enjoying Aislin’s guilt at the moment. I would like to revel in it,” Raven joked, trying to chuckle through the pain.

  I escorted Raven by the arm out of the gym as she pinched her nostrils shut. The blood had dried underneath her nose by the time we made it to the nurse’s office. As soon as the nurse saw Raven’s state, she stood up from her desk and dashed around to her. I took a seat in a chair beside Raven cementing my role as the supportive but guilty friend.

  “Let’s take a look,” the nurse said as she lifted Raven’s chin and looked at the bridge of her nose. She gently pressed her fingertips around the swollen area and asked if she had any intense pain.

  “Well, I was standing a little too close during defensive training and caught the brunt of it,” Raven stated. “You think I’ll live?”

  The nurse smiled. “I’m sure you will. It doesn’t look broken, but I’m going to give your parents a call and see if they’d like to take you in, just in case.”

  “Eh, whatever you say,” Raven sighed. She moved over to the single bathroom and washed the blood off her face before returning.