Every Waking Dream

by Lauren Eason

  They took their seats once again as Dr. Clayborn plucked a tissue from the box in front of her and handed it to me. I took it and blew my nose, trying to regain my composure. I watched as the body language between everyone shifted, and we relaxed.

  “This has been one of the most productive sessions I’ve had,” Dr. Clayborn announced. “Now, while I don’t want to ruin the heartfelt moment, I do have to ask you two: what are your plans for your marriage?”

  My mother and father glanced at each other. My father shrugged, not knowing what to say, allowing for my mother to make a decision. “I want to make this work if you’ll still have me.”

  “It’s going to be hard to trust you again,” my father admitted. “I’ll try my best, but you have to meet me halfway.”

  “I’ll do whatever it takes,” my mother promised. “No more drinking?”

  “I can help you with that, Mr. Smith. There’s an AA meeting here. They meet twice a week if you’re interested,” Dr. Clayborn added.

  My father sighed. “If it helps my family.”

  Dr. Clayborn nodded, flipping a page in her notepad and scribbling the details down for my father. She ripped off the sheet of paper and leaned over to hand it to him. My father took it and placed it in his shirt pocket.

  Dr. Clayborn smiled. “Let’s talk about the dynamic of the family, and then I’ll provide each of you with a questionnaire and information to read over for next week.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Dr. Clayborn asked me to stay behind as she waved goodbye to my parents. Jess glanced at me over her shoulder as our mother guided her towards the nearest exit. The good doctor turned to face me in the lobby, placing a comforting hand on my upper arm.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked with a compassionate smile.

  “It’s okay, Dr. Clayborn. You can ask what you really want to. We’re not inside your office anymore.”

  She drew in a deep breath and sighed, her arm falling away from me. “Okay. How has it been without the medication? Are you sleeping at night?”

  “I’ve been better,” I admitted. “I’ve been sleeping fairly soundly. No sleepwalking or lashing out. I could probably use a little more sleep, to be honest.”

  “Detective Highwater told me you’ve given him some precious information in regards to his missing person’s case.” She peered at me over the rim of her glasses, an eyebrow raised. I couldn’t tell if it was in judgment or pride.

  I smirked, looking away from her gaze. “Oh, yeah? Did he tell you that before or after dinner?”

  She chuckled. It was nice talking with her as if she were another regular human being. It was much different than being scrutinized by her psychoanalysis.

  “You seem to have me all figured out. While I can’t say, professionally, you made the right decision to stop your treatment regimen, as your friend, I think you’re doing a fine job. Promise me, you won’t get yourself into trouble. I don’t want to pick up the newspaper one of these mornings and see your face plastered on the front,” Dr. Clayborn warned.

  “Believe me. That’s the last thing I’d want, too,” I agreed. She smiled warmly at me before giving me a hug and sending me on my way.

  While my family and I had a lot to figure out, it was nice knowing that I had a few trustworthy people on my side to help me through everything. As I walked out of the automatic front doors, my parents and Jess were waiting for me under the overhang.

  “How about I cook us some dinner tonight?” my mother asked.

  “Or we could just get pizza and call it a day,” Jess offered. “What do you think, Ais?”

  “Uh—well,” I stammered, not wanting to spoil the moment. “Can I meet you all back at the house? I need to go by Raven’s house real quick to drop off a book.”

  My mother sighed as my father dropped his eyes. It wasn’t a secret anymore about Denise, and I knew they were wondering what I was up to. Raven didn’t need a book, but she deserved to know the truth about her step-mother. She would’ve done the same for me if she had known about it.

  My mother whispered in my father’s ear as he took Jess with him towards the car. Once they disappeared, she stepped closer to me and laid both hands upon my shoulders. “I understand. She’s your best friend, and you want to protect her, but are you sure you want to do this? You could be causing her and her family more harm than good.”

  “I wonder if that was the same thought that ran through your mind when you decided to have an affair with my best friend’s step-mother,” I retorted. “I’ll be civil with you in front of Jess and Dad, but it’s going to take some time before you and I are on good terms. I love you, and I always will, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you right now. I think you should focus on Dad and repairing that relationship. You can come back for me later.”

  “Okay,” my mother whispered as her voice cracked, rubbing the sides of my arms. It broke my heart to see her that way, but I had to stay true to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to accept her with open arms if I was lying to myself about how I felt inside. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

  She turned and left me on the sidewalk as she made her way back to the car with my father and Jess. I felt their eyes watch me as I walked towards my vehicle, opening the door to climb in. Taking off from the parking lot, I headed towards Front Beach Road around the winding roads of low cliffs. Water splashed against the rocks below as the sun hung low in the sky over the ocean.

  Turning onto a short street, I stopped the car in front of an iron gate and pressed the intercom's call button. I heard the number dial as I smiled for the camera watching me.

  “Who is it?” I heard Raven’s voice say on the other end.

  “It’s me. Open up already,” I said. A loud buzzing noise sounded on the other end as the gate slid open along the track. As soon as it was wide enough, I pulled my car through and up the cobbled driveway around a beautiful fountain and floral arrangement in the center of the roundabout.

  I had only been to Raven’s house a few times to pick her up for school when she missed the bus, but the beauty of the stucco mansion with its red-tiled roof and crawling vines left me in awe. It was like she lived in a castle fit for a princess, but I was the only one who knew what actually went on behind its seemingly lovely walls.

  Parking the car, I trotted up the stone steps to the oak front door. Before I could knock, I heard the door unlock from the inside as Raven swung it wide open with a grin. She ushered me inside into the spacious foyer with its tiled floors and winding staircase leading up to the second floor in front of an array of windows.

  “To what do I owe this pleasure?” Raven asked, closing the door behind me.

  “Raven? Who’s here?” I heard a voice say as footsteps tapped against the hardwood floor from a room behind me.

  “Dad, this is Aislin. She’s my friend from school. I don’t think you’ve actually had a chance to meet her since you’ve been busy with work,” Raven said, introducing us.

  “Ah,” he said, taking my hand for a brief shake. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Raven tells me wonderful things. I happen to be in between business meetings at the moment, so you’ve caught me at a good time.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Mason,” I said, returning the gesture.

  He glanced at his smartwatch. “I’m sorry, honey, but I have to take this call. It’s about the meeting tomorrow. It was nice to meet you, Aislin. We should all have dinner sometime soon.”

  With a kiss on Raven’s cheek, he scurried off towards what I presumed was his study, gently closing the French doors behind him.

  “Don’t worry about him,” Raven shrugged. “He’s always busy. So, what’s going on?”

  “Can we talk in private?” I asked, not wanting to be overheard.

  “Sure,” Raven said, slightly worried. She started up the staircase as I followed behind her. When we reached the top, we walked down one of the halls until she opened a door leading into her bedroom. Her walls were a deep pur
ple with black accents of birds and flowers. The drapes and bedding matched the dark décor of the rest of the room.

  Raven flopped onto her massive bed and propped her head on her hand. I ambled around the room, taking in the sight of her dueling monitors on her desk with the latest gadgetry. Taking a seat in her gaming chair by her computers, I spun around to face her, pulling closer to the edge of the bed.

  “Raven...” I started.

  “Spit it out,” she interrupted. “Treat me like a Band-Aid and just rip it off.”

  “Denise is having an affair,” I blurted out. I averted her eyes and looked down at my feet as I started to shake.

  Raven sat up in bed and crossed her legs in front of her, facing me. “And?”

  “What?”

  “So, Denise is having an affair. Yeah, I sort of figured. She used to want to hang out with me all the time to the point it was annoying, and she stopped not long after school started back. I never see her around the house anymore, and when I do, she’s always rushing off to be anywhere but here,” Raven explained.

  “But...I don’t think you understand,” I began, wringing my hands together. “She’s having an affair—with my mom.”

  Raven sat silently for a moment with an odd expression on her face. I couldn’t tell if she was in shock. “Wait...so you’re saying I was right?”

  “Excuse me?” I asked, not understanding her words. “You’re not upset?”

  Raven shook her head in defeat. “Not really. I mean, I thought...but then I wasn’t sure so—I didn’t want to be right.”

  “I’m going to need you to explain this to me.”

  Raven blew out a heavy sigh. “I had my suspicions a while back, but I didn’t want to say anything unless I was wrong. I’m sorry I’m not reacting appropriately.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said, leaning back in her plush leather chair. “Honestly, I was worried you’d blow a fuse. I thought it’d be better coming from me.”

  “It is!” Raven reassured. “Thank you for telling me. I don’t know how I’m going to tell my dad. He’s the one I’m worried about, not me.”

  “Raven, about Denise—”

  “Way ahead of you,” Raven grinned as she leaped from her bed and grabbed some documents from her desk. She handed them to me before taking a seat on the edge of her bed. “So, when you asked about Denise and if she was related to a Samuel Lockhart, it turns out she is. They’re first cousins and get this. Samuel’s father was good friends with none other than Susan’s late husband, Elias Ridgway. I found an old photograph of them at the school together where Elias used to teach. They were both professors.”

  “Small world,” I muttered, flipping through the pages of the file. “When did you have time to gather all of this?”

  “Somewhere between not studying for French class and not studying for calculus,” Raven said enthusiastically. “But it gets even better!”

  “You really went down the rabbit hole for this one,” I commented.

  “Are you judging me?” she mocked. “So Samuel’s father, Nathan, finds out that Elias was having an affair with one of his students, which forces Elias into early retirement. That supposedly led to his depression and his eventual suicide.”

  “So, his death was labeled a suicide,” I reiterated.

  Raven shook her finger at me and reached over to the file, flipping a few pages over to a toxicology report. “So, it was labeled that, but they found trace amounts of salvia in the blood, and who do we know grows that?”

  “But salvia is legal,” I pointed out.

  “Right,” Raven began, “but it can cause hallucinations and intense bursts of emotions and distorted reality when taken in larger doses. The risks haven’t been studied very well, but my guess is, the old man probably thought he was having a heart attack before he ran over that cliff.”

  “So, Susan killed her cheating husband, but it can’t be proven. How does that tie into what’s going on now?” I asked.

  Raven straightened with a smile. “I’m glad you asked! Here’s the motive. According to an early filing, Elias was going to divorce Susan and run off with his barely-eighteen sweetheart. The only thing is, he dismissed the motion because most of his money was tied up in the youth outreach program—something that he and his wife, as well as their friends, had poured their life savings into. It made sense to get rid of him and collect the insurance money, and his wife got to collect the rest of his pension from his private plan.”

  “But, that still doesn’t explain—”

  “I’m getting there,” Raven cut me off. “So, I had an old friend who’s a little better at hacking than I am, pull some stuff from the back end of the outreach program page, specifically with donations. These people have massive donors—I couldn’t get any names, just numbers, but these cats are making a lot of money, more than what they should be for a so-called non-profit.”

  “A cover-up,” I stated.

  “Bingo! The only question is, for what?” Raven stated, putting her hands together under her chin, furrowing her brow in thought. She oozed with pride in her research.

  “Surely, the police have the same information that we do,” I commented, flipping through the pages of her document once again.

  “Well...yes and no.”

  My eyes flicked up at her as she looked away, biting her lip. “What did you do?”

  “Not all those documents were obtained legally...”

  “Raven!” I sighed. “Can they trace them back to you?”

  “I think I covered my tracks,” Raven said hurriedly. “I may have been a little overly enthusiastic about my findings.”

  “This is dangerous. What if someone comes after you? I mean, Denise lives here! She could be involved!” I exclaimed, standing from my seat to pace the room.

  Raven sighed, allowing her head to droop. “Ais, I’ll be okay.”

  “How do you know?” I pleaded, sitting beside her on the bed.

  “I’m not going to be here much longer,” Raven stated, meeting my eyes.

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “Where are you going?”

  “I’ve decided to check myself back into rehab after homecoming and finish out the semester there.”

  “Raven, you don’t have to go back there. You can stay with me—”

  “It’s not that, Ais,” Raven stated, placing her hand over mine and squeezing. “While being with you is wonderful, I know I’m falling back into my old ways. You’ve seen it already. I’m not getting better, and being invisible here isn’t helping my mental health. I have to make a choice—to live.”

  “So,” I began, understanding the weight of her words, “all this research...was a way to say goodbye?”

  “No! No...” Raven rushed to say. “I’m doing it for me. When I was at the center, I had people watching over me constantly. I had a whole group of people who shared their stories with me, which made me feel like I wasn’t alone. When I’m here, in this house, I’m alone, and if I’m going to get better, I need to be somewhere where I’m not.”

  I drew in a shaky breath, looking down at our clasped hands. “I understand.”

  “You do?” Raven asked skeptically. I knew she didn’t mean her tone of voice to be negative.

  I met her gaze with a weak smile. “I want you to get better, and I’ll stand behind whatever you need to do. I better be on the list for visitations.”

  A tear escaped Raven’s composure as she choked out a laugh, giving me a tight embrace. “Of course! And I expect to see you tomorrow for Jason’s big game, front, and center.”

  I smiled, wiping away my own tears. Standing up, I reached into my back pocket to check the time on my cellphone. “I have to go. I didn’t realize how late it was, and after family therapy, my mother wanted us to have dinner together.”

  “You get out of here, chick. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

  “Do you need a ride?” I asked.

  “Nah, I can catch the bus—hopefully,” Raven added with a wi
nk.

  “I’ll make sure my ringer volume is turned up,” I remarked, heading for the door. Raven escorted me downstairs. Her home had a soft glow from the illuminated chandelier in the foyer. As I reached for the front door, the knob turned as Denise stepped into the room.

  “Oh, hi, Aislin! I didn’t know you were here,” Denise greeted me with a warm smile and a short hug. “Is everything alright?”

  “I was just leaving,” I replied quickly, trying to brush past her.

  “Why don’t you stay for dinner? Raven hardly ever has you over here—”

  “She already has plans,” Raven interrupted. “She has to get back home to her family—her loving family.”

  Denise’s eyes darkened as she stepped away from the door, letting me pass. I turned around on the porch to see Raven shoot me a solemn expression as she closed the door behind me. I loved the fact she’d stand up for me whenever I needed it, but I didn’t want her to mess around with a wolf in sheep’s clothing. There was no telling how far Denise was invested in any of this since her name was floating around.

  Hopping down the stairs, I jumped into the driver’s seat of my car and headed out towards the gate. It opened for me as I pulled out onto the dark road, heading back for my neck of the woods. All the knowledge Raven had obtained swirled in my head as I tried to piece the puzzle together. At least now, I could see some of the picture forming, even if it looked like there were a lot more people involved in this small town conspiracy than I had initially thought. No amount of cop shows prepared me for what I was afraid we were uncovering.

  I pulled into the driveway of my home and parked outside the garage as I saw Susan flag me down from next door. I stood up from my seat with the door open as Susan inched down her front stairs.

  “Is everything okay, Susan?” I shouted over to her.